Alan MacIntosh; phony SEAL
This splendid fellow, Alan MacIntosh, was busted seven years ago by the old VeriSEAL website, but he refuses to stay busted. If you look at his Facebook page, he’s claiming to be a “Special Weapons Unit Officer at United Stated Navy” whatever the United Stated Navy is. But, according to everyone I know, he’s never served a day in any United States military branch.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
What the heck are the collar brass?
They’re proof positive that the guy is a fornicating imbecile, as well as a LSoS.
They’re PO3 insignia. They don’t belong on an officer’s uniform, even if the individual was prior service.
Petty Officer Third Class Crows.
Back during my first deployment, as an Army E4, i got to Camp Arifjan and i was like “damn, that’s a lot of full bird colonels”. And i was saluting the lot of them until a CPO stopped me and splained Navy ranks to me.
I did not feel like a retard for doing all that…
Kevin, it just shows that he’s a low-class liar trying to fool people into thinking he’s upper-upper.
Those are PO 3rd class crow pins, not birds.
Is he wearing a gedunk ribbon?
Bite to kill.
I remember when I made Petty Officer 3rd Class Commander…
It was just a few years before I made Petty Officer 2nd Class Vice-Admiral.
Dude, you really shot up the ranks! You also shot around and sorta thru them.
If Hawkeye can promote Radar to Corporal-Captain, then why can’t this guy be PO3-Commander?
PO3-Commander? Pffft! You’re a slacker. This guy made PO3-CAPTAIN!
It’s the Eagles. POS probably thought they were O-6 collar devices. The assclown doesn’t realize (1) they are PO3 E-4 devices, (2) shithead doesn’t have enough synapsing brain cell to look it up on the googlenet and find out shoulder boards together with collar devices are a no-no.
The graphics on his FB page give a pretty good indicator of his lack of brain matter.
Captain Third-Class?
Captain Ass-Class.
Well, for Pete’s sake, don’t fill him in on it!
The collar devices look to me like 3rd class E-4!~ and a Captain in the Navy has scrambled eggs on his hat….this p.o.s. needs to be put away somewhere in a padded room! imho
Wow. That chemo will cut down that svelte SEAL body.
And way to hide the fact you have migrated between fB pages. Look in the “Others Named Alan Macintosh”. Didn’t even use a different photo.
So…..he has Captains shoulder boards ( Col for us dryer services) AND, PO3 ( E-4) rank on his collar??
Okay then….looks legit to me.
Carry on.
And no scrambled eggs on his cover for a CAPT. What a loser!!
I wondered about that but not being Navy….
FYI….O-5 and above in the Navy have scrambled eggs on the bill of their cover.
must be another difference with the Army, O-4 and above get the extra hat bkig as field grae officers
bling…grade… damn, I hate this keyboard
In the AF, we called ’em “Farts and Darts.”
SEAL? This guy looks like a giant fucking pussy….you don’t meet SEALs with little chicken necks like this asshole and arms the size of a teenage girl…
What a giant assclown twatwaffle….
You might be surprised, VOV.
I served with a number of guys who had had significant, successful service with SF. One of them received the Silver Star, 3 BSMs, and 3 Purple Hearts while serving in Vietnam. He’d served with SF in Vietnam. He’d also commanded an infantry unit in Vietnam.
He was a little bantam rooster kinda guy – might have been 5′ 6″ and 140lbs or so. I doubt he was much if any heaver than that when he was in Vietnam. But he was absolute hell on wheels.
He ended up commanding one of the Army’s SF battalions not long after I’d served with him.
Thought you were a Navy Capt? Isn’t that what the DRC said?
Among other things, yes. But it’s the DRC, so expecting their claims to be accurate is rather like expecting the sun to rise in the west tomorrow.
Oh, and you have to love the “ring” he’s wearing on his right hand (photo above where he’s swigging from a bottle). I’m guessing he found it at a pawn shop and was too damn cheap to have it resized to fit.
Most folks I know don’t wear a class or service ring on their middle finger.
Worked for Magnum PI, didn’t it!? Why can’t he have one, too. Lol.
That’s a Sam Adams he is “sipping” like a girl. One does not sip a bottle of Sam.
Maybe he is blowing into it playing “Anchors Away”.
