William Derek Church; the Round Ranger
I’ve been giggling like a little girl since I sent this guy to Mary a few weeks ago. He’s like “The Round Marine” and Paul Tillson rolled into one. But his name is William Derek Church (he goes by Derek Church) and these are pictures from his wedding, I guess. He’s on Facebook somewhere, but I can’t find him. You can tell he’s legit because he doesn’t care that his Ranger beret is dressed over the wrong eye, and he wears the full-sized Purple Heart on the wrong side of his uniform.
He’s a steely-eyed killer who can’t be bothered with details like getting his drawers tailored. Yes, that’s a Ranger scroll with no tab on left shoulder;
I almost didn’t bother to get his records, because he has 8TFU written all over him. but we got his records today. He spent about 18 months in the Natural Guard (don’t blame me, blame the NPRC) and over a month on active duty. But he made it to PFC.
And see how the Purple Heart is on the left of his other medals that he’s wearing wrong? Well, that’s because he remembered that the highest medals are supposed to go closest to your heart – but that only counts when you wear them on the left side of your uniform, dingus. It took me forever to disabuse privates of that notion when we got the Valorous Unit Citation to add to the Presidential Unit Citation. They kept trying to put the PUC to the left of the VUC. Privates suck, just ask this guy.
ADDED: Here’s his Facebook, by the way.
Added by Sporkmaster.
It seems that he has another friend who faking along side him, because he was “there”. Also I like how his friend threatens to send the 75th Ranger Battalion on people. As if.
Added by Sporkmaster
Also it seems that we are finding out more about him from his local community.
Category: Phony soldiers
The guy needs to seriously take off that purple heart.
Turd
He put up his fake William Chamberlin page again.
https://www.facebook.com/willchamberlin12?fref=pb&hc_location=friends_tab
Everyone should file a report on Will Chamberlain with Facebook as a Phony account, he will have to come up with another Phoney who will call him Sarge.. What a Piece of Shit you are Derek Church or William Derek Church or Will Chamberlain or William Chamberlain, BTW who the fuck did that stupid Bitch Marry!
Reading on Topix, it seems Derek the FATASS has a rep of being a Bully! We must have someone close by that can confront the Fat Piece of SHIT. The first time someone stands up to him he will shit his diaper. People are probably worried about the Ranger Training he said he has, well we all know thats BULLSHIT and so is HE. MAN I WISH I WERE CLOSER !!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4gAZKsL2CU
Starring Brock Lesnar as “DEREK CHURCH” and Clint Eastwood as a real Veteran !
@862 – you know he does that to maintain his “rep” or “street cred” as being a badassmofo. Probably still dealing with his bed-wetting issues as a 16 year old… or other “mommy/Daddy issues”.
WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH
Derek Church must be keeping close tabs on this blog. He already took down the phony William Chamberlin page.
@865… maybe it’s down because “Will Chamberlin” had an accident this weekend during “HALO quals” with WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH
Oh, the horror!!!! William Chamberlin, fake friend of William Derek Church, the Doughnut Destroying Round Ranger, has had his last “Spec Ops Challenge”!!!! The fraudulent obituary will run in next weeks edition of Stolen Valor Fakes, Frauds and Posers.
I wonder if Derek will wear his Dress Costume to the Funeral. He’ll probably be in charge of the Fake Funeral Detail.
After the phony funeral service for the fake Will Chamberlin, The Round Ranger William Derek Church can see the poser Gregory Charles Banks for fake grief counseling.
Will Chamberlain, gone before his time. The biggest impact he made was when he hit the ground in excess of 450 MPH. The surviving member of Milli Vanilli will perform at the memorial service, to be followed by a reception that will include servings of imitation crab meat, mock turtle soup, and toasted bread covered in I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
Who will be the first to set up a memorial page on Facebook for recently departed Will Chamberlain?
Not Me. Not Me is notorious for performing acts while remaining invisible to the untrained eye.
I wonder what William Derek Church the Round Ranger aka “Globbo the Clown” will pull next?
As much as I like making fun of this fat couple, Kiaya Church and Derek Church from Lenoir, NC and boosting the google hit parade, I want to do something more.
William Derek Church has not removed the pictures off his facebook or made an apology.
His fathers name is Gene Church from Lenoir, NC. Does anyone have his address? I think we should snail mail the contents of this thread to him, so that at least we can be assured that his family knows.
Who is up for it?
The reason why we care is because Derek Church from Lenoir, NChad the nerve to wear a Purple Heart Ribbon on a ill fitting uniform, when he HAS NEVER SEEN COMBAT.
