William “Bill” Humphries; Marine Force Recon Phony
The folks at Military Phonies send us their work on this Bill Humphries fellow who really doesn’t understand how the military works, but that doesn’t stop from entertaining the civvies with his fairy tales. For example, this gem;
Bill attended The University of Georgia became a member of The Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity, eventually president and joined R.O.T.C. where he earned his Army Rangrer Tab within his first year which had never been done at The University of Georgia.
The reason it had never been done is because the only ROTC cadets who attend Ranger School do so in between their Junior and Senior year, and it’s done instead of Advanced Camp – not willy-nilly sometime in their college career.
At Georgia Bill developed an affinity for girls and parties and his grades started to fall. He was known for his wild side and finally he made a mistake that would change his life forever , He was at a celebrated fraternity party where the brothers set the pledgr mobile on fire and when thet firemen came to put the blaze out Bill stole a fire truck as a pramk which ended with an 18 man SWATT team and a felony of 10 years in prison. Billl was athletic very smart with an IQ of 133 and gifted in tactical thinking an exceptionally skilled in combat weaponry, explosives leadership and navigtional tactics so the Commanding Officer of The ROTC AT The University called a contact at the Pentagon who recruited young men that fit the blue print of an experimentl elite Black Operations Unit that worked as an arm of Th C.I.A. the N.S.A. and The Special Operations Force for The United States Navy. The full bird Colonel flew down with a team ran some tests and Bill was a perfect fit for a candidate for this lethal unit. The Colonel went to the judge said tehy need guys like Bill and the survival rate was close to 30% in the operations they ran. The judge gave the choice to Bill and Bill accepted the challenge. Bill became a trainer in the Elite Black Opertion teams running missions, operations and the most dangrous assignment in the world all over the world for seven years. Out of his twelve man kill team and over 72 life fire operations 4 men survived out of the ten year commitment. Bill struggled to heal from darkness no man or woman should ever have to see or do, he reinvented himself in acting and fitness studying theater in New York City
Yeah, Special Operations units aren’t populated with criminals and general college shitbirds, just the opposite. For every college student who thinks he would be a hot shit operator, there are a thousand actual operators who would make the college students look handicapped. That bullshit is all a Hollywood creation, but then so is Bill;
Believe it or not, Bill did actually serve – in the Marine Corps Reserve. His only active duty service was for initial training, though;
I guess when your looks fade as fast as Bill’s looks did, you need to make up bullshit in Hollywood.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
This dude is definitely All-Points Logistics material. I could see this tool working the gate.
I wonder who kicked this guy’s ass? We should take up a collection and buy him a six-pack!
The more I think about it this dude has the shitbaggery to make a deep tourney run….
He has it all minus sex appeal.
Nah Green Thumb, he looks much more “handsomer” than that. He just had someone beat the phuck out of his face for a upcoming role as being Mickey Rourke’s stunt double. Getting into character is everything, ya know.
http://s23.postimg.org/y7mwi7mnf/Mickey_Rourke_celebrity_makeover.gif
They were fighting over a six pack at a city park
Yeah.
The sick-pack of passed out male teenager.
Sickos.
This guy’s a hoot!
When all else fails – make it entertaining.
Let’s begin with the Run-DMC hat. No, the 18 man SWAT team! No, wait… the…
Looks like he’s consumed a lot of “Ghey Whey” in his lifetime.
1-DMF unavailable for comment.
Oh, wait…
“Bill struggled to heal from darkness no man or woman should ever have to see or do.”
HA!
Must have been when he blacked out from a college all-night binger.
He was “pegged” by Trigglypuff….
Spew Alert please.
Brain bleach, please! Yak!
I just had to google Trigglypuff. Rest of you fuckers have to suffer too.
https://youtu.be/ZIpkdusnIkE
fuggit…I’ll watch anything if it gets me away from my homework for a few seconds
If you say you’d hit that then truly there is no muff to tough!
I’d hit it. The way she’s spazzing, it’s irresistible …can ya imagine the spasms that angst is transmitting to her pelvic floor?
Holy Shit IDC SARC!! You may need a TAH intervention!! Look at Farmgirl shoot her Mossberg 500 and come back to the light brother. (She’s just down the road from you)
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Edawo1xMAc&w=854&h=480%5D
Isn’t that just Trigglypuff’s twin sister?
fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap!
I just had to click the link man, I just had to. That was wrong in so many ways.
Oh. Hell. No.
Not another phony Marine this week.
And they’re always Force Recon and/or Scout Snipers.
Oh FFS….lemme have a few minutes in the surf zone on a moonless night with this queefsquirt
IDC_SARC, don’t destroy my image of you.
A girl’s gotta have her standards.
I was suggesting drown-proofing him sans ambient light in a maelstrom(vertigo inducing)…not gonna ask how it was interpreted. lol
Well, he’s SO special, I could probably get his sorry self lost on one of the river trails around here. The po-po would find him later, cold and shivering under a bridge trestle, blotchy with mosquito bites and loaded with ticks, sitting next to the remains of a quarterpounder with cheese that he filched from the dumpster behind McDonald’s. And no campfire, because he can’t rub two sticks together to start anything.
