Captain Carl Dale; Canadian Phony
I guess our colder northern cousins (well not this month, they’re probably warmer than me this morning) are little bit miffed at this fellow. He claims that most of his service time was spent advising US troops, because, you know, we ain’t that bright and there aren’t enough Americans who can teach things like jumping from aircraft and flying helicopters. And he’s so cool that he’s a sniper helicopter pilot. I think I’d walk into battle if I knew my pilot was going to be firing his .50 cal. sniper rifle when he was supposed to be, um, piloting. But this one came from Scotty who got an email about Derring-do Dale here;
1. He claims to have served in the Canadian military, but when challenged, he states that nobody has heard of him in the Canadian military because he was “on loan” to the US 101st Airborne and served with them for most of his term of service.
2. he claims to be a sniper, and wears the patches on his CAV vest, but two instructors who have served with the Canadian military for years have never heard of him
3. Last year he claimed to be serving under a “Queen’s Order” and was on loan to the US Military, assisting a Colonel Baker at 29 Palms with a top secret plan to conduct an air drop into a country “overseas” (by the way…he could tell me it was Pakistan…wink, wink)
4. He claimed that Colonel Baker was sending him top secret satellite photos for his review on his email account (an unsecured internet connection that he was pirating from his neighbor)
5. He often can be seen around town wearing a captain’s uniform, and at one point claimed to have been promoted and was, for a few weeks, wearing a major’s uniform, only to return to the captain’s uniform
6. He claimed that Colonel Baker sent a Blackhawk helicopter to Trenton to pick him up for an airdrop over 29 Palms — he was acting as an instructor to the US paratroopers (cause the US doesn’t have anyone who could do that). He told five people in Kingston that he left at 0700 hours, that it took two hours to get there, they did the drop, and he was home by 7:00 p.m.. When he was asked how he could be in California in two hours, he replied that Blackhawks are really fast and that they don’t have to fly on commercial air routes.
7. he claims that his first mission involved crawling on his belly for three days to get into position to snipe a “foreign general” in some unknown country, that he was not expected to return from the mission but that he did his job and he was a hero
8. He told everyone he was away for deployment last year on the aforementioned drop into Pakistan — either he is the biggest security risk that the Canadian/US military has ever encountered or he is, as we all now know, a pathological liar.
9. He also claims to have swiped a 50 caliber sniper rifle that he has hidden at his father’s home at Presqu’ile
10. He now works as a general contractor in Kingston and claims to be a licensed electrician, licensed plumber, licensed pipe-fitter and journeyman carpenter — he does not hold licenses in any of these fields that anyone can verify.
Well, the fact that he served with the US forces explains why most of the medals he’s wearing are US. He even has a CIB;
But, the Canadians at Commando.org are pretty upset about him, and I guess they’d know better than me about him.
Category: Phony soldiers
I just spotted a Northern Loon…
Do we need to have a Foreign Poser Bracket in the next Tourney?
What a special little Canadian, Hoser, Canuck Snowflake. They are simply falling out of the woodwork.
I’ll let him play electrician. Here, Dale, just hold this here wire while I ring it out…
Makes me wonder if somewhere out there there is an IA or ANA Soldier claiming to have advised US troops.
Even I can tell that the ribbons aren’t in the right order. I guess that those non-subdued CIBs are tough to find north of the border.
If you have a CIB, why would you want to make up teh fact that you were a Canadian officer? That’s like claiming an EIB and saying “the CIB wasn’t tough enough.”
And frankly, if he was qualified to be training US personnel on airborne operations, his jump wings would most likely have a white maple leaf on them, indicating service in an airborne unit. The red maple leaf basically means “five jump chump.”
Piece. Of. SHIT!!
@4 Make him play plumber first 🙂
The 2 hour trip to 29 Palms is really hilarious:
Distance between CFB Trenton and 29 Palms: 2100 miles
“2 hours” means 1050 mph. Now, I’m going off of wikipedia here, but that figure seems a lot higher than what a black hawk is supposed to do.
Unless “blackhawk” refers to some secret canadian rocket-based helicopter thing. But then no one could possibly tell a civilian like me such secret moose stuff.
I checked the speed records of my all time favorite plane, the SR-71. It could’ve done that trip with an hour to spare.
I’m sure all you Space Shuttle Door Gunners have done 1000+ mph all the time. 😉
Does he smell like maple syrup too? or is that just their paper money?
In the age of Google, why do these people keep at it?
Oh it’s “only lying” right? Until this hoser asks for money because he’s a “veteran”.
Dumbass.
I hope they shame him up north, and ICE keeps him out of the US….
I’m Pretty sure 29 Palms is Marine territory,,,, and there is no inter-service joint special command there, much less an international one. I can give him a guided tour of the firing ranges he can stomp around the delta with steel toed boots kicking duds.
What a fuck-knuckle.
I thought Canadians only made up stories about hockey exploits. What kind of Canuck is he? Pathetic.
All the posts on the commando site were from 2010, when the thread was locked. Oh well, guess he’s back in the limelight again.
Standby my battles….I have a contact in Kingston, Ontario who has seen this POS recently.
