That season again
Just scrolling through my Facebook, I noticed several of my friends are watching their sons, daughters, nieces and nephews head off for the recruiter or for basic training. As school days end and some kids are suddenly concerned about their futures, that’s what happens. Believe me, I’m right there with all of you.
I thought my mother was being silly when she saw me off at the Syracuse airport back in 1974 and she couldn’t even force a smile. But I understood when I saw my son off for basic training. It was a sense of pride that he was on the right path, that he’d come to a grown-up conclusion without me, that I was probably losing my son forever to the world. Of course, I had only a few minutes to impart all of the worldly advice I thought I might have forgotten to teach him through the years before that. Suddenly, there wasn’t enough time.
And then, I went through it all again when he deployed to Afghanistan. He was going to be a combat veteran the next time I saw him and even though he was nearly thirty years old, he was still too young for it to happen to him. At least that time, we had some time to talk about what it was going to be like over a bottle of rum and some cigars on the balcony. When he came home, he was still the same guy who had left and he thanked me for preparing him for it. Sometimes dads do know what they’re talking about.
Last year, he went to Korea. I took him to the airport from the Milblog conference after showing him off to all of my friends there. But after leaving him at BWI, it felt just as bad as it had the first time. I couldn’t go back to my friends, I just went home. So you can probably assume that it never gets easier.
Tonight at Zero-dark-thirty, I’m picking him up at BWI again and I’m more excited than I’ve been all year. I’m more excited than I’ve been since I picked him up at BWI when he came back from Afghanistan. My rum-drinking/cigar-smoking buddy is coming home before he heads off to Germany next week. Three years this time, and he’s going to the surgery unit at Landstuhl to be close enough to the Afghanistan War that he can make a difference – for him, but far enough away from it to stay safe – for me.
It will break my heart to take him to the airport next time, but I’ll remember that when he comes home, there will be rum to drink and cigars to smoke and two old vets can reminisce about their lives which intersect in an experience that most people can only imagine or watch at the movies. Two old vets – a very proud father and his son.
Category: Pointless blather
I am glad you have that relationship with your son.
You should be proud. I know that feeling – had it several times with my son. Enjoy your cigars and rum.
We can only ALL hope to some day drink rum and smoke cigars with our sons. Congratulations!
Enjoy, Jonn!
Yup!!!
WOW thanks John, Waiting 18 days till my boy is out of A stan, guess it doesn’t get easier. Enjoy your time 🙂
Great, great post, Jonn.
Welp, Jonn. Can’t say as I’ve had a similar experience other than, you mom and mine must have been connected because when I shipped out for basic, she was tight lipped and not quite pleased about my decision to go in the US Army. Funny ain’t it, how mom’s can tweak you, huh?
My mistake. It’s tomorrow night. Good thing I checked before I left. Guess I’m more anxious than I thought.
Great post. My recruiter offered to drive me to Little Rock to the AFES station (MEPPS, now, I guess), and I gratefully accepted. I’m an only child, and watching my daddy get all weepy was more than I could bear. My “little” girl did pretty much the same thing. Of course, she left us a three-year-old to keep us company, but still…
I’ve been reading this blog for sometime now, and this is probably the finest post you’ve ever wrote. Well done!
Being anxious is certainly understandable.
Yeah, moms can tweak ya, I went through the same thing way back when. As did my oldest son back in 1989, before he left for San Diego.
That was a very beautiful post John. No joke. Semper Fi.
Thanks Jonn. In a few sentences you just summed up the essence of my relationship with my son, born during my first tour in Viet Nam who is now an Infantry company commander in Afghanistan. Wow, I do believe I understand. I look forward to the single malt and cigars with him in September.
1974!?!?! Jonn!!?! Hell, I didn’t realize you were that old. I had you figured for 1984 at most. (entering Army).
Powerful post. I so far have just done the opposite, leaving my two sons as their dad ships off to war 4 different times. I hope my boys choose military service, regardless of branch. I don’t know how I would handle watching them go into harms way though. Your post gives me a little insight into that, thankyou.
Great insight into good ol American parenting! God bless you and you son. My father always held it together when I left but he always had that twinkly glossy eyed face when I came home. First time I remember him saying he was proud of me and called me a man was my ceremony upon completion of basic.
In my experience soldiering is harder on the loved ones then the soldier doing what he was made to do.
