Rollie Matthew Abshire; Fake Navy SEAL
It seems the people over at militaryphony.com are backlogged with fake SEALS these days. Just a tip for SEAL posers, don’t ever try to claim you know a real one. Me thinks there be real ones hanging around these parts. Rollie Abshire likes to post claims of being a real Navy SEAL on social media and has pictures of him with all of his SEAL friends.
We cropped the picture for obvious reasons, but Mr. Luttrell and the rest of the people in that picture have no idea who this Rollie kid is. There are other claims of course and you can see them HERE I bet you are as shocked as I am that his records from a FOIA request don’t seem to jive with his claims.
I guess the investigators became curious about the duty assignment that was blacked out, so they looked it up.
I don’t think the NAVAL BRIG in Norfolk, VA is part of the training echelon for Navy SEALS. But hey, anything is possible with a guy the skyrocketed to E-1. Of course there is the tattoo, I can not leave out the tattoo. Removing that is going to leave a mark.
Maybe people don’t really understand that “An incredibly large Trident tattoo does not make you a SEAL.” Go figure.
Category: Navy
Rollie Matthew ABSHOLE, there fixed it.
Telling stories of how they played Candyland in THE Iraq.
Freaking Sparkle Pony.
Sorry, Green Thumb, I am going to beat you to this…
TURD.
Damn.
I slept in.
“You may fire when you are ready, Ex-OS2.”
FIRE MISSION!
I didn’t see that you guys had already requested ex-OS2 fire support on this target, so I also passed a ‘cleared hot’ to ex-OS2 in a post down below.
Hopefully he’ll be inbound and making his run on this target ASAP.
Cocksucker.
Good to see you back Hondo.
Request immediate re-attack.
Fucking cocksucker.
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Nothin’ left but kickers and screamers in the target area now.
Kickers and screamers… luckily I didn’t have any beverage on board when I saw that!
Literally.
Um, ex-OS2, might have been better to do the “Cocksucker” and “Good to see you back Hondo” in separate comments.
Just sayin’…
It would be great if there was an un-post button. My bad….
Hey, I think it works …
how come no one ever clams to be a clerk / typist?
But they do!
Stick to playing Candyland with your kid and stop telling lies about service. A kid needs a father who’s not full of shit. He doesn’t need a father who will tell him lies and fill his head with bullshit.
Fucking liar.
I agree.
A boy needs an honest, trustworthy father.
Rollie Abshire is not an honest, trustworthy father.
Rollie Abshire is not a SEAL.
Rollie Abshire does not even have his dolphins.
Rollie Abshire wouldn’t know what to do with a dolphin.
Rollie Abshire is a failure as a sailor.
Rollie Abshire is a failure as a father.
Rollie Abshire is a failure as a poser.
Good freaking grief!!! What the hell?
I wish it could me made so that guys like this, after busted, have to ride in a coffin for 6000 miles on an airplane. Then have a stolen valor ceremony where the coffin is delivered to a Arlington with real SEALS gathered. Then open the coffin and make him sit there for an hour amongst the fallen.
Better yet, make mouse shits like him attend say SEAL Reunions sans a shirt and let him ‘splain his tattoo to real SEALS sans any cameras, recording devices or outside witnesses present.
Yours is a much better idea than mine! That freaking tattoo…
Another candyassed pus-nuts no-load pisspants meat gazing wino ballsack aficionado Sparkle Pony of a DINGLEBERRY on a buck-toothed inbred Swamp Donkey’s ass. I wonder how many times he’s been in civilian confinement since the Navy rightfully threw his roach turd ass out with the previous day’s trash? I bet he’s never held a steady job since he was jettisoned as well.
Is it just me or does that look like an Eagle and Penis tattoo? I’m confused as to what branch of service that encompasses?
Have we had one claiming to be a SATCOM sekret skwerril yet?
I hear those are some bad hombres..LOL!
Smile like a doughnut….D-Bag
Busted down to FR?
Well, if he is NOT the stupidest ass on the planet, what is he?
If he qualified for “A” school, which could have given him a fine job in civilian life if he didn’t want to stay below the surface, and decided it was okay to really really really screw up, he only qualifies as one of the following:
1) – Turd
2) – Shitbird
3) – Dumbass bastard
4) – Asshole
5) – Fumbduckstickin’ crapweasel
6) – All of the above
Hmm… I think my cussin’ vocabulary is a bit short. Anyone want to add to it?
Shitstick
Shitlord
Fuckstick
Ass clown
Fudge packer
Penny farmer
Tosser
Wanker
Douschecanoe
How ’bout:
Bathhouse Gaylord
Gay Bar Pole Dancer
Volunteer Hernia Checker for Bus Stop Winos
Sphincter Sniffer
Bath House Meat gazer
Turd Burglar
Lemon Party Planner and Participant
Gay Bar Competition Pole Puffer
Wino Ballsack Aficionado
Poop Chute Prober
You guys just don’t understand. Take a look at his DD-214. He completed a 1 week “Trident” Hydraulics course and 1 week “Trident” ATM Support Maintenance course. Everyone knows that “Trident” equals SEAL. In fact as I understand it, anyone who has ever served on a “Trident” submarine is in fact an honorary SEAL.