Much like one would play a flute or work a… well, uh… a johnson?
Nah, you’re both wrong. He’s spittin’ a slug of “chaw juice” into the bottle.
You can’t expect a PO3-Commander to just toss a slug of juice into a spittoon, now can you? Not very lady-like doing that.
Didn’t the Navy create a special rank for this shitbird? Petty Commander?
My hubby does. His fingers have shrunk somewhat since he graduated, and he already lost the ring once (it was returned about 3 years later). Now he absolutely point-blank refuses to let that ring out of his sight long enough to get it resized, even though the company will do it for free.
That “ring on the wrong finger” thing is how you identify yourself to other turds that you do indeed have a position riding the gravy train at All-Points Logistics.
After the False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) took a fall, it has become status quo.
Looks like he relocated from Ocala Florida to San Diego. His Facebook page tracks his journey from Best Western to Best Western across the south. Probably bounced a lot of checks along the way. Nice to see this (alleged) Captain cannot differentiate between “we’re” and “were”. And who needs to bother centering their ribbons anyway?
Or getting them in anything remotely resembling proper order of precedence.
I’d be impressed with right side up!
Hack,
I was able to enter Coranado Beach on a FB check in.
If he is trying to give everyone the slip he could have done the same.
Hack….for those of us F B challenged (by choice)
would you please list the cities and hopefully addresses of any Best Western Tommy the Turtle listed as having stayed in? That’s as good as gold when it comes to tracking.
Hey, they call them petty-OFFICER for a reason. I believe the original was Corporal-Captain, first tested in the Korean war, as seen in that fine documentary of the 70’s, MASH.
PO-6 is just the logical growth of the program.
Correction, EM1/SS. That should be POS-6.
Look at the bright side, EM1/SS–as a third, you can give him the kimwipes and spray and wipe and put HIM in the ERLL/AMR bilge for field day.
I’ve never understood Navy rank and this doesn’t help.
Don’t feel bad, neither does he.
NO GEDUNK MEDAL.
NAIL HIM!
His rack is a mess, too.
“ALAN JAY MACINTOSH, 46, of Corinth, Texas, has been indicted for unlawfully wearing military medals or decorations. If convicted, he faces up to one year in federal prison.”
https://archives.fbi.gov/archives/dallas/press-releases/2010/dl011410a.htm
Unfortunately, DH, that was under the old stolen valor act (the 2005 version) that the SCOTUS ruled unconstitutional. He skated on that as a result.
I have a great idea. It might work, too. This chicken-necked (turkey-necked?) wattle drooper wants to get people to believe he’s a SEAL, right? Let’s find someone who was a SEAL and is as mean as a rabid porcupine to put him through a real week of it. I doubt he’d last five minutes, never mind a week.
Cocksucker.
He’s in SD pulling this shit?
How stupid can he fucking be?
Then again, some guys like this take that as a challenge.
If he wears that screwed up uniform in or near San Diego, it should only be a matter of days before he runs into a real SEAL or at the very least a real sailor or marine who can give him the attitude adjustment he clearly needs.
Word.
No shit. I want to be in McP’s when he struts in and pulls this shit.
I’m thinking that all he’ll have to do is run into a wife of a SEAL – she’ll kick his ass herself…
I think a Seal’s toddlers could handle this turd.
My other thought along with yours is I wondered, “Is This Jackhole STUPID enough to try to gain access a military installation with his fuckery??”
One can only dream.
In the top photo he looks like the Seuss character from “Cat in a Hat”
I can see the resemblance but I think his facial expression is indicative of a 12″ dildo up his ass.
Do no insult The Cat.
If anything, he looks like the butt-end result of a bad date when his mommy wasn’t using birth control and regretted it six weeks later.
This turd’s Facebook page has a photo of a tow truck. I called the number on the door of the truck. Yes, ye did work there. For a week, after claiming that he had owned a towing company for 30 years. They say that he didn’t know enough about the job to be able to keep him on so they sent him packing.
Heezaturd for sure.
Ah yes, another phony SEAL who also claims to have been a tow truck company owner. He better hope he doesn’t run into an actual tow truck company owner! Those guys don’t like fakers stealing their rep.