Laughing my ass off at the fat middle-aged white guy trying to do the rapper pose. And his fake bio, with all its spelling errors, looks like it was penned by old VWPutz (remember that dipshit?) and inspired by drunken recollections of a 1980s B-movie plot.
fuckgnard is bragging about a time he was at 17% BF…the USMC max is 18%.
He’s probably having trouble deciding if he wants Mark Wahlburg or Matt Damon portray him in a biopic.
Matt Damon? I can think of no worse insult.
Sean Penn?
George Clooney?
Freddie Mercury? (Oops; forgot that he’s no longer with us.)
Wait a minute. How about Rosie O’Donnell? I believe that she’s available.
I was thinking Larry the Cable Guy.
don’t be picking on Freddy – unlike the rest of these, he was actually good at his job
Wasn’t Freddy Mercury Arnold’s nemesis in “Commando” or some other crappy movie..the dude was sporting a really gay sort of chain mail shirt and throughly spindly arms as I vaguely recall
Pauley Shore?
Pee Wee Hermann?
He won’t engage in conversation with me on Facebook. He has that “block” tab at the ready.
It will be interesting to see if he has the gonads to come here and comment. I highly doubt it.
My bet is that he’s already launched a Sock Puppet or two and they’re inbound to TAH as I write this.
I recommend that we once again set the Sock Puppet warning trip flares out around the TAH perimeter, and then have all hands on Team TAH face outboard and stand by to repel Sock Puppets.
William Humphries, Bring it! Sock puppet or not, get ready to get hammered!
I made a couple comments and the FB page has now disappeared…dunno if it’s gone or I’m just blocked from seeing it. musta given him a taintspasm
Yeah Scotty, his FB page wiped your comment from you.
I checked out his “www.StreetfightPro.com” and that is “Forbidden”.
However, his “Giddy Up Sports” FB page is still up.
https://www.facebook.com/pg/Giddy-Up-Sports-194752560573526/posts/?ref=page_internal
Just posted a few links about this article there.
Let’s wait and see what happens, shall we?
I left a review he removed it and blocked me. Whatsamatter Bill? Why you wanna ban a brother? Let’s chat about life in the Reconnaissance community.lol
He’s probably just shy and is nervous about meeting so many new people at once.
I left my calling card. LOL
This short little pudgy camel giz guzzling, goat humping, pencil pecker headed wannabe is a parasite to society. William ” Bill ” Humphries is not a Force Recon Marine. Nor did he earn the Ranger Tab in ROTC. The best part of this cum guzzling bastard ran down his Mama’s ass crack. Freaking Jackwagon Idiot
You got that last part wrong, Scotty. There is no living human capable of breeding the mother of that, in the missionary position. This had to have been Doggie style with the “best part” running down the inside of her thighs.
Ha! Who said meth is bad for you. Okay, meth is bad for you. Just visited his Facebook and the first rounds are impacting. He will be locking it down soon.
But you’re supposed to lose weight on meth. He can’t even get that right.
This guy’s poser act is absolutely mind-numbing.
Gee, the “DD214” sure looks authentic don’t it?
dd-214?
Where do you see a dd-214?
Yep, he’s quick with the block. Posted this on his timeline with ‘care to comment?’ and less than a minute later I was blocked.
His Block-Fu is strong. The rest of him is made up of fail though.
William Humphries, the phony recon, phony operator, is puling the Richard Marcinko look to add to his phonery.
In that photo showing the two guys in BDUs, where he says, “0300 Hours,” looks like it was taken onboard a ship during regular hours, or late afternoon/evening hours, before taps.
If it were “0300”, the space they were in would more than likely been showing with red lights, not the white lights that you could see in the photograph. Especially if they were about to roll out into the darkness for some “ship to shore” assault, and if this were going to be a “hush hush” operation that would require darken ship.
It’s like what Jonn said, William Humphries doesn’t know how the real military works.
thebesig,
Shack!
After looking at that photo, I was just going to pile on with similar comments, but you beat me to it.
My guess is that the photo was probably taken down in troop berthing aboard a West Coast amphib, possibly during his active duty for training out at MCB Camp Pendleton, CA in Aug/Sep 1984. That’s the only time noted in his records where he could have been anywhere a ship. Possibly embarked with 4th FSSG elements during a West Coast PHIBREFTRA?
He sure as hell didn’t get aboard a ship while he was out in 29 Palms, at Camp Ripley in MN, or at 4th FSSG HQ in Atlanta…
What fucktard paints a white stripe down the center of their face as camo?
The only thing missing is the range scale.
LMAO!
Does anyone here remember that line from the song, “GARRET TROOPER”, recorded by Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler on his album, “BALLADS OF THE GREEN BERETS”?
“You know what I saw when I looked down?
A spit shined boot!”
