Malcolm Morley; phony Marine
Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on this fellow, Malcolm McNair Morley who claims in his résumé to be a Marine Corps veteran of the Recon/sniper variety with nine years of service;
There is a tattoo involved;
Malcolm was in the USMC from June 22, 1992 – July 21, 1992, so he’s not even a Marine let alone the rest of the stuff he claims;
He didn’t finish boot camp, so the Marine Corps doesn’t consider him a Marine. He disappeared from Facebook but not before our partners took screenshots. You can run, but you can’t hide.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
No bandana, but the pink necktie over his shirtless torso and discount Highway Patrol shades are a formidable pairing.
Not a necktie, it’s a bridle for his beau(x).
This guy’s got some nice moobs.
Maybe it’s a leash he lets his dates at The Blue Oyster or Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear) lead him around with.
Bradley Manning uses the leash to take Malcolm out for walks around the block. And it includes a short stop behind the bus stop where Malcolm gets “disciplined” by Bradley.
And also probably explains why he is not a Marine.
Soooo, is he’s fat chested or is he a flat chested fat he/she transiting gender type ? U never know these dayz ???
I think I’ve heard of this type guy a hundred times before, somewhere ? Is he 1 of those guy’s ? Another one those and only legendary “in their own minds” trained sniper, snake eating recon/raider, reaper of life taking-heartbreaking, bad ass of big asses, that was just too good to complete USMC recruit training, so much so that he was discharged after completing 1/2 of his boot camp, then was recrooted into the USMC raider/recon/CIA/NSA/DIA/KGB/CNN/MSNBC/NFL/WWF/BLM secret sqwirl special forces 5th spittoon Team 1, over his peers(as could obviously be seen by his prime pork boy physique) Rumor has it his earned nickname is “Molly’s dusty drawers” ? This is the very same Malc,”ontent”olm McNair Morley, right ?
Another one for the Florieduh Brigade !
He claims to be a captain and got injured saving some guys from a tank fire his head is burnt the shape of a helmet he also states that he was a deputy with the Beaufort County Sheriff’s Department in Georgia
Well, there goes breakfast….
Wha ja hav?
Nothing yet, but I will steel myself to fix a Hobbit repast of nice, crispy bacon, raisin toast, OJ and lots of hot tea au lait. Come the weekend, I may go after two eggs on toasted shredded wheat biscuits (large size), nice crispy bacon, strawberry jam and English muffins, and OJ + hot tea au lait.
I have to make chicken noodle soup, too, even if the weather is warming up.
Elevensies! I want my elevensies.
Did you know that OJ contains as much sugar by volume as sweetened soda?
I was amazed to discover that, but it’s true. You might as well chug down a can of Pepsi for breakfast…
Pop has no nutritional value. OJ does .
The bigger the phony, the larger the tattoo…
Gunga Dan would be proud of this “Recuit”; they can both wet their beds together…
The secret society of pink tie Scout Sniper Force Recon Marines. Only those that graduate get the pink tie and “banana hammock” (not seen in photo). This secret right of passage was not supposed to get out in the open. Damn!
After closer examination, I don’t think that’s a neck tie.
To my eyes it looks more like a pink bathrobe tie sash (or “Obi” if you will)./smile
Dammit DC, you know the First Rule of the Secret Society of Pink Tie Scout Sniper Force Recon Marines!
He is obviously didn’t follow rule #1 of the Pink Tie Scout Sniper fight club: “Never disclose our secret meeting uniform of the day.” Of course, rule #2 is never talk about our fake phony pony non-fight club. Somehow, I don’t think he and his butt-buddies get together to fight. Although, there might be some faux wrasslin involved, before the ceremonial circle jerk-off (secret rite of passage).
Manifesto/Creed: Never leave your buddy’s behind.
Why is it that every one of them has the nickname “Reaper”? We all know how nicknames go in the military.
Your buddies don’t give you a cool nickname, they give you one that is the most embarrassing they can think of from some fuck up or another that you have done.
Hence my nickname “The Hook”
As in “Dammit Doc, don’t grab the hook until it’s grounded in the water.”
I grabbed the hook. ☹️
That’ll put a tingle in the nether regions….ouch.
Yep. I earned one by being slightly motivated in addition to buying a ‘lifer tool’ bka a multitool.
Kurt Russell.
It’s still hard to hear that damn name and not break teeth from clenching my jaw.
I imagine because “bottom feeding,
turd hammering, man gravy gargling, pillow biting, butt nugget munching cocksucker ” wouldn’t fit on his full “C cup” moob.
