Norks are coming!

| April 4, 2013

According to the Associated Press, the North Korean leader, Needle Dick; the Bug F*cker, has given his military the equally impotent permission to attack US and South Korean militaries in South Korea;

North Korea warned early Thursday that its military has been cleared to attack the U.S. using “smaller, lighter and diversified nuclear” weapons, while the U.S. said it was strengthening protection in the region and seeking to defuse the situation.

Despite the intense rhetoric, analysts do not expect a nuclear attack by North Korea, which knows the move could trigger a destructive, suicidal war that no one in the region wants. It’s not believed to have the ability to launch nuclear-tipped missiles, but its other nuclear capabilities aren’t fully known.

According to the Washington Beacon, China is gearing up for a possible reopening of hostilities in the war that has been fairly stagnant for 60 years;

The Obama administration, meanwhile, sought to play down the Chinese military buildup along the border with Beijing’s fraternal communist ally despite the growing danger of conflict following unprecedented threats by Pyongyang to attack the United States and South Korea with nuclear weapons.

[…]

The buildup appears linked to North Korea’s March 30 announcement that it is in a “state of war” with South Korea after the United Nations imposed a new round of sanctions following the North’s Feb. 12 nuclear test and because of ongoing large-scale joint U.S.-South Korea military exercises.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I can’t help but feel a little excited at the potential of millions of North Koreans presenting themselves as targets here. It’s the next best thing to the Zombie Epoch. I hope they wait until I can sight in my new Model 700. But I do have aiming stakes set up for the potential drop zone that my deck overlooks – it’s going to happen just like “Red Dawn”, right?

I hate to bring you down, but it’s probably all bluster. I’m pretty sure that the Obama Administration is loading up a plane right now with bags of money that Jimmy Carter can deliver to ND;tBF.

Category: Barack Obama/Joe Biden, Jimmy Carter, North Korea

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SJ

Where’s Rodman? He can calm this down by arranging for ND;tBF and Dear Leader (ours) play a round of horse.

Ex-PH2

Oh, yeah, Bodaprez now has a playbook. This, from someone who can’t get a basketball through a hoop.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/04/world/asia/koreas-tensions

Whitey_wingnut

Part of me still thinks this is just a smoke and mirrors play like the movie Wag The Dog or Canadian Bacon.

JP

I’m not excited for another war or anything, but enough is enough…for fuck sake, Kimmy, “if you’re feering froggy, REAP!”

Old Trooper

China is even getting sick of his shit, however, they won’t allow anyone to attack lil’ Kim, either. If, and I mean IF, things go hot, you can bet China will be involved on the side of the Norks.

Ex-PH2

Oh, let the squatty little guy fire the first shot.

MAJMike

This looks like the usual annual shakedown for food and credits. They should remember that we’ll run out of targets before we run out of nukes.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

@5 if it’s nuke exchange there won’t be anything to defend north of the 38th….

Doc Bailey

I think China would willingly sacrifice DPRK which is one of the few actual allies it has in the region. If DPRK actually does attack, China will do nothing, because they can not afford to let Japan or Taiwan get involved. having said that in the short term a united Korea would be a short term boon to China, the resources needed to brink DPRK up to ROK levels of infrastructure and industry are immense, but in the long term a united Korea would potentially be economically crippling to China. As it stands the fact that Taiwan with only a fraction of their land space and population is actually competing with them would put china in a serious bind.

It’s hard to say how the US will respond to an attack on ROK. we’re tired from over a decade of constant warfare. It’s possible that congress would not authorize any action, but it’s just at possible they would be forced to. Any attack on ROK would include US casualties, and potentially up to a whole battalion’s worth of casualties before help could arrive from Okinawa, Guam, Hawaii, Alaska.

It’s hard to say how long the fight would remain non-nuke, potentially the whole thing could if the B-2’s managed to strike the launch facilities quickly enough.

War on the Korean peninsula is a bad idea. Everyone seems to know it but DPRK. For now we’ll have to wait and see.

NHSparky

I’m pretty sure that the Obama Administration is loading up a plane right now with bags of money that Jimmy Carter can deliver to ND;tBF.

Assuming there’s also a formal apology involved, and Carter doesn’t go so senile he forgets his own name, let alone ND:tBF’s “real” name.

