Veteran’s Day and the Applebee’s Commandos – The Battle Plan
The Applebee’s Offensive: Veterans Day’s Greatest Battle
Every November 11th, America’s chain restaurants become a battlefield where two forces collide: actual veterans executing “Operation Free Lunch” and the mysterious soldiers who only seem to exist on Veterans Day.
Meet Staff Sergeant Mike “The Stomach” Peterson, leader of the Applebee’s Commandos – six veterans who’ve mapped out a tactical strike on seven restaurants before sundown. Their mission: extract maximum value from Veterans Day promotions using military precision and industrial-strength antacids.
“We hit Denny’s at 0700, IHOP at 1000, Applebee’s at noon,” Mike explains, adjusting his authentic Vietnam Veteran cap. “It’s all about tactical spacing and stretchy pants.”
But this year, they face unusual opposition. At the Olive Garden, they encounter Brad, wearing a Navy SEAL hat he bought on Amazon, telling the hostess about his “classified missions in countries he can’t name.” His uniform looks like it came from a Halloween store. The ribbons are upside down. He’s wearing both Army and Marine Corps insignia. Somehow, he claims to have served in three different branches simultaneously.
“Every Veterans Day, these guys multiply like gremlins,” mutters Janet “The Tank” Morrison, Mike’s second-in-command. “Yesterday this dude was Brad the accountant. Today he’s a war hero who single-handedly saved Fallujah.”
The fake soldiers are easy to spot. They’re the ones loudly explaining their “service” to anyone within earshot, using military jargon they learned from Call of Duty. One claims he was a “special forces sniper pilot.” Another insists he can’t discuss his rank because it’s “still classified.”
Linda, an Applebee’s server, has developed a sixth sense for spotting them. “Real vets show an ID and say thanks. The fake ones give you a 20-minute story about their Purple Heart from a training exercise in Ohio.”
The Commandos have their own way of handling the imposters. When Brad starts telling the waitress about his “confirmed kills,” Mike loudly asks him about his MOS, his unit, where he did basic training. Brad suddenly remembers an urgent appointment.
“The worst part isn’t even the stolen free meals,” Mike says, working through his third free entrée of the day. “It’s that these clowns make it harder for real vets. Some places now scrutinize everyone because Craig from accounting decided to cosplay as a Marine for free mozzarella sticks.”
As the sun sets on another Veterans Day, the Commandos complete their mission despite the infiltrators. Seven restaurants, zero dollars spent, one bottle of Pepto-Bismol depleted.
“Let the fake soldiers have their one day,” Mike shrugs, loosening his belt. “We earned these free meals. They’re just earning a reputation as the guy who pretended to storm Normandy for 20% off at Outback.”
Meanwhile, Brad has already returned his tactical vest to Amazon and is googling “how to fake a pilot’s license” for the airline lounge access.
Disclaimer: This is satire. We thank real veterans for their service. Also, stolen valor isn’t just embarrassing – it’s illegal. And please tip your servers – we’ll be here all week.
Category: Stolen Valor
I don’t go out anymore like I used to with Vet Neighbor friends.
The Corrall always had guys with buckets out for donations and I showed them my 214 on one side and ARNG on the other side of the laminated miniature card and threw a five spot into the bucket
Is that a homeless Vet peering through the window?
Local woman was selling buddy poppies on the post office
steps the other day. In the rain. She’s there twice a year
and I always “buy” a bright new poppy for the truck mirror.
Something learned from my dad.
Hope everyone is happy, safe and glad to be home.
Be afraid.
No Purple Heart? Pffft…
Is that a shock collar?
I hate to say this, but he might be legit.
Navy Aircrewman & Enlisted Aviation Warfare badges
Master Chief of the Command Badge…okay so far.
Spot checking his ribbon rack by row since we are enjoying the holiday and its cold outside (54 for Florida is cold).
