Dale William Burke; Updated
Around Thompson, North Dakota they have a program where young men who aspire to become Navy SEALs can test their grit. For some reason Dale Burke took it upon himself to get involved because of his Army Ranger training. His physical abilities are really remarkable…according to him anyway.
It seems a young man involved in the program got tired of hearing about all of his claims and sounded the bullshit alarm. This caused Mr. Burke to get his panties all in a bind so he had the principal of the school admonish the young man for speaking up. He also took it upon himself to call the Parental Unit of the young man threatening her with lawyers and the such. You can review the rest of the case over at militaryphony.com
There clearly seems to be some issues with the conduct of the young man that raised objections to Mr. Burke. Under no circumstances should the children or other family members of Mr. Burke be brought into the argument. It is our understanding that the school had to step in to correct some inappropriate behavior of the young man. It appears that he might have done the right thing in the wrong manner. He gets an “A” for effort and an “F” for the manner in which he went about things.
Nobody wants to see the honorable service of a real Army Ranger being besmirched by anyone, so they ordered his military records through a FOIA request.
Hmm… Turns out the Army doesn’t seem to know anything about all of his Ranger training. They seem to think he was a Radio Teletype Operator. Call me skeptical but I don’t think this guy ever did 203 push ups in two minutes. He appears to be a little fluffy these days so I doubt he will be demonstrating his skills to anyone soon.
We understand there were issues of inappropriate conduct involved with this. However, we still need to deal with any confusion that Mr. Burke was ever an Army Ranger. He was clearly not. It appears to us that none of this would have happened in the first place had Mr. Burke not embellished his military service. We hope this puts and end to any mystery concerning Dale Burke’s military career and an end to inappropriate conduct by this young man.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
Oh boy. Another one. Great. Just what we need this morning.
– 203 push-ups in 2 minutes?
– 256 sit-ups in 2 minutes?
– 59 pull-ups?
– And he’s got ‘The Vest’ and ‘The Hat’?
OK. Well, it looks like this guy requires the standard ex-OS2 treatment for posers.
ex-OS2:
Bring it ASAP.
Cleared hot.
On closer examination, I also see that he has ‘The Ponytail’.
Any sign of ‘The Motorcycle’, ‘The Service Dog’, or ‘The PTSD’ from when he was in ‘The Shit’?
His overseas time in “The Shit” consisted of being assigned to the 59th Ordnance Brigade at Husterhoeh Kaserne in Pirmasens.
Not exactly one of those “Tip of the Spear at the Fulda Gap” locations.
He doesn’t even have a NDSM,,he is totally a poser!!!
Make that a double-load, ex-OS2. This fat boy needs slapped down thoroughly.
Two-fisted cocksucker.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Towel boy in a gay bath house.
ADDED!!!
In a month or two you’ll have an epic slam with all the contributions you are receiving.
Much more, and you can turn it into a kindle book of 153 pages.
Cocksucker.
Fatty Fat Cocksucker.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Nicely done.
Shit-eating buck-toothed Swamp Donkey of a cocksucker.
KA-BLAMMA-WHAMMA-SLAMMA-BADDA-BOOM!!!
Okay, well, um, er, ah….
Geez, this guy is beyond the babbling attention whoring stage.
The swim test is measured in METERS, NOT IN YARDS, you farkin’ dickless assholio tick-ridden glob of swamp gas.
Y-A-R-D-S???? That right there clocks his entire line of codpiece-licking balderdash. Anyone else wanna add to it?
When he gets his thong in a wad over a high-school kid and threatens his parental unit.
Pretty clear sign of a losing poser right there.
Now, can some help me remember another poser that attacked a high school kid for calling bullshit on his claims?
This guy needs to get in touch with Daniel Bernath, and they can swap stories on how they took down a 17 year old. There are not that many people in North Dakota, dipshit. Your shenanigans against this kid will make you infamous from Fargo all the way out to Williston.
Here’s hoping Dale Burke doesn’t have an airplane or a sport pilot license.
Between him, Bernath, and the duct tape, it could be either disastrous or fucking hilarious, depending upon the population density of the crash site.
Army measures their swim in yards (800, BTW). Still. To this day. I did the swim as the alternative to the run my last three years in, after having my hip replaced.
http://www.armyprt.com/apft/800-yard-swim-test.shtml
Yeah, the Navy used to do that, too, in the 1960s, but now they measure in meters.
So do they run a 2.5K these days, or is their run still measured in old-fashioned ‘M-I-L-E-S’?