ANCCPT

WHAT??? North Koreans??? Lock and Load, gentlemen!!!

WOLVERINESSSS!!!!!!!

PS: President Obama will blink. He always does. Remember he IS a peace prize winner.
That being said, with sixty years to entrench and fortify, and the country being filthy thick with anti air defenses, it’d be a hell of a fight. We don’t want to go there.

NHSparky

ANCCPT–don’t get me started on that hunk of guano remake.

2/17 Air Cav

Out of curiosity as to how this story would be carried on the networks, I tuned in this morning to one of them. The lead story was the NORK story. I estimate its length at about 30 seconds. That was followed immediately by a story about a switch from Leno to Fallon (?) on the Tonight Show. After a few minutes, and while the news geniuses were still busily detailing and examining that story, I turned off the idiot box.

ANCCPT

NHSparky: Lets clear this issue up right now. There is only ONE Red Dawn. It’s the classic 1984 training film. The other one shall be referred to (if is should ever become necessary) as ‘That Steaming pile of crap’.
If you want the spiritual successor to Red Dawn, go see ‘Olympus has Fallen’….Too. Effing. Awesome.

The best part is where a Secret Service agent ‘interrogates’ two Nork infiltrators..All you savages here will love it.

NHSparky

Okay, now you’re gonna make me break out a $20 to go see a movie, or can I wait until it’s on Netflix or Redbox?

And Air Cav–there’s a reason why television was regarded as “The Great Wasteland” over fifty years ago–and that was when we had only three channels. Spread the idiocy over THREE HUNDRED channels (or more) and it looks as barren and dry as the Atacama Desert.

Then we wonder how Obama got elected–TWICE.

2/17 Air Cav

@15. There is some good stuff on TV. I’m not knocking it for entertainment and, once in a while, some informative and educational stuff. But if one relies on TV for news and opinion, well, as you say, that’s how the World’s worst free-throw shooter was twice elected.

ANCCPT

Yes. NHSparky, go see it. It’s Gerard Butler as a Secret Service agent mowing down Nork terrorists who seize the White House. It’s not a *good* movie by most standards, but is an AWESOME movie. If you liked Red Dawn for it’s unapologetic Americanisim, you’ll thoroughly enjoy it. It’s a big screen must-see.

SJ

Air Combat Rescue on NAT GEO was/is awesome. Right up there with RESTREPO. But then, I’m a knuckle dragger,

Veritas Omnia Vincit

@13 Indeed you have my sympathies….the “news” is packaged and prepared for the celebrity worshiping, addlepated masses who populate our nation in ever increasing numbers. Two imbeciles vying for the same 11:30 time slot over a year away taking more time than the threats of a nation we have been facing down after a war for over 50 years surprises me not in the least.

I am surprised they didn’t open with what I saw on another show, a contest between the Kardashians to see whose personal parts smelled fresher…it reminded me very quickly why I seldom watch the “news” as it appears today on what used to be the major networks….

SGT Kane

Contary to my desire and wishes to shoot Godless Commies in the face, I think war over there is unlikely.

What is more likely is that Kim Jong Un is playing the propaganda game with his own people. He will continue speak loudly, make troop movements, and do and say things that are blatantly militaristic and aggressive, and once our joint training with the South Koreans end, he will claim victory, because “American and their puppets backed down”.

Looking at the actions he’s taken so far, restarting the nuclear reactor, testing medium range ballistic missiles, and the nuclear tests all give him cards he can play later. He can use these things to negotiate a better deal, increased aid, or removal/lessing of the sanctions in exchange for giving these things back up.

For him, its win/win. He makes himself look good to his people and he gets a better deal than he had with the rest of the world.

That said, I do find China’s mobilization along the border a bit alarming. Its possible this mobilization is a show of support to the NK people (if you are invaded we’ll be here to help…just like last time) while telling KJU, “Dude dial it back a bit or we’ll be the ones invading”. A more alarming line of thought is this isn’t a show mobilization, but a legitimate precursor to the NK’s invasion of the south, which means they have better intel than what we have about KJU’s intentions, or this is the opening moves of an NK regime change led by China (a defacto take over).

