Michael Cipriani; busted phony at BWI (UPDATED)

| March 1, 2015

Michael Cipriani

Our friends at Guardian of Valor tell the tale of Michael Cipriani who claims that he’s a First Lieutenant, but his uniform is silly. His unit patch is an EOD brassard, his combat patch is a Special Forces patch with a Ranger tab and a Special Forces tab (no Airborne tab) over it. When the camera operator asks him for ID, the LT shows him a driver’s license.

GoV says that the Army has no record of him. AKO lists 12 Ciprianis, none of them named Michael, none of them are Special Forces or Engineers. The one 1LT (Jesse Allen) is Transportation Corps.

Michael Cipriani1

UPDATE: This story has taken a bizarre turn. According to the folks at Guardian of Valor, Michael Cipriani in the video was actually Kelsey Cipriani, his sister, who was making a movie using her brother’s driver license. I’m not sure that I believe that. It sounds like a complicated way to get Michael out of becoming Stolen Valor famous.

Category: Phony soldiers

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Mustang1LT

All I have is:

“This Motherfucker…”

Ex-344MP

I can only imagine your feelings. Not only is he a turd, but he’s a turd dis-honoring the Officer Corps.

Asshat.

Ex-PH2

Idiot.

Fella, find a new gig. This one doesnt work for you.

Eggs

A poser at BWI, of all places. I’ve caught and gotten off a couple of rotators there.

Green Thumb

I can only assume he was catching a flight to Merritt Island, Fl.

OldSargeUSAR

Could be headed for Bartlesville, Okla to exchange diapers with William “Bill” Blake.

Ex-PH2

Showed his driver’s license as ID. Check.

Wore an EOD patch? I wonder if he knows what those letters mean. Extra Obvious Dumbass, in his case.

Mike Kozlowski

It’s like they’re not even trying anymore.

Mike

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

Difficult to even try when you are the village idiot.

Note: At this time I wish to apologize to all village idiots, my comments above in no way were intended to offend any village idiot who tends to their respective assigned daily duties and does no harm. The aforementioned individual is a fully qualified, unrepentant, drooling, bed-wetting, fraud advancing MORON of biblical proportions!

Mike Kozlowski

MCPO NYC USN Ret.,

Oh, NOW you’ve done it. The Moron-American community will be all over you for comparing them with this guy. 😀

Mike

The Other Whitey

$10 says he’s VWPutz’s brother-cousin-uncle-nephew. He’s dumb enough.

Tom Stiefermann

If these jackoffs would only do a little research…

Andy11M

they do, just very badly. They saw a uniform once in “The Hurt Locker” and just went from memory.

A Proud Infidel®™

Another booger-eating bedwetting Smurf-kissing unicorn-lusting scrotum-sniffing Sparkle Pony shit-for-brains that thought he could pass. God have mercy (if he sees fit to) on any poser I come across face-to-face, BECAUSE I WON’T!! I won’t lift a finger to harm him/her/it, but I’ll embarrass the shit, piss, and snot out in front of it in front of God and everybody!

Wrench Monkey

BWI? I’d put money on him being an escapee from Ft. Leesure who made a stop at Clothing and Sales before heading to the airport. Bet he has a fruit salad in his carry-on bag.

Hondo

There is no shame in being a civilian. The military is not for everyone.

There is no shame in being a peacetime soldier. One may serve when their nation is not at war.

There is no shame in serving outside a combat zone when the nation is at war. Soldiers often don’t get to pick their assignments.

There is no shame in having a “rear area” assignment in a combat zone. Someone has to do those functions, lest the war effort fail.

There is no shame in being a not-very-bright individual. Not everyone is born with a high level of intelligence.

However, there is shame in being a Lying Sack of Sh!t (LSoS). That’s true no matter how smart you are, or whether you’re military or civilian.

This . . . individual has very good reason to feel shame.

Deron

Well said, there is no shame in being a Peace Time Warrior. I guess I will never understand the logic behind their actions. Hopefully one day they will realize that just being “You” is better than being something you never were.

Grimmy

“There is no shame in being a peacetime soldier.”

There sure as hell can be shame in peace time soldiering!