Frankie….again, for the F B challenged (by choice) would you please list the phone number for the tow truck for those of us bent on catching this “would-be” magician? Every tip, no matter how small, eventually adds another piece to the puzzle.
Frankie…please disregard. Clicked on his name below the picture and found the picture of the tow truck. Thanks for the lead anyway. S/F
The guy is a professional pecker player.
He’s a fluffer for a gay film studio… and about as fucked up as a football bat at a hockey game.
Not to mention, if you have shoulder boards, you don’t wear collar devices. If you have collar devices, you do NOT wear shoulder boards! Plus some of his ribbons should have metal devices on them, like the Battle E ribbon (worn incorrectly on the bottom row right side).
Not to mention commissioned officers do not get awarded the Navy Good Conduct medal (top row, middle – which should be UNDER the Battle E).
Not to mention, Peter, NO GEDUNK MEDAL!
PtB: I’ve served with a few officers who had prior enlisted service who had a GCM. But if they have no enlisted service – yeah, you’re correct.
I also don’t think he’s sporting the “E” Ribbon. I’ve expanded that photo, and I can see zero evidence of any yellow/amber edges on the ribbon. That should show clearly against his whites if it were present (the ribbon is at the outboard edge of the lower row and contrasts directly against his whites). I think he’s sporting an unearned Purple Heart vice the E Ribbon.
I just looked at the pictures and laughed.
Maybe he is a 3rd Class Captain. That would explain the lack of scrambled eggs.
Petty Officer.
As a former member of the E4 Mafia I can tell you Webster defines “Petty” as trival and relatively unimportant.
And the fact his cover is lacking a backing for his crest, the dipshit.
The top photo says it all. He is a tard.
NO GEDUNK MEDAL!
Are you guys completely blind????
Ex-PH2: his ribbons are so screwed up that’s the least of his issues. Most people who rate them don’t wear what appears to be ribbons for the Navy Cross and Purple Heart on the bottom row of their ribbon rack.
What a moron. He is wearing PO3 and Capt Boards. He must be confusing the PO3 with an O6 Eagle. The Navy does not wear metal insignia on that uniform with the exception of chiefs E-7 to E-9. E-2 through E-6 wear their rate insignia on the sleeve.
Maybe he is the skipper of the head as the master of plunger 3rd class.
As explained above, he’s a POS-6
So this is what Captain Stubing would look like as a Navy SEAL. Ok. Curiosity sated. He can stop now.
Here’s what Captain Stubing looked like as a Navy Yeoman during WWII… http://www.prisma.de/cdn/img/default/770/7697129_141a249749b09409f95c4f342992dbd6_980x365re0.jpg
My all-time favorite movie, by the way…
No! Not my zapatos!
Good eye Ex-PH2! He needs to be slapped with a cruise sock for that.
PLEASE someone tell me this fucktard doesn’t actually own a weapon and that maybe this is a plastic replica and/or Airsoft toy.
TAKE YOUR FUCKING BOOGER PICKER OFF THE BANG SWITCH IDIOT!!!
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=151666471926381&set=piaarp.100012490869536.119518561807839&type=3&theater
Rubber duck with the barrel cut off?
airsoft
a) that barrel ending right at the gas block (part of the front sight assembly) I am pretty sure will make this a single shot weapon. Once the round leaves the barrel, there is nothing to force the gas into the tube to cycle the bolt.
b) hand guards are solid
c) grey oval on hand guard to add those kewl pellets
Maybe he served as a “SEAL” for a letter. Yeah that’s it! He just got confused and thought that trident was for the letter.
A bunch of local vets in his AO should gaggle together at whatever public area the D-Bag is occupying and treat him like the clown that he is. He will probably tire of the attention quickly.
That neck, those bug eyes, that shaved head….he would have been more convincing had he claimed to have been a turtle. Tommy the Turtle, that’s him.
Yep
So a quick TinEye search of a couple of the pictures of his “wife”
Well, see for yourself:
https://tineye.com/search/d107f7801dad2f8ec4c707a5b2be6ab15bd158bf/?pluginver=firefox-1.2.1
https://tineye.com/search/d36bb8550c5107d6b5bb19989fe88d133986fb0d/?pluginver=firefox-1.2.1
We think along the same lines…I did a Google Image search with pics…came up as Monroe Lee a Penthouse Pet…not fucking likely his wife.
