Stolen Valor Semi-Finals

Greetings from Appleton Wisconsin, where I am about to go to the air show.

John Giduck

John Giduck is a walking shovel-ready project manager for defense attorneys. He originally filed suit because they disparaged his book, “Terror at Beslan”. The problem is, the book says the Author, our boy Giduck, is a Special Forces trained super soldier with time in the Spetsnaz as well, who was in Beslan when the school shootings went on. Turns out he has 50 some odd days in the military before being invited to seek other occupational opportunities, and he was cuddled up to a teddy bear when Beslan was going down. Even his own book now has a disclaimer that essentially says “Yeah, all the shit in here is wrong, it was my publishers fault.”

There’s so much crazy shit with this dude, it’s best to just peruse Truth About Socnet Lies that’s the recipient of some of Giduck’s money by way of the judicial process and a redonkulous defamation suit.

Shane Ladner

Ladner’s fake military career started before he even finished taking his SATs in High School when he was allegedly earning a purple heart during street to street fighting in panama.  He was apparently armed only with a #2 pencil and a bullshit story, because the army has no record of his participation.  But, somehow he pencil whipped himself up a Purple Heart, and a trip to Iraq.  These two things resulted in him getting invited to a parade and charity hunt down in Texas, where he and his wife got hit by a train riding on the float.  She lost her leg, he lost any credibility that he once had.  The police department fired him, and sued him based on the Purple Heart plates he had.  Undeterred  Ladner created a new story as a coca fighting renegade in Central America.  This one was better, but still not good.  His poor lawyer is running around looking for records from a non-existent medical facility that will show that Shane got shot at some point.  And meanwhile his wife is still missing her leg.  He’s gone to ground mostly for now, but like Punxsatawney Phil he emerges every couple of months to see his shadow, proclaim the records will be found, and then leaving it up to his lawyer to explain it.

Chelle Tesla

 

It’s hard to know exactly where to start on this dim bulb. At one point she was a major in the Civil Air Patrol in Virginia and assigned to HQ, VA Wing as Director of Aerospace Education. She got that job because she represented herself as combat-wounded Army Aviation Captain, and a UH-60 Blackhawk pilot.  Her records say she was a PFC Air Traffic Controller, and who you going to believe?  This piece of work here, or your lying eyes?  She claims that she earned a Purple Heart when her Blackhawk was shot down in Iraq and, of course, because of that incident she claims she suffers from TBI and PTS. but, as her records show, she’s never been to Iraq.   She was kind enough to go on TV which allowed Jonn to meet the hot reporter lady, but that doesn’t mitigate all her crimes.   There’s also some weird shit involving a military husband, but honestly I couldn’t quit figure out what they were talking about.

Phil Monkress

Star of the drunk driving court system and hero to fake SEALs everywhere, Monkress’ name should be known to you by now.  Owner of All Points Logistics, this go-getter drummed up millions of dollars in tax money by hawking his military and American Indian owned company.  He claimed in numerous promotional and training documents to have been a member of SEAL Team IV.  He even talked in a video about how he had to tell his Dad that he was joining the SEALs.   When that all failed and Lilyea called him out on it, he dressed himself like the Indian dude in Predator and stood on the log waiting to save everyone.  Or, maybe he just called up his lawyers and minions and sic’d them on us.  Since the day we called him out we’ve had nothing but trouble, which presumably is meant to scare us off.  It’s not working.  Hell, I’ve even got a nice letter into the Boeing Ethics Officer on some of Monkresses problems.  Kind of hard to claim that you never lied about being a Navy SEAL when we have you on video tape doing it, introduced by an employee of Boeing stressing the point.  Oh, and by the way, he’s 3/128 Cherokee, which is roughly as much as my puggle.

 

So, who will be out last two in the 2013 Stolen Valor Tournament?  You decide, I report.  For more info:

John “Attorney’s fees” Giduck

Shane “High School to Panama” Ladner

Chelle Lynne “ATC/CNO/CAP” Anderson-Tesla

Phillip Dale “Monkeyass” Monkress

Category: Politics