Lance “The Turd” Whipple gets slap on wrist
The criminal justice system just sucks.
But let’s back up. First, Lance would tell everyone in East Lansing Michigan what a war hero he was. He’d run around like a no talent assclown wearing a top gun jacket and generally be the bowl swirling turd he is. He’d even go to hospitals to give the patients some cheer at being visited by a festering shitstick.
Then his wife decided to defend him, which is always a Top Gun move. And with that, he submitted the most obviously fake DD214 since Jesse MacBeth.
I’ve seen better looking DD214’s written in crayon. In reality, his service was less PJ and Pilot for 30 years, and more 35 day basic training washout.
The comments from his noble wife and champion Heidi were AWESOME:
Heidi Smith Whipple · Okemos, Michigan
I am Lance ALLAN Whipples wife. Not lance allEn wife. Got to tell you there were only 4 people at his wedding. His mom and dad would never post those photos since we burried Dad yesterday. Lance and I dont have those photos since his ex wife left him and took everything. Im pretty sure I can crop her out jussssst a bit more for a great wall pick. Other than that, Military Affairs, Jag, a personal attorney and looking at Michigan State Police. As his wife….Im not letting this go. Who ever started this, I promise to bring to military law or my state law. I promise you I will not stop. I will push every button I can to get to the bottom of this. Then there is another court…Its called CIVIL. We receive a pention from the military for what he did. Momma is not done with you. just know.
And…
Heidi Smith Whipple · Okemos, Michigan
You have it wrong sir. And Yes as his wife. Im coming for you. And all involved. Unfortunatly for you Lances RECRUITER owns a PX store and is now looking at our son. I guess his recruiter can call and verify to you as a recruiter. Mail me back ill make it happen for you. We have nothing to hide. Im coming for who gave you this false information. Every month we collect his pention you idiot. I am from Peach Creek West Virginia and I will not stop untill you pay for what you have done to us. He was a PJ then NCO to Officer and those dd214 are authentic. I even agreed to mee with you. At this point sir, its not going to be good for you. I trusted you. I gave you things. You screwed me for what? Why did you do that? I notice your site asks for donations……is that it? Should I pay you more than the person that did this to us? U spelled his name wrong. But the guy u spelled wrong…awww was kinda of a hero…. u will find out later on that one. I tried to work with you. You and I both know where those pictures came from. You have no valor yourself. You are a paid whore.
The word, madam, is gigolo. It is “Jonn Lilyea, European (and Asiatic, Innuit and Middle Eastern) gigolo”. Besides, what exactly is a “paid whore”? If you don’t get paid you aren’t a whore, isn’t that kind of redundant?
But, as with all heroes, their time comes. In Lance’s case, it was when the pararescueman/pilot suppurating lesion on the ball sack of humanity decided to carry some weapons, despite being a felon.
>And so we last left you. With a big court date coming up, and potentially years in prison. Best served cold and all that…
Except, he ended up with 2 days in prison. Two days.
If, as Charles Dickens suggested, “the law is an ass” than Lance Whipple here is the orifice. He’s like the Lindsay Lohan of Stolen Valor. Every time he tries some new BS he gets a slap on the wrist. It’s positively infuriating.
Mark my words, he’ll be running scams again in no time. And Heidi will be there standing by her man.
PS: According to the prosecutor, he did not try to use his fake military service to get leniency. When you only get two days for being a felon in possession of a gun, I have to wonder what leniency would look like in Michigan. Turn down and room service in the Holiday Inn that you serve your two days in?
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
And how did Lancelot of the Boil earn the “Felon” designator?
Weapons charges.
Carrying Concealed
Reckless Use of a Firearm
You would think a PJ would know better…
And, oh by the way, the 2 days in Jail?
SENTENCE INFORMATION COUNT 4 2 DAYS ICJ [In county jail); [b]2 DAYS CREDIT[/b]; 18 MTHS PROB;
Those were credited towards the 7 days he spent in the clink while Heidi made bail.
