Front Toward Enemy

To those who don’t know me, I’ve been messing around on political forums for the better part of 10 years now, including 5-or-so years as a moderator/admin on one very popular forum owned by some skinny blonde chick…Ann something or other, but I digress.

During that time, I made a practice of lurking on opposing forums, mostly for material, but also for the sheer sake of trying to decipher what these people were thinking…and I use that term loosely. One of my favorite, most target rich environments for my recons was The Democratic Underground, profoundly referred to as DU, earning it’s denizens the title of DU’ers. In many cases, what was posted on DU could hardly be held out as fiction, much less categorized as an argument (last time I checked “fuck you” wasn’t exactly considered thoughtful debate), so I would package up these little nuggets and post them on Ann Whatsherface’s forum and we’d all get a pretty good chuckle out of them. Nice. Whatever.

The bulk of these DU crossposts were harmless, amounting to a significant number of echo chamber rants, lithium fueled diatribes, endless bitching about Bush and Cheney (to which they had all manner of interesting nicknames) and some of the lamest attempts at humor seen this side of a Kathy Griffin “show”. On occasion, however, there were some rare gems, like the one from a particular DU poster named Magic Rat, who according to him, had his “girlfriend” up in his bedroom, her clothes half-off, when he suddenly decides that taking the tube-bus to Tuna Town wasn’t in the cards that evening…his bewilderment on why she suddenly left was comedy gold.

Then there was the “guy” who got mad because all the chicks in his office would run out for lunch on Friday to his favorite pizza joint and wouldn’t invite him…or the epic “Liberal Historian & Nighttrain” hook-up, where DU’ers actually pledged gas and motel money via PayPal, only to have good ol’ Nighttrain bail when he figured out that his Dodge Omni probably couldn’t handle Jabba The Historian’s considerable girth. These were some of the better threads, chiseled into the internets for all time.

But with the coronation of the Teleprompter-in-Chief, these outlets have changed a little…or have they? A quick DUmpster dive this morning revealed a significant number of threads dedicated to prosecution of Bush administration officials related to the “torture” memos. There were a few posts about the flu (and the magnificent way St. Barry is handling the crisis), but there was one that stood out:

formercia (1000+ posts) http://journals.democraticunderground.com/formercia
Tue Apr-28-09 07:40 AM
Original message

I was threatened again yesterday. They did it by threatening my 8 year old son. They’re such cowards that they sent a boy almost twice his age to do it. he’s still a minor, thus pretty much untouchable.They were sending me a message that they may not be able to get to me directly but my son is fair game.
We’ve turned into a Third World country where the inmates are in charge of the asylum.

I had to keep him home from school today because he’s suffering from anxiety. He’s borderline autistic and has enough trouble functioning at school as is, but this just pushes him over the edge. I complained before but nothing gets done.

Ok…at face value, it’s a fairly reasonable response to someone having their kid bullied, but then again, this is DU…the thread continues:

HarukaTheTrophyWife (1000+ posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 07:42 AM
Response to Original message

1. Since you know who did it, just call the fucking cops

formercia (1000+ posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 07:46 AM
Response to Reply #1

3. They won’t do anything. I even complained to the FBI a couple of years ago.

They’re a bunch of Bush Gang connected Dominionist, Joel’s Army types. Their local gur-preacher is a State Senator who likes to push his weight around.

Hm. Ok, so we’ve gone from our kid being bullied to the FBI and a state senator being involved. Interesting. But there’s more:

HarukaTheTrophyWife (1000+ posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 08:08 AM
Response to Reply #3

9. Wait, so this has been going on for years? Why are they doing this to you?

formercia (1000+ posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 08:11 AM
Response to Reply #9

10. It’s Bush Gang revenge. I screwed with one of Poppy’s operations when I worked at CIA. This has been going on for decades.They can’t attack me directly, so they attack my son.