1-Meritorious Service, Air Ribbon Medal
2-Joint Service Commendation, Navy USMC Commendation, Navy USMC Achievement
3-Navy USMC Combat Action, Navy USMC Presidential Unit Citation, Navy Unit Commendation
4-Navy Meritorious Unit, Distinguished Flying Ribbon (out of order), Navy Battle E
5-Good Conduct, Navy Expeditionary, NDSM
6-Armed Forces Expeditionary, Vietnam Service, SW Asia Service Ribbon
7-Kosovo campaign, GWOT, Armed Forces Service
8-Humanitarian Service, Outstanding Volunteer, Sea Service Deployment
9-Vietnam Civil Action 1C, ???, RVN Gallantry Cross Unit
10-NATO Kosovo, RVN Campaign, Kuwait Liberation Saudi Arabia,
11-Kuwait Liberation Kuwait, Navy Rifleman, Navy Pistol
You guys want to spot check me. He would served during Vietnam through Kosovo, so say 1968-1998? That would make around 75, so again not impossible. A 30-year Chief in an aviation rate. He saw some action, but no PH’s, Silver and/or Bronze Stars that all the phonies love to wear. No POW Medal which another must-have in the phony bling display. I only saw one out order of precedence, and one 1 could not identify. I used the below sight, so maybe the order has changed or I ID’ed the wrong ribbon. Me, all I had was a Good Conduct Medal, and Sea Service Ribbon 1-star.
Shoulder flag is backwards?
Well, it’s going forward…
I think that’s on purpose. The flags worn on the right sleeve of the uniform today are reversed so that they give the appearance of moving forward.
He’s reportedly a retired AO Senior Chief, and the awards are legit.
If he is an AOCS, then he probably was P-3 aircrew, right?
Am freezing with temp at 63 in W. Delray Beach. and people are running around in tees and shorts
If he served 68 – 98, he should not be wearing two 3/8 Bronze Service Stars on the NDSM.
That time frame covers only Viet of the Nam and Desert Storm, and not the War on Terror (that started in 2001) that ended not long ago.
One slight correction:
Should have said “3/16” Bronze Service Stars, not 3/8 BSS.
Mea Culpa
This is what I found on a quick search, because I wasn’t sure. I have 2 on my records and I never served in Vietnam. I served during the last two award time frames. IF, he was in Vietnam prior to 1974, and was still in for the GWOT, he should actually have 3.
The National Defense Service Medal (NDSM) is awarded for honorable active duty during four specific periods: June 27, 1950–July 27, 1954 (Korean War); January 1, 1961–August 14, 1974 (Vietnam War); August 2, 1990–November 30, 1995 (Gulf War); and September 11, 2001–December 31, 2022 (Global War on Terrorism).
Please understand that I’m not vouching for him. I don’t know him or anything about him, but what he is wearing is not really a stretch into the unbelievable. Highest decorations are an MSM and AM. He has the Armed Forces Reserve Medal, so if he spent 30(+) years in the Navy Reserve, it seems plausible.
Again, I know nothing about him or his story. I simply making an opinion judging by the picture.
“IF, he was in Vietnam prior to 1974, and was still in for the GWOT, he should actually have 3.”
He does have three; one ribbon plus two stars equal three.
I doubt he was in the Reserves as he is not wearing a Navy Reserve Meritorious Service medal.
“He would served during Vietnam through Kosovo, so say 1968-1998?”
That makes the GWOT bogus.
Plus, no Bronze Service Stars on his Viet of the Nam Service Ribbon, so he must have only been around the area for less than six months. Which means he is also not authorized to be wearing the Viet of the Nam Campaign Ribbon.
I’m just guessing on his dates of service, and I tried to recreate his ribbon rack in order of precedence. It seems 11 rows is WAY TOO much fruit salad, but it is possible. I didn’t serve long enough to have that kind of hardware, so maybe over the years the order can get somewhat askew. Either way its just an exercise to pass the time on a Tuesday. My fruit salad below.
Mine are the NDSM and AFEM ribbons
When I was going through Great Mistakes in 1980, I met a Senior Chief who had ribbons that almost curved over the shoulder of his shirt. I’m surprised he wasn’t listing to port!
I don’t think that’s the DFC
And, dog tags and a neck knife to boot. What was the naval battle in which this steely-eyed sea warrior was engaged? I don’t seem to recall any in the 1968 to 1998 time frame.
Unfortunately, I know a guy like the above depicted characters. While he never claimed to be “special forces sniper pilot” or any such nonsense, he did try to squeeze in as many free meals as possible. He also took advantage of as many free Thanksgiving meals offered by the local churches as he possibly could. If the meal was free, he was all over it like a rat on cheese. The infuriating part to me as well as fellow coworkers, is he made as much as we did, so we knew he could afford to buy his own meals, or make donations to help defray the costs at the different churches or charities he was, IMO, basically stealing from.
We called him special Ed for a reason, and not meant to be taken as pity.
