Want to meet your typical Hillary Voter?
I know that most readers here at TAH fall into the conservative side of the political spectrum, as do most military personnel and veterans, and as a consequence are somewhat baffled as to what kind of conscientious American could actually vote for a demonstrably corrupt politician like Hillary Clinton and her pedophiliac partner. Who are these people who willfully deny the old truism that where there’s smoke there’s fire? What kind of minds must they possess (or lack) to be so daffy as to defend this indefensible old crook?
Well, wonder no more, gentle readers, for Ol’ Poe has, through extensive research uncovered an entire cell of Hillary voters in, of all places, the rainbow environs of the Blue Left Coast:
It should come as no surprise that those who would blindly vote for any criminal Jackass the Democrat party tells them to could bow down to goats. After all, hasn’t their Monarch in waiting told us that many of the 30,000 missing State Department emails are about nothing more than yoga classes? Perhaps she just failed to recall that the subject matter was actually her grand plan to placate an angry national populace through the mind-calming practice of GoatYoga.
I’m thinking we should select Ex-PH2 to serve as our instructor for the mandatory classes that will follow should enough of the above types manage to carry that corrupt, coughing, cackling crone to victory in November. After all, Ex-PH2 tends to be more touchy feely than most here, with of course the clear exceptions of the exceptionally sensitive Dave Hardin and the gentle Veritas Omnia Vincit, both of whom Ol’ Poe thinks would make great Goat Yogers. A Vote?
Category: Politics
But, Hitlary cares. Isn’t that the only thing that matters?
Well, that and stopping those evil climate change deniers.
Looks like the link to the article got left out. Here ya go:
http://metro.co.uk/2016/09/06/theres-now-a-retreat-where-you-can-do-yoga-with-goats-6112730/
Still waiting on positive I.D for Hilabeasts new handler. Ex-Delta, SEAL or Walmart greater.
Well, Dave Hardin and ol’ VOV are more like rabbis on meth than anything else, most of the time.
My first Act would be the Jane Byrne Act, requiring them to live in cockroach-infested buildings on property heavily contaminated with lead from an old foundry. Minimum stay would be five years. That would be enough to get it into their systems and contaminate their genetic material.
They’d have to give up personal transport and Uber and take public transportation. No DIVVY bikes, and return the city bike lanes to the buses.
The best places for people like this to get the full experience are food deserts, where you have to take a 3-hour bus ride on way just to get a few cans of soup and a loaf of white rubber bread (batter-whipped, not dough), and the stores carry next to nothing in the way of fresh stuff.
They’d still have to work at their jobs, but their take-home pay can be knocked down to 10% of the gross, or if they really rake it in, 1% of the gross. They still have to pay the electric and gas bills. The other 99% gets parceled out to taxes, food pantries, animal rescues, and mission shelters.
Oh, and that patronizing attitude they show when they talk to the ‘little people’? Smack ’em right across the old piehole and tell them to shut the frack up. And they have to spend a minimum of one full day each week attending to the needs of park bench bums, those lost souls who have no place to go and talk to The Choir Invisible when they’re on the bus. The other day, they can spend in church.
Between them and that twat slippage Keely Mullen, I have a low tolerance for these hypocrites and the clouds they live on.
That’s just for starters.
I need a whiff of testosterone now.
Former Chicago mayor, the late Jane Byrnes PR stunt in 1981.
http://www.nytimes.com/1981/04/02/us/chicago-s-mayor-spends-lovely-night-at-project.html
I had forgotten that stunt. Re life, nobody gets out alive.
Well, Dave Hardin and ol’ VOV are more like rabbis on meth than anything else, most of the time.
I might resemble that remark at times, the ol’ part is starting to piss me off but time is inevitable…I can’t speak for Dave, but we heathen infidels are seldom thought of as religious figures….even when we do have a tendency to sermonize from time to time.
I will admit I still have a fairly decent flexibility for an ol’ fart, can kick my feet up to my head still. Probably from years of playing keeper. In any event, this goat yoga stuff is beyond my ability to keep a straight face. I’m sure everyone will be quite surprised to find I’m not what you might call a “new age” kind of deep thinker who spends time contemplating the overwhelming vastness of time and space while clearing my mind of external data streams. I can’t stop laughing when guys like Deepak Chopra start talking, Google him you’ll have a blast I assure you. That’s some entertaining shit there.
Okay, next time it’ll be VOV and ol’ Dave Hardin. We’re all old farts whether we like it or not. I intend to thoroughly enjoy the next 30 or 50 years whether anyone else likes it or not.