But….that’s just a guess.
Indeed one of the strongest kids in our unit was called turd pants because he got sick at PT and sharted himself…nobody called him Tank, or Hulk, they called him Turd Pants for the rest of his days….
Shit, I got called Whistler in Helmund because on patrol one day I heard this loud whistling noise roar past my ear. I looked at my squad mate and asked “What was that? Did you hear that whistling noise?” Squad leader turns back and yells at us “SNIPER!!!” and we all take cover. I literally came within an earshot of getting my fuckin’head blown off.
When we got back to base…I was Whistler.
I was bald, and supremely pale. “Powder” followed me around for 20 friggen years.
We had one fellow in my unit who was E4/14 (yes, 14) before he got put out after Desert Storm … his nickname was “Specialist Major”
At least he was a Dessert Storm veteran!
I was called the “Farmer”. I would get drunk and herd all the fat chicks to the barracks.
My nickname is PhukFace. Hence the moniker, and yes I own it; and yes it is embarrassing.
When I ETS’ed, SGT Mike and LT Mike gave me a Zippo with 2/17 Air Cav Sabre Heliport engraved on one side and their nickname for me on the other. I have the lighter. My nickname was…damn. Gotta go.
Mine was “LASE BOOM”!
When I was up-training from the M60A3 to the M1 tank in the gunner position on a live fire range, the trainer (TC) would give me the target description. I would yell out “Identified”, lay the sight on the target, push the laser rangefinder buttons on the “Cadillacs” while yelling out “Lasing”……as I simultaneously squeezed the trigger causing the gun to go “BOOM”! Needless to say, the TC was not pleased…multiple times. 🙂
When I retired, the guys gave me a Zippo with the words “LAZ BOOM” inscribed on it.
Story goes…
Was in Kirkuk in 2008 and a younger SSgt at the time. I was always known for quick dry wit and mouthed off to a few army droogs while in the clam shell. One of the cats decided to punk me while playing the time honored spades and said(after breaking his Nil with a good old off throw), “Well, aren’t you a silly little fuckface? Bet you wanna have a go now?” To which I replied, “Have at it, but you gotta give me a kiss first and I aint expecting a dry handy at the end of the night.” A couple of shoves were given and eventually someone broke us up.
And from then on, Me and “Dry Handy” were good buds, even though we wore different shades of the same uni. Fast forward three or so months, We were playing a good ole softball tourney with the same Army cats. MrFace was playing short and fielded a ground ball and instinctively threw it to first. In the path, a female intercepted the softball with her face. A couple of chicklets were gone but there wasnt any significant damage. MrFace felt bad so he sent a bouquet of candy to her shop as an apology, full of everlasting gobstoppers, blowpops, and, of course, jawbreakers. Dry Handy decides to walk over the next day to tell me I really am a FuckFace…
Needless to say, the title has stuck and I bastardized it a bit to fit more eloquent situations.
Cheers,
MrFace
Yup, mine was “Pyro.”
…. because all my pyrotechnics went off … in my jeep … in front of the battalion AAR at the NTC. And I swear that I never straightened the pins on my smoke and CS! (HONEST!!) The heat generated from the smokes burned up my wooden ammo box and also set off my grenade and arty simulators and starbursts. I un-assed that jeep while it was still moving, shrieking (IN COMING), and smoking.
Kinda like the Fourth of July …. but at noon; and not in July.
…in full view of the Chief of Operations Group, Green Team Leader, rotation commanders, and others.
It was a cool nickname, but everyone was in on the embarassment that bestowed my handle upon me.
And …. no statement of charges; no ass-chewing; no reflection on my OER … just mild ribbing for the rest of my assignment. The LTC Green Team Chief (Scorpion-1) told me to go to the motor pool and sign out another jeep.
Ahhhhh …. back when Ft. Irwin was the US Army’s last frontier post.
Mine was “Boo Boo Bear”. Why? Because the guy who taught me to work the flight deck was nicknamed Yogi because he was a huge Yogi Bera fan and would always quote him.
So I got stuck by association.
Nothing like having an admiral come up behind you, see it plastered on your cranial and say “Hey, Boo Boo, let’s go grab us a pic-a-nic basket!”
Followed me forever.
I was Grumpy. It was one of those opposite meaning nicknames because I was always such a bright ray of sunshine on cloudy days.
I just have to see these in the same place, so here goes:
Phuk Face, Grumpy, Boo Boo Bear, Hook, Pyro, Turd Pants, Kurt Russell, Farmer, Powder, and Specialist Major.
