Dalton Coldiron – the Records

| August 9, 2013

Remember that “super soldier” Dalton Coldiron? That sensitive guy who loves little bunnies and shirtless photos (which show off his Ranger tattoo) featured here at TAH last week?

I decided to do a follow-up FOIA on him.  Lo and behold, I’m pleasantly surprised; NPRC turned the corner damned quickly. And no – I didn’t include a $20 bill with my FOIA request. (smile)

Seems Coldiron does have records at NPRC after all. On the second try NPRC was able to find them.  (Dunno why they couldn’t find them a couple of months ago for Scotty.)

I guess that means Coldiron technically did serve in the Army.  In fact, it seems Coldiron was in the Army for the grand total (presumably including both active and DEP time) of 46 days – from 18 July to 1 September 2011.  His duty status is listed on NPRC’s FOIA response as “uncharacterized”.

He was separated as a “Private” at Fort “Lost-in-the-Woods” (Leonard Wood), MO. I’m guessing it was an Entry Level Separation.

Coldiron’s records also say he left the Army with no awards, badges, or tabs – and no military education.  Nothing.  Zip.  Nada.  So according to his official records, any claims he’s making of being a “Ranger”, “SF”, “Airborne”, or even that he qualified Marksman with some assigned weapon would appear to be 100% bull.

Here’s what NPRC sent in response to my FOIA:

A PDF copy of NPRC’s complete reply, including redacted cover letter, can be downloaded here.

Looks to me like Coldiron here is just another wannabe who didn’t really have the guts to serve and managed to get out of his contract. Or maybe he’s just a fragile “special little snowflake” who couldn’t handle Basic Training.  But whichever it was, it doesn’t seem to have kept him from MSU (Making Sh!t Up) about his “military service”.

Category: Phony soldiers, Shitbags

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Valkyrie

Wait a minute here! ExHack said I was a special little snowflake. We can’t all be one.

ExHack

I did, Val. You are a special little snowflake, unique … just like all the other ones. Bwahahahahaha!

FMR PAO

Dude augered in at Basic at Ft. Leonard Wood? That’s just like being a Ranger. Hi speed, low drag there hero. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on?

Andy

@50, Smitty, just keep this guy in your back pocket until next years tourney, then nominate him yourself. There’s always that one poser that ticks you off more than the rest, and I guess you found him.

Green Thumb

Two-hole Ranger, indeed.

Smitty

Dalton is so cool. I went to his house and got my ass beat. I cannot believe he banged my sister all around town. Wish I was as cool as him.

Dalton

Hey guys I went to boot camp and graduated. I will be attending RIP soon. Told you guys I would make it!

Jonn Lilyea

Yeah, except that Army folks don’t go to “boot camp”. So, sure we believe you

O-4E

Not to mention it hasn’t been called RIP in about 10 years John

DaltonFutureRanger

Easy here is my class number c/1-19. I am currently serving honorably about to head to Ranger School. I am currently on a 72 hour pass living it up and walking around town in my Dress Blues. Whatever you don’t even know me. Your just jealous none of you could make it to Ranger school.

O-4E

1-19 is a BCT Battalion at Fort Sill.

You still have to go to AIT…and IF…you have an Option 40 contract you will then go to BAC followed by RASP. IF you were to somehow make it that far you would then be assigned to a Ranger Battalion and THEN attend Ranger School at a later date when your chain of command thinks you are ready.

Coming right out of BCT and AIT you don’t have enough skills or experience to last 1 day in Ranger School hoss.

Nice story. Wrong crowd to be trying to tell it in fuck face.

O-4E

RIP hasn’t been around in about 10 years now since RASP was started and subsumed RIP.

Little dated in your phoniness Dalton.

O-4E

Oh…and C/1-19 is currently in Week 5 of BCT

https://www.facebook.com/pages/C1-19-FA/140373475974940

You could fuck up a wet dream Dalton

ArmyATC

You’re a fucking liar, bunny fucker. We know you were kicked out of basic training.

Taron Lowe

Wow from what I heard you never made it through any part of the military you haven’t ever done anything but mooch off every female you can con. You stole and forged checks from your grandmother who completely takes care of you and did it not once but twice spending thousands. You abandoned your baby girl and can’t even keep a job. You haven’t done anything military since you got booted and got a tattoo on your arm which you run from everyone to keep it from getting cut off from what I hear wow!!