And the yogi/yogurters still haven’t figured out that now matter what you do, some day, you’re still gonna die, so you might as well go full-tilt and enjoy the hell out of it.
And you know I’m right.
You save me sooooo much typing. Ever since she got back from Rehab Ex-PH2 has been doing good. I only hope she tries to stay “centered”.
Deepak was good for a laugh…until his wiener started taking vacations in the wrong bun.
Lane Craig, now there is a really disturbed man. Any day I expect to read that he lit himself ablaze.
You are always welcome to come join the Soviet and Hooters Honey for a morning workout.
I am not responsible for any damage or injury.
Now that sounds like a great time Dave!
A little workout keeps me flexible for my soccer refereeing duties during the week after my regular work day, and best of all my sailing activities on the weekend.
I try to be understanding.
It appears that old age has mellowed me far too much. I can’t bark at the moon until Saturday.
” …contemplating the overwhelming vastness of time and space …”
If I was very young and could have one job or if old but science found a means for my living hundreds more years w/o aging, I would want to be assigned to a one-way spacecraft to space. I would not care if I were a janitor. It would have to be 100% self-sustaining, including propagation. For that ‘service’, we would enlist the assistance of SARC, who would, of course, be aboard. We would have entirely self-sustaining medical, science labs, farming, (both animal and plant),would have to be pretty much exactly like Earth, only w/o the bullshittery. (Which would inevitably creep into the system.) Could there be a better job? No, there could be no better job. Yes, time and space.
The goat will almost certainly vote for Hillary too.
Twice.
I’m thinking it’s only a short step from Goat Yogi to Goat fucker and we’ve all seen how that works out for the women and children in those places that enjoy that practice.
Oddly enough in this election cycle the same mechanics that work in Trump’s favor are also at play for Ms. Clinton. By this I mean that those who would vote for Trump are doing so not because they believe he’s a man of stellar character and great personal integrity but because voting for him sends a great big fuck you to the status quo. Inversely for Ms. Clinton there’s a shitload of voters who believe that it’s time to vote for a woman, regardless of that woman’s personal integrity or qualifications. They want to say they cast a vote for a woman during their lifetime and goddammit it’s going to be HRC!
Both parties have put forth a really terrible option as a candidate, but those hating the status quo or those wanting a woman don’t give a fuck because they’re voting for their candidate and that’s that.
Where it gets entertaining is those people like me who have to decide which of these assholes makes us less comfortable and vote the other way. Currently the wind is slightly blowing Trump’s way if you can believe CNN’s latest poll, but it won’t take much for it to go the other way on election day. I’m still not seeing a path to 270 for Trump, but maybe I’ll be surprised on the 9th to find I was completely wrong. Can’t say I’ll be disappointed at that outcome, just mildly surprised.
The next few weeks will be most entertaining.
As for the staunch HRC voters, you forgot the hipster doofus stache and beard boys in the skinny jeans…they like her as much as the Goat Yogis…which says a lot about that group of testosterone challenged males.
Maybe we’ll get lucky and none of them will reproduce. There may be a future for them as sex toys, you know. I hear there’s a big market for dildos.
“It’s time we had a woman president.”
Oh dear God, the stupidity of that statement. Eight years ago, it was “time we had a black president,” (though strangely we couldn’t seem to get an actual black guy for the vaunted First Black President) and look where that got us.
No, it’s time we had a president who’s a real leader, respects the Constitution, loves America, and will keep their oath. I don’t care if that person is a vegan Mexican Zoroastrian bulldyke lesbian. The Presidency is not some Good Ol’ Boys club that needs to let girls in. The race, gender, creed, and dick/puss preference of the candidate DO NOT MATTER, no matter how much anybody (for or against) wants to harp about it. What matters is their commitment to the Nation and to the responsibilities of their office. On that score, The Donald and Das Hildabeast both suck balls.
That the sack of shit known as Trump is the lesser of two evils demonstrates how truly despicable Hillary Clinton is. I don’t want to vote for the lesser of two evils.
Mattis 2016!
“Mattis 2016!”
Freedom Boner!
I don’t want as my president someone who would answer the following question:
“Which is it, Mr. xxxxx, boxers or briefs?”
“Which is it, wideload, panties or thong?”
I want as president someone whose answer would be along the lines of, “It’s not of your fucking business. Now, ask me a question of substance you twit.”
THAT’S my guy/girl. (Apologies to SARC who almost certainly has become aroused.)