Can you imagine the venue?
>:)
Hack’s nickname was The Beav, as in Beaver Cleaver. Why was Hack cursed with such good looks. It didn’t help that Hack’s sister sent him a Beaver Cleaver t-shirt, which he wore quite often.
One time at 1st Tracks (1st Tracks, not band camp), we were deployed to Fuji for an extended stay, and it was highjinks time, so Hack and a few tankers decided to move all of a Motor-T driver’s possessions (rack and wall locker) outside for the rain. He came back from town all shit-faced, then called me a “Beaver Cleaver looking mother fucker”. For some reason, Hack did not feel slighted.
Even among Civil War Reenactment groups one gets nicknamed from past fuckups. We had “Cookie” “Private Luke”, “Polkfish” and “Stash” to name a few.
Mine was “Fraggle”. It comes from my originally red hair and my daughter’s love of Fraggle Rock. I got the nick name when my goodwife and daughter dropped by the shop. One of the crew asked my 3 year old Fraggle Rock fan what she was up to, she replied they dropping off Fraggle Rock Red’s lunch.
Only nickname I ever had was “Six” (the radio call-sign suffix for the company commander). My company CP guys (three RTO’s, arty FO and company medic) always referred to me as “Six,” so it became my name for about six months. For almost a year when I heard someone say “six,” I would say “huh?” or “what?”.
My dad was in Det. B-33 as RF/PF advisor (66-67, Camp Widder, An Loc/Hon Quan). His nickname was “Strangelove.”
Got my nickname before I ever got to my first boat.
The entire Engineering Department chanted it my first morning on board at Quarters on the pier.
RUMP!
1969 (1970 ?) Field Med School, Pendleton, had to name parts of the 45 during reassembly. Nailed all but one part, the barrel bushing. So the Corpsmen called me barrel bushing which the grunts shortened to BB and, sometimes, Baby. Didn’t bother me. Best tours I had was with the Marines.
This turd? Took longer to do the tat (nice tat, BTW) than he was on AD. He is condemned to Google shame until the end of time. His color selection might suggest something but, hey, that’s just a guess.
My uncle gained a shit ton of weight from the “fine eating” on the sub (his words, I wouldn’t know) and became known as “Sugar Bear.”
USS Sam Houston.
Korea, 1988. PLT office only had one phone, LT wanted one on his desk too. So PFC D acquired a phone and began installing it, only to realize I had no stripping tools, even forgot my knife that morning. So, being resourceful, I stripped a couple inches of some WD-1 with my teeth and connected it to the C block. I was stripping the other end in the same manner, when the phone rang.
After the stars cleared and I could think again, my PSG says “You ok, D?”. I replied “Yeah. Ringtone is spot on 1600Hz but the dialtone is intermittent”.
I was then officially “dialtone” till I PCS’d.
I don’t care who ya are, but thats funny right there.
I bet you can still taste it…
I got “possum” (or is it opossum?). Not for sleeping in the office on a cushy bed of chem suits. I got it for a supposed resemblance in my nasal region.
Could have been worse. I once was so hungover coming back to base after a bivouac that I ran off the bus and barfed repeatedly in the grass. Right in front of the door into the building, so literally the entire squadron walked by and laughed at me. Still can’t believe I wasn’t talked to about that one. Maybe they thought I’d already been punished enough.
I have American Indian in me, but my buddies said I looked Hispanic because I was always fairly well tanned. So I became “Juan”. My last name is Kunkel so that was shortened to Kunk, which was soon changed to Kunt and that soon matriculated into Juan Kunt. When I made corporal, I became Corporal Kunt and finally just Kunt. A few years after getting out, a buddy, Dellerson, calls the house and ask my wife if “Kunt was home?” Talk about a tough one to explain.
Whiz Wheel says:
Malcolm McNair Morley scores more name points (34) than he has for days (29) of “service”.
Apply multiplier as appropriate per your level of disgust for final results.
He has fewer days in service than John Giduck, that alone ought to qualify him for Full Retard Points®™️!
Love the auto erotic asphyxiation look.
Couldn’t hack it in 1st RTBN? Weak sauce.
30 days on the island, which also includes ELS and out processing. Which probably means he shit the bed in receiving and didn’t even make it to forming. BEEEEYOOOOOTCH.
Anyone wanna bet he was a MOT pop?
Moment of truth pop?
Probably, because he continues to lie.
This one is going to require a special multiplier for “Full Rutabaga Sex Toy With Extra Moobs.”
