Wanted; Daniel A. Bernath
Editor’s Note: Apparently someone has broken into TAH past our multiple levels of defense. I assume it is satire, but we are looking into it. I only know that none of us did this. And Satire is apparently an absolute defense to all libels and slanders. One of the greatest legal minds of any generation told us that, so it must be true.
We’ll work on finding out who it is.
Here’s your wanted poster for Daniel Bernath who was never a Chief Petty Officer honorably or otherwise. MCPO NYC got an email from CDR John W. White, USN (Ret), who is the President of the National Association of Naval Photography, you know the group that Bernath claims bestowed upon him an “Honorable” Chief Petty Officer rank. Well, Commander White sends;
The National Association of Naval Photography (NANP) has never conferred the title of “Honorary Chief Petty Officer” upon anyone. Therefore, we would have no official records substantiating Mr. Bernath’s claim concerning the title. Please note that only the Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy has the authority to confer such a title.
D’oh! Who thought that someone would check, right?
Oh, did I mention that Daniel Bernath, is going to be “Gregory Banks famous” in a few days? Well, he will.
Category: Phony soldiers
I have large reserve supplies of TP, MREs, canned goods, spices, blankets and outerwear, and most importantly, steel and lead. I do need to get a water storage tank – although I guess it’ll freeze solid in the Ice Age followed by Bernath’s inevitable assumption of room temperature.
ExHack, you forgot the most important thing: UNDERWEAR, you silly man! Or were you planning on going commando?
Just stopping by to post a ‘good morning, TAH’ before I set about my daily tasks.
No one is done with you, bernutsless. No matter what things you think you’re being clever about doing where you think we can’t see you, none of it will work. We have too much backup on you. You might as well stick to annoying your wife and posing with those crutches you don’t really need.
Ex-PH2: priorities, dear lady. Priorities.
Going “commando” is a workable option. Regarding going w/o TP – corn cobs are a mite rough. (smile)
Hondo, corn husks, the kind used for tamales, work just fine. They come in packs, they’re cheap and easily stored, and will serve multiple purposes.
Ex, I have a goodly supply of those too. Probably a couple dozen pairs. Like ammo, I ‘bought em cheap and stacked em deep.’ However, some of my skivvies are getting rather Bernathlike: raggedy, perma-stained, holey, fraying, saggy, and looking like what one might find at – how did the Judge put it? – a ‘squat and gobble.’ I may have to bite the bullet and get a couple of bulk packs’ worth of new chonies soon.
@OAE CPO #198:
Yowcha! He (whomever) mentioned his name 24 times in that article.
–ghp
@ghp95134 You’re a stronger man than me. I got dizzy halfway through that article. Must have been the methane emissions from all the shit that was in it.
A member of Bernie bernath’s VFW post sent me a link today from the willamette weekly. It’s from 2005 but it’s a hoot. It’s under the caption “Rogue of the Week”
The article zeros in on some of his “Law Ethics”
Wweek.com Daniel Bernath
Pay close attention to some of the comments at the end of the article. The pro comments have a very familiar style. ITS BERNIE BERNATH played by himself
It’s a bad sign when his buddies at the VFW are making fun of him with folks here.
Who knows how he was given a TS clearance when he has character issues (ie. Deadbeat Father) Even though I have seen guys who filed bankruptcy twice get a clearance.
@204….HONDO, in regard to going Commando, February 1971 beating the bush with the 1st Cav. Everyone got rid of those skivvies, jungle rash, don’t you know. Gone Commando ever since. A piece of personal info I thought you would like to know about. (Smile)
3/17AirCav, I hope that you did not expect your significant other to handle your unprotected pants with bare hands.
Going commando since 1971? 43 years of no underoos. Hmmm…. Just how did you manage to zip your pants without snagging something important, AirCav?
@213…… It’s very simple, no ego here. Small goods, underneath that pimple, behind that dimple. I’m a legend in my own mind!
EX-PH2 and 3/17 AC … Get a room.
By the way, since we are on this topic of commando and skivvies, how is Sparks doing?
@215….. MCPO, I’m just acting out what my SeaWolve buddies taught me. (Smile)
Re: Sparks – good question. I’m wondering, too, but I’m sure he’ll check in when he can.
Ex-PH asked: “Going commando since 1971? 43 years of no underoos. Hmmm…. Just how did you manage to zip your pants without snagging something important, AirCav?”