I can see this asswipe’s excuse: “…What I meant was, I was a Teletype Ranger, just like those Powerpoint Rangers you have now…so see, I was a Ranger in the Army !!!…”
So then, the only thing he was ‘ranging’ was a keyboard.
Remington Ranger.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JpgPD5M9AJs
I have the coveted “Combat Typist Badge”, 40 word a minute with no errors, perfect score.
Damn words, not word. Guess I’ll have to go back to the range.
Well, he was stationed at Ft Lewis, that’s the same as being in a Ranger BN, right?
2/75 Ranger BN is still there if I remember correctly, thus he may have decided to call himself one after driving around near their compound.
His claimed two mile time-“in jump boots” remember-would put him pretty close to a top 25 all time 5000 meter pace.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5000_metres#Men
Of course, all of those times were set within the past 20 years or so (old Dale would have done that sometime in the 80s before much that is now known about training was developed) and the list of people who can keep up that kind of pace is almost exclusively Kenyan or Ethiopian.
Frankly I doubt it Dale could bike that far that fast.
Oops-I see that is supposed to be 1.5 miles, so not quite so fast. Still, when do you run 1.5 miles for time in the Army? Two miles for the PT test, four miles for jump school and five miles for Ranger school-but 1.5?
I was stationed at Lewis in ’83, and while running the 2 miler for the APFT, I remembered this streak of human blur zinging past me at almost quasi-light speed; and while the rest of us wore running shoes, I distinctly remember that this human blur had on black jump boots. I was thinking to myself, now THAT is a man who is being ALL THAT HE CAN BE…///
LOL, I seen the same kind of blur going by me. To max out the PFT run in the Corps you have to do 3 miles in 18 minutes or less.
I only maxed it one time at 17:22…and after training for two months to get to that time there were a dozen Marines in front of me
No shit! 3.2 clicks (2 mi) in 8.56?!?!? That’s an Olympian!
Oh, this should be good. This guy looks like the kind of phony who will eventually show up in the comments here (along with all his sockpuppets) and start fighting with everybody, threatening lawsuits, threatening physical violence, “my records are classified”, “my records burned up in the fire”, etc., etc.
And frankly I could use the entertainment.
Paging Dale Burke, Mr. Dale William Burke, please come to the TAH comments section immediately…
I’m at work right now, but once I get home and can access various social media, I’ll gladly “invite” him here.
Good point, Hayabusa.
I recommend that all hands on Team TAH face outboard and stand by to repel Sockpuppets.
Let’s call this an entertainment and educational video.
Not badski at all, I like a happy ending!
Foo gas is prepped and ready
Even at this guy’s “peak” he could do maybe 40 pushups…over a two week period
Hmmmm… poser asshole threatening innocent parties with a frivolous lawsuit. Yup, this guy has All Points Logistics leadership written all over him. He should give Phildo a call.
Not impressed at all by any of his twaddle.
Men’s Olympic records:
400m freestyle Yang Sun (CHN) 3:40.14 London (GBR) July 28, 2012
1500m freestyle Yang Sun (CHN) 14:31.02 London (GBR) August 4, 2012
Girls can swim faster than he can, and it’s always in M-E-T-E-R-S.
Recent Olympic records:
400m freestyle Katie Ledecky (USA) 3:56.46 Rio de Janeiro (BRA) August 7, 2016
800m freestyle Katie Ledecky (USA) 8:04.79 Rio de Janeiro (BRA) August 12, 2016
There seems to be some concern that Mr. Burke or the school may retaliate against the young man involved.
Just to be clear, the young man who was involved did not post this case…I did.
Anyone who has a problem with it can take it up with me…including but not limited to Mr. Burke and the School.
And we’ll be glad to provide supporting fire against either target.
Good job, Dave.
Dave, do you need some help with the Bad Guy?
Nah, this young man needed to be corrected for the manner in which he went about things.
Burke just needs to man up and admit none of this would have happened in the first place if he had been proud of his perfectly honorable career in the military as it was.
Also, what kind of pathetic loser feels the need to one-up a high school student? Probably a guy whose fragile ego is exacerbated by an ever-present sense of embarrassed self-consciousness regarding his tiny, tiny penis (which he can’t see anyway because it is obscured from view by his enormous fat belly).
That’s just a guess, though.
Maybe Dale William Burke could enlighten us as to the true reasons, if he were to come to the comments section here at TAH…
Another rump riding ranger that isn’t happy with his service – gets called out and makes threats to a kid and his parent. Couldn’t be happy with his service as a RTO, had to go BALLS DEEP with the Ranger lies. Real ballsy, DALE WILLIAM BURKE!
