Introducing A New and Improved Amphibious Vehicle
In my search for new ideas from the Dept of Defense, I came across this particularly interesting presentation.
This is an experimental amphibious vehicle capable of carrying at least 10 personnel in all terrain, including swamps and bogs. Note that the tail, while dragging in the photograph, is quite capable of being used as a means of clearing opposing personnel, and the spikes on the tail can easily be used as cutting edged weapons. The beak up front, on the snout, is at the very least, a lethal weapon in itself, being capable of snapping off limbs and other extruding body parts.
In addition to this multipupose creation’s uses as a weapon of war, it can reproduce at will as long as there is a male example in the vicinity. At least one dozen offspring can be produced at one go.
Maintenance of the amphibious all-terrain SNAPR is extremely cost efficient. Fuel consists of frogs, fish and the occasional small bird stupid enough to admire itself in a pond’s surface. Mechanical issues are zero, and the working lifespan of a well-maintained SNAPR is about 25 years.
All in all, I’d say this is probably the smartest idea yet in armored amphibious/all-terrain transporation.
Category: "Your Tax Dollars At Work"
Geez, Ex-PH2 – have you been partaking of the subject of the previous article? (smile)
Nope. Just having my usual bit of fun, Hondo.
You should have seen the size of that snapper in real life. She took up most of one lane of traffic, and was trying to cross the road to get to the marsh on the other side and make a nest – probably her last one, too.
If y’all ever go to the Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World in Springfield MO, they have a 110 year old Alligator Snapper in one of their display tanks, it’s a whopper!
they aint no joke, did you ever try to get a hook out of one of them after they ate your worm and reeled it in? 1/2 in pin bit right through, had to use a locust branch to keep the mouth open andi will tell you they have bent many a cheap hook dislodger in my teen age boys collection!
I always thought Gamera should have been able to kick Godzillas ass because well turtles eat lizards….
As a younger and admittedly stupider lad, I caught a medium sized snapper near my house. I picked it up and showed it off to my little friends, then demonstrated how they got the name “Snapping Turtle” by putting a stick near his mouth. Fun times.
Except, it didn’t go for the stick. Did you know that these things have a sharp tooth at the tip of the beak (or whatever it’s called)? It latched onto my left pointer finger and that tooth went right through my fingernail and into the bone. Then it decided to just chill out with a death grip on my hand.
I pedaled my bike back to the homestead (quite a feat with a 5lb dinosaur hanging off my mitt) and screamed for my dad to shoot the damn thing. Dad put down his Schlitz, laughed at me, then grabbed a flathead screwdriver and pryed the mouth open to release me.
That little bastard hit the ground and bounced once, then hissed at me and ambled off to the brook. I swear it was smiling.
Yeah, F’ those things. And F’ my 10 year old self for being a moron.
What kind of mileage does it get, Ex?
*grin*
Just keep feeding it frogs, lizards and fish and the mileage is better than any current gas-powered POV. No concerns about running out of diesel fuel, either, and essentially non-polluting,
The female’s eggs could help supplement the bacon flavored C Rats/MREs and in a pinch the excess to transportation needs make an excellent soup. Kinda taste like chicken. (grin)
ANYTHING tastes better than the damned MRE Omelet which can also be used to patch concrete walls and asphalt.
Ex can you embed the video link I attempted to post below?
Here you go.
Thanks Ex.
Judging by the long tail that one is probably a male alligator snapping turtle.
No this looks like the common North American snapping turtle.(BTW that’s a perfect eating size). An Alligator Snapping Turtles would dwarf this one. Males can average 175 -200lbs.
https://youtu.be/UIvWDraj6R4
Tony, that’s a repeat of the one above!
No shit, I asked Ex to embed it after my attempt failed.
Yes, this is just the common North American snapper.
The alligator snapper, while somewhat rare around here, is one of many turtle species in this area.
Even so, this turtle was big enough to cover most of a single traffic lane, which shows her age.
The only improvement on ole SNAPR there would be if she was pictured carrying an Asian carp in her mouth to feed her little snappettes with./smile
🙂 🙂 🙂
I thought it was new Army cover.
Step aside, Ex- Hot Rod Turtle coming through!
Hah! And then there’s the classic Roman turtle (testudo), too!
Snapping turtles are common where I live and on base in Lejeune. See them walking near the creek that’s on my land. They kinda strut like a bulldog with a shell.
I was PTing on the trails in Stone Bay (rifle range) once and came upon a rather large one. Fukker had been struck by a bullet at some point which drilled him clean through. It was well healed on both sides and evidently didn’t cause him any permanent disability. Tough sumbitch for sure.
I bet it swims and travels much faster and more comfortably than the old Gama Goat!
We had 3 Gamma goats assigned to us at Ft Wainwright.
They never ran in the two years I was upo there and the only time anyone ever saw one was when we were on motor pool guard duty.
They never did run, I saw one this weekend at Ft Hood as I took my youngest daughter to see her sister’s duty station and I told her about the damn things.
Some auto manufacturer made a fortune on them and we all got screwed…
Ex-PH2, you say it can carry ten personnel? What size are those “action figures” you are speaking of? Maybe the 3″ G.I. Joes of the 1980’s but surely not the 12″ originals!
Chess pieces sized.