Simple answer: Hung like a Bull Mosquito
Well, we simply can’t let this die away to nothing, can we?
bernastypantsman, you’re still in my sights. It’s a nice day outside. I’d rather pay attention to the sunshine than spend it on a worthless piece of pure, unadulterated, lying crap like you, but I owe that much to Shep.
bernutsless, you are now, always have been by your own admission, and always will be a lying, disgusting, slovenly, warthog-faced, hag-eyed codpiece clamp.
And you smell like stinky feet and pickle juice, like every panhandling jackanapes that ever hit me up for booze money on the streets after long nights in the alleys next to trash dumpsters.
I meme it
http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b559/wesley_wilson1/46458770_zps87ecb98d.jpg
@Wesley Wilson AKA Enigma4you: Nice.
Hondo, can you get a pdf of the wanted poster for bernutsless? I can’t get it to print out on my mechanical thingy.
Yeppers. With your permission, I’ll e-mail it to you.
Oh Dannyee Boyee … Howya doin’?
STANDBY FOR HEAVY WAVES!
Ex-PH2: in answer to your question – when going “commando”, a man learns quickly to operate certain zippers VERY carefully, and only when they’re 100% unobstructed. (smile)
Hey Dannyee Boyee,
You are attempting to change your web signature by modifying various pages of your on-line persona and other sites.
Well good news is you might fool the village moron, but bad news is … you won’t fool us!
http://archive.org/web/
Everything you have ever plastered on the web is found here for all to review … and it can not be changed, modified and or deleted.
So your little trick to add Lawyer, California Bar, did not work! Nor did the trick to remake your on-line resume to read more like a parody did not work either.
You see Dannyee Boyee as per ALGORE.net … the interweb is forever!
See you in the news!
Hondo, Jonn has my e-mail. Bug him for it.
I may have a surprise coming for you guys.
How is that thing with the Oregonian coming along?
@226 that’s why commando with the button fly is a safer situation…you definitely don’t want the beans over the pork…
EX — shhhssshhshhhhh
Going well!
EX-PH2:
I have just sent the Daniel Bernath Wanted Poster to you, attached as a JPEG, as I normally send these things your way. I am to “UnTech” to know how to even do a PDF, and not really trying to learn. I deal with images rather than the printed word, so my style works for me.
Sitting here this afternoon, drip drying after a shower, getting ready to attend a gathering of my fellow Troop Supporters.
Ex-PH2: in light of Frankly Opinionated’s comment above, please advise if you still need the PDF version. I can send that later today if still needed.
@226 VOV
Remember the ancient wisdom, “It is better to have a pubic hair in your fly than a fly in your pubic hair.”
As 216 asked: WTF re Sparks? He’s been silent too long for my comfort. One can only enjoy so many sponge baths from Nurse Ratched.
Thank you all for your input. I have something important coming up. (Snickers up her sleeve. 😉 😉 😉 )
Re: Sparks: don’t know, haven’t heard anything yet. Knee surgery does require some PT.
Alert. BOLO for news.
WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!
Master Chief, did you get my last transmittal?
This link is to a thread at a TV station’s site. Bernath has put his two counterfeit cents worth in, and the thread is still open, so we can leave some love for the locals:
http://www.kgw.com/news/Portland-teachers-strike-would-end-season-for-JV-freshman-athletes-245691741.html
I left the link to the graphic that I did up this morning with Bernath and Shep in a Side by Side illustration:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10201858747405471&set=a.1919664866442.2096649.1086639350&type=3&theater
@240 Frankly Check your “Other” folder in FB messages.
Still here, bernutsless. Not going away any time soon. NOT EVAH!
When is that newspaper running its story?
Soon EX-PH2 Bernath will be “Banks” famous!
Soon my dear!
It looks like the link to the TV news story isn’t going to the Bernath story.
Never mind, I just saw the snide remarks he made regarding the school teacher story.
So much to say, so little time.
But don’t worry, bernastypantsman. You are still at the top of the heap of scumbags with me.
I will make sure that EVERYONE knows about you.
Smooches!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3
Hello Dannyee Boyee!
