Ex-POW needs your free car
Chris sent us his conversation with a dude (we’re still not sure what his name is) who claimed to be a former POW of the Vietnam War and went on CraigsList to beg for a free car. So Chris started asking him questions about his service;
Unsure of who you are? Are you Rich Tower or James Christopher Smith? The picture in the ad shows you in jungle fatigues, does that mean you were Army? How long were you a POW? What unit were you with?
Chris
when I arrived from germany in 74 on the hanoi mercy flight I didnt know my name. I was idenitified w/ fingerprints from the F.B.I. i guess being the littlest guy in hanoi, i oppted to be regrooved. does the name RICH TOWER mean anything to you? good or bad? we are but few left……………………………..Rev. James Christopher Smith PEACE ADVOCATE
When Chris told him that neither name appears on DoD lists of POWs from Vietnam, the Peace Advocate got a little less peaceful;
DEAR CRISSY. AS THE P.O.W. LISTING INCLUDES LESS TAN 10%OF THE LIVING P.O.W.S AND CONGRESSMAN DEJUARIS NEEDS A FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT TO GET INTO MY FILES(CLOSED BY THE U.S. SECRET SERVICE) I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TELL ME WHERE YOU LIVE AND WHEN YOULL BE HOME SO I CAN VISIT YOU, MY WANABE COP FRIEND, WHITH MY STRAIGHTRAZOR AND NAVAL JELLY TO TEACH YOU A LITTLE RESPECT. I SUGGEST YOU NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN……………………………LORD BE WITH YOU…………JAMES
Chris answered;
Oh my god, not the sealed records story. Now you’re adding communicating threats to the Stolen Valor charges. Are you going to walk to my house? Please bring a few of those squash with you. Tell you what, apologize on craigslist for being a lousy piece of shit poser and I won’t go to the cops with this. By the way, you put your address on the ad, which I’ve already copied.
Which resulted in this response from the Peace Advocate;
DEAR CRIS C. GO SHIT IN YOUR HAT YOU FILTHY PIEON DERILECT GLORYHOLE SCUMBUM!
I’ll concede that the DoD list includes 10% of the people claiming to be POWs, the other 90% are fakes. Including this dude. Scotty has screenshots of the conversation.
Category: Phony soldiers
Hoping he passed on the e-mails to his local Law Enforcment.
What a jackass!
Can’t remember his name upon return? Check
One of those not on the 10% list? Check
Sealed records? Check
Rockin’ the PTSD with flashes of violence? Check
Sportin’ the jungle fatigues when out in public? Check
Threatening anyone that questions his story? Check
Peace advocate? Check
Yep, he’s gotta be legit.
Old Trooper, i have got to remember that list, i could make my career so much more exciting.
this guy is something else, I did not lose my leg in vietnam to have to listen to this shit
thats right, i said i did not lose my leg in vietnam, how did yall take that?
He can have my old car. It’s in the junk yard. Scrapped.
Geez, was he even IN the service at all?
Waiting….!
His files were “closed by the U.S. Secret Service”? Is he claiming to be a POW or a nutcase who threatened the President?
He blacked out. So his service record is blank.
LORD BE WITH YOU
See, Psulie-boi? If you’d just ended all your rants, whines, and threats with that, you’d be in the clear!
Oh, okay–not so much. You’re still a shitbag, just like this douchetool.
@5–PH2–as to whether or not this guy served, the Vegas line stands right now at “Oh fuck no!”
Whenever I read these I get an overwhelming urge to hold these 4sshole’s heads down in a bucket of water until they stop wiggling….
There are plenty of people whose DNA won’t be missed at all in the gene pool. This is why we are decaying, in nature the stupid, the weak, the totally f#cking useless have the common decency to die and remove themselves from polluting the rest of the herd…instead because of our humanity we prop up the worst genes of the dumbest, laziest, most useless members of the herd, and then incredibly we allow them to reproduce off the profit of the strong and smart.
I’ll bet he sounds like Ernest P. Worrell.
VOV–true dat. And people thought Idiocracy was just a funny movie.
NHSparky, count me in!
I’m waiting for the super secret squirrel stuff to start….
There I was, in the jungle with the local Bru tribe. It was dark and I was hungry. Somebody lit up a Marlboro and threw away his BIC pocket lighter by mistake. It hit the tripwire for a homemade Claymore and detonated. I believe it was a Tuesday. It’s always Tuesdays with Claymore.
Fake story there, PH2. You mentioned nothing about the mission was to capture VC Col. Wat Du Phuck.
Thank you Lord….no Cav Patch. Chris, can I be there when he visits…please, oh please! I’ll bring my buddy Tom Latendesse with me. He’d be more than happy to talk about old times with him.
Uhhh. Whaaaaaat?????
Latendresse….sorry Tom, left out the r.
Damn! NHSparky, that’s all that super secret secret squirrel stuff. It’s classified!
That story cost me 4000P at the whorehouse at Tommy’s Place in Saigon when I was a stringer for Agence France Presse. I had to listen to Phuan Hung-Lo rattle on about round-eye donut dollies until I was bored to tears. He wouldn’t shut up until I bought him a black market bottle of Stoli. Then he pulled a genuine NVA belt with a red star buckle out of his vest pocket and I knew he’d been telling me the troot.
@17 – GaaH! Spellcheck. That should be ‘da troot’.