Plus, is that the most screwed up cover you’ve ever seen? No scrambled eggs and the eagle is supposed to sit on gold anchors not an all gold device. Of course he has a connection to Florida…my adopted state takes another hit.
I thought his wife was Morgan Fairchild. Whom he’s seen naked. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
“Wife” Code Word for Blow Up Doll…
It’s always the little details that get them, isn’t it?
Holy Crap the he eyes say it all Lol…
Bhwhahahahahahaha !!!!!!!!!
There are ‘issues’ at work here. I’ll give you a subtle hint but you have to figure out the rest for yourself. Here’s your hint:
HE’S BATSHIT CRAZY.
OK, you figure the rest.
I don’t know if what he is doing would be considered SV, but it may very well earn him a beatdown in San Diego. Guess it may depend if he is profiting in any way for rocking the lie.
Looks like he’s wearing the following:
Top row: Navy/Marine Corps Overseas Service Ribbon, Navy Good Conduct Medal, United Nations Iraqi-Kuwait Observation Medal
Middle row: Afghanistan Campaign Medal, Kuwait Liberation Medal – Saudi Arabia Version (missing Saudi Arabian coat of arms device), Navy Pistol Marksmanship Ribbon
Bottom row: Navy Cross, Kuwait Liberation Medal – Kuwait Version (upside down), Purple Heart
Of course everything is out of order. The PO3 crows with the Captain shoulder boards are a nice touch as well.
Throat punch candidate?
Choke slam.
His facebook favorites are the best: “HuffPost Good News, American Horsepower, Rihanna Videos, Interesting World, Lonely woman, Boobs lovers, The beautiful girl naughty, Hey boy,come here, We Love Tow Trucks”
WTF… is this the original, or did some enterprising hero hack his facebook page and make some “corrections”?
Booger-munching ass nugget! I wonder if he’ll lawer up with a bogus CPO that’s been disbarred in CA? I also wonder if he’ll end up getting a visit from The Hair®™ as well? He’s skinny enough that someone could stuff a feather up his ass and use him for a dart!
He already has a 12″ dildo up his ass, so that makes him a human chicken on a stick.
that’ “on a steeck”
I want to see what happens if he’s perambulating around San Diego in that getup and runs into someone from the base. I’d hope it was a Bosun’s Mate Chief or a Master Chief BT, or even – dare I say it? – a SEAL instructor from Coronado, someone who is at least six inches taller than he is, and has a real dick in his pants instead of a caterpillar.e
Who’s the one always calling for a spew warning????
Well, occasionally, I do get to stick my oar into the pond, too!
In his defense he’s not wearing CPO collar devices. You know, those awarded when made an honorary CPO. So, he has that going for him.
Also, everyone knows the Navy Cross is of low significance on a ribbon rack.
Here’s hoping he does go to SD and ends up in a CPO or SEAL hangout. I’d pay to see either scenario develop.
Yes, folks, it’s ALL sarc. Except the bar scene.
Fun fact about this asshole. He swooped in and manipulated a deceased sailor’s grieving widow, just weeks after his passing, convinced her to blow all of the money she got from her husband’s death on him (trips to Disney, cruises, stupid shit) and eight off-and-on years later she’s now living in a trailer park, not a penny to her name, alone as fuck.
WTF? That is absolutely sickening. This takes playing the Phony SEAL Dress-Up Game to a whole new and unacceptable level.
Could we please get any of the Team TAH JAGs/SJAs to take a look at this? Specifically, does what Jd0813 describes above constitute a potential violation of Stolen Valor laws, i.e. falsely representing oneself as a veteran in order to benefit financially or receive benefits “in kind” (such as a cruise or trip to Disney) , etc.?
Someday soon, Karma is going to come along and ass-rape him repeatedly.
It’s all true what he did to her, her husband and daughter were killed in the wreck. He took everything from her..I am ashamed to admit that he took me for a fool too. My brother (who is a retired Marine) busted him.. I threw him out the same day..He stole my son’s birth certificate and ss card and ruined my son in less than 3 months. He is a worthless piece of shit and karma will get him one day.
How has he escaped prosecution for all of this?