Yeah…totally worth the wait, wasn’t it? To recap for those in the cheap seats, what we have here is an anonymous poster on a leftwing whack-job forum who is complaining that their kid is being threatened by teenaged FBI agents, and their state senator (who is also a pastor…gotta get that anti-Christian bias in there too you know), due to some clandestine operation they thwarted during Bush 41’s presidency while they were working for the CIA. To their credit, some of the DUmbasses have the audacity to question our intrepid hero’s veracity, which doesn’t go over too well:

formercia (1000+ posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 08:28 AM
Response to Reply #12

18. What is the ‘kool-aide’ reference? Are you trying to insinuate that I’m under-medicated? They already tried that attack. The shrinks say I’m ok.
I do have severe PTSD as a result.

Looks like IVAW could have a potential spokesperson here! But wait, it gets even more intense:

formercia (1000+ posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 08:20 AM
Response to Reply #15

16. They have been ‘messing’ with me for decades. I’ve been shot at, poisoned, electrocuted, assaulted. I spent a year and a half in rehab recovering from one of their ‘pranks.’

Sounds like he’s been to Gitmo. I kid…I’m a kidder. No seriously:

formercia (1000+ posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #19

27. It’s not paranoia. I’ve heard your meme many times. I would have taken offense to it at one time, but I’ve heard it so often, that I just write off such statements as ignorance. This has been going on for decades. It began when Poppy was VP and in charge of the Central America Program.

I was one of the CIA Officers that worked on the mining of the harbors in Nicaragua program. In January of 1982, I notified my superiors that I felt the program was illegal. Apparently, Poppy took great offense to this.

My quote:
“You people are out of your fucking minds.” “When Congress finds out about this, they are going to cut our balls off.”

This is what I said to my Division Chief, in front of his whole Division. (OTS/SAD)

Rebubula (481 posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 08:55 AM
Response to Reply #27

39. So…for 27 years the CIA (an organization that routinely kills people in manners that seem natural or simply disappears them) has been pissed at you for transgressions against them?

Sorry…if this is true (and honestly I doubt it), this (Democratic Underground) is NOT the forum. You should (as another poster mentioned) contact Leon Pannetta’s office (he seems an honorable man) and some of your old CIA friends (you should still have at least one friendly contact there) to get everything on the table.

If this is true, I apologize and wish you the best at getting out from under these assholes.

If only Jack Bauer were here…he’d know how to handle this…or Chuck Norris, but since he’s a fundie Repuke, maybe Ward Churchill? I hear Bill Maher is pretty tough as long as he can use his mouth:

14. Can you move far away? Not worth risking your, or your son’s health.

formercia (1000+ posts)
Tue Apr-28-09 08:23 AM
Response to Reply #14

17. I’m safest in plain sight. They have too many tentacles to hide from.

Google ‘hentai’ for more on these wayward tentacles…on second thought, don’t do that.

And so this is how it goes. These are the folks that can nullify your well informed vote. These are the people who parade around in pink attire demanding peace at all cost. These are the morons who think that the preamble to the Constitution says “generally promote Welfare” instead of “promote the general welfare”. These are the idiots who join the military for “college” and then shit themselves when the Army has the audacity to actually deploy them into harm’s way. They are the ones who would be more than happy to sell out your grandkid’s future as long as they can sit in a women’s studies program for 10 years on your dime…and they all think you’re the one who is the problem. And hey, thanks to Janet Napolitano they have Federal justification for that opinion.

Which brings us to the point of this rambling mass of whatever…battlefields are no longer limited to far flung shores, or wind swept sand dunes…they’re in your face. They’re in your neighborhoods. They’re in your kid’s school, and more importantly, they’re embedded in the collective psyche of those who command the reins of power. Think of that next time you see our Fearless Leader, his flawlessly vetted speech scrolling on his best pal, the teleprompter and think of this; on a claymore mine, it has printed in large text ‘Front Toward Enemy’. The question is, who has the clacker.

Category: Antiwar crowd, Liberals suck, Usual Suspects