Smell like Patton
I’m more than sure that General George S. Patton would be offended if he knew that the Army was marketing a cologne under his name and visage, although I’m sure he’d approve that a portion of the purchase price goes to help veterans;
Um, it’s for the vets? It’s advertised as donating “a percentage” of its proceeds to the VA and the services. What does that mean?
The other services are in on this too, with “The American Line” by Parfumologie. On the office schwag table, we have Air Force’s “Stealth,” which smells inappropriately earthy. The Marines’ “Devil Dog” just made our nostrils burn.
Patton we don’t have, but the name conjures the smell of an old leather satchel, North Africa, the inside of a World War I tank, and beatings.
So, if you’re slapping all of the sissy cowards around you and no one is paying you any attention, this might get you the media coverage you deserve. If you’re warning about the Russians, and no one is misquoting you, get some Patton cologne. It may give you out-of-body experiences during past wars and cause you to write really bad poetry.
Amazon is selling it 3 1/2 ounces for 26 smackers.
Thanks to Old Trooper.
Category: Military issues
Ok, read this descrip:
“This is a great cologne. Not only is the message behind it worthwhile (a portion of the profits are donated to veteran’s organizations), but the smell is great. It has a backwoods, masculine scent that evokes memories of LandNav courses and ruck marches (if you could add a hint of cordite, it’d be right on the spot).”
Now whenever *I* think of LandNav and Rucks, I think of a dank, wet canvas smell that reminds me also of jeeps and GP Mediums. Not exactly something that’s going to attract ATTRACTIVE members of the opposite sex (however YMMVC).
Maybe Dan Choi wears it instead?
I might get some of that there Air Force “Stealth”, so they can’t see me coming?
I see there’s a Navy version called “Liberty”. I’m guessing is smells like rotting tropical vegetation, stale beer, and Pattaya Beach trannies…
Actually, there’s a submariner version called, “Bubblehead,” that smells like diesel fuel, amine, stale socks, cigarette smoke, and funky ass.
So, what’s it made of? A pint of horse sweat and the primer powder from a HEAT round?
#5:
Heeheeheehee 🙂