We are having trouble figuring out his real name. I know he is still in Ocala, he is nowhere near California. I have a lawyer and I turned in all the uniforms and military related things he had to NCIS. He had a military ID of a deceased soldier with his picture glued on top of it. I was so disgusted over everything. It just comes down to he is a pathological liar. He has gained so much for his lies and destroyed many in the process
OK HOLY HELL,
Now this shit stain needs to be Scaphismed (is that a word? Who cares.)
This fuck-nozzle needs to be in JAIL.
Chip….good choice of words. Can I add my take? How ’bout he gets Schaphismed with a Perdunkle and Thizapoid by a licensed Kleptothermiac?
I know a few veteran bikers in the Ocala area. Maybe they can do some 1st Sgt counseling on his ass.
abitashamed….Don’t give it a second thought for your losses. You aren’t the first and damn sure won’t be the last to get taken by a piece of shit like this.
The GOOD news is that you landed on this web site. The BAD news for Mr F____ing Turtle is the fact that you landed on this web site.
To wit: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Bunch of TAH Folks Learning About Some Scammer Like This Pulling This Kind Of SHIT!!!! We all stick together like glue and have a gene that makes all of us go to the end of hell when some POS like this has done what he has. You can make any bet you want, I’ll cover it all right now. Before this is all said and done this web site and the rowdy hell raisers WILL find this asshole. Now whether you follow through is entirely up to you, your attorney, and the District Attorney where he is located. He WILL be located, count on that. It’s the challenge we ALL live for under these circumstances. People from all walks of life who refuse to quit when the chips are down. A bunch of folks who would stick together and defend another TAH member as if we had known him/her all our life. May take us a couple of weeks, but rest assured this circus clown will not be the same once we get done with locating and exposing him. Count on this….you can cut his a__ with a lawn mower before it is over! No military service, total liar is one thing…but to con and screw over a woman is beyond redemption.
I’d be willing to bet his leash is getting shorter by the minute, starting with the first post on this site.
Thank you jarhead, I am not giving up..I will not stop until he pays for what he has done.He needs to be in jail.
I know where he is. What can I do?
While waiting for karma to exact justice, I would enjoy seeing a group of Sailors and/or SEALs give him a serious beatdown. Stealing from the spouse of a deceased veteran? Leaving her destitute? I wouldn’t mind seeing compound fractures in his future. Karma can get him later on, after a series of beatdowns. With my usual apology to pond scum, he is the moral equivalent of pond scum.
Beatdown
Followed by hospitalization and healing.
Beatdown
Followed by hospitalization and healing.
Repeat until karma shows up
Has anyone shot a red star cluster over into Senior Chief Shipley’s grid square yet about all of this crap?
This looks like something that he’d like to re-engage on.
Along with Bubba, Thor, Julio and Mr. “Tiny”…
This piss-ant needs stepped on. What a fucking clown.
Frontrunner for the Stolen Valor Tourney.
So, he’s a Captain Petty Officer 3rd Class.
That’s gotta mean he’s legit; the United STATED Navy would have special ranks for Special Warfare Groups.
Think “Doorman” at All-Points Logistics….
And by the way he holding that bottle, as someone pointed out above, he more than likely has other talents that APL could use.
Assclown.
The guys at VSG are (were?) not to be F’d with. Current and former SOF guys, Feds, etc. If someone really made themselves visible on the VSG radar, ‘things got real’ very quickly.
They basically hunted and hounded one scumbag until he fled the USA.
http://anzmi.net/index.php/cheats-thieves/valour-thieves/232-bennetts
https://web.archive.org/web/20030811011234/http://sec-global.com/services/ctp/vsg/profiles/bennettsbd/vsg0012312023.html
VSG has gone dark, but the guys involved were responsible for a lot of good deeds unrelated to phony SOF scumbags that earned them the ire of some ‘less than honest and diligent feds’. Maybe someday that story will be told to a much wider audience. I certainly hope so.