For anyone who doesn’t remember the lyrics of that song, here’s the URL where you can listen to it:
https://youtu.be/S8uIwi1oHuw
My first night of guard duty in Viet of the Nam was interrupted by the field phone clattering.
” take off those fucking glasses specialist”.
I threw them over the cliff.
That is priceless, 26LimaBeans!
“What fucktard paints a white stripe down the center of their face as camo?”
It’s been a very long time since boot camp when we were taught such things, but isn’t that the exact opposite of how you are supposed to apply camo face paint? I thought that the most prominent parts of your face (nose, forehead, cheekbones) were supposed to get dark paint.
I mean, good old special ops Bill here would obviously not get it right, but wouldn’t you have to presume that his actual unit had adult supervision during AT and that those people would have corrected that?
Maybe he thought marking himself as road kill would keep someone from shooting him??
29 Stumps?!?…there is a harbor there. You never heard of Lavic Lake? My platoon set a LARV deep dive record while performing the fastest underwater helium balloon assembly in USMC history there. Bam!
Ah yes, a worthy and enviable achievement.
But did you ever dare to enter the fierce and unforgiving waters of Lake Bandini out at the Stumps?
…the horror…the horror…the horror
Then I salute you, sir!
(Mick tips hat to IDC SARC)
I was a member of the Lake Bandini Yacht Club. It’s where I went to kick back after a hard day of picking up brass that the tankers were kind enough to leave on the range so the C&E students waiting for a class had something to do.
Lake Bandini… that’s all I need to say about 29 Stumps
Been there, done that X2
Lake Bandini is forever seared into the memory of anyone who has ever spent time at MCAGCC 29 Palms.
Only the Marine Corps could fail to consider the prevailing winds out there in the desert, and then proceed to place Lake Bandini upwind of the Mainside portion of the base. There’s nothing quite like it on a hot, windy summer day in the desert.
Ah, the memories.
The sounds of the awesome concussive force behind the mightily armed Domino Titans haunt the dreams of all that survive the stumps and echo in eternity…**shudder**
Follow LB on Facebook! (smile)
https://www.facebook.com/lake.bandini
Hey Hondo. Good to see you again.
Thanks. Busy as hell, and only able to pop in occasionally. Condition likely will continue for a few more weeks.
We ran our PFT around Lake Bandini. Largest base in the entire Marine Corps, and they have us running 3 mikes around it.
Looks like they were trying to clean up the water treatment facility a while back. I guess the smell was offensive, or something?
http://www.29palms.marines.mil/News/News-Article-Display/Article/498681/lake-bandini-gets-facelift/
Oh, yes… you could tell what way the wind was blowing.
And, just about all of the units did their Physical Fitness Testing near the lake – it was the flattest place on the base (the AAF used it for glider training during WWII – before the lake was put in).
Shitbag!
I wonder how many of his TV and Movie “roles” were as a “non-speaking actor”, aka: extra?
His non speaking roles were spitting pillow feathers in some gay super 8 flicks
Now I need brain bleach for that..
thanks
This makes me moist.
In the oyster
BHWHAHAHAHA !!!!
133 IQ and can’t spell worth a damn! But still, Hollywood should give him a call, there are always extra doughnuts on the set that need to be eaten.
C.I.A. and N.S.A. Guy is really s.m.a.r.t.
yeah, if his diploma says “Mastors” on it I tend to doubt its authenticity, to say the least.
Must be on o’ them “MESNA” folks.
lol…Mesna is also a drug used to treat chemo induced hemorrhagic cystitis…bloody painful urination seems appropriate in his case.
I wonder if he visited SWEADEN?
I think Chevy had a claimed IQ of 133. Coincidence?
Maybe his excuse is that his parents are brother and sister?
Yes he’s Hollywood material…but instead of hanging with his frat bros at UGA, he was costarring with Zeke and Festus in Deliverance
You know he could have gotten his (rump) Ranger tab within a year.
Dumbass claims to have attended McCallie in Chattanooga (he misspelled it the first time he mentions it in his little “life history”). For those not familiar with Chattanooga, McCallie is probably the most well-known and elite high school in the city, and probably one of the most exclusive private high schools in the southeast. So, that’s likely another lie.
According to the records posted above:
USMC MOS 3531 Motor Vehicle Operator.
No USMC Infantry or Amphibious Reconnaissance training.
He went straight from USMC Recruit Training at MCRD Parris Island, SC to his USMCR unit at HQSVCBN, 4th FSSG in Atlanta, GA, where he served in the USMCR as a driver.
no SOI, no ARC/BRC/RIP, no Combat Dive or MTT/LARV Transition, no Airborne, no SERE….wtf exactly would this guy do in a platoon…make box nasties for the operators?
Ha! BOX NASTIES!!! I haven’t heard that term used for many years. Thanks for the memories and the chuckle, Doc!
As for our ‘hero’ here, I was thinking that he’d be a prime candidate for assignment to the night shift guarding the remains of Riseley Pier at Camp Lejeune.