IDC_SARC would be happy with an empty toilet paper tube.
maybe if every female orifice on the planet was unavailable and mah pecker shrunk
Braggart.
Reporter: Do you have a special someone you’re seeing?
Me: (Dead silence, stares at reporter)
Reporter (starts to sweat): Well, what I mean is, do you have a very special friend?
Me: (Dead silence, still stares at reporter)
Reporter: Well, what I mean is – is that – well, it’s something people are interested in….
Me: (Dead silence, stares at reporter)
Reporter: Well, it’s, well, it’s just that…. ummm… it’s awfully warm in here, isn’t it?
Me: Hadn’t noticed. You have 30 seconds left.
Reporter: OH, good, well, can we talk about —
Me: Your 30 seconds are up, as are your 5 minutes. Thanks for coming. ‘Bye.
Reporter: Well, but — but —
Me: I have work to do. Good-bye. (Looks up from desk.) You’re still here?
Reporter gets up, slinks out of Oval Office.
Poor Bill. I wonder what it’s like to sleep with Hillary. ?
Hell on earth.
How would he know? It has been 30+ years since that happened for Uncle Bill. I think that is more a question for Huma
I’ll say it again: if you were married to THAT, you’d be feeling up fat chicks at the office, too!
Dennis Miller once said, “That marriage couldn’t be any more about convenience if you put a Slurpee machine and. Slim Jim rack at the foot of their bed.”
I’m thinking he does nothing BUT sleep with wideload beside him. Ugh
Degree holders in unicorn breeding and rainbow identification.
I think you are all missing something here. We know, because most of us – well, a few of us, anyway – are pretty well grounded in reality. Dave Hardin might be the exception, but he wants to live on a boat.
But I digress.
What this bunch of silly twits want is someone telling them what to do, what to wear, what to eat, etc., etc. They want a ‘safe’ space (snork!) where everyone is accepted from the get-go, regardless of confusion about who or what s/he/it is. They want to be told what to do, how to do it, and not have to make REAL decisions.
And they want it 24 hours a day, too. They want to be part of something ‘bigger’ than they are.
Now, if you’ve been in the military, you know what I’m talking about. Stop chewing on that donut and reread what I said.
I think it’s time someone just said it.
Reinstate the draft and include ALL genders, including the confused ones.
But no free gender transit assistance. They’ll have to pay for that themselves. Maybe some of those doofus skinny boys(?) will grow a pair.
“Reinstate the draft and include ALL genders, including the confused ones.”
Ugh….why would you want force conscripts on our dedicated volunteer servicemen and women?
Ho Lee Fukk….IMO the problems that would create in wasted money and hours would just further degrade the armed forces.
The privileged would continue to find privilege within assignments and rank and further burden the forces with their entitled asses making horrible decisions.
But… but… don’t you see? It’s exactly what they want! They need structure. They crave it. They’ve never had it, not since birth! They are confused, wandering lost souls who need to be pointed in the right direction and develop real job skills.
It’s that or the Peace Corps, Doc.
Revive the Civilian Conservation Corps from the depression era. Put ’em in tents, feed them organic beans, and they can maintain the National Parks and forests. They can do yoga out in nature, and occasionally their numbers will be reduced by bears and mountain lions.
SFC D is clearly a wizard. You are solutions orientated guy…:)
Conscription into the CCC?
Can we make that a requirement for the able-bodied welfare recipients?
Why not? We could come up with an urban version as well.
No, unfortunately they have ‘rights’ and stuff. Also, many/most have like, 12 kids and of course those kids would be traumatized w/o mommy being around. They don’t miss daddy, though, b/c, well, you know.
But there’s not a whole lot of difference between the CCC and the military! In fact, the people who worked for the CCC and WPA went into the military at WWII and did quite well, thank you!
You see? There’s a solution for every social problem!
I like riding WAVES, as long as they dont speak. An occasional moan, faked or otherwise is nice.
You really are a sexy — er, sexist pig.
No pillow talk in front of the children. Besides it gets that HOBO guy all hot and bothered.
At his age we need to be cautious. He hasn’t been over excited since Bob McNamara made that video of his heart felt and sincere apology.
I can see that you need help in doing your part. Here’s a link to guide you, and please, pay attention to the part about ‘unbuttoned shirt’ and ‘glistening pectorals’.
http://www.heroesandheartbreakers.com/blogs/2016/09/how-to-talk-to-a-woman-who-is-reading-a-romance-novel#comments
Ok, confused here:
4. Sticking to polite conversation without any flirting.
What is the point in talking if I am not trying to get laid?