ARREST BOND ARREST BOND ADDED TO CASE WITH: ACTION CODE: WEAPONS – FIREARMS – POSSESSION BY FELON ARREST DATE: 02/12/2016 BOND STATUS: C30 BOND POSTED STATUS DATE: 02/19/2016 BLANKET BOND: NO OKAY TO APPLY: NO BOND TYPE: TEN PERCENT BOND AMOUNT: 20000
Shitstains like that deserve a lenghty prison sentence, not a slap on the wrist. Stolen valor is not a victimless crime.
Michigan has gone weird. I don’t understand that any more than you do.
Well there you have it, the gun grabbers like to point out that we all have too many guns but this case shines a light on where the actual issue lies with this whole problem. That’s the prosecution of this type of charge, felon in possession.
What good is an additional firearms law going to provide when the current laws are not prosecuted with any determination? It’s no different here in the PRoM Jonn. We have a mandatory one year sentence for possession outside the law ( no permit, etc..) guess what the first charge dropped in almost every case in Massachusetts? if you guessed the gun charge you’re paying close attention.
Ayn Rand may have been a loon regarding a great many ideas, but one concept she discussed has always seemed spot on to me:
“There’s no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.”
Hopefully he NDs into his nuts, slowly and painfully bleeds to death.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed
Heidi says that you screwed her. She also calls you a paid whore. So, my question is, what did you charge?
I am not sure that there is enough money in the world to get Jonn to hit that.
I am pretty sure about TSO as well.
I can only think of one person here who might be willing to take one for the team on this mission, but I do not want to speak for them.
So glad to see the fabulous prose of TSO once again. Missed your writing.
PS: The only thing that you didn’t weave in to that report was your oft used reference to Sponge Bob.
We need more stuff from Heidi. She is hilarious.
“We need more stuff from Heidi”
Only if IDC SARC shares some antibods…
I don’t know that this was an injustice. Let me explain. First, I don’t know when this guy incurred his felony conviction, whether it was one or more, or what the nature of the crime or crimes were. It’s one thing to be a career crim and another to have committed an isolated felony decades ago. Also, not all felonies are created equal. Some simple possession crimes used to be felonies. I just don’t know when or what. I also don’t know how he came to be charged with possession of a firearm and ammo in the instant matter. He was charged with displaying, pointing, shooting, or any of myriad other gun-related crimes. Lastly, I have no idea what was presented in mitigation, such as health status or whatever. So, the judge gave him 18 mos probation. What gets me is that, with the 2-day sentence, there appears to be no hammer left if he violates, unless the state has a punishment provision expressly for probation violation. (Usually, the punishment is imposition of the previously suspended sentence or, if sentence was not pronounced at trial, sentencing for the original, underlying crime.)
His latest prior to this was ’14 when he was charged with Concealed Carry and Reckless use of a firearm.
He pled in January ’15 and got 12 months probation.
So his probation for the previous charge expired Jan 16, then in Feb 16, he was caught with at least 1 weapon and ammunition. Do not know how that occurred.
Hmmm. Yeah, assuming what you wrote to be true, something stinks here.
http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Michigan/Jackson-County-MI/Lance-Allan-Whipple.89072243.html
I see what you are saying about felonies not being equal. I am certainly not proud of this but I am a convicted felon for felony DUI. I was wrong and I know I was wrong and believe you me, after paying that $10,000 in fines and the hoopla called the criminal justice system I learned my lesson. I also had time to think about the danger I posed to innocent drivers and the other drunks on the road (I served no prison time,only house arrest). However, I have no drug charges, assault charges, etc. Nothing else. But I can’t ever go hunting again. I can’t keep a weapon in my house for protection? Al I have is a baseball bat by my bed. Again what I did was wrong, but, never? really? I think that law needs to be modified. Even if for some felonies there is a 10 year waiting period after successful completion of all requirements by the courts.
On the other hand, some crimes rise to the level where you incur serious permanent penalties, like forfeiting some rights. Felony DUI is normally a result of causing an accident, true? May have been only one incident but that is what the father of the kid convicted of rape out at Stanford says… and probably the same thing a first time murderer says. Sorry, you made a choice at one point and it was a very bad choice. Actions beget consequences.