And for internet trivia, one of the founding members @ VSG/SEC, former Teamguy, was years ahead of the curve internet wise and created one of the first web pages for Teamguys:
https://web.archive.org/web/19990508233629/http://www.the-south.com/TheTeams/
They got a ping on van Fleet long ago:
https://web.archive.org/web/20030713130926/http://sec-global.com/services/ctp/vsg/relics/ye-olde-hall-o-shame.html
And one of my favorite ‘bust reports’, ever. You’d have to have an idea of the demeanor of ‘Rex’ to fully understand, but I would have loved to have witnessed this 1st-hand:
https://web.archive.org/web/20031203031916/http://sec-global.com/services/ctp/vsg/profiles/barberipj/vsg031013214543.html
Any supposed Teamguy claiming to have been at the airfield during Panama who could not recite the names of the Teamguys KIA and WIA there…’someone go get us some rope’.
These cities showed up on a search…Anyone have any contacts or might be in touch with local Sheriff’s Dept?
Ocala, Fl
Corinth, Tx
Kissimee, Fl
Boerne, Tx
San Antonio, Tx
Houston, Tx
Fort Worth, Tx
Possible relatives:
Charles Macintosh
Elizabeth ”
Marie ”
Sarah ”
Then three more, but not as strong probability
Debra Macintosh
Melissa ”
Jane ”
I KNOW some (likely MANY) are as hot about this mfckr as I am. Taking bets we will uncover him. No limit.
BTW…age is somewhere in the 53ish range.
One final comment for the night. His bio lists Church Hill, Tn as his high school back in the day. My gut tells me that is not true. Will find out tomorrow and post accordingly.
And today’s news is…As expected. In speaking with Church Hill High School rep named Ms. Wanda, she advises me no Alan Macintosh ever attended high school there.
Another lie by him…what a shocker!!!!
As for the towing company, they had NOTHING good to say about him. Supposed to call me back shortly with what they believe is a good phone number. More later.
O. K. so now we have a good phone number, complete with Mr. Con Man’s voice on the answering machine. Anybody have an idea as to what we do with it from here? Not going to publish it, but if there is something you have in mind, ask Bro Jonn for my home phone number. Email address will be fine if he does not have the phone number. Would love to see this asshole where he belongs….WITHOUT the complimentary jar of Vaseline!
Jarhead: Go to Whitepages.com, click on ‘Reverse Phone’ and enter ten digit phone number. It will give you at least the city, though if it is a cell number, it won’t give you much more. If land based phone, it will give you name, address, etc. UNLESS he pays landline phone company a monthly fee to keep his information confidential. Good luck and get back to us. Stealing from a veteran’s widow? Lower than pond scum. Much lower.
It looks like he has been detailing cars in Ocala, Florida since 2011.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/alan-macintosh-9935b988
Annnnd, sucking cock behind dumpsters for “cash”.
Only thought so far. It’s a Beer dude, drink it don’t tickle it. Maybe he thought it was the back side of some ball sack he has run into before. Man toddlers can drink a beer better than that.
Also, you can tell at least where his phone is based by the area code. Shame that no one knows somebody at a cell company that could trace the phones location. Real shame..
The more I look at this guys bald head the more I think he does resemble a seal, just not of the Navy commando variety.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/01/25/250D5C3500000578-0-image-m-4_1422226010904.jpg
Kinda wondered why there was no more outrage and interest after my last post. No shit Sherlock/Jarhead! Stupid to do what I did. My mistake, which will not happen again. Jonn is the man, why did I not consider that? As of now, Jonn has the phone number for this POS. Yep, it’s Macintosh’s number alright. Ask Jonn for it, call, and find out yourself it is the circus clown’s voice mail.
BTW, HMC I took your advice, thank you. It showed up as listed in the name of Alan M…..Ocala, Fl. No idea why it did not spell out the last name.
So now what do we do to follow through? Collective thought will be better than only one or two.
Jarhead I ended up with a “visit” at my house from him last night. I was at work, my mom and son was home. She heard something outside and the neighbor seen him leaving the front of the house. I’m just waiting for him to slip up and he will be in jail.
Abitashamed…probably a few others would agree, call the police and advise them of the situation. In the meantime, you should contact Jonn Lilyea (found in the “Contact Us” box to the right end of info thread at top) and ask for your friend’s phone number. Hopefully some others will see this post and respond. There are others on this site with a lot more sense than I’ll ever have. They can provide even better directions for you to take.
Above all, PLEASE let us know in the future what comes of this
The words protective order comes to mind.