Dalton Coldiron – the Records
Remember that “super soldier” Dalton Coldiron? That sensitive guy who loves little bunnies and shirtless photos (which show off his Ranger tattoo) featured here at TAH last week?
I decided to do a follow-up FOIA on him. Lo and behold, I’m pleasantly surprised; NPRC turned the corner damned quickly. And no – I didn’t include a $20 bill with my FOIA request. (smile)
Seems Coldiron does have records at NPRC after all. On the second try NPRC was able to find them. (Dunno why they couldn’t find them a couple of months ago for Scotty.)
I guess that means Coldiron technically did serve in the Army. In fact, it seems Coldiron was in the Army for the grand total (presumably including both active and DEP time) of 46 days – from 18 July to 1 September 2011. His duty status is listed on NPRC’s FOIA response as “uncharacterized”.
He was separated as a “Private” at Fort “Lost-in-the-Woods” (Leonard Wood), MO. I’m guessing it was an Entry Level Separation.
Coldiron’s records also say he left the Army with no awards, badges, or tabs – and no military education. Nothing. Zip. Nada. So according to his official records, any claims he’s making of being a “Ranger”, “SF”, “Airborne”, or even that he qualified Marksman with some assigned weapon would appear to be 100% bull.
Here’s what NPRC sent in response to my FOIA:
Looks to me like Coldiron here is just another wannabe who didn’t really have the guts to serve and managed to get out of his contract. Or maybe he’s just a fragile “special little snowflake” who couldn’t handle Basic Training. But whichever it was, it doesn’t seem to have kept him from MSU (Making Sh!t Up) about his “military service”.
Category: Phony soldiers, Shitbags
So, I guess he’ll be going to Russia to train the Spetznatz in spork warfare.
Jonn. I hear that’s the case – and he’s taking his “vicious attack rabbit” along to help with the training.
Killer Bunny!! http://youtu.be/XcxKIJTb3Hg
Someone needs to grab a belt sander and take it to his arm and remove those Tattoos. Dalton Cody Coldiron, you are the next constestant in the next TAH Stolen Valor Tourney. dumb fuck
I have two of his friends as my friends at Facebook. I have posted the info on his two posts here. Maybe he will be asked to qualify himself, out behind the bucking chutes.
And with all the other “issues” he has. Gawd this kind of shit just pisses me off.
Even as a “kiss and ship” DEPper he didn’t even last in boot long enough to find the chow hall. More likely he was in DEP and fessed up at the Army equivalent of MOT in boot.
AT LAST! Someone that John Gidduck can look down on. And from the same Army Post, no less.
Closest thing to a Tab this jack-off will ever see is a diet cola (Kudos to you if you got the reference. It also means you’re as old, if not older, as I am.)
@7 I’m old and not only that, I was int he grocery the other day and saw it on the shelf. I thought they stopped making it.
/huh. 🙂
@8. No shit!? I thought it was out of production as well. Well, I’ll be damned.
Yeah, well, I also saw a can of Billy Beer sitting on the shelf at Brown’s Lobster Pound once. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna crack that bad boy either. Tab…ugh.
And he lives — where?
Time for a little face-to-face wall-to-wall counciling.
Oh, and I couldn’t help but think of Preezy Catah’s (the second worst president evah) attack rabbit.
@11. Young Dalton is a resident of the Sooner state. I went to our big rodeo last night looking for him. Sadly, I didn’t find him. I guess those PRCA sanctioned bulls just weren’t big enough for him, so he gave it a miss.
Well, since he didn’t finish basic training, does that make him a bigger pussy than Brianna Manning?
Wasn’t sure if that’s possible.
@14….he did impersonate a Used Car Salesman…I mean WTF…..Impersonating a Lady’s Shoe Salesman a la Al Bundy??
/kill yourself already
So I see a pattern here.
That means I´ll have to get me a “pregnant” tab tattoed on my arm, ´cause it seems to be obligatory for even short term service members to get “anything you can´t be” tattoed on your arm
But then again I´m happy to provide some tabs I would love to see tatooed on those clowns. Hell I´ll even do it myself – free of charge 😉
http://s14.directupload.net/images/130809/hiznai8x.jpg
An effeminate looking turd, indeed.
@Jas, I like those tabs. Where do you get them?
I also thought Tab was no longer being made and marketed. It’s horrible stuff. RC Cola came out with RC Zero in the 1970s, and it was quite good, but it didn’t last, for some reason.
So – the whole bull ring story was just more BS PhD? No surprise there.
Did anyone rescue that poor bunny yet?
@Ex-PH2
Sadly nowhere I just made those with PS. But then again there is an embroidery machine in the household… 😀
@13: As I stated in the other thread; if he can’t handle boot camp, he sure as hell can’t handle bull riding, even the mechanical one in front of Wally World.
@16.
201 file on the back.
There is one in every crowd.