Or perhaps painting rocks and sweeping the sidewalks in the platoon area.
gourd…many a swim/fin/run looking at that pier…even bribed the caretakers with beer to shack up in an E-9 cabana when I was a mere HN
it’s in ruins now?
last time I was in the old 2d Recon Bn area, everything was gone except for a few concrete slabs and the boat dock to the intercoastal waterway that was next to the “Harbor Site”
‘Riseley Pier slated for removal’ http://www.lejeune.marines.mil/News/Article/512260/riseley-pier-slated-for-removal/ ‘MARINE CORPS BASE CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — The sun hung high over the weather-beaten planks as a cool breeze drifted across the sand dunes. A low rumbling sound reverberated in the three men’s ears as they spied a wave of mechanical sea creatures crawling their way toward shore. Two of the men stood proud upon the spectacle as the third realized he was looking at the true speed and swiftness of the U.S. Marines. The setting was Riseley Pier and the three attendants were President John F. Kennedy, Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson and the Shah of Iran Mohammad-Reza Shah Pahlavi, observers to an amphibious landing exercise, April 14, 1962. Since then, Riseley Pier has become a historical landmark to the Camp Lejeune and Onslow County communities. Over the years renovations have been conducted to keep it standing. However, the weathering of time and multiple hurricanes have deteriorated the structure and plans now exist to completely remove the pier. “After Hurricane Ophelia hit in October 2005, the pier reached the point where it was condemned,” said Brian E. O’Leary, general manager of Onslow Beach. “Of the 300 feet of pier, the hurricane ripped off 150, but that wasn’t the main reason it was closed.” The pier is supported by a network of pylons dug into the beach floor, however, the sand around the pylons has eroded away to the point where the pier is dangerously unstable. Any attempt to drill further down is made impossible by a sheet of bedrock beneath the sands surface. The cost to renovate Riseley Pier once more has been calculated at $3.8 million, according to a report from the Base Installations and Environment Department. “I realize this is a highly-emotional situation,” said O’Leary. “I myself am saddened the pier is going away.” With the recent construction projects underway aboard Camp Lejuene, any diversion of funds toward the refurbishment of the pier would hardly be sufficient. Any funding appropriated for base maintenance is prioritized to the slated construction of a new base gate for greater security, four new highway interchanges… Read more »
dayam
Last time I was in the Recon area I didn’t go to the pier. I guess it was already condemned at that time.
fukking picture of him smiling like a doughnut just screams legit
The “full bird colonel” that flew down to recruit him looked just like Richard Crenna.
Judging by that melon on his shoulders, it was probably Colonel Harland Sanders.
He’s so bad ass, that Chuck Norris took lessons from him.
https://youtu.be/lSzT54HTpeY?t=116
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, good shit, just what Ineeded today, this guy really is clueless, I`ll bet he gets mad pussy with all his war stories.
Cocksucker.
He’s in damage control trying to clean up his Bio’s.
Too late Billy boy. Screen snips were taken long before you was exposed.
Word.
I am curious where borderbill (a NIMBY/BANANA) has seen a DD214 for this cocksucker.
I’m thinking that the markings on his face come from a tail slapping by a flaming rescue signal squirrel.
Gotta be careful when lighting those little dudes off at 0300.
Is that why he looks like he walked into a swinging monkey wrench?
Then there’s this:
http://www.buzzfile.com/business/Giddy-Up-Sports-404-454-7598
Dimwit: Welcome to your star on the ‘Google Walk of Shame’. Anyone looking you up on Google will know you for what you are until the end of time. Congrats, moron.
That picture just screams 133 IQ, doesn’t it?
As well as a ASVAB score of 12.
There’s one ASVAB waiver in every platoon. If you don’t know who yours is…it’s probably Bill Humphries.
Hell, Sparks, I was being merciful when I said he was a 12 ASVAB. If I would have said he was a 14 or 15 (the top end of CATIV), his head would explode.
Oh, wait, it already started to erupt on the left side of his face.
Bless his little old pea-picking heart.
Don’t laugh. I was Company Yeoman for my boot camp company and saw all the hard cards.
We had several Cat IV folks, including one rocket scientist with an AFQT of a whopping 11.
This clown probably had that, if you added up the three times he tested.
End of the month enlistment; When you absolutely positively have to make mission.
William Humphries is not only a world record ugly POS but STUPID as well. Another no-load pus-nuts snot-headed pisspants Sparkle Pony!
Why all the anti-intellectualism? This guy is no intellectual so it seems misdirected.
The reason he is obviously not a special operator is because he is a moron. Not because he is a college graduate.
There are a lot of college graduates in special operations.
Perhaps not the majority but overall they are more educated on average than the general military community.
In fact besides medicine, the intelligence branches, and a few specialty fields; special operations may be the most educated segment of the military.
What makes you think this moron actually has any education beyond high school, Piuperdink?
Everything he says about himself is a lie fabricated out of pocket lint and nose hairs, and unless proven otherwise, that probably includes his claims about any education he had beyond high school.
Are you REALLY that stupid that just because someone says “I got a degree at XXX college”, it’s actually true?