Oh, dear me. You have to read all the instructions.
1. Stand in front of her.
2. Your shirt should be unbuttoned, or better – have no buttons at all, leaving your chest exposed, your pectorals glistening in the flickering neon lights of the subway station.
3. If she hasn’t already looked at you, simply get her attention by shifting into your primal wolf form. Wave your paw in her direct line of vision.
Talking always precedes everything else, especially if you lower your voice so that you have to lean toward each other.
Now go back the bathroom and practice that lust-filled look in the mirror.
Can I practice that lust-filled look on my wife? I can get faster, longer-lasting results.
Mirrors are so boring.
Bar flys are boring, too.
Make sure that you observe Item #3 above, and wave the paw at her.
Sure, give it a shot. If she throws something at you, she may be half Klingon. I hear Klingon courting rituals are fierce.
Hillary does yoga?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yes, her first position is referred to as “Bald Dog’s Ass.”
No, no. She does YOGURT. I’m sure ‘yoga’ is a typo.
Maybe she did Yoda?
I know what you’re wondering: “How do I get that smell out of my yoga pants?” Well, you’re not alone and there is an answer. Take a look:
http://www.racked.com/2016/1/22/10771762/workout-gear-smell-yoga-pants-sports-bras
Been wondering this for months. Thanks 2/17 Air Cav. You know, I always could count on Air Cav in my day and damned if it still ain’t the truth.
White vinegar in the rinse water is also good for sweaters.
Dryer sheets are meant to prevent static cling in the winter. When they’re heated by the dryer, the oil in the sheet webbing is released onto your clothing. And no, it doesn’t washout very well, hence vinegar in the rinse cycle is a good idea. I’ve quit using dryer sheets except for sweaters in the winter.
Have you seen that how-to video for a pan with burned-on food, where they add water, dish soap, and a fresh dryer sheet, let sit for 30 minutes, and the gunk comes right out?
I don’t burn food often, so I’ve not tried that yet.
I did not know about that.
I know that half a lemon coated with salt will clean the tarnish off a copper-bottomed Revereware pot.
Vinegar and peroxide will remove tomato stains from fabric.
A 1 to 4 ratio of vinegat (1 part) to water (4 parts) will clean wooden furniture nicely and get the shampoo out of your hair, too, as well as clean stubborn dirt off windows. For wooden furniture, after the washup, dry it and feed it with beeswax, just rubbing it into the grain of the wood.
I use vinegar (white) in the final rinse. My washing technique, although unconventional, is as follows:
Wash
Rinse
Wash
Rinse
Rinse (with white vinegar)
Mrs. SP4/HMC has sensitive skin. I have psoriasis. This works well.
I also use white vinegar as a hair rinse. Also spray on and rub on psoriasis.
Any tree huggers out there? Good. I didn’t want to hear about water conservation. I pay for the stuff and I should be allowed to use as much as I want. Same for electricity.
I used to know a guy who set up a business making toys and puzzles and later on, furniture, out of pallets left over from construction sites. If he didn’t go pick that stuff up, it got burned. He did beautiful work, too.
I hope he’s still in business.
I would venture to guess that they are all owners of the Skittle-shitting unicorns that bodaprez promised all of us when he was elected preezy.
And here I was, meditating and doing my Action Figure Therapy, when suddenly I sensed this disturbance in The Force.
Unlike Jonn who buys Rum in half gallon plastic bottles and stashes cheap cigars to deal with his daily anxiety, I choose to be more enlightened.
I pamper myself first thing every day with Koran Toilet paper. Something about using it just makes me warm and fuzzy all over.
I then drink regular ole American Coffee, none of that pussyfied stuff, out of my helmet coffee cup. I check my Muslim bait out front for any signs of molestation, and check TAH for the daily asshattery.
On occasion, the Soviet (the cold angry bitch who stomps around my compound) usually goes out of her way to piss me off a couple of times a week. So I figure thats 30 minutes of cardio right there.
I am concerned for this Clinton lady. I ponder sometimes during meditation on exactly the manner in which I will piss on her grave. Will it be some marble flat thing in the ground or will it have some monument.
I worry that maybe the old whore will out live me. I have saved a copious reserve of urine in the freezer. In the event of my demise, probably from some Soviet plot, I need people who will step up and make sure my piss is properly applied when the time comes.