He eats like a horse named Mr. Ed
I stay home any more. It’s not that I CAN’T go out in crowds, it’s that I CHOOSE to stay home in the quiet of my domicile rather than fight the crowds. It’s nice and all, but……..no.
It’s too fookin’ peopley out there!
My son gave me crap when I had to go to Lowes, Grocery and 5Below because tween daughter wanted a poster of something for her room. I was like “Fuck People, Fuck everything, everything’s a threat and everyone but me are assholes…..(and you kids)”. My son didn’t appreciate my embracing my diagnosis and chronology. I mean, I wasn’t WRONG. One day, sadely, he’ll understand. 😀 🙁
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll go to peopley places. It just depends on the place and the people it attracts.
Did Texas Roadhouse on Veteran’s Day once.
Once.
Now I stay away from those restaurants that offer freebies for veterans on Veteran’s Day due to the crowding but also due to the phonies polluting up the place. I can afford to skip a free meal for the sake of my blood pressure.
I did go to Mission BBQ yesterday since they offered me a free dessert for the Marine Corps’ Birthday. I guess they were feeling especially generous – I ended up with two.
The places that offer just a special menu with a minor discount wind up with reasonable attendance and a blessed lack of phonies.
I do not go for the freebie for many of the reasons stated here.
I would like some poor E-3 with a wife and a kid to get a free meal especially during times like these with the government shut down.
Our local Texas Roadhouse has a “E4 and below” parking spot right next to the handicapped spots. I like that.
One of my work buddies went to Denny’s for his free stuff. Went early, beat the crowd, had a great meal and great service. He said by the time he paid, the line was out the door and down the block.
Seems like vets go to the corrall, Applebees and other places on this day and then turns out to be a small world. My friend who in the Army Reserve did 2 tours in Viet-Nam awarded a Silver Star and Purple Heart and stayed in for the first Golf War. So we went to Applebees and while waiting online, WW2 vet comes in who every time he sees me in Publix or restaurants says, I fought on Okinawa when he sees my USS Okinawa cap, So I never asked him where he was from and this time I ask him and he says Boston and I tell my Friend Jerry who was from Boston and used to play cards with Whitey Bolgers crew when he was a teen to talk to the Vet and then Jerry tells me that the Vet worked in the same button factory as Jerry’s brother. Small world. Got a bad habit of making a short story long as all of you know by now. No I wont Mention “To Make A Long Story Short” Holy Moly, I just did. Later Alligator.
I always excuse my banter by saying… “Anyway, to make a short story long –“
No free food for me today. Went to Applebees the last few years but the long wait, even at 2PM made it not worth the trouble. Haven’t seen any instances of stolen meals, at least not that I could tell, but in my state vets get a designation on their driver’s license to it’s easy to check.
I did get a free car wash though.
It’s Veteran’s Day…I think I’ll start a new tradition. My evening snack will cost me about $5 from the Commissary and I got a bunch back in March.
Only thing I have to fight over is which one to choose from. I have about 10 or so and my Son particularly enjoys them as well.
They’re about 900-1,000 calories vice about 1,200-1,300 for a full MRE. I haven’t been to the Commissary in about 6 months but the website says MREs are running just about $16 each (DAYMN!!!) and the TOTMs are now up to $5.70 each. When I bought mine in the Spring, they were $4.95. meh. Worth it.
Never even heard of ’em before now. Good info to have, in case I ever run into them for sale at some place I’m shopping. Any particular ones to avoid? (i.e., “five fingers of death” LOL!)
Hey! That was a favorite! The dehydrated beef patty, aka “beef cookie” was eebil.
Trackpads! Loved those.
If you ate them dry and chased them with a canteen of water, they were ok.
Crumble up track pad in its pouch. Add crumbled crackers. Add seasoning. Stir and Hydrate. Top with cheese spread.
TOX, the NSN’s are:
8970-01-628-7262 (Wornick) and 8970-01-628-7264 (SOPAKCO)
The main menus are:
I looked for TOTMs on Amazon, but they appear to be female hygiene napkins.
We might go out later. The missus had to work today so I stayed nearby and played with motorcycles all day. I also painted the saddlebags on my HD Pan America “Military Enthusiast” edition to match the rest of the color scheme in honor of VD. Should say started painting them. It’s a three step process that take a day for each step.
I thought Trump was going to rename (again) Veterans Day some kind of victory day?
