Tim Clark; phony SEAL
Our partners at Military Phonies send us their work on this robust-sized Tim Clark guy who claims he was a Navy SEAL. Here’s a picture of him on the hunt for Bin Laden;
It must be true, because the person pictured is wearing the same patch I wore when I was teaching in Cadet Command (ROTC) – we were real badasses hunting down our nation’s enemies from college campuses across the country.
Here are some more recent pictures of him hunting down a jelly doughnut or twelve;
The National Personnel Records Center says “Who?”
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
No phony like a never served phony.
Well, the ones that have serve are technically “embellishers”. Phonies all the same, but when I see the term phony I automatically think of dirtbags like this dude.
“2006 in Afghanistan” “I believe we were looking for Bin Laden during that time.”
This had to have been a very short lived charade on Facebook. I can’t imagine that many people falling for this idiocy.
I think that’s what I did in Afghanistan…. I’m just not sure…..
How many jelly donuts does this goof have in his foot locker?
All of them
Actually zero…he keeps exhausting his inventory
He doesn’t have a foot locker. Never had one, and likely doesn’t know what one looks like. But I have to agree, he has had more than his fair share of the jelly donuts.
He never met a meal that he didn’t like.
A JELLY DONUT??
ARE YOU ALLOWED TO HAVE FOOD IN THE BARRACKS PRIVATE PYLE?
Well of course you’re a SEAL…what else could you be.
Shit, you’re so secret not one service branch knows your name.
Fuckstick…
and to channel Ex-OS2:
Cocksucker!
Sure, just like the “A” Team and the French Foreign Legion, they always recruit SEALS that have a 22 page rap sheet. Watch out, he’s a trained killer!
ARE YOU ALLOWED TO HAVE CHOW AT YOUR COMPUTER WHILE YOU ARE MAKING UP SHIT ABOUT YOURSELF, PVT PYLE??!!
Sir, no sir!
ARE YOU ALLOWED TO EAT JELLY DONUTS, PVT PYLE??!!
Sir, no sir!
AND WHY NOT, PVT PYLE??!!
Sir, because I’m too heavy, sir!!
Because you’re a disgusting FATBODY, Private Pyle!
Dude I was literally eating a danish at my computer when I read that. The voice of GySgt Hartman exploded in my head and I unfucked myself and shit him a pair of tiffany cufflinks.
YET ANOTHER pisspants booger-eating wonder of a Jelly Doughnut Assassin gets caught spouting off, I wonder if he got sweaty palms while making up the FICTION stories of his alleged military past?
“Been around the world twice. Talked to everyone once. Seen two whales fuck, been to three world fairs. And I met an old man in Thailand with a wooden cock. Pushed more peter, more sweeter and more completer than any other peter pusher around. I’m a hard bodied, hairy chested, rootin’ tootin’ shootin’, parachutin’ demolition double cap crimpin’ frogman.”
I’m thinking the only thing Tim Clark did was see an old man’s wooden cock.
He probably got wood splinters in his mouth sucking that old man off…
Sooooo that’s what he meant when he was overheard saying…”I had a nice piece of ash in Thailand”.
Can you drive trucks?
😉
The kind with the brakes that go ‘Shhh Shhh’ and bend in the middle? 😉
Robust… another word for substantial bulk. Now I know where the weight I lost ended up. He’s wearing it.
All those guns he claims he’s got: does ATF know about him?
World’s easiest weight loss plan: stand next to someone like this. Anyone looks like they instantly lost 50 pounds.
Tim Clark – sooper seekrit skwirrl butt sniper
I have this vision in my head of freshmen and sophomore basic ROTC cadets deployed to Afghanistan in 2006 conducting the hunt for OBL, with Fatbody here as cadet company commander…it would have been really interesting…
Kind of like a SEAL version of McHale’s Navy, albeit a far less humorous and entertaining one.
With this portly pud as the clown of crew.
“I believe…”
‘Grab your mob platoon and go drive around the countryside. Mission? Op? Orders? Whatever dude. Don’t sweat the details, we’ll get back to you later.
And make sure every one of your amphibious killers is rocking an ROTC patch.’
Seems legit. 😉
I was thinking this guy is a turd burglar, and low and behold, I see he has a record as a burglar and has been a turd in his dealings with law enforcement.
Cocksucker!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Shack.
Floridian???????????????????????????????????????????
Looks like one of those seals that used to be on the Ed Sullivan show honking those bicycle horns that were mounted on a piece of pipe.
Not only does he not have a footlocker, he was also believe he might have been banned from working in them. Something to do with sniffing sneakers and jelly globs inside the shoes.
Pardon my grammar. It should read “it is also believed he might….”
The only thing this dude hunts are cocks and donuts.
Maggot. And a fat one at that.
Reminds me of a box of donuts delivered to a sorority house. The girls squealed with delight as they gobbled them down.
Then, they get a card delivered from the frat boys that sent the donuts, complete with a photo of the boys “wearing” the donuts.
They sure fed SEALS 4 Course meals in the field back then.
He was a member of MEAL Team 6.
As an old stewburner in the Navy I don’t remember what the Meal Team 6 Patch looks like. Got out 2 Jan 84 and there were quite a few who would have qualified for Meal team 3 or 4.
I would like to nominate this shitbird for the Wall of Insults please. Can I get a second?
I Second the motion.
Even though this fatboy is a faker, a fraud, and a total phony, I don’t believe his douchery rises to the level of the TAH WoI…….yet. There is time to wait and watch to see where this fat frat fraud goes next. Therefore, I will say “nay” (neigh?) to the request……for now.
I’m going to rule pause and hold for the WOI. And even with more consideration, no.
He’s a faker with no service and everyone with any common sense can see he’s a whale and not a SEAL.
Fat boy here would just EAT the esteemed Wall of Insults®™ aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus) and increase his mass.
I’m not risking opening up a gravitational singularity.
More like a walrus. No tusks, so either a female or the herd eunuch.
I just watched Lone Survivor and the first installment of the National Geographic mini series, The Long Road Home…
Now I read about this pukefacefucknutmorondonkeydicksucker trying to be something he has no cue about how difficult it is just to be in the military, no matter where or when you served…
This really pisses me off, I hate these fucks, with a passion…
This^^^^.
IS a SEAL? He looks like he ATE a seal. (arf! arf!)
MEAL Team Six!!! They’re everywhere!
FB page has a picture that makes the impression that he’s a Coral Sea veteran. MF is bad at math too. He couldn’t have been more than 3 when it was decommed.
This site is amazing, it wasn’t “cool” to serve when I was a lowly grunt in the 70’s. Thanks to sites like this I now know the first Seal/POW I met in 72’was a phoney POS. I wish I could have outed him. Keep up the fire!