Oh, yeah, I forgot – you believe fake news stories because they fulfill your butthurt fantasy needs.
Where is this XXX college you speak of? I’m interested.
Triple X college is located in Meeteetse, Wyoming with a clear view of the Grand Tetons.
Hey! No obscene remarks about body parts here, fella!
Okay, I’ll cover up the obscenity with a little smooth sounding Frog talk.
Le Grande Tetons. Better?/smile
!Mucho mejor!
I wonder if it’s a technical school that is more hands on or a liberal arts school that is more theory?
When we got down to Australia for an exercise, Hack saw a lot of buildings with “XXXX” neon signs. Hack thought that they sure must love their porn, but it turns out that XXXX (pronounced Four X) is the Beer of choice down under.
It’s souped up stuff; brings on ‘beer goggles’ quicker than anything else….
“and a few specialty fields”
I’ll take that as Signal. Thanks.
Major Commissar, USAR: Why all the anti-intellectualism? This guy is no intellectual so it seems misdirected. I’m working on my doctorate degree, I didn’t take any of what Jonn said above as “anti-intellectualism”. In fact, nowhere in the above article did he attack intellectualism. Jonn addressed William Humphries’ idiotic acts and , and statements, as well as that of others like him. Major Commissar, USAR: The reason he is obviously not a special operator is because he is a moron. Not because he is a college graduate. What Jonn Lilyea actually said: “The reason it had never been done is because the only ROTC cadets who attend Ranger School do so in between their Junior and Senior year, and it’s done instead of Advanced Camp — not willy-nilly sometime in their college career.” – Jonn Lilyea Where, in that statement, does he point to William Humphries’ “being” a “college graduate” as a reason to why he didn’t do the Ranger course? He is talking about the rarity of an ROTC candidate going through Ranger course instead of their Advance Camp. He is specifically addressing the actions of a segment of the student population who are working towards their degrees, not people who already have their college degrees. Jonn was explaining why William Humphries’ claim of doing so, going through Ranger Course, is highly unlikely. Major Commissar, USAR: There are a lot of college graduates in special operations. Jonn didn’t claim otherwise. What he actually wrote: “Yeah, Special Operations units aren’t populated with criminals and general college shitbirds, just the opposite. For every college student who thinks he would be a hot shit operator, there are a thousand actual operators who would make the college students look handicapped.” – Jonn Lilyea Nowhere in there did he slam college graduates. In fact, those who graduated college, who subsequently went on active duty and who ended up qualifying for special operations, are among those that Jonn talks about when he mentions “actual operator”. There is a difference between “college student” and “college graduate”. Major Commissar, USAR: Perhaps not the majority but overall they… Read more »
We’re not “anti-intellectual”, we’re anti-douche. But Lars, a douche who styles himself an intellectual, can’t tell the difference.
ID that pronounced anti-DOOSH or anti-DooCHE?
This MBA grad needs to know that type of stuff… don’t want to “trigger” Commissar, who looks at Trigglypuff as being some sort of SJW goddess.
WTF!!!???? Lars is a Major???
What is it that happens to folks when they hit O-4? Is it just an Army thing? Or does it happen in all the services? I must have worked for or with about 30 Majors and only five or six of them, I can name em if you like, stayed decent human beings and took care of their soldiers.
Thank God I was only a CPT, and a DAT to boot.
Zampolit,
I would surmise that the intelligence estimates you produced previously were the subject of much laughter, if the above comment of yours is a good representation of your reading comprehension skills.
From his IMDb bio: “…his unique look has brought him a variety of roles from lead actor to touch guy roles…”
Yeah, I can believe he’s a touch guy, as long as he’s touching dicks and balls…
Geezo Pete! For *pita’s sake, would you guys please post a spew alert occasionally???
*That’s a pita loaded up with ham salad and cucumbers.
Don’t they call that a “fluffer” in the “industry”?
Humphries must have trained with Roland Haas. Remember him? http://www.nbcnews.com/id/38855911/ns/us_news-life/t/author-disputed-cia-book-kills-himself-accident/
Maybe Roland afforded himself one of Billy’s one day Street Fight Pro handgun instruction classes? That whole thing makes me cringe, the thought of Lumpy instructing anything to do with firearms, to any person. I wonder how many one shot femoral artery deaths we have out there?
Moron…
Shit Bird
Oh hell I have nothing more to say
Enjoy your new Google fame jack-ass
You’ve earned it
Is this cat retarded? One thing he ain’t and that’s blessed with the ability to write a complete fucking sentence. Where do these fuckers come from I ask you? That photo of the dude kneeling down was taken on a ship on a Med or West PAC but it ain’t him. This goofball is delusional at best. The ladies better beware of this fuckstick.
One other little gem on his Facebook page, he claimed to have gone to The Lovett School, which is a very high end, very expensive private school in Atlanta, as well as the McCallie School in Chattanooga, another high end, very expensive and somewhat exclusive private school. Both of these schools are quite academically demanding, judging by what Mr. ROTC Recon Warrior has written, there is absolutely empirical evidence whatsoever that he ever walked through the front doors of those institutions.
