Jack Berryman, phony wounded SEAL
Cacti35 sent us this guy, Jack Berryman, who claims to be a former SEAL, that he’s been wounded in combat and that he’s currently a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy.
The Navy says that their relationship with him began in 1977 and ended in 1980, that he was a seaman recruit (an E-1) when he was discharged. I’m quite certain there were no Purple Hearts awarded during that period.
Judging by that picture at the top of the post, he’s been at this for a long time.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
I hate douchebags like him. They are an embarrassment. Throw the book at him.
I like those elastostretch cammies those three beefy lads are sporting…
Just Guessin: Look at the length of the barrels on those rifles they’re sporting.
Are these are civilian weapons?
Some kinda dress up militia stuff?
Wonder how long it would take these DoughyBoys to get winded?
Did he get wounded at the buffet table?
Those Early Bird Special crowds can be rough!
He never was wounded in the service. If he has a purple heart, he bought it someplace.
Probably from the gift shop at “All-Points Logistics”.
Merritt Island, Florida.
I wonder if the False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) personally autographed it?
I know “Phildo” would have been the first in line in the buffet line.
It’s plausible.
Unless “Ranger” Burrell was in from front him….
Shitbags.
Maybe he was wounded in the stampede for 50% off Nachos Grande?
Golden Corral leads to a Purple Heart.
My guess is that’s less of a military award in his case and more of an actual health problem…
The buffet line broke his taint and gave him a case of Dunlop’s Disease (his belly DUNLOP over his belt).
Looks like a beer belly under his chin…..is that a crop?
http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/pc/TRY+PRISON+DIET+Obsese+gang+member+caught+XINhNsmtMG3l.jpg
That’s not a beer belly chin, that’s a nut test for this cocksucker poser!
Turkey wattles, Doc. Turkey wattles.
Operation Golden Corral
Damn that’s funny!
Your plate is too low Striker! Fill it up,fill it up!!
I need to hang up my keyboard…I cannot compete with that!
I’ll never get over Nacho Grande.
Effective immediately, the new Navy PRT run will be 1.5 laps around this guy, rather than the current 1.5 miles.
To pass you must do it in under a week.
fuck… can I gundeck my PRT then?
WOW, he rocketed to E1 in that amount of time? I’m guessing he had to have been a stellar dickstepper. He looks like he NEVER met a jelly doughnut he didn’t like, what a limp-dicked, no-load pus-nuts POS of a lying assed booger-eating bedwetting thumbsucking pisspants buck-toothed inbred Swamp Donkey of a cocksucker!
Made E-2, but also looks like he never made it past that.
Pretty interesting, considering back then it was automatic E-3 after 9 months.
Also love how he spent a VERY significant portion of his career in Balboa hospital. (See the RECTREAT code.)
Be interesting to see his 214.
As a kid, he had three lungs. 2 regular and one growth. The growth was removed. He was healthy when he went in. His dad adopted dad was friends with many congressmen. They got him a medical discharge with full medical after he had been classified as a deserter. They used the 3rd lung as excuse to get him full benefits.
I think that his being busted down to SR from SA before he left the Navy means he was found to be faking some medical condition.
It that button by accident. He still got full medical benefits!
He left Orlando as an E-2 (SA), got busted to SR (E-1) before he was booted out? He must have been a total fusterclucker. Gee, and the war was over, so what was he claiming? Time in the Viet of the Nam? I think he got caught doing something extremely stupid.
Where ex-OS2???
ex-OS2:
We have another phony SEAL that has been flushed out into the open this morning.
Target is easily identifiable by its extreme corpulence and ever-increasing pile of poser bullshit.
Recommend that expend all on your first pass in order to fully cover the entire target.
You are cleared hot.
Cocksucker.
Cocksucker.
Cocksucker.
Cocksucker.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
(followed by multiple secondaries, and a porcine high-pitched squealing)
I believe old E-1 Commander washout Jack Berryman deserves the personalized “WALL O INSULTS”.
Do I have a second and follow up Aye?
Second! Fire when ready!
Och, aye!!!
TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!! DANGER CLOSE!!!! MOPP LEVEL 4!!! TAKE COVER!!!!! Jack Berryman, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, gaping, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, sperm burping, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying, Bowl of ass soup, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, waste of oxygen, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, culo de chongo, booger eating, bed wetting, window licker, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, moron, asshat, dick pickle, wanker, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, knob gobbling, galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, douche nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, Sitzpinkler, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee), NOT a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy, NOT a Navy SEAL, NOT Wounded. Did NOT receive the Purple Heart, Was an E-1 WASHOUT, fat fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, test subject… Read more »
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
(bright flash; ground shakes; huge mushroom cloud)
As always, your literary contributions to the “WALL O INSULTS” are always welcome and will be included as long as they aren’t too duplicative.
I don’t want to say that fake Navy Seals would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstraps as facemasks, but I would sure bet that Jack would like to very much
BBBWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
THAT is being added to the WALL O INSULTS
*Snerk* LMMFAO
Always glad to help
Speaking as an IT professional, some people could be replaced by a button that no one ever pushes.
HEY NOW!!!
Are you insinuating that my nickname should be “Scroll Lock?”
Just trying to contribute to the text-bomb project.
Maybe add “Microcephalic Toad Licker”
Got it!
Useles as an “eight” key on a microwave.
ChipNASA,
you are my fucking hero! I owe you a coin and a cold beverage of your choice!
Chief, I bet a salty fucker like you can add additional verbiage.
*Salute*
Jack Berryman was my brother-in-law at the time. His foster dad, Len Berryman (Bridgeport WA.) was well known in the government. His father, Len had friends’ way up high such Congressman Tom Foley. Jack went AWOL and after being gone almost a year, they listed him as a deserter. He showed up one day out of the blue when his mom had a break down partially due to him missing. He walked into the hospital as if nothing was wrong. Len convinced him to turn himself in and requested the help of his government friends claiming Jack was not medically fit when the Navy accepted him. He kept out of prison and got all the medical benefits a good soldier gets!
According to his ex-brother in law, he was AWOL for quite some time and the fact that his father had some connections with a congresscritter kept him out of the brig. That explains the end of his 3 years of stellar service as an E-1.
It appears that this world has a never-ending supply of idiots.
Is that the Navy Cross he’s wearing in his pretend picture? As was said, it appears he has been at this for quite a while.
A stellar career nonetheless. E-1 after only 33 months. Enviable. He should pay dearly for wearing the Navy Cross. It does appear to be the Navy Cross. Shameful
Sad sack of dicks.
Looks like a Navy Cross to me…da fukk is with that rack…rows of three and then a pyramid at the top. Queefsquirt.
LOL LtCDR he joined in 1977 -That fat ass could never get upon the jump tower at ft benning.
Looks as if we may end the week with yet another pretend SEAL. I wish you fake Rangers, etc. would step up.
Now that “Six” has concluded on the History Channel maybe the wannabes will give it a break.
That’s right! I forgot that show was on. More info fodder for the fakes.
Fake to know-nothing “Episode 3 was based on me…”
Hey,
WE fake Rangers (sarc.) don’t get the publicity you SEAL’s do.
(I am not a Ranger, just leg infantry)
Looks like he tried to go to HM “A” school in San Diego (entry after RTC Orlando), but couldn’t cut it – he was there less than a month, and they made him an IBM (Instant Boatswain’s Mate). Gets booted out after being treated at the hospital as an E-1? That case of Fractured Taint Syndrome must have been a motherfucker for him to get over.
JACK BERRYMAN – COCKSUCKING ASS HAMSTER!
Also – the bottom pic. I wonder if the other two in it are REAL DEAL COCKSUCKING ASS HAMSTERS like JACK BERRYMAN?
That photo is embarrassing.
Three fat fucks reenacting something that only happened in their minds.
Playing the much-beloved ‘Phony SEAL Dress-Up Game’ at the International Poser Jamboree.
With apologies to HMCS(FMF) ret for not striking out “Ass Hamster”, as he has propitiatory trademark of this particular insult, however ongoing consideration figures that if you see a similar insult being used individually by other poster and before the WALL O INSULTS have been posted, I’ve been asked or given to add their particular insult to the list.
Thanksyouverymuchly.
ChipNASA – you can use it any time to PIMPSLAP DA FUCK OUT of any gerbil-felching, Phildo-using, taint tickling, hobo-blowing, ballsack-working poseur!
I added Gerbil to the list because it wasn’t there and it improves felching.
Probably made it through just enough of HM “A” to become a permanent fixture at Sick Call.
How can anyone be fooled by an active duty SEAL with a double chin?
Wonder if the two guys posing with him in the DCU’s are just as fake as him.