Pat

In my opinion, the biggest concern on the Korean peninsula is a miscalculation by the North leading to a quick escalation. The ROK let them get away with killing 46 sailors when they sank the Cheonan; and then exchanged artillery after the NORKs shelled Yeonpyeong, both in 2010. Now with a more conservative ROK President in office, who knows if they allow repeat performances without some ‘eye for an eye’.

2/17 Air Cav

We take out the missile, and they cross the DMZ. They do that and we’re in a shooting war. In the end, they are back on their side of the 38th parallel and, aside from all of the dead and wounded, nothing changes. So, what to do?

PintoNag

I don’t think the Chinese are massing to help the N. Koreans; I think it is more likely they will flatten them. China has an economic interest in the US now that she didn’t have during the Korean War; her money and interests are more with us than with any political alliance she may have with the Norks. If she lets the Norks attack us, it puts China in an awkward position with us.

If the Norks attempt to use nukes, I think they’ll put everything they have in the air at once; unless they are as delusional as Ex-PH2 believes, they will know they don’t stand a chance of making more than one strike. If that is what the Chinese suspect they will do, they may be massing to help destroy any Nork missiles that are launched.

SGT Kane

The part that has to be changed is the “their side of the 38th”. Drive them to the China border and deliver a unified Korea. Which is more complicated than it sounds, but that is what needs to happen. And it needs to happen before NK gets long range ballistic missiles, which is where things end up if we don’t.

The real question is, “What does China do?” would they accept a unifed Korea under SK rule? or would they gamble from the begining (and not wait for US and ROK to drive DPK forces back over the line) on the chance for a DPK lead united Korea. And would the US be willing to accept that. Would the Japanese?

Rock8

They gotta realize we have a lot of payback waiting for them. There were way too many Brothers lost on that battlefield 50+ years ago.

We’re just waiting for an excuse. And payback is a motherfucker.

BK

A million man Army with a green water Navy can’t march on ships we park 60 miles off their coast.

This seems oddly familiar though. I was at B Co, 1/501 PIR in the late 1990s, the waning days of the Clinton administration, when similar sabre rattling occurred. We were all convinced that within days, we’d be jumping in behind the DMZ to secure an airhead for more infantry awesomesouce, saying: “we’re in ur pyonyang, eatin all ur kimchee.” And then, nuthin’.

Ex-PH2

First of all, awesome combat stuff is “Victory at Sea”. Period. After that: “Troy”. Men with swords, in chitons and armor. Eric Bana still has a scar from where Pitt’s sword swiped him. Second, unless Bodaprez does something (as) stupid (as usual), let the Norks shoot first. I don’t see them doing that. It’s showcasing, like the bantam rooster in the chicken yard: lots of noise, strutting around, puffing himself up to look bigger to the other roosters. But who is the better fighter? The Leghorn, the Rhode Island Red, the Brahma or the Bantam? And don’t compare Li’l Kim Fatty da T’ird to turkeys, either, because an adult male turkey in rut can do some serious damage to an adult human being. I don’t see anybody doing the first strike just yet. Posturing is one thing. Follow-through is another. You all ought to know that by now. If Bodaprez is not completely brain-dead 😛 he won’t offer a cent to Norkland. China has more at stake economically than we do, hence the missiles on the Nork north border and China calling in three ambassadors to tell them to back off, over the weekend. China may still be a communist state, but it is less interested in communism than it is in money. Wars cost money. China would rather spend its money on products than on warfare. It doesn’t want a war with Japan, either, which means you may be sure that Japan will line up with the US. China and Japan are stil squabbling over Taiwan and some Japan-claimed islands. And then there’s Russia, which also does not really want a war. The USSR went bankrupt over its own war with Afghanistan, and collapsed, leaving Russia and the Russian Federation — all those independent states that existed as autonomous countries (Tajikistan, Kazakhstan, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Kyrgyzstan, Ukraine, etc., etc.) before Stalin’s Iron Curtain ended that for them. I can just see Vlad Putin trying to persuade the Lithuanians and Poles and Ukrainians to back up Moscow: “Yeah, right, Vlad, we’ll call you and let you know.” War is an expensive… Read more »

2/17 Air Cav

Have John Kerry and the boys and girls at the Pentagon consulted Dennis Rodman? It appears that avoiding WW III may fall on rest on his shoulders!