DALE WILLIAM BURKE = MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING ASS HAMSTER!
Time to pile on. TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!! DANGER CLOSE!!!! MOPP LEVEL 4!!! TAKE COVER!!!!! Dale William Burke work balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, pile infested, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, inflamed, gaping, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, sperm burping, sniveling, lying, Bowl of ass soup, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, waste of oxygen, numbnuts, snowball, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, booger eating, bed wetting, window licker follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots shitbag, moron, asshat, dick pickle, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, dipstickus giganticus, knob gobbling, galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, your penis lives in eternal darkness, i’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, catcher not pitcher, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, douche nozzle, might but not certain, like to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, Sitzpinkler, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, Pettifogger, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, butt munch, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck you own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee), taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, fuck hole, Pilsburry Dough Bitch, Not a Ranger, Should be around CHILDREN, probably touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, cum-dumpster, Useless syphilitic mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Felcher, dingleberry, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of siberian sheep shit, mangina micropeen, turd burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with Bernath’s used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt. FUCK… Read more »
Typo…Should NOT be around CHILDREN,
Geez Chip, I hope you could copy and paste the wonderful piece of journalism? That is too good to waste! I really think you were to easy on him however?
to pull a great line from Rob Roy, maybe he’s a “buggerer of little boys”
Added but I’m going to put
“ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed and in people’s opinion”….
(as a disclaimer)
I do like the cut of your jib, sir
ChipNASA, are you compiling a compendium of cusswords? If so, please let me know. Will Shakespeare had to invent stuff because Elizabethan English was sadly lacking. He came up with over 100,000 newbies.
Meantime, I am SO borrowing that bunch of flybait!
Just a massive Word Doc of insults to use here at TAH. I try to personalize each one and I also have one that has a Slightly Canadian twist to it.
Anyone that wants to contribute their own 2 cents to it as long as it’s not too repetitive, is welcome….
For example I wanted to include APIs
“Shit-eating buck-toothed Swamp Donkey of a cocksucker.” but I already have “donkey raping shit-eater” so I thought we kind of had it covered.
I may add “Buck Toothed” to the list.
What about “Buck Tooth” as in only having one functional buck tooth?
Hmmm I kinda like it.
It’s subtle.
Chip,
Perhaps I can assist a bit. In the UK a burke is “a stupid person who is easy to take advantage of.”
I see possibilities here ….
Oops … delete the “e” — proper spelling is burk.
It may also be spelt as “berk.”
JSF
Added!!
ChipNASA,
The following are submitted for your consideration:
– Wanker
– Arschloch
– Gobshite
Boom!
BOOM!!
BOOM!!!
Added.
Pendejete
Hijo de una gran puta
Lambiscon
Ninnyhammer
Burke,
You can lay a lip lock on the snotty end of my moose cock.
Dale William Burke – you are a buffoon
Dale Burke!
You’re a lying phony POS! Go ahead and tell my parents, please.
And in case you hadn’t fired up your one remaining functional brain cell yet, yes, they’re dead.
As far as Herr Principal goes, STFU after you PUBLICLY (like in front of the entire school publicly) apologize to the young man and his parents. You had no reason to get involved, and you should have told your asshole buddy Dale the same.
It seems that the school did have a solid foundation for getting involved.
I hope they use the information provided to address Mr. Burke as well.
As the old saying goes…Two wrongs do not make a right.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
Three -lefts-, however, make a right.
In which case the young man in question does need some counseling by Dad.
But that does not excuse or mitigate Dale Burke’s unwarranted threat of litigation.
I’ve worked around teens a lot. Some of them can be almost as stupid as I was as a teenager. But Dale Burke is stupider than your average teenage boy.
Sounds like Dale William Burke is misrepresenting himself to impressionable young men who want to rise to military challenges.
At the end of the phone message it sounds like he called the young man a “wannabe” if I heard that correctly. Burke neither has the authority or apparently the experience to dash anybody’s hopes.
I would not want this man anywhere around my kids.
What kind of turd sandwich asshole still brags about fucking high school decades later? Who gives a fuck what you did in high school? It’s fucking high school for fucks sake…everyone is pretty much a fucking idiot while they attend high school and we all know that, which is why we cut kids a bit of slack for being stupid…old fat fucks who pretend they were Rangers while doing nothing more than operating communications gear (which is perfectly honorable so there’s no need to lie about it) get no such slack for being stupid bullshit douchebags…
Dipshit, pony-tail old fuck…stop mis-remembering your past, or don’t but those who can remember it will most likely help you remember which will be somewhat embarrassing for you…assclown.