The photo of the three doofuses in DCUs looks like it was taken at a historical reenactment/living history camp-out set-up. The M2 .50 cal at the front of the photo looks like it was set up as a display item for the visitors…
Maybe it was an airsoft commando poser convention?
It’s an airsoft Ma Deuce
OIF:
I was thinking the same thing. How could anyone possibly believe that this assclown is an actual active duty SEAL?
Even old, retired SEALs never let themselves go to that extent.
People believe it because they want to tell their associates that “I know this SEAL commander who was wounded…..”.
That’s my take anyway.
Not SEAL,
An elite WALRUS
Worthless Asshole Lying Rat, Unusually Stupid
Koo Koo Kachoo!
Perhaps an Elephant Seal?
Dipshit
I am not a veteran, don’t know weapons and am not a Navy SEAL. But I do have a question about that picture with the DCU. The middle guy. I can’t figure out the type of weapon it’s supposed to be. I don’t see a barrel. Please don’t flame and mock. I am asking as I just don’t get what they are trying to do.
Andy Kravetz, reporter
Peoria (Ill.) Journal Star
Don’t worry, Mr. Kravitz, no mocking/flaming from me. It’s kinda fuzzy, but it appears to be a CAR-15 .223 or 9mm carbine with the pull-out stock extended and with a very short barrel. Such a shortened barrel would make this a “short barreled rifle” (SBR), which would require ATF paperwork and permission to own. I may be wrong, but that’s what it kind of looks like to me…
Andy, Atkron is correct; the barrel of the firearm in question is kind of camouflaged, but it is there. That would make the firearm a CAR-15 or M4-type .223 carbine with a standard 16-inch carbine barrel…
note the Ma deuce. This could have been some reenactment event with blank firing or inactivated weapons. Also, at first glance the 16 inch version can seem small, but the barrel seems to stick out infront of the front sight post far enough for me to think it is probably a 16 in barrel. The AR I own is also a 16 in, and with the butt stock collapsed it really doesn’t feel longer than the M4 I carried, untill I look at how far everything sticks out infront og the sight.
Andy, the barrel is in front of his leg, it kind of blends in with the camo.
What is he trying to do? Look like a badass…
all three of the weapons appear to be AR-15 variants. the guy in the middle is holding his at a funny angle but the lines of it say AR-15 to me. I can also see a fixed front sight and a collapsible butt stock. Def a AR-15 aka scary black rifle that needs to be banned because it’s looks make it more deadlier. /sarc
Concur, they are ARs. The one on the right is a little odd, he has what appears to be an offset mounted flashlight on it. None of them appear to have quad rails, I guess the extra few bucks was beyond their budgets. The guy on the right is wearing a mix of camo styles. Reenactment or at best some kinda pseudo-militia campfire circlejerk.
Thanks. I thought they were in the M16 or Mr or AR-15 family. But I couldn’t see the barrel of the weapon for the middle guy. I kinda see it now. I am old, 47, so the eyes aren’t that great. As for flames… I know the regulars don’t but I didn’t want some guy blasting on me for not knowing what an AR-15 or a CAR or a M4 is. To me, they all kinda look the same with the M4 kinds being shorter. Either way, I appreciate it. Take care and have a good day.
Andy Kravetz, reporter
Peoria (Ill.) Journal Star
Please do me a favor, when you write your stories, start calling them Modern Sporting Rifles (MSR). For some reason the world thinks AR means Assault Rifle.
It’s only an assault rifle if it has that thingy in the back that goes up.
And a ‘flash processor’.
Andy – We don’t flame and mock honest questions here – at least as a rule.
I know that the folks at TAH have always treated me (also not-a-veteran) with respect – well as much as one would expect from a bunch of military goons.
” bunch of military goons. ”
HEY, I resemble that remark….
I’ll have you know that I’m much more than just another “military goon”.
I’m also a proud deplorable.
I’ll stick with being referred to as, “dickweed,” thanks very much.
Andy, let me welcome you to TAH. I will extend that courtesy to you b/c all the others on this site are low life miscreants lacking in social graces and therefore do not practice proper etiquette and did not extend a proper welcome. So, Andy, welcome.
Bwhaaaa
Equal opportunity offenders…
It is an likely an AR-15 variant with and M-4 style 16 inch barrel and an extended collapsible M-4 style stock. Trust us, these three clowns in the photo are not real Navy SEAL officers. What they are trying to do is play dress-up and pose as something they are not and never were.