Brother, I’ll make sure your frozen piss finds the proper place to thaw!
Damn bro, that is the kindest thing ever said to me.
I knew I could always count on you Sparks.
If Hillary had 30,000 emails about Yoga, she wouldn’t need to wear pant suits.
Meh…I’d still short-leg her right in the donk.
Goat yoga? Goat…? What…the…holy…actual…fuck? That’s a thing? In this country? Christ on His Cross, we are so screwed.
You know, I saw that dumbass commercial on TV with the two freeze-dried hippies walking their pig, but I honestly thought it was a joke. Hell, I live in southern California. We don’t do that shit around here! Even the one crazy cat lady down the road who intends to vote for Das Hildabeast (the only such voter in town, also flies a gay pride flag in her yard, despite being adamantly “not gay;” go figure) would call this shit ridiculous.
I don’t get the whole yoga thing anyway, but seriously, GOATS? Fuckin’ goats…Mother of God. That’s some creepy fetishist shit right there.
They are close to sheep
????
The goat provides the refreshments: goat’s milk and feta cheese.
It’s an honors grad course at Berkeley. Have some respect.
I’d hit it… and eat that fukking goat.
BHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!
???????????
http://www.texashighways.com/recipes-entrees/item/7509-kiko-guerra-s-cabrito-al-pastor-recipe
I love cabrito.
Preferably cooked over a mesquite-charcoal fire.
This sounds like a lot of my wife’s friends up in Oregon right down to the tee…
Skippy, maybe you can explain Bisbee to our TAH colleagues that have never experienced it! 😉
Ouch… It’s Portland, San Francisco, on Steroids it’s where the hippies go because they are to left…. For the two above city’s
I see this on a regular basis.
http://willseberger.photoshelter.com/gallery-image/Hillary-Clinton-Art-Car/G0000EL5kvEQ1avg/I0000T8DXkomqrXg
HELP ! ! !
I need eye bleach
What idiot would make a mobile shrine to that waste of space. The owner is begging for vandalism.
Bisbee, AZ: where half of Haight-Ashbury went to live after the 1960s.
Flagstaff is where the other half ended up.
Don’t forget Taos and Santa Fe…
That’s where the hippies with money went.
???
It’s a religious thing, PT. The goat on the yoga mat is the reincarnation of the chick’s boyfriend Zippy.
Do Hillary voters drink tea instead of coffee too?
Whoa!!! Tea is not a bad thing. I drink tea. I also drink wine and occasionally, bourbon if I’m listening to good jazz. Tea is not a bad thing.
They probably drink goat’s milk because cow milk is ba-a-a-a-ad for you.
goat milk isn’t great for the youngsters though compared to cow milk, infants are more likely to develop vitamin D and folate deficiencies if fed goat milk
That could explain why people in certain parts of the world are so short.
So they can milk goats?
Hadn’t thought of it quite that way.
I want as my president someone who is attuned to my inner self, who readily gives hugs, who is warm and fuzzy and who is a female. I also vote for PH2 as the administrator. She has repeatedly demonstrated her warm, sensitive side, particularly when calling posers ‘smegma, pieces of shit, lowlife rat fuckers, scumbags and wastes of space’. That tells me all I need to know about PH2: That she is qualified based on her sensitive, caring nature, nurturing nature and kindheartedness. Based on PH2 meeting those criteria, I second her nomination.
Also, I want as president someone who ‘feels my pain’.
Most importantly, I want someone who will give me free shit for life.
You left out lazy, self-centered, overgrown spoiled brats and shiftless slackers.
BTW, is that a transgender moozie behind the goat? Is it a moozie and that is his special ‘friend’? What is that person planning to do to that poor goat?
I think she’s praying to the goat.
Billy goats are known for being a bit randy.
So, I suppose she’s praying she’ll get laid – or praying she won’t get laid by the old guy on the other side of her “friend”…
It’s a guard goat. Put fake horns on it and it becomes a butthead.
Here are some old videotapes from JFK press conferences. Note the woman reporter asking about equal pay, etc., for women around 3 minutes and later, another reporter asking about going to a conference where terms were negotiated. This is plus 50 years later and he’s 100 times smarter than the moron who inhabits the seat he used to have.
https://youtu.be/BRcTCUTXr5M
Last, but certainly not least, I stumbled upon this by accident and read it. It gives you one very good reason to vote for Trump and NOT shrillary.
http://downtrend.com/katrina/muslims-threaten-to-move-to-canada-if-donald-trump-becomes-president-video