This is the same purple heart that has been awarded to men of courage and valor. Men that paid their dues with their life. Men that now have no legs.
This fat pretender had the nerve to claim the valor of those that have paid the ultimate sacrifice, and those that are still sacrificing.
He has made no public apology and still has pictures on his facebook with him wear the rank of a SSG (He is not a NCO!) and wearing the 82nd Airborne patch.
We will not stop. We are fighting for the valor of those dead men and others who are True Warriors.
In conclusion, William Derek Church is the fattest bodied impostor I have seen. No self respecting Special Forces Soldier would get that damm obese.
#872, in conjunction with Ida Know?
Gene Church from Lenoir, NC is his dad. It would be nice to let his family know.
Looked up Eugene Church on whitepages.com, and **SHOCKER** his address is the same address as one Wiiliam D Church.
@878, why does that not surprise me, he has been unemployed since ’07, so it would stand to reason that a close relative would have to take this worthless shit head under their wing.
Hey, round ranger, how does it feel like for a grown man to have his mommy or daddy to still take care of them? I would think that you could put all your combat skillz and experiences to good use to make a better life for yourself, but instead, because you could not hack it in the Guard part time, then how the hell would you even make it in the real world, but since you went to EMT/Paramedic schools and yet you do not have a J-O-B as either, that should probably tell you that someone will have to take care of your worthless fat ass in till the day you die.
You William Dereck Church, are a world class worthless, pathetic LOSER, and I hope that you cross paths one day with a REAL RANGER while wearing that stupid clown suit that artificially inflates you LOSER ego and stomps the living shit out of you.
The nerve of this non-combat Private First Class to wear SSG Rank and a Purple Heart, while being 100 pounds overweight!
Here are some videos from kiaya beheler aka Kiaya Church, Derek Church’s wife on youtube.
Khttp://www.youtube.com/user/kiayabeheler/videos
Here are some videos from kiaya beheler aka Kiaya Church, Derek Church’s wife on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/user/kiayabeheler/videos
Here is kiaya beheler aka Kiaya Church, Derek Church’s wife posting videos on her myspace page
https://myspace.com/lilmrsb060708/videos
That is when she was married to SPC Christopher Beheler, who avoided a landmine by getting rid of that barnacle.
Here is her etsy account
https://www.etsy.com/people/kiayabeheler?ref=pr_profile
here is her pinterest page
http://www.pinterest.com/kiayabeheler/
Kiaya Church her old wedding photos on facebook from the marriage to SPC Beheler.
https://www.facebook.com/kiaya.l.beheler
William Derek Church, we are going NOWHERE!
You need to make an apology and delete the photos on facebook of you wearing SSG Rank and a Purple Heart!
Fraud and Poser!
I *Believe* Eugene Church’s contact info is on this page.
Maybe someone here can give him a call and let him know his son is famous!
http://www.blueridgeheritage.com/traditional-artist-directory/eugene-church
I just looked up his address and saw the google street view of the house.
Trash, weeds and broken down vehicles in the yard.
pathetic.
I was talking with a friend today about William Derek Church.
I told him about a morbidly obese National Guard Private without combat experience, claiming to be a Special Forces E-6/SSG, wounded in WAR.
He is none of those. It’s like playing dress-up with him .
I told my friend that he has nothing of value and is destitute. I was concerned that we had no methods to force an apology.
My friend said that “Well, if all he has is his name, then you are taking that from him.”
He also mentioned that Derek Church looked 100 pounds overweight.
ONLY 100 pounds overweight? William Derek Church the Round ranger is obviously the type that has plenty of Natural light beer and cigarettes at the first of the month and leeches off of charities and food banks for the next three weeks!
william derek church the rotund retard ranger is wearing a Purple Heart, the same Purple Heart that was posthumously awarded to several of my colleagues from MNF-I who were KIA in Jan 2007. william derek church is a scumbag who has stole valor from our Honored Dead and genuine war wounded. william derek church needs to be exposed to his local community and shunned by everyone who comes across him…
Contact made with the American Legion in Lenoir. I explained the situation and they will be checking the rosters to see if he is a member. I haven’t been able to find a local VFW in Lenoir or any contact info so if someone has that info feel free to post it up.
I will say the gentleman I spoke with at the legion got a pretty good laugh when I explained the situation to him.
WILLIAM DEREK CHURCH, you can crawl in your hole and think this is all going to go away, but I have news for you ! This is only the beginning !
Try Hudson and Granite Falls and I know Hickory has a VFW and a reserve center.
Oh and Hickory and Lenoir both have VA offices.
