Popeye Imanutjob’s Navy Plans a Caribbean Cruise
Iran says could deploy navy near U.S. coast
Iran raised the prospect on Tuesday of sending military ships close to the United States’ Atlantic coast, in what would be a major escalation of tensions between the long-standing adversaries.
“Like the arrogant powers that are present near our marine borders, we will also have a powerful presence close to American marine borders,” the head of the Navy, Rear Admiral Habibollah Sayyari said, according to the official IRNA news agency.
Strategically the idea does have merit, from an Iranian point of view, however I can’t find any mention of their logistical capabilities. That kind of forward projection takes a LOT of support. They are pals with Hugo Chavez so that makes Venezuela a likely port of call.
Which leads to the image of Iranian sailors on liberty call in one of Venezuela’s ports. Do they get drunk and chase women? Do they get drunk and chase goats? It’d have to be a culture shock for both sides.
Category: Geezer Alert!, Navy, Politics
I say invite them over, the US Navy could fix the problem pretty darn quickly.
Would be a ballsey move on the part of the IRGC-N, but their naval order of battle consists of missile and torpedo boats.
It’d be like trying to cruise the Carib in the SS Minnow.
Actually, the Iranians have 3 Kilo class subs, a couple of frigates and a few support ships that could be ocean capable.
I’m sure the Iranian Navy would send a few mullahs along with the boys, to make sure that rum didn’t cross their lips and they didn’t have anything to do with the women. The Venezuelans still are, after all, infidels. However,Hugo better lock up the goats.
I think we ought to suspend, perhaps, Iranian naval flotillas for two years and just tell them we won’t hold it against them, whatever decisions they make, to just let them help Venezuelan goats’ sex lives recover. I really hope that someone can agree with me on that.
I wouldn’t be worried about our navy, so much as our shipping. Would our navy get the job of sheepdogging our merchant ships so they didn’t get harassed once they hit international waters?
If Iranian ships start to harass US flagged ships (of which there are few) he’ll get crushed with sanctions and liekly have their vessels intercepted by the US and Canadian Navies. If they start to actually interdict US vessels it’ll only end in the Iranians losing what little Navy they’ve managed to assemble these 30 odd past years.
Ug-ug-ug-ugh!
So, what do you do with a drunken (Iranian) sailor?
(1) Put him in a goat-pen til he’s sober
(2) Shave his beard and then hot-wire him
(3) Put him in bed with the mullah’s daughter
(4) Put him in the scuppers with a hawse-pipe on him
Too much? 😉
How much you want to bet a VA class will have a firing solution on them the whole time they are anywhere NEAR the western Hemisphere?
Their largest “warship” is around 1500 tons. A couple of Burke class destroyers would be more than enough, though I’d love to see a CV go blowing by them at 30+
It’s interesting how much play this story is getting, since Iran simply isn’t capable of blue water operations, never mind conducting them off the shore of a semi-unfriendly coast. All they need is a mechanical failure anywhere north of FL and we’ll have great video of them being towed into port by ships flying the biggest US flags they have.
They get drunk and chase little boys.
Load up some 155 PIG GUTS shells and splatter that on their decks…
Yeah, I know it’s evil… And??
Since Ahmadinnerjacket’s Navy has so little strength, I agree with Phil above that this story is getting way to much coverage. Dislike them, ok, but worry about them? Not so much. And yes, seeing one of them being “rescued” would make excellent fodder for our side. Some enterprising SeaTow operator could make a killing scrapping out the boat when the Iraniacs can’t come up with the towing fees.
I don’t think they have goats in Venezuela…Which should result in a pretty rotten night for some poor llamas.
Time to break out my 17′ Boston Whaler and my 30-06 and go play some…
I think it would be a wonderful opportunity to take some nice pictures of their ships in a periscope crosshairs. You know…Before and After shots.
If the Iranian navy pulled any shit off our east coast it would go down faster than a $5 crack whore.