Dear all – if you can stand the irony, check out this Bernath web page from 2002 entitled “Old Chiefs”: http://web.archive.org/web/20020612093318/http://www.aspecialdayguide.com/yorktown/chiefs.htm Bernath’s opening sentence – “One thing we weren’t aware of at the time but became evident as life wore on, was that we learned true leadership from the finest examples any lad was ever given, Chief Petty Officers.” And further on, in an excerpt that is apparently in Bernath’s own words re Chief Petty Officers: “At the rare times you saw a Chief topside in dress canvas, you saw rows of hard-earned worn and faded ribbons over his pocket. “Hey Chief, what’s that one and that one?” “Oh Hell kid, I think it was the time I fell out of a hookers bed, I can’t remember. There was a war on. They gave them to us to keep track of the campaigns we had in-country. We got our news from AFRV (Armed Forces Radio Vietnam) and Stars and Strips (newspaper). To be honest, we just took their word for it. Hell son, you couldn’t pronounce most of the names of the villages we went. They’re all gee-dunk. Listen kid, ribbons don’t make you a Sailor. The Purple one on top? ok, I do remember earning that one.” And, at the bottom of this archive, quoting Chief of Naval Operations Admiral Frank B. Kelso II on the 100th anniversary of the creation of the rank of Chief Petty Officer, April 1, 1993: “In the United States Navy, the title “Chief Petty Officer” carries with it responsibilities and privileges no other armed force in the world grants enlisted people. These responsibilities and privileges exist because for 100 years, Chiefs have routinely sought out greater challenges and assumed more responsibility. “The example set by Chiefs for the last century inspires our young men and women of today. Indeed what Americans see in our impressive young sailors is the tradition of devotion and dedication the first Chiefs established with their sacrifices and valor. “In large measure they have not only ensured my success, but the success of every person who has served in… Read more »
Archived.
What a fuckstain.
Old Daniel-san borrowed from (and may the Surface Warfare Gods forgive me for saying this) that fine Submariner Dex Armstrong. That part about Chiefs comes from this writing by Dex http://www.olgoat.com/substuff/dex207.htm
Granted, I’ve seen variations on what Dex wrote show up elsewhere. But if Daniel-san is claiming that as his own, then being fired from a torpedo tube should be added to his list of punishments.
And if you want to read more by Dex, all of his stuff can be found here.
http://www.olgoat.com/substuff/abr.htm
At least Dex has a disclaimer on that page: “If the going rate for bullshit ever goes to a dime a pound, all diesel boat sailors will become zillionaires!”
Daniel-san, you aren’t worthy enough to even carry Dex’s toenail clippings.
I’d salute him right in the ass with my size 7.5 ..unfortunately, he would probably enjoy it…
Remember that part on bernutsless’s site about being a ‘proud member of the Radio Shack batter club’?
This just in on the news at noon today: Radio Shack is officially closing its doors on all of its 4000+ stores.
Gee, where will dandan the bernastypantsman get his free batteries now?
This is a perfect example if Bernath’s reality. Here are few quotes from Bernath’s interview for the Library of Congress, Veterans History Project, April 19, 2007:
Quotes # 1: Daniel Bernath – “We can project power anywhere we need to. One of the true questions is who said, “Where are my aircraft carriers?” Every president since Theodore Roosevelt “Where are my aircraft carriers?”
Comment: Really Bernath? Do you know anything about about American and Naval history? Do you know when T. Roosevelt served as President? Have you ever heard of the USS Langley (CV-1)? Do you know the history of the Langely, where it came from and her years of service? NO YOU DON’T … Your perception of what reality is … IS ALL LIES and MADE UP BULLSHIT!
T. Roosevelt: September 14, 1901 – March 4, 1909.
USS Langley (CV-1): Commissioned in 1922 – Scuttled in 1942.
Quote # 2: Daniel Bernath – “If there was a crisis he goes, “Where are my aircraft carriers?” That’s the first thing they do. You think, “Well, gee, they look like they are so easy to blow up, but they’ve always been the key, the first instrument the president uses.”
Comment: Wrong! Often the use of an aircraft carrier is the last thing a President would do, if they were available. In T. Roosevelt’s case … they were never available because the term “aircraft carrier” was not developed until the early 1920′s. In addition, there are far more effective diplomatic and military strategies available for a President to use. The positioning of an aircraft carrier is not done lightly and only exercised when the use of military force is truly warranted and needed to protect the interests of the US. In short, as in comment about quote # 1, Bernath just makes up BS as matter daily practice and he has no true knowledge of US and naval history.
KMRIA Bernath!