So glad I’ve already got breakfast down.
Whiz Wheel says request approved and the result is:
Special multiplier of eight (8) applied to Malcolm McNair Morley (FRSTWBHPNTAEM)* resulting in a final score of 272.
*Full Rutabaga Sex Toy With Banana Hammock, Pink Neck Tie And Extra Moobs
“So Let It Be Written, So Let It Be Done.”
Some of these guys really do look like they couldn’t have made it past the first 10 days at WAVES boot camp in the 1960s. And I’m sure that ours was mild compared to the WMs boot camp for the same period.
So my sympathy button is broken, irreparably, and this dude needs to spend some time doing that pushing exercise, the one that moves you away from the table.
The ONLY sympathy I have for goobs like him is found somewhere between “shit” and “”syphilis” in a dictionary.
He had himself tattooed, that says more than anything I could write…..FFS
Hopefully he at least got some pookie along the way for it.
I think he had it tattooed on his back so his secret squirrel club buddies could admire it when he is doing some “catching” during their meetings.
What, exactly, is a Lance “Corpal”? Is there a secret Marine Corps rank I don’t know about?
Short for “corpuscle,” a tiny organism. In this case his brain or Johnson. Not to apply to his gut, tattoo or moobs.
With those moobs, we’re talking both low T and high estrogen. His Johnson is probably a microscope job.
He probably meant “Lance Criminal”.
Funny how he claims to have been “meritoriously promoted” to that rank.
Corpal – a noun abbreviated from the root word corpulent, to identify and quickly describe those whose corpulence is approaching the next stage of excessive flesh development.
Maybe he’s just a friendly guy who wants to be the whole Corps’ “pal”. (smile)
I’m gonna take a guess and say that Tubby here meant to say “lance Corpulent”.
Maybe he developed Corpal (Conjugal) Tunnel Syndrome from jailhouse dates with Bubba, Thor, Julio and “Mr. Tiny”?
He means Lance “Corporal,” the Girene (jarhead) rank for Army PFC (E-3). Spelling is harder than math for some low IQ types.
So did this rabid cocksucker do his 29 days at 29 Palms? I bet he humped each one of those trees! I would like to remove his tattoo with my chainsaw! I hope some real Marines find this shitstain in a dark alley somewhere and beat him a lesson! Enjoy your Google fame there cocksucker!!!
Guy was still walking around with his cammies unbloused and his cover pulled down around his ears. What a turd, bet he was the guy crying for mommy in the middle of the night.
Lance Corporal Team Leader in FORECON…that would be quite special.
Yes indeed.
It’s always Force Recon and Scout Sniper with these poser assclowns.
— sigh —
Maybe he was a certified Foreskin Recon out behind The Blue Oyster?
Nope, this isn’t gay at all, nope, no way, not a bit.
/nttawwt
Another sooperseekrit rump riding recon team member of Fecal Force Five that engages in butt sniping over at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear) and participates in the weekly “Fisting Friday” events at the Blue Oyster…
Nice tits. He must be real popular at The Blue Oyster.
As well as at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
Musta been hell dragging those moobs on the ground when he was low crawling……that is if his stomach allowed them to touch the ground.
I got the nickname Moll, because I am 6’4 and bald, and Richard Moll played Bull Shannon in the sitcom Night Court.
Now why couldn’t this fuckhead die and PVT Vega live?
Life aint fair.
I hate that fact.
What, no service dog?
Maybe he is a secret squirrel and that is why his DD214 is incomplete.
Change the words on that tattoo to Saggy, Sad and Doughy.
I could have gone without seeing this today.
Obviously someone who would put that big of a marine corps tattoo on their back and chest is insane.
And very immature.
So, let me get this straight.
He spent 29 days in the USMC and he is a Sniper.
What the hell is going on in the USMC?
Holy crap, we have to fix this.
Out.
With only 29 days into boot camp, I doubt he had progressed beyond learning how to make his bed and some “Drill and Ceremonies” marching on the grinder. He prolly hadn’t even made it to the first day on the range. But maybe he is counting his quals as a butt sniper at Brucie’s bathhouse.
Yet another Golden Corral Assault Commando out in the Google ®™️ limelight.
In a few years he’ll be at the doorstep of the VA claiming he caught the PTSD for some heroic bullshit. Or, maybe, he’ll just blame it all on the trauma of boot camp.
Failure to adapt for sure, but he has the ink so he must be legit, what a moron.
Malcolm Mor-phony.