Monkress explains how he told his dad he was joining the US Navy SEALs

| June 11, 2013

First, I want to back up. Remember when this shit started and Monkress was scrubbing the internet of all US Navy SEALs references and his lawyer was stating that he never said he was? And remember the back up logic that it was someone who misinterpreted, and it wasn’t Monkress’ fault?

Well, just watch it all.

At 0:32 “I knew he was a Navy SEAL.”
at 0:36 “I knew he had spent time overseas.”
at 1:31 “He’s done secret stuff that we probably don’t want to know about.”
at 1:38 “All those things created the person that he is today.” [Apparently she is referring to him being a lying sack of shit that earned a #1 seed in our tournament.]

I want to make sweet, sweet monkey love to this video.

UPDATE:

Taking down what I had. Boeing got back to me immediately, and is researching. I feel fairly confident I will get a speedy answer. There is no need to contact them.

Category: Phony soldiers

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Bobo

I was a bubblehead who had the misfortune to tie up next to that pig a few times. We did get BALPARS that had to be loaded into the computers for ballistic compensation, I figured that the tender might have something similar used to figure contamination spread incase something leaked from one of the boats.

Kinda old ET1

Possible… But if so and he did work with shipboard CBR gear, still a far cry from what his resume says.

Phil Monkress is a lying turd.

AtDrum

This is why I love this blog. I load it up and whammo, new funny stuff on Monkress, new hilarity in video form, and new drama queen in the form of Sam.

Sam

Is the full video available anywhere?

streetsweeper

Morning, Sam! Brevard News is working on getting another video posted according to their last post here. Just have to wait for it. Have a great day and welcome back.

Sam

Thanks. Have to sleep sometime and I was born good looking and not wealthy… so I have this laborious thing I have to do called a JOB. UGH

NHSparky

@149-Bobo-correctumundo. Anyone who’s anyone in the state of GA (hell, most of the SE United States) sets their sights on GT for engineering, not Valdosta State.

I had the honor of (sadly, briefly) attending GT as a freshman/sophomore until I found out they like it when you HAVE MONEY TO PAY for school and keep your grades up, and then I went back to AD (was Navy ROTC picked up in Great Lakes.) So yeah, between there, my Nuke School stuff, and a few distance/Internet courses, is how I ended up getting my degree from Thomas Edison. Not that big a deal, in the big scheme of things. The degree and $2 will get me a cup of coffee at Dunkin.

But seriously, he’s got to know there’s enough people out there who know 1–DS aint’ a SEAL source rating, 2–being on a tender you know a LOT of people who know a LOT of people who know YOU.

How long did he honestly think he was gonna pull this off?

Old Trooper

@157: “How long did he honestly think he was gonna pull this off?”

Yeah, Sparky, this modern instant information age thingy can be a cruel bitch sometimes.

My fervent hope is that he crashes in a manner that causes him to do a lip skid for a couple of blocks (biker term).

peteOldABH

Has there been any recent update on Monkeyboy? Has he been publicly discredited and shamed in front of the masses yet? I knew there were some legal proceedings happening.

Trent

Aw coconuts! I have computer issues on a day of glorious high times and miss all the action.

Valkyrie

Wasn’t Phillip’s claim about being Native American also proven bullshit? That was scrubbed from the web also wasn’t it?

Or am I just brain dead from being up all night to see if Paul showed back up?

Anonymous

I think the linked video may very well sum up what Paul K Wickres and Phillip David Monkress are probably feeling these days. So tell me boys, are you feeling like it is all Coming Undone, hm? *cackle*

not julie wEir(wink)

Think twice before you go fucking people over….
Especially when there is VIDEO EVIDENCE OF YOUR LIES….

That gets a little complicating

Steadfast&Loyal

OOOOOOO

a matinee!!

got popcorn.

watching video now.

awesome.

Virtual Insanity

#160 Trent has been watching Jake and the Pirates!!

(yeah, I know, I have a 3-year-old grandson)

HMCS(FMF) ret

Has anyone gone and reported it to any of the Agency IG’s that does business with APL? I would think that one of them would be very interested in both Phillip and Paul for various reasons, and would probably like to ask for a refund for being “less than honest” about the exploits of their leader and the numerous legal issues of one of their senior “executive:

ChipNASA

@166 HMCS(FMF) ret

I kind of said this to Jonn (and TAH in general) and maybe even offered to give him phone numbers or e-mail addresses.

I believe that(and I could be wrong) this is already on *many* agencies radar as well as folks in the U.S. Congress who may be holding some interest in this. (Again, I just glean this from reading the threads, and could be wrong)

OWB

Given that every one of those agencies is pretty busy right now responding to Congressional investigations, this nonsense may not seem like the priority that it would have been a couple of years ago. Or, maybe not. Perhaps enough campaign contributions were made in the appropriate places to keep any previous investigations from going beyond the ho-hum phase.

Now may just be exactly the right time for any investigations to go forward. (Sure hope that someone has checked campaign finance forms for political contributions made by these clowns.)

Trent

@Virtual Insanity-I have an almost four year old and a two year old who love that show. I can sing most of the songs too.

peteOldABH

OK I found it, an error on his resume. He lists

“he served as a Field Engineer with Computer Systems International/NATO (the North Atlantic Treaty Organization) from 1992 to 1994 in Sigonella, Italy.”