This one time, in Japan, I got so drunk that I fell into a road-side binjo ditch and passed out.

That was fair shameful.

Friend S. Wilkins

Michael Cipriani looks just like that effeminate kid, Pajama Boy, in the Obamacare ad. I’m going to try to find that picture so I can post the link for you all to see….. 😀

http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2013/12/opinion-rich-lowry-obamacare-affordable-care-act-pajama-boy-an-insufferable-man-child-101304.html#.VPNeESwRR74

CLAW131

To me they are both clones of Leonard Hofstadter of TBBT.

Another LSoS attempting to get discounts at the airport Starbucks or trying to get an upgrade to first class on the bird.

But impersonating a commissioned officer? How did he get through the TSA cavity search without revealing his true identity? Did he change into the uniform after completing a foot tapping session in the airport latrine? So many unanswered questions.

Friend S. Wilkins

That is a good question. How he/she got past the TSA Special Agents is anyone’s guess. If you ask me, the disgraced ex-Senator, Larry Craig, must have supplied Cipriani with the uniform after conducting some “official business” in the Men’s Room. 😀

CLAW131

Those are good questions.
I’m just like Judge Judy. I only ask good questions.
That’s why Jonn allows me to comment here.

I also follow Judge Judy’s philosophy of: “You don’t get compensated for being stupid”.

Friend S. Wilkins

I’m getting the feeling I disrespected you in some way. If I did, I apologize. Sincerely.

CLAW131

Friend, No Sir. You did not disrespect me. I did not take it that way in any way shape or form.

That’s just my dry sense of humor coming through.

We’re all good here.

Enjoyed chatting with you. It’s too bad that sometimes just typing words onto a page can’t convey the actual tone of voice/joking manner in which the words are intended.

Friend S. Wilkins

I understand. Hmmm. Even now, I’m struggling with this reply. I must have typed and retyped, deleted, trying to measure every word’s impact. Oh, hell, I’m just going to go ahead and post this comment before I drive myself nuts! 😀

CLAW131

I see now where I might have erred. My Judge Judy compensation remark was not aimed at you, Friend. It was directed towards the LSoS faux 1LT, the subject of this post.

Are we OK? Sure hope so, as I do not wish to offend anyone either.

Friend S. Wilkins

No, you’re OK. No worries. I’m just about out of time for today. Good talking to you.

Richard

TSA verifies that the person matches their ID and their boarding pass. They don’t care if the individual is a boob playing dress-up so long as the boob’s ID matches their face and they are supposed to fly from this airport today.

I haven’t traveled on orders in some time so I don’t know how that works anymore – anyone?

I have heard all kind of stores about flying to war these days – personal weapons in the overheads was that one that made me snicker. Do the flight attendants have to modify the little play at the beginning? “in the event of an emergency evacuation, you should leave your carry on baggage but you should probably take those weapons with you …”

A Proud Infidel®™

That voice he talks in, GOOD GRIEF, he sounds like Urkel on helium!! He’s effeminate enough to make “Pajama Boy” look like Matt Damon!

USMCE8Ret

Did anyone else notice in the video how he started to look away and occupy himself with his phone, acting all jittery, when the guy started making the tough observations?

CLAW131

Maybe he was getting a call from his Sergeant Major, much like Sean Yetiman got a call while he was cruising the mall looking for discounts.

C2Show

My coworker and I were watching this at work yesterday. This kid got a lot of nerve. He eats up the “Thank you for your service” and then says “You shouldn’t” tear him apart. He was arrogant.

C2Show

Kinda wish the video continued and the guy called him out. He was trying to get on a plane first. Pretty stupid pathetic way of using the uniform. This kid should have been lit up. This is SV at its worse. I bet this dumbass kid is gonna try it again.

The Other Whitey

One of the guys on my crew showed me this video the other day. Retard, turd, idiot, asswipe, moron, and shitweasel combined don’t do this loser justice.

A Proud Infidel®™

OK, I finally watched the video, that is one glittery little metrosexual glitter-farting tinsel mouse of a Smurf-lusting snowflake/ Sparkle Pony! DAMN, I would have enjoyed cussing on him like a PO’ed Drill Sergeant just to see how quickly I could make him bawl for mercy in front of God and everyone!!