The movie Under Siege was a biopic of this guy. He’s the original Chief Casey Rybeck.
Not a chance. Casey Rybeck also cooks. This guy just inhales off the plate.
If this is true, I’d say say he’s been sampling his wares waayyy too much.
This motherfucker, and all like him never understood the Navy Motto: Non Sibi Sed Patriae
Jack Berryman is an attention seeking BITCH.
“Judging by that picture at the top of the post, he’s been at this for a long time.”
That was my first thought as well when I saw the older picture. He’s spent so long pretending to be a SEAL, it’s part of his life. I would be willing to bet he will go to his grave holding on to his lies. Also, the fact he got bounced from the Navy as an E-nothing in the post Vietnam era tells you what kind of a guy he is. He’s probably been telling his lies since he hit the street back in 80.
No, his son was doing some research on the family and came across the information. He told his mom, his mom called my ex-wife and she told her the truth. His wife is worried, she does not know what to do now because all her family believes his stories. I told her to let him know she is aware and try and work it out. I know he was bounced around foster homes the first 10 years of his life as was my ex-wife. They both lacked self esteem. I don’t think his actions should punish his wife. I told her to do what she thought was best. Sometimes we have to forgive if he comes clean. It was her call.
No, he won’t go to his grave thinking he fooled everyone. The truth came out thanks to sites like this. I was posted to my children’s FB page and since he is their uncle and his family are friends with my kids, it made it all the way to his wife who now questions who she is married to. He is paying dearly for these lies now to his wife’s side of the family. My daughter was thankful because she is married to a Marine who was wounded in sandbox!
Loser.
Cloaked in the ever popular “sand blivet” camo pattern.
CAUTION…..CAUTION…..CAUTION….
There be some Glitter Hippos ahead…..
Good grief lol
The perfect counterpart to the Rotund Ranger, the Liar of Lenoir, William Derek Church.
God the fun we had with him. Nothing like Niko De’lezoda though.
He was my all time favorite
I was on convalescent leave for 6 weeks when that one went down
I had the fake Niko facebook page rocking for nearly a week. We had a lot of fun with that one.
I now have a weekend research project. Thank you, sir.
Yes Niko page cracked me up,, I think when Jimmy Carter called him for his potato salad recipe I lost my shit…
Just noticed that on his FOIA that he was “Diccharged”. That is very appropriate for this POS Dick.
With the amount of information one can obtain through the internet and at the speed it can be verified, don’t these dumb*sses know they’re going to be outed? The MOH,SC/NC/AFC, Silver star, they’re not handed out like candy. Also, belonging to any “high speed, low drag” type of outfit(MARSOC, Force Recon, SEALS, SF, Rangers, PJs, etc)is also easily verifiable through records or by folks being there at the place and time these *sswipes claim they belonged in these units. But what really blows my mind, is when they claim POW status, and multiple POW status, to boot. We’ve had so few POWs since Vietnam ended that even the stupidest poser should know that ANY American serviceman captured would be featured on all the news medias immediately. Don’t get me going on the vet/biker correlation. Now, nothing against motorcycles, been riding one since before enlisting and still do, but I’ve never sported the vest or a beret (as a retired Marine, I have a natural avoidance/objection of the latter). And the old “I want to feel the camaraderie we had when I served, which, belonging to a riders club, brings back” story is getting old and worn. The so-called homeless vet story also gnaws at me. I’m sure that most are not vets, but I’m also sure that some are. What gets me about them is that very few have made a career of the military and the majority that served did a stint or two and got out. Now, I find it disingenuous to use a relatively short time of one’s life, which was followed by many more years of whatever, afterwards, to seek pity and money/favors from others. The majority of people with no knowledge of the military, when they hear the word ‘veteran’ associate it with an image of a combat participant suffering from PTSD brought upon by the horrors he/she saw or the so-called atrocities they participated in. They are not aware that millions served who never saw overseas deployments or combat, never shot a round in anger, served during peacetime stateside or overseas at U.S. bases,… Read more »
Many good points and I’d guess that more than a few of us would agree with them.
I’m on board.
A couple things get my “agent orange going” (Major Payne), and these types are one of them.
You wouldn’t believe how much ‘white-out’ I have on my screen after typing that little essay…
The constant references to PTSD in/by the lamebrained media stem partly from ignorance – about 10% – and partly from the fact that it gives those morons some sort of wet-dream thrill to use that term, even when it does not apply.