No accident. Roadblock. And I agree it was a bad choice.
Or rather choices. 3rd one in 5 years. I know, I know, I’ve beat myself up for years. My fault.. But I am no longer a danger to society. That is what I am saying.
Most people can get shit faced a thousand times and never be inclined to rape, rob, or commit any one of a number of other heinous crimes. I see DUI/DWI differently. Good judgment is the first casualty of drinking and those who do frequently think they’re okay to drive when they’re not. I want someone over the age of 21 to say here that he drinks and he drives but he has never been DUI. I can tell you that I won’t believe it. BUT, here’s the thing. Close calls deter some. Others are arrested and that’s that. They’re done forever with drinking and driving or drinking altogether. When they don’t, it’s a matter of when they will get another DWI and whether they will have hurt or killed someone. At that point, I have zero sympathy.
Yea that’s the way I see it now. I was hard headed for sure.
Sounds that you got yourself squared away, JBUSMC. Congratulations.
Ugh. “He was NOT charged with….”
READING HEIDI’S POSTS. . .
TEH STOOPID, IT BURNS.. . ..
I wonder if PJ in this guy’s case means Penis Jockey?
Or maybe “Jerker”.
I have a headache reading his puppy’s post.
and no S$&t on the Lohan of stolen valor
BHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!
Tard Alert!
Who the hell wears their uniform after leaving the military? I have one set of BDU’s along with some old fatigues that I kept. The last time I was at my mini-storage, I almost threw them away. I guess I keep them as a memento.
I have a few items left, a parka, a dress blue jacket, a fatigue shirt, a field jacket I wear working on my vehicle, amazing they still some what fit(tighter than original)almost 40 years later…other than that I sold the rest at a yard sale decades ago….I wonder if any of those old fatigues and dress /casual uniforms are being used as “stolen valor” by some pickle turd ?…naaagh, I was USAF not to many of these fake heroes pretend to be USAF enlisted NCO’s from ACFT maintenance squadrons, not as glamorous as a fighter pilot, PJ, SEAL, special forces or CIA secret squirrel in their fantasies.
I went through my old uniforms with my girls. Needlessly to say they took my BDU’s and field jackets to wear. They told me people at school pay big money, as this is what cool kids wear. I can’t believe I used to fit into this stuff.
Maybe Heidi will leave him, and then Mr. Whipple will have to go back to “squeezing the Charmin.”
You can guess who this is dedicated to…
Don’t squeeze the Charmin!
Especially if it’s been used….
Two days in jail …a lifetime of failure
Heidi said:
Can someone explain what the hell she is saying here? I’m afraid the English-to-Cretin translator isn’t installed on this computer.
I think she’s saying, “Hello, I’m an ignorant cumdumpster.”
I will take a stab at that, Martinjmpr.
“RECRUITER owns a PX store”:
The guy who helped him make up the crap on the DD-214, owns a pawn shop that sells used medals, rank, insignia, patches, and uniforms to posers.
“…now looking at our son”; as only a pervert in a pawn shop can look at a “son”.
That is as close as I can get to translating that mess.
Sure, I’ll translate: “I am unable to communicate my thoughts in writing. Therefore, I leave it to you to guess what I mean to communicate when I write.” I hope that helps.
Just one big vowel movement
^^^^guffaw!
I can’t translate a bit of that because I don’t speak Idiotese.
This turd has been getting his Phildo on.
Maggot.
Ha exactly as I told you my husband (the hero) was vendecated against all of your false claims and mean statements. This will hopefully serve as a lesson to all of you who visit this site to post lies about a good man with a distinguished record in the our countries military. And make no mistake there will be civil litigation against this site we are already in the preparation stage. Toodles!
I don’t think this is Heidi. The IP address resolves to the same location as a number of other trolls we’ve had lately.
Notwithstanding the IP addresses, “civil litigation” was a dead giveaway. The word litigation is way above her pay grade.