Smitty

As the main guy trying to get a hold of him to remove that tat, im always happy to see this guy still making rounds. Sadly, he is still hiding from me and pretending to be me. He claims RIP because I went to RIP. He claims iraq in 04, because that is where I was. I think he was 10 at the time. He doesn’t know anything except what my sister told him about me, so he tries to copy it. He is back at his stories from what I have been told, so im all game to make sure he regains his bunny loving fame

O-4E

28 “Coldiron”s in the DOD database

None of them named Dalton

You forget fuck face there are people here that can verify your BS

DaltonFutureRanger

Thats because you can’t spell. Why you so stupid?!?!?!

O-4E

What did I misspell fucknut?

O-4E

Turd

O-4E

Fucktard

Jonn Lilyea

Two days before you wrote that comment, you were in the hospital, so I don’t know how you graduated from Basic, nimnil

MrBill

Yup, no Dalton Coldiron in the DoD global address list, or in AKO.

Just an Old Dog

Good if you if you did, but proof would be nice, since you are a known poser

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

Really … “Boot Camp”.

Send us some more info …

Green Thumb

Maggot.

A Proud Infidel®™

You say you’ve graduated Boot Camp instead of Basic Training, but what about AIT and Airborne, you have to graduate those as well before you even get considered for RIP!

You lyin’-assed booger-eating bedwetter!!

Flagwaver

Wow… couldn’t pass **BCT** at Lost-in-the-Woods? That’s one step lower than saying Relaxin’ Jackson was too tough.

A Proud Infidel®™

Or “Fort Leisure”!

Jonn Lilyea

Must be getting close to tournament time.

Joe Williams

What is wrong with you Army types? walking around in his DRESS BLUES?So far Dolly has at least 2 references to the Marine Corps. Still in Mommy’s basement Dolly? Joe

O-4E

@Joe

The Army also has dress blues…aka the Army Service Uniform (ASU)

Which is the Army’s current dress uniform

Dalton

All you losers who speak slander of me.

nbcguy54

Hey. The tourney is over and you didn’t win. Thanks for playing and reviving an almost forgotten thread. Go away Mr. “46 & Out”.

That Guy

What a half-assed sentence. It bears a real resemblance to your military career. And your lies.

Exc-PH2

Okay, Dalton, you’re a moron. Is that a good start?

But using the word ‘moron’ is an insult to morons. How about this:

You are an addlepate, a churl, a sea-monkey, and a snipe.

You are baggage no sensible person wants to drag around.

You’re a pribbling, puking, puny, cockered, clapper-clawed, clay-brained, flap-mouthed, fly-bitten, mewling, paunchy, phlegm-flecked miscreant hedge-pig.

Happy now, dinkfinkle?

propsguy

Dinklefinkle? That is AWESOME!!! 😀

Redacted1775

46 days and discharged from friggin’ Fort Wood? Probably couldn’t handle one more run up car wash hill. Weaksauce.

Marine_7002

Uh, Dalton, hate to point this out, but you just wrote an “incomplete sentence.” Try coming back when you have a coherent thought in your head that you can translate into a rational, understandable sentence.

Ex-PH2

You left out ‘bunny sniffer’. I forgot to add it to my post above.

propsguy

That’s the third TAH “Zombie” in 24 hours. WTF, is this the Z-Apocalypse?

OK Let’s review

1) Aim for the head, you have to destroy the brain.
2) Kill the zombie and THEN set it on fire, if you set it on fire first all you have is a flaming zombie, this is bad.
3) Avoid restrooms.
4) Always check the back seat
5) Double tap (controlled pair) , it’s good to be sure.

Ex-PH2

I think I can make Coldiron one of the villains in a future book, like ‘Pirates of the Comet Cluster’ or ‘Durbinville Dragsters’.

Oh, yeah — for the Lemonheaded Dipsticks who try to find things out and abuse the good nature of those to did them, those are phony titles, you idiots. Search all you like. I’m right under your snot-laden snouts.

Green Thumb

Word has it that Commander Phil Monkress of All-Points Logistics has a pin-up of this maggot in his closet.

Just saying.