Well well… I graduated BIT at the Trident Training Facility in King’s Bay, Georgia …sooo
…nah
So lemme get this straight…spent almost 2 years on the boat as A FUCKING A-GANGER and STILL never got qualified?
Shitbag personified.
And I know a couple of guys off the Anapolis (or Anal Palace, as it was more commonly known). Should be interesting to hear from them.
Good point. A bubblehead without dolphins after 2 years on a boat does make you wonder.
Otherwise known as the screen door.
They do not work well on Subs.
Was DINQ the whole time so liberty was restricted. Probably left the Boat UA and wound up in the Brig.
Saw it happen to one shitbag on my first boat. Went UA, was put in the same BEQ room as me and a PO1 (he was an E-3 and shouldn’t have roomed with us, but COB said there wasn’t anywhere else to put him.)
So what does the fucker do? Runs up MY phone bill and goes UA again. This time, when he got caught, it was restitution for me and 30 days in the brig for him.
Fuck. That. Guy.
The boat was in the yards in 2003. I’m going to guess that they sent him to Norfolk as a rider so he could get equalled, and he ended up in the brig instead. Then, back to the yards in Portsmouth and processing for discharge.
There was a pretty good space in between him returning to PNSY and finally getting the boot. Once he went to TPU, he got booted in about a month. I’m thinking they gave him enough time to qual and when he didn’t, away he went.
Not being an East Coast boat sailor, I don’t know if Groton has a brig, although I know Portsmouth doesn’t.
And you’re right about may sending him TAD to an operational boat to get some prac facs for quals, but not really necessary to get his fish. Matter of fact, being A-gang in the yards would probably be a benefit to him. I know I gained a LOT of knowledge about both my boats when they each hit the drydock.
Nothing says “loser” like qualifying for silent service but being an E1
You see E-1s show up to the boat on rare occasion.
It’s when they STAY E-1.
That was more my (poorly phrased) intent, SEA.
I have a nephew with his dolphins (and I do claim him even if he ain’t Army).
This fool is making my family look bad. We don’t take kindly to that.
I only with this dick stain could take the place of the REAL SEAL that just had to give his life so this suck wad could go on breathing my oxygen! I wish you were dead FUCKWAD!!!
I meant WISH!
Shouldn’t his tramp stamp be lower?
It should also read:
1. BORN TO SQUEAL
2. PLEASE PUSH MY STOOL IN
Came in as an E-1 and exited as an E-1. High speed, low drag. Love the tat. Try explaining that for the next 60 years. Looks as if he spent two years on a sub. Maybe pissed hot. Had a good thing going until then. Would like to see the Sep Code.
That’s what I’m curious about. I wonder what Rollie Pollie did that pissed the skipper off so bad that he sent him to the brig!
This deep and no one commented on the uncanny resemblance of Abshire to ET? Lop off the ears and spray paint him green and there you go.
From Sons of Anarchy – Fire or Knife your choice –
He’d probably claim the resulting mark was a result of being tortured as a POW.
In a ‘Tiger Cage’.
In Beirut.
He’d likely claim afterward that the Gooks did it to him while he was being held POW in downtown Kabul until he took a captor’s Luger and fought his way out singlehandedly.
ex-OS2:
We have another phony SEAL in the open for you again this morning.
You are cleared hot.
Cocksucker.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Another shack!
Splash out.
I still see movement in the target area…
REPEAT
REPEAT
REPEAT!
What a great idea for “how to be a good poser”.
Black out something bad and claim it to be secret. I like it.
Oh, and I don’t think you can be a SEAL with little tiny pussy lips like this guy.
ROLLIE MATTHEW ABSHIRE was a BRIG RAT! A MOFO BRIG RAT!!!
Hey Rollie – hope that Marcus Latrell or any other REAL DEAL SEAL find your DUMB, COCKSUCKING ASS SOON… would love to see you tap dance your ass out of that situation!
Moherfuckingassclown!
Check out my suggestion to Old Manchu.
I LIKE IT!!!
I have a suggestion for someone like this slacker brig mold: drag his sorry ass off to BUD/s for two weeks, supervised 24 hours a day, put him through the first two weeks of that, and ask him if he still wants to claim to be a SEAL. If he says ‘yes’, then skip the next phase and send him right into cold weather training, which is a bitch. If he still says ‘yes’ he does want to lie about it, then hand him over to some real SEALs and let them deal with him.
I’d drop his sorry BRIG RAT ass in the middle of Bumfuckistan with 1/2 of an MRE, a dirty M-16 and a rusty bayonet and tell him to “go do some seal shit” on some bad guys…
This clown pisses me off to no end…
Not a SEAL, more like a sealant used on a sub bulkhead, soft and gooey and pliant…
Shitbag!
BHWHAHAHAHAHA
BHWHAHAHAHAHA
Washout ! ! ! !