I remember a couple years ago, some scumbag poser named Brian Khan (AKA Brian Camacho) pretended to be a USMC E8 who had PTSD from Afghanistan and was able to wangle a free trip to Canada to spend time hobnobbling with real Canadian vets who were wounded in Afghan. The Canadian vets smelled out Khan’s bullshit in about 30 seconds flat and the rest is stolen valor history. Khan and Dale should get together and tell each other war stories about their times downrange…
That last picture is very Dullassesq. They say everyone has a doppelganger. Think we found ole shortbus’
@9: “I’m sure all you Space Shuttle Door Gunners have done 1000+ mph all the time.”
That’s classified.
#18, No it’s a little higher than that, I know cuz I was the chief photographer.
…and Morgan Fairchild is his wife, whom he’s seen naked.
Remember I said the best thing ever to come out of Cananada was Old Spice … well the scuttlefu@k proves it!
Legit.
He was my commander in Halo: Spartan Wars
Never forget.
@18:
It’s only classified above basic Secret if it’s about the “belly gunner” which is sling mounted below the shuttle, armed with a shoulder fire 105mm recoiless rifle.
Of course, current budget wont cover space suiting the belly gunner, so going into actual space requires lots of extra training and a very highly modified (nanobots and genetic mods) cardio system.
All that is, of course, Most Very High Super Secret. So best not to mention it, mmkay?
The highest CLASSIFICATION is:
BFF, Cracker Jack Decoder Ring, “Please Don’t Anyone”, Triple Top Secret!
And always remember, when some says, “don’t tell anyone” … TELL EVERYONE!
@24:
Actually, the highest sec rate is Graveyard. So super duper secret that you have to kill yourself after reading.
He’s a turd, eh?
And now in French to comply with Canadian laws requiring all signs to be posted in both English and French:
Il est un excrements!
😉
*Takes a bow and exits stage left*
Daggone bastard. Claimin’ the Cav.
He is from Canadia. Phuk him, eh.
Ok. Settled down. Beiber is back in Cananada facing assault charges.
Il est un derriere!
Oh, quite pretending you know French, when you don’t. The correct term for this doodlebug is as follows, and I just hope the diacriticals stay in.
Il est merde. Il est putain. Sa mère a été engendré par un chameau. Il s’agit d’un orifice anal.
Ca, c’est tout.
And while I’m at it, does this shit for brains even know where 29 Palms is located?
Why the ignorant comments about Canadians? What does that say about your character? As for this imposter, I hope both sides of the border are able to really get the word out to watch for him and ensure he’s not taking advantage of anyone else. If it’s malicious intent, with any of these importers, I hope they are called out and ashamed. For those who may be doing it out of mental health issues or because of something else benevolent-ish, I hope they get the help they need.
@31 PH2
A camel, seriously?
#7 on his list of feats, crawling for several days to shoot a general, is lifted from Carlos Hathcock USMC. Maybe that’s the 29 Palms tie in?
Mentally ill…someone needs to make him physically ill.
…and just one thing boys. Please stop refering to those who confer upon themselves ranks by the rank…this ass clown is not a Captain, not by any stretch of the imagination. Just a thought…
“Why the ignorant comments about Canadians? What does that say about your character?”
As to question one, why not?
As to question two, nothing.
Canadia is a fine country. Many Americans, especially liberals, admire Canadia for its UN-like atmosphere, its political correctness, and its limited freedom of speech. in actuality, however, there are three Canadias. There is the one I just described, the separate French Canadia (which nobody likes), and, finally, there is the Canadia of old, the one which is all but gone, the one that existed before 1968 or so and is captured in old movies, TV shows, and films and writings of legendary hockey players. That was Canada. No hard feelings, bud, it’s just the way it is.
@ 33 if Cananada was so great, North America might be called North Cananada … Well it ain’t. They have funny money too.
I read that he is the guy that stopped Brewmeister Smith from taking over the world with his modified beer, so all of you hosers can take off, eh!
@ 33. One other thing Protector of Cananada, they speak French up there too …
I hate the French!
Add one and possibly two other Canadas, 2/17 Air Cav. There’s now Nunavut. Can’t say much about it, except it’s culturally Inuit and thus quite different from the rest of Canada. There are also the Atlantic Provinces and Labrador. Don’t know if they’re a world apart, still Old Canada, or have thrown in their lot with the Ontarian Socialist Republic (which includes the English-speaking parts of Quebec as well).
I understand Old Canada still exists in the provinces west of the Ontarian Socialist Republic and south of Nunavut, but I can’t comment from personal experience.
Oh chill the fuck out #33… eh.
#33: One thing to say about Canadia’s current political situation: I have a HELL of a lot more admiration for PM Stephen Harper and his conservative policies than I do for the marxist claptrap spewing from the piehole of our resident know-nothing village idiot obamao…
@34 Old Sarge, mais si, si. Mon Dieu! J’ai presque oublié cettes connotations péjoratives: il est salope de crapeau.
“He claims to have served in the Canadian military, but when challenged, he states that nobody has heard of him in the Canadian military because he was “on loan” to the US 101st Airborne and served with them for most of his term of service.”
That’s inspired secret squirrel shit right there. I’d be ashamed to trot that line out even if I was drunk in a bar trying to pick up a girl.
I grew up on the Quebec Border and have many friends in Canada. I rib them about Hockey and shit and they rib me about American Stuff all of the time. All in good humor and no-one takes offense unless they want to.
So, the thread starts off with outing this POS who brings discredit and disgrace to both the Canadian and American militarys who have fought side by side in WW1, WW2, Korea and Afghanistan, then degrades into Canadians and Americans insulting each other over whose country is better?
Classy.
The butfuckery is strong in this one.