The only people I know who do are shitbag losers.
Pretty sad if you peaked at age 17.
This is a good reason to NOT go to that 50th high school class reunion. Can you get OVER it? EVER???
Ass hamster must be a distant relative of Uncle Rico…
And the Thompson, ND website/administration is publicly available.
His facebook page is open for comments (for now) and I linked TAH there.
FUCK YOU DALE!
Iffin y’all need some hep with this rascal, let me know.
Douche
I think my cat can swim faster than DALE ever could… across Lake Michigan, too.
ALL that shit he claims while grinning like an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush.
I. Like. THIS ^^^^^^
I’m going to have to figure out how to work that into the insult listing.
Got it…after some careful consideration, it is now been inserted…
” as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush”
Thanks for your contribution.
Very nice touch!
Give this cocksucker a break, I can verify I was a sekret squirrel Crypto Ranger, I was near one once, so doesn’t that make me qualified? I can even spell it right! The best I ever did in the 100 yard dash?……………65 yards!
Now go eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown!
Now I’m adding that.
I don’t anything in there that mentions Monkeys so it fits.
*have*
“culo de chongo”
for our speakers of the Romance languages.
Got it.
Okay, ChipNASA, I’m answering your challenge with the following:
codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer
onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff
giggling beerflecked canker blossom
man of the night in a large animal bordello
sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth
turbo apeshit crazy
Does that work?
Done
Done
Done
Done
Done ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD
DONE!!
BOOM!!!!
/sprinkled liberally throughout
//Seriously Jonn’s going to cut me off it this gets TOO long….or not.
I shouldn’t BOLD it then.
Nicely done, API.
The most push ups I’ve ever seen someone do in 2 minutes was 122. A buddy of mine in BNCOC
And he was a blur nonstop for 2 minutes. Really a once in a career type of thing to witness
This guy has no grasp on reality
Just for reference, the North Carolina High School record for the 3200 meters (two mile) is 9:01, by Taylor Gilland, who was the three time state champion and ran track at UVA. So Dale Burke is obviously full of it. Also the 59 pull-ups must have been done on the moon.
Okay, Dave, I’ll bite–what exactly did the kid do wrong aside from not have an FOIA in hand when he called Dale Burke out?
There’s shades of gray, but Burke was so far around the fucking bend with his claims even Stevie Wonder could have seen how fucked up that was.
Reading between the lines, it sounds like the young man in question MAY have brought Burke’s family into it somehow. I could be wrong about that, but that seems to be the issue to me.
Young men and women go to High School to complete their education. That is particularly true of those who wish to join the military in today’s world.
They do not engage in disruptive behavior with other students regardless of who their parents might be.
This young mans parents appear to be fully in support of that position. They seem to be stand up responsible parents that do not make excuses for their children.
Burke seems to have been defending his own family, albeit from the results of his own embellishments.
JMHO
Ah,
Gotcha. IOW, right goal, wrong methods.
According to his records he took a course in speed reading. Cool, now he can read all these comments really fast. But not RANGER fast.
Well, I can see how he got confused – “Radio Teletype Operator” and “Ranger” both start with an “Ra” and end with an “r” (shrug).
RATT Rig Ranger?
Naahhhhh…
I see from his Facebook page that he is rocking the service-connected disability checkbox as well:
“I have a 100% service connected rating from injuries received on active duty with the US Army. I have been using VA healthcare for the past 20+ years…..”
I hope he is lying about this as well. But it wouldn’t surprise me if he is collecting VA disability. I wish there was some way to purge all the phonies collecting VA disability for supposed service related “injuries” from the system. I suspect the amount of fraud approaches the 25% level for auto accident and workers’ comp claims. I know of a number of people claiming PTSD from their RVN service just so they can get to the level of disability to receive VA med benefits without having their incomes causing them to have to pay something for them. One guy drove a bulldozer in a construction battalion in RVN and never heard a shot fired in anger, but his “counselor” advised him to claim PTSD disability so his six figure income wouldn’t disqualify him from free medical.
So. If I’m adding this up correctly: This lying PoS took his lies into the school going after a high school student. The student responded, arguably inappropriately, to the threat that followed him into school. Maybe he took it out on the liar’s family, also at the school, when it was the lying PoS who involved the school and took it there in the first place. Lying PoS involves folks who have nothing to do with this mess, kid takes it out on the only target he has, and now what?