Perhaps a garble? He “went there”, but was busted trying to peek in the windows of the boys’ rooms there.
One other thing, we got about 1/2″ of ice and awards of and inch or so of snow last weekend here in Atlanta(and then it was 70 degrees by Wednesday), but his ninja survival skills kicked into high gear, so he posted this: “Hey Peeps just in case things really go down with this weather instead of sitting on the fence un prepared Im putting together survival info page with contact numbers, tool, heater and generator discounts in the Atlanta area, where you can get tire chains, MRE’s meals ready to eat, how to start a fire, survival tactics in case you are captured and need to survive. Crash courses in Spanish and Russian. Recommended reading, family games, first aid kits, cammo suits and flack jackets. It is also a good thing to call all your friends and find out what kind of car they drive and what their money situation is. Adoption agency’s in case you have to put your children up for adoption. The head of the National Guard And Senator Saxby Chambliss personal numbers. Im not seeing many boxes or people collecting boxes and this bothers me… People go to the dumpsters back alleys of grocery stores and liqueur stores and collect as man boxes just in case you have to box up your valuables in case things go down. Write your Wills there are Home Will writing kits on the internet , make sure you keep a copy of that will in one of teh boxes you collect. Everyone should wear a whistle around there neck and have a top secret code name.If you get lost evreyone should agree on a meeting place preferably within walking distance like a tree in your yard or a neighbors mailbox. Make sure you pack up on batteries and iphone chargers call your own group or family a team name mine is dragon killer and Im Mr. Dragon. On my team “Dragon Killer” each team member wears a back pack, we all are wearing florescent fedoras, life vests, carrying a lunch box, a bat two pairs of shoes a radio… Read more »
WOW… just fucking wow. Dude needs to put down the Adderal and back away from the keyboard. Got flashbacks of someof the shit that Bernath and Psul/Palmer wrote in the past.
Bet you that he was hitting the T-bird hard in his soiled spandex and freaking out that his AOL dial-up via 56k modem was going to crash on him.
This asshole is fucking special. I can’t say that I’ve met anyone this fucked up before. The really crazy thing is that this fuckwad believes his own retoric. Either he was born this fucked up or he did a lot of bad drugs. It’s comical to read his horse shit verbiage, but it’s truly sad that this goofball is out there amoung the masses potentially infecting other people. I hope he can’t reproduce! I would venture to say that he’s dangerous and we will probably read about this fuckstick in the near future, but it won’t be humorous when we do. I hope I’m wrong.
Ok. Got it. I picked out some of the high points and made a list to keep by the phone.
I don’t know what was supposed to happen to Atlanta that was going to leave “a fucking inch of snot” on the ground, but I’m pretty sure that a bugle or trombone would be useless against whatever would do that.
However I fully support Bill’s idea of finding an adoption agency for his kids. No kid should ever have to explain to his friends about why he is wearing waders and a fluorescent fedora.
Well, Currahee John, it’s nice to see that you did survive a little ice and snot down there in the Deep South. I don’t know whether or not your house has a keeping room, but keep the fires buring if you do. And if you want a good recipe for raspberry peach crisp, just let me know. I have one that will knock your socks off.
Seriously, how is this guy not being supervised by some responsible adult? He thinks the world is going to end with a half inch of freezing rain and some sidewalk snot? He should live where I do, with 4.5 feet of snow drifted up against my storm door in February 2011. I couldn’t move that sucker and had to wait for my neighbor to dig me out. Made hot cocoa for him and the minute my door was clear, I went out and helped him shovel out the rest of the sidewalk in each direction.
Old Bill’s description of the “team Dragon killer” uniform (complete with life jacket) got me thinking of this Far Side cartoon-
https://newbeautifulera.wordpress.com/2013/03/30/how-nature-says-do-not-touch-a-classic-far-side-comic/
“He should live where I do, with 4.5 feet of snow drifted up against my storm door in February 2011. I couldn’t move that sucker and had to wait for my neighbor to dig me out. Made hot cocoa for him and the minute my door was clear, I went out and helped him shovel out the rest of the sidewalk in each direction.”
Now see your mistake there, according to survivalist Bill, was that you should have taken his shovel and brained him with it (cause then you get a shovel) and then hidden his body under the snow or an old blanket.
You’d better get your act together if you ever plan to survive an Atlanta snot storm.
I could only get halfway through before I gave up. If my High School English Teacher read that, she would feel obligated to commit ritual self-murder. The last time that I read survival tips that confusing and useless, it was on The Stunning Agency website.
Here is Hack’s free survival tip of the day: Always carry a squirrel in your pocket, you never know when may need to light a tree on fire.