“Toothless moron who likes to put vegetables up ass needs a beating.”
Now pay attention to the pic. This is why you always, always, always wash fruit and vegetables before eating them. It has nothing whatsoever to do with pesticides.
Regrooved ? As in, having your fingerprints changed ? I guess there are severe penalties for being short in Vietnam.
I did pass the email string along to the Murfreesboro Police. I also forwarded this link to the Ass Clown but suprisingly, no reply! I’m leaning toward the fact that he dd serve, but in Germany in the mid 70s. Here’s his reply when I asked for his unit:
Rich Tower was my family name, James Smith is my run, dodge, and jump name. Both are legal, I was whith D11 out of Dix and delta 23 out of ft. lenord wood in 72 then 317th eng of the 130th till ride to rein main then total blackout till Hanoi Mercy Flight to andrews to walter reed in 74. i dont want a blow for blow i know myself and i put in a good showing for myself, god, and country. all you owe me is to live a good life, dont look back it will turn you into a pillar of salt. god bless you . no more questions O.K.? do you have a old car?
Derelict gloryhole scumbum?
I love the “total blackout” bit, like he was jason bourne and was shanghaied from a support outfit in West Grmany and turned into a super duper secret squirrel until he was recovered “by a Hanoi mercy flight to andrews in ’74”. But all that leads to the really important question: “do you have a car?”
“James Smith is my run, dodge, and jump name”.
Wow. I need to come up with a catchy stop, drop and roll name.
The time frame is right and I’m wondering now if this is the guy that bought a “sole” of hash in Amsterdam and tried to smuggle it into Germany. The polizei had to let him go because there wasn’t any law against smuggling camel shit. Smoking that might explain his blackouts.
Caption for the photo of this tool: “This squash is at least 3 times bigger than my . . . .”
Meth–not even once. And now you know why.
If you have a run, dodge, and jump name, you can dodge a wrench.
Delta 23 outta Lost-in-the-Woods – think he meant to say Delta-2-3, He even fucked up a Basic Training reference.
Not sure which is worse, the assholes who respond in all caps or the assholes like he and ‘vietnamwarpser’ who never punctuate or capitalize.
I can almost certainly guess he’s not a day over 60, if that.
I don’t think he’s old enough to have been in in ’73
Holy flaming bag of ass Batman!! Some people need to be beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten and beaten.
….and then beaten just once more for good measure.
Germany in 74 huh? Strange, Operation Homecoming ran from Feb 12 to April 4, in 19freaking73 and the POWs were flown to Clark Air Base in the Philippines. Must have been a long trip from Hanoi to Germany.
There was a secret bombing run over Russian on the way back from Hanoi to Germany, where Major Kong rode a 50-megaton crowd pleaser down into teach those godless commie bastards one last lesson.
Hey, sounds as good as anything else meth mouth came up with.
Should have set up the meeting and confronted wino face to face. Once wino got the balls to pull out his screwdriver he should have been ventilated for the benefit of humanity.
If he had just said “Sick old vet needs a car” he would be home free. But, No! He needs to be special. So he makes up the dumbest story ever told and now he gets pissed off at anyone that tries to clarify or verify his tale of woe. I wonder how long his criminal record goes back. Because you know anyone with a Run, Dodge, and Jump name probably has one.
Hmm, speaking of bombing…
http://www.newschannel5.com/story/23176505/no-explosive-device-found-in-murfreesboro-home
Same address he posted on Craig’s List.
I’ve never known a legitimate Viet Nam veteran to BEG for anything.
All the Viet Nam veterans I’ve ever been acquainted with would either obtain what they needed honestly, or they’d steal it.
But, I never saw one beg for anything.
@24 — How ’bout “Carlos Danger”?
I have reviewed the above evidence and all I can say is: It is becoming clearer to me now.
@36 – Perhaps the poor lady who reported the bomb threat also didn’t believe his POW claims…
@6 Maybe he was trying to pay for his living expenses with counterfeit money.
I see this guy making the tournament, but not going beyond the first round. He’s low, but there are some we’ve seen to this point that are lower. Right now, my early favorite is Dumbasski, the fly-tying fake.
Lebben–nah, it’s early. This guy might hit the Excremental Eight, but certainly not the Fecal Four.
@42, I foresee Don Shipley filling most of the top seeds with his busts from his youtube channel.
Sparky, he’s just an early favorite. I’m certain there’ll be other worse than him. But I like to start my ranking early, so I don’t forget anybody when tournament time rolls around.
Andy, the coifed one does provide ample fodder for our derision. But others provide even more so that all the branches of service are represented in the tournament, lest we be accused of favoritism.
100% poser bullshit,I’ll bet a family member or friend served in Germany,and he is just using that to get free stuff,he should be arrested and beaten with the yellow pages(do they even print them anymore?)What a bag of shit he is.
#46 Pat,
Yeah, they still print them, but they’re small now. It would take a very long time to administer the beating to the correct level. 🙂
@38 – Naw, it’s been taken. And “Danger” would be a dead giveaway. Notice how this guy chose Smith – now that’s a name that someone whose records are sealed by the Secret Service would choose.
So were his records sealed before or after the Secret Service became part of DHS? It would be interesting to have non-Coast Guard military records sealed by the Department of Transportation.
I can sympathize, though. I’d like to be able to share all my exploits, but my records were sealed by the FHA.
My records were sealed by the Boy Scouts