How exactly was the kid supposed to handle it and why is he expected to act with more maturity than the lying PoS?
Great lesson there from all concerned. Sure, I understand that two wrongs do not make a right, but I’m not holding my breath until the real person responsible for involving the school is held accountable for his actions.
Any chance he will recant his lies? Didn’t think so.
You threaten or attempt to humiliate a high-school boy and most of them will respond in ways that we would not like them to respond.
That said – in some ways the situation is little more than an individual who has little to no power being abused by a person who has power and, in frustration, responding to the abuser.
(Unless there are components of which I am unaware, Dave being so darn discrete [good on ya])
Turd.
I bet he is down for getting his ass pumped 200+ times a minute.
And by the looks of this turd, he does NOT need to be in any school or around any kids.
Another fucking 05C radio humper that thinks that is synonymous with successfully completing 8 or 9 weeks of Ranger School. Although I took my turn at carrying the radio in Ranger School and occasionally in the Viet of the Nam, I never claimed I was an 05C/PRC-25 virtuoso. However, I do want extra credit for jumping with the rarely used 35 pound hand- crank generator for the AN/GRC-109 radio set we had to jump into southern Germany for Flintlock IV. That sucker creates one mighty heavy ruck. Isn’t there a Combat Signal Corps badge yet?
We tease my brother (82nd) that they strapped the mortar plate on him just so he would fall when he jumped. He was a tad bit thin in the 80’s
A friend of mine was one pound under minimum weight at MEPS, the recruiter had him eat an entire bunch of bananas and re-weigh a little later. Made weight, we named him “Banana Boy” afterwards.
I still call him that almost forty years later.
256 situps in two minutes? That’s an average of more than two per second. Maybe some kids at MIT could build a robot to do 256 situps in two minutes, but this fucker surely didn’t.
I am confident that Dale meant 256 cock-chin slaps in two minutes, but I could be wrong.
I spent two tours at MCRD San Diego. The Regimental records were posted on the PT Field. About 15,000 Recruits go through there a year, many of them were high school or college studs.
The number he boasted for pullups is feasible if he was some sort of stud,, think the one I remember was 56… saw a article dated 2002 where a recruit did 76.
I was always one of the top in my unit for sit-ups and later crunches. I think I busted over 100 a few times… The recruit record for CRUNCHES was about 158. I cant see anyone busting over 200 situps.
Run Times were for 3 miles. MCRD record was maybe low 15s.
The thing I noticed is that while you had some studs max the entire PFT and each event you NEVER saw anyone blitz every single event like this ass clown is claiming.
Just went on Facebook and invited him over. LOL
I use to Max out my sit-ups and every now and then my push-up also,
all the time before my fu-bar in the Sand (aka) Shit Box.
I’m calling BULL-SHIT on his claim on sit-up
What a fucking TURD
Another POSer with a meat gazer’s grin.
Ha! This is a cool site. Exposing shit birds who pretend to be more than they are. I have met more than a few of these liars in my life. I usually let them live their fantasy nodding and offering thanks for their service. They will have to give account to the Creator one day not I. I never sered officially but swore an oath to defend this country when I was seven years old and achieved the rank of Private First Class by the time I was ten. Wtf right? Haha My pops is a 1966-67 Veitnam war vet. First Infantry Army. Platoon Recon Scout, explosives expert and Drill Sarge outta Ford Ord Cali. And He was and still is my idol. I live and breath all things military and still do. I can spot the cons right off. These posers don’t even research there lies, and are easily caught not knowing what a claymore is or M79 or something so stupid. I am to old to join up now and was often turned down because of Birth Defects (50% hearing loss ) from Agent Orange spayed on Pops no doubt. In 2003 I could’ve served and scored extremely high on the testing but was 10 lbs overweight and in love with a girl would didn’t want to commit and I didn’t want to leave. I don’t regret it however realizing now the PTSD vets suffer from the combat situations they experience and the faces they see in their dreams of those they killed. It’s far to simple to go down to the VA and pretend to be some black ops vet with no record of service and recieve benefits. My Pops always joked that I should do this but He raised me with accountability and honour. Pops is now 100% Service Connected Disabled and recieves a nice check. He definately earned it. His Macho Warrior Pride kept him from ever seeking assistance or benefits and making his own way in the world till way past 50 Years old. Something He regrets now because of the help he could’ve… Read more »