CurDog…My friend, It’s impossible to tell you how very much I have sat here anxiously in front of the Dell waiting religiously for such a post as yours. Without it I was a damned easy target ready to be eliminated as if someone had stuck two boxes of Ex-Lax up my tender rectum. Damn, do I ever feel snug, superior, and prepared after taking the advice from Will He Humper. Wish I could send you a picture just to give me assurance I don’t stand out in the crowd. So here I am, a trumpet tied to my dick, just for starters. It’s starting to ache a bit, but the damned thing has grown two inches and increased just about the same circumference in the last six hours! Less than one hour ago, the midget tranny living in the apt. next door said to me, “Is that a trumpet in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?” Of course I replied, “Baby, grab that thing and you can blow me Louis Armstrong style until the roosters start crowing!” Now the Missus, me and the young ‘uns are prepared to meet at stall number 12 at the Greyhound bus station should the SHTF Until all 19 of us are gathered on top of the shitter, I will be sounding the Kentucky Derby theme song every 30 minutes precisely, immediately followed by a silver stake we stole from a vampire’s casket in daylight this morning….to point at the empty toilet tissue roll holder we are supposed to meet at in cases like this. Real sterling silver stakes like this are ideal for pointing out meeting locations when necessary. Really now, who is going to be willing to adopt 17 kids at the same time? Worse yet, to be recognized as OFFICIAL DRAGON TEAM members, but not so much to be able to blend in with the public, we each have a neon purple baseball cap with Eagle Scout ribbons adorning the front, just above the nose. Just to throw people off our tracks, the caps also say “Goat Humper’s… Read more »
I’ll bet you have an escape boat named Hunky Dory, don’t you?
To be fair, that mission that he and T Rex went on against 44 bad guys could have taken place during a weekend. Spend Saturday and Sunday adding kill notches to the stock of your rifle, and Monday morning back at work mopping up the cum stains in the video booths of the adult book store, and no one is the wiser.
I liked the “one shot one kill bro” line in that little daydream of his. Watch Dear Hunter much Bill?
Shame on you guys! You should take pity on this hapless, hopeless humanoid hominid. Do you not realize how hard it is to choose between raw peanuts and peanut butter? Have you never had any sympathy for someone completely torn between regular popcorn you need to pop yourself, and microwave popcorn? Do you not understand that sidewalk salt in those big bags is just as edible as table salt? He’s giving out perfectly bad advice about survival skills, because he simply wants to share that he has none, and you’re all over him about condoms and fluorescent hats, so what’s next? Making bacon pancakes?
I can tell that none of you understand the finesse require to make a usable cardboard box-and-duct tape aquatic vessel, but he’s already prepared for the Terrors of Ice and Snot, so if The Flood should come, he’ll be prepared.
The pud knocker is blocking people on his FB page vs. responding. Yep he’s bad ass.
I bet Run DMC is proud.
This dude personifies “queef”.
He should be wearing a hat reading “Dumb MF’er”.
All this time many of us thought that the place to be during inclement weather was inside the house. You know – the place that keeps you warm and dry, well fed, with easy disposal of waste materials.
What a concept! Instead of being safe and secure with all my stuff, I could be outside guarding the neighbor’s mailbox. Naw, they wouldn’t be at all concerned about me and my team hovering there blowing whistles. Course not. What are we supposed to do when the postal person comes by? Crazy, man. Abandon ship!
The postman always ring twice.
BTW, the rally point is the mailbox WITHOUT a door.
Quite an impressive resume. He would fit right in with a proud woman owned business selling software to the federal government.
Well gentleman I appreciate you taking the time out of your apparently busy lives for all the judgement, comments, attacks, assumptions and butchering slander that supposedly will go on “for the rest of my life” I ill continue to take notes from real men like each and every one of you are on how to be a real man. When someone gets so much time, attention and advice from so many articulate and inquisitive men of valor getting hard ons out of quick judgement with little knowledge or research of who you are judging and whose life you are tying to destroy when we are all supposed to be on the same team, and sadly some of your grammar and spelling is almost as bad as my own. lol. I just want to share one thing with you men, actually I wanted to personally talk to the ring leaders John Cook AKA Jack Lord, handsome army guy Chris Sanders, and Wayne Hayden but they dont have contact numbers, addresses or even a job or location on their Facebook page, sort of ironic, but not amazing because from the attached article below they seem to have a history of hunting down military men,,some whom were real men of valor, ( not phonies) and attempt to slander and destroy an American who served this country then run and hide with no means of being able to explain, respond, communicate , or defend our own honor.. I dont know about you guys and from the intlel I gather from your own words and wisdom Im not that smart, but to me that is a definition of a true COWARD, arent they really the real pathetic little boys in short pants. They have my address, they have my phone number as all of you do, shouldn’t they have the dignity, honor, courtesy, courage to at least hear my part of the whole thing since its my life they are trying to destroy..Apparently not and that to me is more pathetic than I seem to be to all of you men. I know Im really… Read more »
http://freedomoutpost.com/military-phonies-blog-stalks-innocent-vietnam-era-veteran-wayne-hayden/ contains Chris Sanders
http://taskandpurpose.com/like-falsely-accused-stolen-valor/
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/01/12/stolen-valor-conviction-overturned-by-federal-appeals-court.html
Who the fuck is Congressman John McClain? There’s a simple process by which you clear your shit covered name. Post your Ranger School and Force Recon supporting docs. Even your “extensive history of running black ops” for the government has some paper trail attached to it. But you’ll probably just say Uncle Sam paid you in plain envelopes full of cash that you had to land nav to on the 1st and 15th.