Yeah “Vendecated” was a nice try but there aren’t enough misspellings, sentence fragments or indecipherable statements in that to be the real Heidi. C – at best.
It is coming from Peterson AF Base for some reason.
Yeah, so did AAdams, Jeff Smythe and a couple of nominal trolls since those heady days. Search on the IP address in our comments section of the dashboard.
Has to be a troll, since we KNOW that the DA knew of Lance’s “career”.
The real version, not the barstool version.
“Distinguished record”… maybe a “distinguished PRISON record” in the local poundhimintheass pokey.
Hey Heidi! Which one does Lancie like more – cockmeat sammiches with manmayo, or does he like tubesteak smothered in nutbutter? Also, what do the guys and gals at the Commander’s Club think about Lancie now?
Distinguished record? He apparently doesn’t even know how to wear captain’s bars.
Hey Heidi – is Lancie-poo still a Special Man-hole Ops guy?
https://youtu.be/HbvYeLxMKN8
Perfect!
I think we need a visual on Heidi to determine if she would make it to IDC SARC’s list.
Then again, maybe IDC SARC has enough info to make a determination. 😉
I’m usually averse to hittin poser quim, because of the high incidence of vaginosis, but she’s kinda feisty, so sure, why not?
For some reason, these old classic rock lyrics comes to mind:
“Some Silicone Sister with a manager mister . . . .”
“We got the bubble headed
Bleached blonde
Comes on at five . . . . “
Those mammaries are definitely store-bought.
I can see why she’s hanging with the Coasties. She’s carrying one hell of a flotation device.
Same thought…this is one woman who will never drown face-down.
Kinda reminds me of the Paul Simon lyric – “Met a girl in New York City, called herself a human trampoline”
Heidi – Shut up, just shut up. You had me at “paid whore”.
LOL. This loser POS is right down the road from me about two hours.
http://i.giphy.com/njYrp176NQsHS.gif
We need more gun laws that prosecutors won’t try.
By the way, the prosecutor told me that she and the judge are both aware of his forged DD214s.
Something else the court doesn’t have time for, I suppose.
There were 4 charges. The prosecutrix dropped 3 of them for the G plea. It’s justice, Monte Hall style.
Every time the gun grabbers propose their “Common Sense Gun Control Laws” I will quote this case. The federal penalty for Felon in Possession is FIVE years in the joint. A decade ago Roger inSeattle was suffering a rash of gun crimes until the prosecutor started referring his cases to the feds. After a half dozen thugs went to prison people got the message. Of course this was in the Bush II years. Obama can’t be bothered.What with all the resources tied up in the trans bathroom fight.
May the Judge that gave him that pussyfoot excuse of a sentence get ass-raped by both a Grizzly Bear with AIDS and the meanassed SOB that was tough enough to give it to him and may a hundred dead porcupines wrapped in asbestos be stuffed up his ass sideways afterward.
API….the wordsmith that you are always makes me think about some old forgotten country music song; at least the TITLE. This time it was a Glenn Campbell song called “Gentle On My Mind (but hard on my ass).
Sentence structure is not Heidi’s strong suit. Blindly supporting a no-load seems to be, though.
Appropriate sentence structure apparently wasn’t the judge’s strong suit, either.
Word!
Heidi reminds me of another famous Hippobottomus, Kaiya Louise Church.
The word I mean to use was Dependabottomus. I apologize for the error and accept full responsibility for my actions.
Either word would be accurate in this case.
LOL! Hippobottomus works, too!
UNBELIEVABLE – 2014 I HAD DEALINGS WITH LANCE AND HIS WIFE. IT IS SAD TO LEARN OF THIS THROUGH THE INTERNET. FOR PEOPLE TO POST SUCH AWFUL COMMENTS THEY MUST HAVE REALLY DONE SOMETHING WRONG.
I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN WE FIRST MET THE COUPLE. HAS ANY THOUGHT MAYBE HEIDI IS MENTALLY & EMOTIONALLY ABUSED LANCE? ? ?