The Chinese are going strong at the border to keep the refugees out. If they were in on this game, ND would invite them down to the NORK side of the DMZ for some R and R or something.

NR Pax

@28: It appears that avoiding WW III may fall on rest on his shoulders!

That sounds so much like a bad straight-to-video release.

Ex-PH2

This is an article from LIGNET. For Norkland to restart its breeder reactor will take several months. You don’t just flip a switch. After that, producint nuclear fuel also takes time. North Korea Still Far from Backing up Nuke Threats April 4, 2013 | Security | Asia and the Pacific SEOUL, South Korea (AP) — North Korea’s vow to restart its mothballed nuclear facilities raises fears about assembly lines churning out fuel for a fearsome arsenal of nuclear missiles. But it may actually be a sign that Pyongyang needs a lot more bomb fuel to back up its nuclear threats. Despite the bluster, even if Pyongyang started work today on its reactor, it could be years before it completes the laborious process of creating more weaponized fuel. North Korea’s announcement, experts say, is also likely an effort to boost fears meant to keep its leadership safe while trying to extract concessions from the U.S. and its allies. North Korea has declared itself a nuclear power and threatened to expand its atomic arsenal after its third nuclear test in February sparked the recent rise in hostility on the Korean Peninsula. But that arsenal is estimated to be only a handful of crude devices. To assemble a cache of weapons that would make it a true nuclear power, and to back up its threats, North Korean scientists need more bomb fuel — both for the weapons they hope to build and for the repeated tests required to perfect those weapons. “Despite its recent threats, North Korea does not yet have much of a nuclear arsenal because it lacks fissile materials and has limited nuclear testing experience,” Siegfried Hecker, a nuclear scientist who has been regularly granted unusual access to the North’s nuclear facilities, said this week in answers posted to website of Stanford University’s Center for International Security and Cooperation. North Korea nuclear capabilities are something of a mystery. What is known is that it possesses the ability to produce both the fuels that can be used to make atomic bombs — plutonium and uranium. This causes serious long-term worries following North… Read more »

Twist

@28, That was my thoughts exactly. The troops that China put on the border is to stop the horde of refugees that would flood into China should a shooting war start. Some of the refugees may even be radioactive at that point.

PintoNag

Just saw an article in MSNBC that says the Norks moved a medium range missile to the coast.

Twist

PintoNag, so you are one of MSNBC’s 27 viewers?

PintoNag

@33 [Hangs head in shame…]

Ex-PH2

I posted an article about this from Daily Telegraph this morning over here http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=34763

I do my best to try to keep you informed.

Ex-PH2

Things are starting to slow down in the Nork-related news department, but I’ll post this analysis here and in the other NK:tDF column at http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=34763. It’s a good read.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9971598/Is-North-Korea-really-looking-to-start-a-war.html

In reviewing all the information that’s been released about Li’l Kim and his shenanigans, I see two things.

1 – He’s establishing his authority with the generals by engaging in the same posturing and rhetoric that Daddy Medium Kim used. Most of that was bluster, but Daddy Kim did shell that fishing village on a South Korean island and also did sink a South Korean naval vessel, killing 46 sailors. The south, unfortunately, did not fight back. That SK president was less-inclined to fight than the current, more hawkish SK president. These Nork activities coincide with the US/SK military games and exercises, which take place every year, and will last three more weeks.

2 – The plutonium reactor was rebuilt during the 5 years between its destruction on UN orders and Li’l Kim’s coming into the Kim god-cult seat. Every article I’ve seen makes it clear that not only will it take several months to bring the breeder reactor online, it will also take several years to produce enough plutonium to fuel one bomb, never mind several. If so, we have several years to be prepared for what might be a foolish mistake by Li’l Kim.

If something does happen, it’s possible that China might go into it on the side of Norkland, but I think it’s more likely right now that China would clamp down on him and the generals and they would disappear.

PintoNag

This is a link to an interview with two former CIA analysists that dealt with North Korea.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/world/jan-june13/northkorea2_04-01.html

Ex-PH2

I did not think it was possible that Norkland actually has either a Twitter or a Facebook account, but they were hacked by the hackers group Anonymous.

http://www.nbcnews.com/technology/technolog/north-korea-twitter-flickr-accounts-hacked-anonymous-1C9212581

I am grateful to them for giving me a helluva good laugh.