Hey Chris Sanders you know my address and number Ill meet you anytime to discuss my authenticity you fucking coward bitch… More websites on you dog … Whos is the fucking phoney now. My lawyers will chew you up and spit you out of their mouth pussy.
http://freedomoutpost.com/military-phonies-blog-stalks-innocent-vietnam-era-veteran-wayne-hayden/ contains Chris Sanders
http://taskandpurpose.com/like-falsely-accused-stolen-valor/
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/01/12/stolen-valor-conviction-overturned-by-federal-appeals-court.html
Just as an update,,,Its March and I have still not received any call from Mr. Humphrie’s lawer,,figured I’d let you guys know.
WARNING: “Military Phonies” Scott Hughes (no bio, only searches reveal Registered Sex Offenders by that name) DISCREDITING and destroying the reputations of those who served in combat. Associates John Cook (aka) Jack Lord and Chris Sanders are distorting military records with LIBELOUS statements. HYENA JOURNALISM at its worst: The lowest form of closet gossip that no true ‘brother-in-arms’ would do to another. (Discovering they may have actually ‘served’ was the most disheartening.) They are also committing ruthless cyberattacks and sabotaging links on all who post against them. My garbage was also backdated 2 years, so prepare to hear things you would expect only from terrorists. Only FreedomOutpost.com and one other organization are taking them on, and they may not survive it!
Evidence so far points to my support of Chapman University against the Orange County Register.
UPDATE, RE: “Military Phonies” gossip columnist Scott “Scotty” Hughes (and fire team): State Attorney General’s office investigation has already led to the multi-state Internet auto salvage fraud I reported to 3 state BBB’s and Attorney Generals. That investigation is expected to soon become criminal (evidently they stepped over the line. it has already been proven they violated civil and interstate commerce laws). If my libel continues, I will be contacting our Congressman John McClain (POW survivor) on this. Will keep business posted.
UPDATE II: The bastard team of closet-queen cyber-terrorists responsible for FASELY reporting on military war veterans (responsible so far for TWO PTSD suicides):
*Scott Hughes
*John Cook aka Jack Lord
*Chris Sanders
*Wayne Hayden
SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO CARES FOR OUR COUNTRY MAKE THESE JERKS PAYABLE FOR THEIR HEINOUS ACTS AGAINST OUR FLAG!
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William “Pila” Chiles
William “Pila” Chiles
President at Quantum Staging
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Will you be arriving at a point any time soon?
Hey Billy, what the fuck is the United States Marines, Special Operations Unit 3 Meritorious Promotions listed on your LinkedIn page?
https://www.linkedin.com/in/billhumphriesactor
“Bill was also a member of The Force Reconnaissance Marines- the top special Ops unit in the Navy.”
“Atlanta United States Marine Corps (Force Recon Special Operations Unit)”
Wow, you are a super cool dude. How much are the annual dues at the Atlanta United States Marine Corps (Force Recon Special Operations Unit)?
https://www.linkedin.com/in/billhumphries/
ex-OS2:
My brain just ripped itself in half as I read what you posted there. So thanks for that.
(shudders; shakes head)
Oh, and you’re cleared hot, by the way.
Cocksucker.
William “Pila” Chiles has some “interesting info” on this site: http://www.counselormagazine.com/Chiles,-William-Pila/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pilachiles
“Counter-Guerilla Warfare Instructor, Counter-Insurgency Specialist
Former Recon Marine, Purple Heart, nominated for Bronze Star w/combat distinguishing device. Top Secret MOS designated by President Johnson Special Op. Chief of Military Police, 5th Marine Division, Camp Pendleton.”
Sounds kinda fishy to me, Kemosabe….
BTW – William “Pila” Chiles was outed back in 2013 for SV:
https://militaryphony.com/2013/06/16/william-chiles-us-marine-embellish-er-marine-recon-poser-blog-of-shame/
surefire way to spot a phony, when they say they were on a “kill team”.
What a douchenozzle.
He doesn’t even rate my profanity laden beat down I give REAL posers.
He’s just a Poser Wannabe.
Fucking Chump Pussy Bitch.
WILLIAM “BILL” HUMPHRIES – back away from the ether and conspiracy theories – they’re rotting away at whatever is left of your brain.
FUCK. YOU. ASS. HAMSTER.
Judge: “Do you have anything more, counselor?”
State: “Yes, your honor. There’s this photo. (shows it to defense) We ask that it be marked and entered as State Exhibit 11.”
Judge: “Any objection?”
Defense: “Ah. Um. No. Um. Your honor, at this time, my client would like to change his plea to guilty.”
Judge: “I have seen the picture. I understand.”