Here you go…
https://youtu.be/d7r_SfdOr3E
I find it interesting the Ventures’ 1959 drummer, George T Babbitt Jr, left the Ventures because he was too young to play the clubs at which they were hired. Young George went and got educated at the University of Washington and grew up to be General Babbitt, Commander of the USAF Materiel Command. I wonder if the General would tell this guy to run not walk out of his eyes.
Yep, I saw a video on YouTube where the good General played drums on stage with his old band mates in full uniform. They played “Walk, Don’t Run” and it was awesome!
Duck lips with an alien blow up doll….?
I don’t even want to know the rest.
This clown looks like he has had his ass blown up a few times…..
And I would damn sure keep him away from kids.
So how long would it take to get his dolphins? What do you have to do to qualify as a submariner?
Normal time is 8-10 months. And keep in mind, you’ve got watch stations and other quals that have to be done concurrently. Fall behind on any of them and you’re “dink”, which is a bad place. For example, I was (barely) ahead of the curve and I quplifted RO/SRO/ships in just under 9 months.
I have seen hot-runners qualify ships in 4-5 months, and I’ve see dirtbags take well over a year. 18 months, IIRC, is the magic number. If you’re still a non-qual at that point, off to the targets you go.
And as far as what do you have to do? Know the boat from the Sonar Dome to screw. One board question I threw out there once: “You are an ounce of seawater. Light my rack light.” Damage control is another biggie. There are no repair parties, etc., on a submarine.
Bottom line: you have fish, I feel confident I can literally trust you with my life. You don’t, you’re just another san-filling, air-breathing, no-load, useless piece of shit. Now get the fuck off the mess decks and go get a fucking checkout, nub!
Thanks for that explanation.
SEA: Tell us how you REALLY feel re those who don’t qualify. Come on, let r rip.
Nah, I’ll be nice. I was a nub once too.
It’s the assholes who STAY nubs that piss me off.
He reported to the Annapolis within a month of my boat going into the same shipyard. He was in the g-dammed SUBMARINE FORCE, for God’s sake, and he apparently threw it all away! I can only hope some SEAL personally peals that tattoo off his back for him! F’n NUB!
Had a fella around here named Marcus Luttrell who got famous a while back… who the fuck is Latrell?
From him I’d expect it… c’mon, guys…
I stand corrected !!! The folly of proofreading my own bullshit. Thanx bro.
Is this shit bag from Georgia, I think I ran into this fuck head in a Bar and was going to punch the shit head in the face. I had a 9-Line shirt on and he tried to tell me it was a SEAL owned company and SEAL shirt. I checked him on that and asked if he knew what 9-Line meant. When I told what I did in the Navy he back talked and just said he had friends. I said “really so who are they we may know each other or the same people”.
I think this is the same shit bag and he has been hanging out at the same bar.
If you would have knocked that shitbag out, I would have posted your bail… and it would have been worth it!
Your going to have to do that, I know I will see him Friday.I knew when he started the 9-Line shit he was full of B.S. and then he tried some shit like he had four friends he graduated with that were SEAL’s. Wrong answer the Possibility for that to happen are like less than.05 %
Akers Mill
Has anyone sent this on to Marcus Latrell? He’s on FB and I am sure he’d like to know about what a “former classmate” of his is up too… 👿
Go for it, TC. I don’t do FB, so you may certainly do that if you wish to.
Done…on both his FB and personal page.
LinkedIn was scrubbed clean if there was ever anything on there 🙁
Brig time counts as Sea Duty, right? (JK)
Atkron: Nice. Actually, in the Navy it is considered overseas shore duty for (sea) rotational purposes.
A real SEAL warrior was lost this week, and here is this buttwipe with a massive SEAL tattoo, rocking the lie. Turd, you couldn’t be a SEAL if you gave 100%. You couldn’t even do a simple tour w/o screwing up. Welcome to your Google-Is-Forever Infamy. Turd …
Looking at the picture with the tattoo on his back, it looks like they have an incredibly LARGE kitchen table. This guy must have been one very successful dude. Look a bit closer at the chair to his right and the top of the table. Looks like he is married to a midget, they just finished their ham and lima beans, and are relaxing with a game of Monopoly. Reminds me of Ozzie and Harriet.
“This guy must have been one very successful dude.”
I’m sure it was taken one night in his Mommy and Daddy’s home when he was spending another night there.
This was taken in his apartment. He was playing with his son that he soon abandoned for his new wife that didn’t want kids.
Real SEALs are going in harm’s way at great risk and duck lips with his blowup doll has a massive unearned SEAL tattoo. Seems legit. Or not. Oh, Rollie, fuck you.
Asshole. I would like to volunteer to be the TAH official tattoo eraser. Method of removal will depend on the degree of assholery.
Belt sander with 40 grit for this puke. Hey Rollie.FuckYou.
Fuck that, 12 grit. Just to make sure we get it all.
https://goo.gl/aJbjx7
I say cheese grinder all the way
Why fuck around? Angle grinder baby! Followed up with rubbing alcohol to prevent infection, of course.
Drano or battery acid would likely work just fine.