Im happy that you guys have that relationship. I would have loved to have a father that I had that relationship with.
I’ll never know that one, for sure. Grace be with you, Brother. I can only imagine …
Outstanding post!
Kudos to you and every other parent who don’t let fear stand in the way of their children’s aspirations. I joined the DEP the day after I turned seventeen. My Mom wasn’t happy with my joining the Marines, but she respected my decision, and after one or two ‘Why not the Air Force?’ talks she fully supported me. She never even tried to talk me out of volunteering for both my deployments despite her being downright terrified of what might happen.
and Landstuhl is a beautiful spot.
You need to come up with a reason to go visit him out there sometime.
I remember everything about my day. I remember what my parents were wearing, which hoodie I had on (yeah I wear those :P), getting through the metal detector in that tiny airport (Jerez De La Frontera) and turning around and waving goodbye one last time. It didn’t really occur to me until laying in bed there in BMT that I was never going home (to stay). From there it was Tech School, then my first assignment. Of course the TI came in and flipped off the lights and reminded us kindly that mother was not there to tuck us in anymore. 🙂
Granted, that was only 7 years 11 months ago to the day.
@Former3co I had a similar experience. Halfway into receiving I couldn’t stop thinking, “What the hell have I gotten myself into?!” My Mom called my poor recruiter at least twice a week about what exactly I was doing at that particular phase of my training, and asking about stuff I’d mentioned in my letters. Once I graduated she snapped out of it, and seemingly bought everything in stock at the PX that said My Daughter Is A Marine.
Nice…..very nice.
How many stood fire watch at reception? I did numerous times after senior drill caught the recruits he put on fire watch napping, lol. And did they ever pay for screwing the pooch, boy howdy!
Jonn,
Like many others have said here, I’m so happy that your son is coming to visit before he leaves for Landstuhl. I hope the every second you all share together on this visit is one that creates even better memories than any other times you have spent together.
I’ve never met your son but if he has even half the compassion you do for our Wounded (and I expect that he does) then he will be such a blessing to all of those who pass throught that amazing facility. He won’t be in a dangerous war zone (thank the good Lord) but I will pray for his spirit as he will be in a medical facility that treats those who are so seriously wounded down range.
Sending you many hugs and wishes for a grand visit with your son.
Jonn, its write ups like this that remind me why I love reading this blog. As I do not have any kids yet, I will not be sharing this feeling with them any time soon, but as a Son, it is something my Father (USMC 22 years, Somolia Veteran) and I have shared since I was a 20 year old CAB awardee and combat vet of Asscrackistan, and shared again when I left college my senior year to fight again, in Iraq (he was PISSED I was leaving before finishing). Jonn, it is a bond that is very, very rare in this world, and one that should be shared and has to be experienced to be understood. Much like that of Eugene Sledge (With The Old Breed) and his father, who treated PTS cases from WW1
Wow, Best. Post. Evah….!
Great Post Jonn, thank you. when you are standing there giving him that special Dad hug… take a second to hug a little me from me. I knew this all along, but you just help me realize why Jason would tell me his dad was his Best Friend. but my heart.
exceptional. and i can’t stop crying. <3
Jonn, that was such a heart-wrenching post. My boy graduated last year and has already made a trip down to the army recruiting station. It’s going to be hard watching him go. Just thinking about it is bad enough.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s good to know that others are facing and have faced the same situation.
Jonn, give your boy an extra hug for all us dads who have shipped our sons off the boot camp and off to their duty stations. I can’t believe it’s been 23 years since my boy had that bewildered “what the hell have I done” look at Sky Harbor as he left for boot camp. I was never prouder of him than on that day.
I know what you mean, John, except for one thing- I have zero combat experience, so when my son the Marine Grunt was shipping to Iraq, I was at a loss. The best I had was Grafenwohr wart hog stories. He had good leaders, so when he came back I drove from Idaho to Twenty Nine Palms so I could look in his eyes…he was the same, and more. Sure is good to have a drink and a smoke with him, even three years later. Thanks for the post, and yet another trip down the lane.
Still the best thing ever written on the subject. I need it now as much as I ever did
This post is still as important to me today as it was a year ago. Got one at Parris Island right now and it’s kinda kicking my butt. One on the Nimitz, working her ass off ( all work will be easy after deck life) and one at home on reserve duty thinking about letting uncle sam pay him full time….