JarHead Pat

How in fuck did that bucket of hadji cum get through security, wouldn’t someone have asked to see his CAC?

OldSarge57

New regulations state traveling in ACU’s are unauthorized unless you are under orders to/from an overseas deployment area. NO travel within CONUS. You can wear your oh – so – lovely ASU’s, though. With all this posing going on and the global security threat, I don’t think any real military person would take offense getting “carded”. Personally, I always show mine whenever I am offered a “perk” for my service.

Ex-344MP

I think you were supposed to turn the CAC cards in when you leave the service, no one asked for mine back. I kept it for just such occasions, not to mention it makes a great 2nd I’d card.

C2Show

Funny, my co-worker here said the same thing about wearing uniform and security threat. We always wondered why anyone wanna travel in uniform these days. I almost had the unfortunate pleasure of doing it at Maxwell AFB in ABUs. Decided to change once class ended and I got to airport. Little did I know I should have kept it on because I got called into work as soon as I got off the plane.

Pink Smoke

The government isn’t going to stop posers. Unless someone is walking around with a MoH hanging from his neck that they didn’t earn, it takes forever to even get a poser investigation going. The only way to fight posers is to publicly confront them. There is satisfaction in doing that!

AdamsSamoa

looks like the kid is wearing Army issue glasses… my money is a dumb ass is a kid out of IET that stopped by clothing sales on the way home USAR or NG..

MK75Gunner

@AdamsSamoa, Hmmm, he showed him a drivers license instead of a CAC…..end of story.

C2Show

Yeah this kid has no clue about the military. It is pretty clear, especially after the ROTC comments.

AdamsSamoa

no… He was a PVT… knew his CAC card said PVT… just some Dumd ass PVT..

Wrench Monkey

My thoughts exactly. IET/AIT. Gonna impress the folks back home.

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

“Holy Evolving Sex Identity and Advancing Transgendered Political Issues Batman … what now”, asked Robin!

WHAM!

POW!

KAZAM!

Hondo

Well, that was unexpected.

Ex-PH2

Huh?

MrBill

If I’m reading all of this correctly (here and at GOV), the Michael on the driver’s license and the Facebook page looks just like the person in the video. Has “sister Kelsie” provided a verified picture of herself, and if so, does she look enough like her brother that she could have plausibly passed for him?

MrBill

Since you’ve seen it, Jonn, what’s your opinion? Does she resemble the person in the video?

MrBill

Who’da thunk? Sometimes weird-sounding stories turn out to be true.

Hondo

Yeah, they do.

When I was deployed, at one installation there was an individual who was apparently female and always dressed in tight, somewhat provocative clothing.

Trouble was, her Adam’s apple was more prominent than most men’s. And her hands looked like a carpenter’s or bricklayers. Rumor was that the individual was funding a transition by working as a contractor in a combat zone.

Dunno if that was true or not. But it could indeed have been a case of real-life “dude looks like a lady”.

SJ

Was this filmed inside the secure zone of BWI? If so, he/she might have a TSA issue also.

Instinct

Not buying the “It’s my sister” thing for one simple reason – body proportions. The length of his upper arms, shoulders and where the waist is in relation to where his elbows are all say MALE.

Plus, the stronger brow and sharper definition around the jaw line are also distinctly male attributes.

So, not only is he a stolen valor jackass he is also trying to hide behind his sister. What a turd.

Eden

Is “she” possibly a tranny?

Instinct

Nope, can’t change body proportions by playing dress up.

A man’s elbows will be at the bottom of his ribcage, a woman’s will reach her waist. Reason is that men have a longer torso than women and women have longer legs than men (proportionally that is). Women’s hip bones are also wider than a mans.

It’s a dude.

Bobo

Still no Kelsey Cipriani in AKO, and, it would now seem possible that Kelsey gave a false ID to the TSA.

GDContractor

Not only that, she says she is a film student at Baylor University in Waco, Texas and they are shooting a film on a shoestring budget. Okay, then why the fuck are you at BWI? Doesn’t add up.