I tried the whole “free meal” thing once around 15 years ago. It was the first time I ever went to Chili’s, and I arrived as soon as they opened, made my choice from the limited menu that’s part of the promotion, drank a beer and ate, then tipped the full price of the meal. By the time I left maybe 30 minutes later, the place was already packed. I can’t remember, but I might have gone somewhere in Columbus when I was on the Trail. Don’t think so, though, as I’d probably remember the crowd.
Yesterday, my branch manager asked me if I was going to eat my “free meal”. I’m so caught up working, I didn’t even think about Veteran’s Day and thought he was referring to one of the meals the branch provides us every month or two. I’ve only ever taken one of those… eating something that’s been sitting out since noon when I get back after 2000 isn’t really appetizing.
Anyway, a short day for me: not even 10 hours. I got to shoot down to Franklin, LA for a couple of ATMs. Incidentally, I learned from a Have History Will Travel YouTube video that fellow Richmonder George Pickett (he of the infamous charge) was married in that town. I only had a Chik-fil-A, but a coworker who had an IHOP told me the line was wrapped around the building this morning.
I hope every has enjoyed today in their own ways, whether it’s eating out or quietly remembering.
Had a free dinner last night at Outback. Free smoothie from some smoothie place. (Oh yeah, Smoothie King.) Had a free lunch at Red Lobster. Picked up free vouchers for Texas Roadhouse and Freddy’s. On my way to dinner at Olive Garden. Will grab some to-go from Hawaiian Bros and maybe firehouse subs. Might get a free sundae from Culvers’ on way home. Hey, between me (35 years), my wife (8 years), and daughter (6 years), I figure we’ve done the time. Although, truthfully, I’m fine with one meal but my wife and daughter love planning the whole thing out—I’m along for the ride, and never ask for the free stuff. And i love seeing all the old, for real vets mixed in with the young for real vets.
Update. Scratch Firehouse, add Starbucks for the daughter (I’ve got my limits), and Dairy Queen.
The wife and I went to Outback on Veteran’s Day a couple of years ago. Would have gone back this year, but they closed our Outback. So, no freebee this year. Appleby’s was likely to crowded. We have a Golden Corral but ours is not one we would want to visit given our lack of a certain level of melanin and our last visit there many years ago.
“It’s that these clowns make it harder for real vets.”
My thoughts and prayers go out to those “real vets” who are finding it difficult to grift four or five free meals on a day better spent remembering the dead.
I kind of like the way the Brits, Aussies, etc. do it. They seem to take it a bit more seriously, but then they have reason to.
I’ve never been the Veteran’s Day/Memorial Day police but I remember my dead compatriots on Memorial Day. Today I think about all the wild stuff my veteran friends did over the years and commemorate they had the balls to serve where so many didn’t.
Interesting how the Brits purposely dip the Colors all the way to the ground. I must ask AI why.
AI says: “For sure not allowed in most countries, the British royal colour is lowered into the dust in front of the monarch (or, today, her deputy).”
To demonstrate humility?
My goal on Veteran’s Day is to eat at restaurants that do not offer free or discounted meals. It never felt right to me to accept a free meal for Veteran’s Day. And I especially did not want to put in the same crowd that abuses those restaurants on 11 Nov.
I am proud that I never went out for free meals anywhere. Not going to use the holiday to mooch free food when there are so many out there hitting the feeding trough already.
Yeah, same here Tank. I was always concerned that there were so many phonies out there taking advantage of the free meal and that I might be lumped in with them. I do use the “Military Discount” at ACE Hardware, Lowes and Home Depot though.
I don’t shop at Lowe’s, but my wife “suggested” I sign up for one of their cards so she could get the discount.
Happy wife, happy life, eh?
Couple of Days Late to the party but a dead on assessment of the Veterans freebie Day. I quit going a few years ago. My son and I went to the Veteran’s Day lunch at Colton’s right next to the work office. So close to work we the office ate there a lot. I knew the manager and he didn’t know both my son and I were Veterans and actually complained about the menu he was having to give away that day. I never went back.
The TV had a WW2 Veteran that didn’t look WW2 age eligible but who am I to judge. Reporter asked what he learned in the Navy – “well I had an old Chief when i reported aboard the ship tell me that son get up every morning and make your bunk so you can start the day off accomplishing something….I turned off the TV – sounded to much like the Seal speech famous by Admiral McRaven (potentially misspelled)