Ex-PH2

Things seem to be quieting down in Norkland, for which I’m grateful. This article come from The Telegraph today.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9973033/US-taking-all-necessary-precautions-on-North-Korea.html

I’ll continue to keep my eye on the goings on in Norkland, but it does seem to be quieting down. The difference between this and previous episodes of threats is that so far, Norkland has received no money or other aid from the South or the US, and I hope it stays that way. It may be that China’s actual positioning of military equipment on Norkland’s northern border has had the hoped-for calming effect.

A Proud Infidel

Food for a happy thought: If the Norkies COULD build a nuke-tipped missile capable of reaching the Western US Coast, who the *BLEEP* would miss San Foo-foo or LA?

Ex-PH2

Good point. I would not.

Ex-PH2

My family’s motto is “Vigila et Ora” – “Watch and Pray”.

I continue to watch, with my fingers crossed that the Norks do not do something stupid. It appears from this summary from the Telegraph that Norkland and Li’l Kim Fatty da T’ird all have an April 10 deadline for Westerners (meaning everyone who isn’t a Nork). But they continue to build the bridge spanning the Yalu River between Norkland and China, which China is financing.

I am not amused.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9973577/North-Korea-missile-threat-latest-live.html

Also, Li’l Kim has increased his personal Secret Servie Squirrel detail.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9973668/North-Korea-Kim-Jong-un-steps-up-security-detail.html

Ex-PH2

Li’l Kim has issued a warning to all foreigners to leave by April 10, or else. With Chinese tanks on his northern border and the South Korean president saying ‘We will respond if attacked’ (unlike her predecssor), something is stirring Fatty Kim to set a deadline.

This is from the BBC news directly.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2304287/North-Korea-latest-Get-ALL-embassies-told-evacuate-staff-Pyongyang-Kim-Jong-Uns-warning.html

It seems that the Russians are in contact with the US, China and South Korea about their own embassy staff safety. That’s a signal that something is going on.

Stay tuned to this station for further updates.

Ex-PH2

Don’t know how reliable CNN is as a news source, but this is new a minute or two ago:

http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/05/world/asia/koreas-tensions/index.html

Ex-PH2

Yeah, I’m still here at the guard tower on the DMZ, watching Norkland. Here’s the latest.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/04/05/nkorea-warns-embassies/2056473/

I’m going to ask the South Korean soldiers to translate “Paper Tiger” for me into something really insulting so that I can sing it over the loudspeaker to the Norks.

Twist

I read that a little earlier on a different news source. They also gave 10 April as the deadline.

Ex-PH2

And you have to ask ‘why a deadline’, don’t you, Twist?

Is that a launch date? Why tell foreign governments to get their embassy staffs out of the country by that date? It has the Russians so worried that they’re asking the US, China, Japan and South Korea for help trying to get the bar lowered.

Ex-PH2

Well, Norkland must be getting more important. It made the local news at noon today with the warning to take embassy staff out of Norkland.

Yep, we’re in for it now.

PintoNag

What are the odds? If the Norks launch a nuke, would we reply in kind? Or use conventional weapons and just plow them under that way? I would think there’d be too many friendly and allied nations nearby to be blase about nuclear collateral damage.

Ex-PH2

At this point, PN, they don’t have a nuke to launch, but they do have medium-range and long-range missiles. The Taepodong-1 has a 1500 mile range. The Taepodong-2 is the longest long-range missile, 4100 miles.

I don’t know what’s going on over there (who does?) but the Norks are quite obssessed with the number 9, per this article.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/apr/05/north-korea-nine-magic-number

The more I find out about them, the more seriously bizarre they are.

However, using Li’l Kim’s birth date (8 Jan 1983), I ran a chart of his transits for April 10, 2013. If he’s going to shoot off something besides his mouth, he’s got Jupiter trine Mars and the Sun (two fire planets sextile each other, Jupiter is expansion and Mars is how you go after something) in Aries, a fire sign. Since Mars is traditionally the planet of War, that might be a good day to launch something. Of course, it can also backfire on him.

As a side note, the Norks apparently do a lot of shaman stuff over there, which is behind their fascination with the number 9. Don’t get me started on this part. The bizarreness makes me feel like my head is going to explode.

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