Without it, and without the majority of us doing anything bad or stupid, just having ordinary, everyday lives, we’re too boring for words to them.
3 years after I retired, I finally got an appointment at the VA. The psychiatrist that interviewed me practically begged me to admit I suffered from PTSD. She couldn’t believe I answered no to her questions about waking up in sweats, having bad dreams, all the typical cliques associated to PTSD. Don’t know if they(the VA) was trying to over compensate for the poor press they were receiving at the time that they thought getting more PTSD cases would show how much they were on top of it.
The only thing that I suffered from was not getting to eat in the chow hall after retiring! (I know, I know, but they’ve come a long way from when I was a boot)
When my friends ask me what I miss about the Marine Corps I tell them the Omelets they served for brunch on the weekends.
There was a Terminal Lance Cartoon strip that addressed USMC cook school.
He said the spent 7 weeks learning how to make the best omelets in the world and half a day learning to make shitty box lunches for Marines to take on long bus rides.
I remarked to some folks at the State Capitol about people holding up signs stating, “homeless vet, will work for food”. The “homeless vet” was in the Military for, what, 2, 3, 4 years, if at all? They were in public school for 12 years. This needs to be considered when the Military is criticized for not teaching them how to make a living in the world.
Me, I became a Vet because I can’t spell vetra, veter, vetri, animal doctor the same way three times in a row.
Dingleberryman is starting damage control on his FB page. What a surprise.
I love it when that happens because it shows they’ve been caught and then they KNOW about it AND we KNOW they KNOW about it.
GOOGLE IS FOREVER SHIT HEAD.
And now the page is gone altogether. We’ll see if he lays low for a while or comes back with a “corrected” page.
Holy Fuck…he lives in my County.
In his profile photo he is standing in front of a Sound Transit commuter train, that runs from Everett to Seattle.
I don’t think he works security for them. Usually it is King County Sheriff’s Office that does that.
But the Transit Station (local buses, trains, greyhound) in Everett itself does have security.
Maybe they need to know what kind of turd they have walking around ‘protecting’ commuters.
http://everetttransit.org/148/Everett-Station
I take that back he does work security for Sound Transit…here is their email address:
main@soundtransit.org
I just contacted KCPQ the local FOX affiliate.
Okay, I’m not interested in making anyone lose his job. I’m only interested in stopping his crapazoidal lying. He’s getting close to retirement, anyway. I think it’s best to not destroy, but rather, just get him to shut up and admit publicly that he’s been a lying sack of toadsnot for decades.
Good thing you are our den mother…otherwise torches and pitchforks!
Here’s a way off-topic question: Does Sound Transit make stops at those drive-thru coffee places with the topless baristas?
I’m asking for Poetrooper…
Sorry Fellers…I think the ones with the pasties went away when the owner and a Sheriff Deputy got busted.
SEAL? No. Pork chop? Yes.
So, my question: What conflict does he profess to have been awarded the Purple Heart? Dude looks like he’s about my age (late 50s) and I was 15 and in high school when Saigon fell. Maybe there was a secret “teenage Seal unit” in ‘Nam.
He was a tunnel rat with a flashlight and 45 in Viet of the Nam. He has the petite body for the job. He was 12 at the time and had a hatred for the Cong of the Viet.
There, I fixed the timeline for youse all.
Thanks HMC….cleaning coffee off my keyboard as we speak.
Poof, his FB page has gone into obscurity.
HERE’S some raw footage of him telling a war story:
Operation puss gut, and his salad tossing twosome.
Jack Berry “your-cock-in-my-ass” Man.
Loser.
You guys slay me. After screaming at the TV during the news, I always come here for a little levity. TAH gang comments about posers always put a smile on my face and bring back my composure.
Meal Team 6 ?
Manhole Inspection Team 6.
Look at the collar bars on the first fat fuck on the left in the DCU photo….and the doofus on the right sure looks like a steely eyed killer SEAL to me.
WHAT do you say to a person of Jack Berryman’s caliber to break the ice? I assume something like “Haven’t we seen you at some of the better Garage Sales around town?
Don’t you just hate it when you go out of your way to share the new found fame this guy has, with him, and he deletes his Facebook! So ungrateful!!
Yeah, what a POOP STAIN!
Turd.