It should be Sigonella Sicily! What a Marooon. As bugs bunny would say.

EdUSMCleg

Edited by Jonn

clamsgotlegs

I needed to take a shower after watching her hero-worshipping introduction.

Now we know why *Boeing* recommended him.

If he’s really is a ladies man of biker legend, she might want to get tested. Just sayin’

not julie wEir(wink)

And what MARINE would discourage their son from going into MARINES?

Green Thumb

He looks like a bag of hungover saturated assholes in the video.

Weak. I mean fucking unprofessional and weak.

You can smell the Vaseline and burnt rubber through the screen.

And this guy is a leader?

not julie wEir(wink)

I heart GREEN THUMB

not julie wEir(wink)

“I want to make sweet sweet monkey love to this video” BEST LINE ON TAH EVER!!!

Hack.Stone

The biggest crime here are those terrible hair plugs parked on his cranium. Oh, the humanity!

EdUSMCleg

Oops… Guess posting his friends’ info was a bad idea. My bad, Jonn. In my defense, it can be found open source.

EdUSMCleg

And I just saw your update saying “there is no need to contact them”… Noted. lol

LostOnThemInterwebs

@75 Well hell god for you on the DD214, but honestly this is not the thread for the qualifications, that one ended up with 1900 comments where it was shown he is a phony 🙂 (at this point I have to put a writing alert as I usually try to keep my posts clean but …) I have to admit I REALLY dislike this guy, I really do, he has no self respect, no honor but more importantly he comes to me as a bully, his demeanor looks like it, and you can tell he knows is a bullshit because for instance the perfect “speech talk” when your brain goes from remembering to creating at 4:15 he starts the phrase as I would, separating yourself grammatically from people that have been where shots are fired in anger. The other one is that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some SEALs, and I kid you not if my buddy who introduced us hadn’t said something like 3 hours later I wouldn’t have noticed, again I’m not an expert but the ones I’ve met (I can’t say I know too many) their demeanor is just .. MM i would say relaxed, I once met Marcus Luttrell at a barnes and noble (OMG that dude is so tall!!!) and while I had a really hard time not to go “fanboy” on him (Is something I’m really careful as I don’t want to annoy them) talked for around 4 minutes, the line was huge, he took the time, smiled and let’s compare Paul K Wickre and / Phillip Dale Monkress writing and comments with a status update like this (funny enough that was on my bday LoL!! so random) Marcus Luttrell June 5 near Houston, TX via mobile So this was new for me… Axe wakes up and can’t breath to well because of being sick and the mucus so being the Seal medic (Retired) I stand him up to change his diaper so he can breath a little better and to my amazement he sneezes a snot rocket on me from mid chest… Read more »

not julie wEir(wink)

Paul, what you got???
Lets go sister!

NHSparky

Okay, I laughed my ass off at the snot rocket description.

ExHack

@174,

Nice. Well played. Wordy by your standards, but win.

Flagwaver

@136, I was supply and I went into Iraq enough for my 60 days non-consecutive. I was only a postal monkey, but it was still enough for the Campaign medal. Not much else because an officer in my BN hated me, but I didn’t need it.

With that, it is highly possible for non 11-bangbangs to have seen combat, but I highly doubt that crotch snorkeler ever heard a shot fired in anger outside of an angry farmer catching him molesting a goat.

Hack.Stone

The claims of service as a SEAL by Phillip “the monkeys ass” Monkress are as genuine as the hair on his head. That’s all that needs to be said.

ChipNASA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPirYDvwM30

/with apologies to Jeff Beck.

ChipNASA

Just in case it doesn’t make the main page:

Just something for PDM and PKW and APL to think about

Contractors who defrauded government for minority contracts set to be sentenced

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/contractors-who-defrauded-government-for-minority-contracts-set-to-be-sentenced/2013/06/14/9f5ada66-d439-11e2-a73e-826d299ff459_story.html

Crotchity Old Bubblehead

Didn’t the Chernobol accident take place around the time he was on AS-34 (We called it the love boat due to 39% of the crew had some type of STD and the high number of Captain’s Masts that included some type of sexual act of at least one of the participants)? I was onboard her during that time frame and being a bubblehead we had to do all kinds of monitoring with the mostly useless BS CBR kits and other detection devices to prove it wasn’t us or one of the tended units causing an increase in background levels. That might be his tie in on his resume of downwind detection etc… Otherwise he being a DS on an OLD ship at that time effectively had no real day job to preform. He didn’t have to work on a complicated weapons, comms or navigation system being onboard the CANOPUS. He would have been primarily responsible for running the SNAP system (think along the lines of a REALLY complicated Access database that was made harder for us untrained slobs than what it had to be) that was used to control and sequence maintenace actions for the units and to a lesser degree ships company issues.

clamsgotlegs

@187 Chip

http://www.kfoxtv.com/ap/ap/florida/8th-person-pleads-in-30m-nasa-contract-fraud/nX2HX/

Don’t forget this one. They are going back TEN years looking for fraud!

Merritt Island? That sounds familiar.

not julie wEir(wink)

Happy 5th anniversary, Phil!
5 years ago today you got popped on your DUI…

Celebrate!
“Govern yourself accordingly”

Cheers!

NHSparky

@188–IIRC, Cherynobl was 1986. Monkress didn’t even go to boot until 1987, and wasn’t on the Can-o-pussy until 1988/89, IIRC.