VFW info for Lenoir, NC.
Post 5381 Lee Powell Post
PO Box 1012
Lenoir, NC 28645-1012
United States
Phone: (828) 320-2842
Meeting Location & Time
4113 Hickory Nut Ridge Road
Hudson, NC 28638
United States
First, remind me never to piss you all off, haha.
Second, I looked up his shanty of a house last night also. Those ASUs he’s in were easily $300+, not even counting all the medals, racks, patches, and everything else he didn’t earn but was wearing. That’s a substantial chunk of change for someone living below the poverty level. These SV fucks will stop at nothing and evidently will spare no expense to perpetuate their lies. It’s sad that he spent all that money on uniforms (or costumes in his case) while his kids go hungry. Might want to get the state involved in this. Seems to me there is some serious child neglect going on here.
Local gossip is that he cashed in his state retirement from when he worked at the prison, his address is 3367 playmore beach and he does live just a few houses down from momma and daddy, but please be nice to his dad, hes a super sweet man whose worked hard his whole life, William has never respected him, his dad may not even know all this is going on, but his momma sure does, shes bailed him out of messes all his life. Just FYI the house he lives in was purchased by his ex wife when they were together, hes never paid a dime on it, she was so done with him she gave him the house and everything in it, just started over on her own with the children. Again, local gossip, plus your right he spent all that money on that dress up outfit and can’t provide for his sons medical needs. That is just so sad indeed Don’t give up boys cause i’ve also heard that he is shaking in his shorts wonderin whose out to get him and who aint. Hows it feel to be constantly looking over your shoulder? Keep the pressure on boys!!!!
Ok breaking info, just received a call back from the American Legion post. A review of member rosters all the way back to 2004 reveal no William Derek Church. So no chance of him spreading his BS at the Legion Post. I also have a call in to the DAV, but havent heard back. I figure he may have tried to BS his way into being a member of the DAV, but without a real Medical Discharge or Disability paperwork from the VA chances are he is not a member.
If I was William Derek Church, I would actually want to show up on this thread to find out what people know about me…
I wonder if he has shown up here since his postings.
@896 You can bet the farm he lurks here all the time.
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1
Got it!
@894 – justsayin
“… but his momma sure does, shes bailed him out of messes all his life.”
Sounds like mommy needs to learn about tough love, and stop enabling her idiot son.
True, he probably does lurk here since he has been deleting and restarting his facebook account again and again.
Topix got some pretty stupid people on there, someone saying “Stolen Valor” is fake.
Derek Church, you can hide and think this will go away but it won’t. Not here and not in Lenoir. I know you have seen the thread in the Lenoir paper about you because you posted on it. It is only getting longer. Maybe your mama has bailed you out all your life but she can’t bail you out of this. There is only one honorable route for you to take and it does not have to be explained to you again. So head on down to the “Darby Queen” as you wrote and order a double-double meat burger and two banana splits to wash it down. Got to keep your fightin’ weight up ya know.
William Derek Church William Derek Church William Derek Church William Derek Church William Derek Church William Derek Church William Derek Church William Derek Church William Derek Church
Well, I can see that dandan the fakey fake navyman and gweggy charlie ‘cody’ banks are definitely falling behind in this race.
I will have to contribute more to birdbath bernutsky’s thread to make sure that he catches up, and is bang up to the marker.
Meantime, church, you slob, you blog, you blubbery, beached elephant seal, sponging off your mommy will only last as long as she puts up with you. Maybe I should call her and have That Talk.
Just came back to this thread. Man, it is still going strong! Well, keep it up and let’s continue making William “Derrick” Church famos. Derrick as in crane so you can lift this Thicklet (Thanks Drill Sergeant Ransom)!
@902… Yes it appears Willy probably posted this on TOPIX
[QUOTE who=”hoof hearted”]Who cares? He ain’t “stealing”valor. Valor is made up anyway. Govt propaganda. Nobody gives a rats ass. So he lies, bfd. You push this obviously crazy Guy and ya might end up shot or something. Then you can get a real wound. You people are not fighting for your kind or valor, you are picking on a mentally disturbed individual. Just leave it be. Everyone knows he is fulla shit. Just leave it at that. [/QUOTE]
Now the fat fuck is threatening to shoot people,,,, really? Can that pig-eyed fuck even see through all the fat pushing his eyelids down?
PS “Hoof-hearted” is a good nickname for him, seeing the hiefer he took in.
Let’s keep the pressure up. I think someone needs to snail mail a letter to his parents.
He really has nothing we can use to force an apology.
No money, job or life.