@21 Green Thumb
201 file? Sorry I don´t get that (foreigner card played) 😀
Jas, here, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/201_file
in oldfartese a 201 is the file that contains all your military records (not sure if they changed it in the last quarter century) – would be at minimum a full back if not full body tat…lotsa ink and pain. Leastways I hope that’s what he means…
Ah ok now I get it.
Thanks mates.
I must be doing something right. I got a reply from the post that I put on the wall of, Ryan Wayne Shults:
“Stop posting stuff on my wall about dalton coldiron…i do not even care what he pretends to be. He has never even made a claim around me about being in the army or anything and I think the tattoo is a tribute k a friends I’m not sure nor do I care. Get a life and stop trying to ruin his.”
My reply to him:
“Tattoos of military insignia/badges/medals are not done in tribute. I know his ex’s family and that he IS making those claims, whether to you or not. Support his phoniness if you care to.”
Ryan came back with some more conversation, and through a good back and forth, he sees what we are trying to do, and thanks us for our efforts. He also thanks us for our service.
Jas: you might also see the acronyms “MPRJ” (Military Personnel Record Jacket), “OMPF” (Official Military Personnel File), and the term “fiche” (short for a microfiche version of the latter). They’re often used interchangeably, and were the terms of choice/use during various periods. They (and “201 file”) all mean roughly the same thing: the official, “for record” copy of an individual’s military records.
Uncharacterized discharge almost certainly means an entry level separation, i.e., he couldn’t hack basic.
The choir director at a school for the mentally challenged discovered that by feeding bananas and Coca-Cola to his students, they sang like angels. Problem is, they also gained a lot of weight. Fortunately, the director was able to substitute apples and Tab, the students lost the weight they gained, and they still sang wonderfully. From that time forward, however, they were known as the Moron Tab and Apple Choir.
He never started basic, he dropped out of reception. But since FOIA says 46 days, that means I won the bet and my father collected on false information. I knew it would take at least a month to kick him out. As to his claims, we have a photo of his paint ball convo on the other thread that he said he was a Ranger
Smitty, what did he join as? Was he going OSUT there for MP/Eng/Chem , or was just doing basic there?
“I’m pleasantly surprised; NPRC turned the corner damned quickly.” — Hondo
I’ve also gotten pretty quick turnarounds with my FOIA requests to them. One of the guys I recently submitted an FOIA on is coming close to receiving a nomination for mention here.
@18. Did you eat a low-cal Moon Pie with your RC Zero?
Growing up poor in the south, an RC and a Moon Pie was considered a good lunch.
Damn, that toothpick-dicked dweeb didn’t even make it as long as Giduck,he was thrown out of Boot Camp, didn’t even make it to AIT! I regard him as highly as a poser I used to have to work with. That lardball dweeb looked right at me and told me he was also prior service, was in the USMC, but got kicked out of Boot Camp for kicking his DI’s ass. I laughed so hard in front of him when he said that, I thought I was going to crap my drawers!!
@ #18, my mother, God bless her tortured soul, survived the 1960s and 70s on Dietrite Cola, Maxwell House coffee and Pall Malls. Neither my sister or I ever saw her eat one morsel of food. I remember taking one swig of Dietrite. It tasted like battery acid. On another note, we had an RC bottling plant in my home town growing up.
Andy, He enlisted as an MP, which is just like special forces, so he put that as his occupation on FB.
Proud infidel, he didnt drop out of basic, he dropped out of reception. he never started basic.
Mess with the best. Tap out like a bitch.
That should be his next tattoo. What a gigantic sandy vagina to tap out during US Army basic training.
IMO, both Tab and Diet Rite beat the hell out of Diet Pepsi (can’t stand that stuff and will only drink it when desperate as hell).
YMMV.
@36. Dietrite…Dear God
@39.
Diet Shasta.
What rb325th says,I concur.
@LebbenB, there’s a low-cal Moon Pie? No, I never had Moon Pie with RC Zero, but I did have Hostess choco snoballs with it and later, with bourbon and ginger ale.
@Smitty, he pussed out at AG Reception? that little snotwad should have had his Man Card revoked for that alone!!
Yeah, what ever the lost in the woods equivalent of 30th ag is, thats as far as he made it
@45.
The only problem was that they either ran out of morning formation or had the road guard vests on….
A CO 1-50 Hell’s Kitchen.
Starship.
@Ex-PH2. At one time there was a “Low Fat” Moon Pie. Bourbon and ginger ale? Now that’s tasty. Ginger ale is one of my favorite mixers, I think it’s pretty underrated.
@Smitty. 43d AG. (I went to DS School at FLWMO)
In re Coldiron aka Tabless POS. The only reasons I can think of for him not leaving reception is failing that rinky-dink physical assessment. Failure would put him in PTRP until he could pass. If he couldn’t pass it then that would be grounds for an ELS. Or he could have spazzed the fuck out during in-processing and was kept at reception long enough to chapter him out.
according to his parents, he made up stories of extensive hard core drug use. according to his actions prior to, and after his extensive military career, im not so sure its made up.
@Smitty. The one time he tells the truth, no one believes him. Perfect!
TSO, may i request to write the bio for this kid in next years tourney?