Steve Faulkner; infantry, air assualt sniper in his mind
Scotty sends us his latest phony, Steve Faulkner, he says “Hooah” so you know he’s realz;
But you know when NPRC includes your MEPPS station in your list of assignment, you had a pretty abbreviated military career compared to the rest of us.
But on the upside, he still outranks many of our phonies who had longer careers.
While I have your attention, please stop sending me link to Mike Wilson’s Facebook page. I’ve received it no less than a hundred times this last weekend. The page is a clone page and we dealt with him over a year ago. These clones piss me off more than the actual phonies. I mean, how pathetic is a phony phony? The clones just screw us all up and waste our time.
Category: Phony soldiers
Well written post. Funny.
Having a bad day.
Needed a laugh.
Oh, I forgot.
Turd.
What an assbucket, I wonder how soon we’ll see DullAss Witlessfart come to his defense?
but. but. but. He said, “hooah” so you know he’s real!
On the positive, this fuck knuckle served longer than Giduck!
ANAYSIS:
Nothing says, “US Army, 11B, Airborne, Infantry, Sniper” like the duck hunting pattern.
FINAL ANALYSIS:
REAL DEAL!
Isn’t this Mike Wilson’s inbred-ed cousin ?
As an aside, every unit I’ve served with and worked with were “No Hooah” zones. I had one FSG explain it me like this “Hooah means ‘Anything but ‘no’, and that means it means ‘F&#* Off’ and so the next person that tells me that will get smoked until they crap, piss, and bleed all over themselves.”
@7 Good to know. You know why people say Hooah, because you cannot say Hoo RAH with a penis in your mouth. I bet that makes a lot more places ” No Hooah Zones”.
This guy’s not even trying. At least Coldiron paid money and sat through a tattoo.
2 months and 7 days, did they create some sort of accelerated basic/ait/airborne/sniper program for douchebags?
It would be nice to be able to get some brochures printed up and passed around so the general public might have some idea that serious douchebags and actual military personnel aren’t that hard to separate and identify. But when in doubt verify…..since a 2 month stint usually means either a serious injury or a serious mental case…..and it never means anyone ever finished basic or school….c’mon people this sh1t ain’t that hard….
He couldn’t even make it through 10 weeks of boot camp.
Women do better than he did.
This means that he isn’t even as good as a girl.
What a dork.
Is this 67-Day MEPPS commando and OSUT reject claiming to be an 11 Bravo O-6? That’s chutzpah…
As an addendum to #12 above, the dingbat should have done some minimal research and put himself down as an 11 Alpha if he was stupud enough to claim he was an infantry O-6…
He’s but a dingleberry compared to the full fledged Turds bobbing in the bowl of Stolen Valor
I don’t think I ever said Hooah in Army other than in a joking manner.
the Army*
#15/16,
See–just typing it makes you dumber (smile).
Huzzah! Huzzah! Now, tell me that was any better. Go ahead, but you have to do it with a straight face.
“Hooahh” has two meanings. One is “Yeah, I’m ready, and I’ll do it!” The other is “F^&K YOU, but I’ll do it anyway!”
@19 That’s easier than this explanation for fahgetaboutit:
“Forget about it is like if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it! you know? But then, it’s also like if something’s the greatest thing in the world, like mingia those peppers, forget about it. But it’s also like saying Go to hell! too. Like, you know, like “Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker?” and Paulie says “Forget about it!” Sometimes it just means forget about it.” (Donnie Brasco
We had a retired Sgt Major that worked at recruit clothing issue at MCRD in San Diego. He was a bit along in years and starting to lose touch, if ya know what I mean. Great guy and would help you out a lot, was very active in Veterans organizations. The only thing about him was he would say “Ooorah” about every 3 word. Except it always sounded like he was saying “Ira” It got so everyone thought that was his first name.
#21…you are talking about SgtMaj Mccook…he ALWAYS DID THAT!!
Is there a military detention facility in or near Baltimore? Or a big military hospital? The only thing I can think of is the Coast Guard yard in Curtis Bay. I wonder why he was in Baltimore, unless he was at the recruiting station on his way in.
Just had a dude telling folks how he was Special Forces today… somebody asked me what I did in Iraq, “I fixed broken mess kits.”
Closed.
Paul (of the Ballsack) and Phildo are living on Tom Waits song “Living on Closing Time.”
And no BAC for this turd?
Odd.
@22 No his last name was Paxton, Great old Corps guy. Laid back but I’ve seen him light up a “Bob” for doing stupid shit at issue.
I went though the 1st Sgt’s course with his son who was a reservist. The younger Paxton was SDPD and was the one who ended up shooting the guy that stole the tank in the mid 90’s and ended up getting it stuck on the concrete barrier in the median on the 163.
Another dickwad bedwetter.. Jeez.
To understand anything “Pee Wee Herman” Wickre or Dullass Wittgenfeld say requires level 4 fluency in STUPID!!! We just CAN’T HAVE nice things around here…
Here’s his facebook. According to this he’s an 11C. As far as the whole O-6 thing is concerned did he state he was a full bird, because it looks like it was referenced as his highschool. Col. Richardsen High School.
forgot the link lol https://www.facebook.com/steve.j.faulkner.90?fref=ts
I messages the guy, told him he was wrong for putting it up, and then told him…politely….to take it down…
Old Dog….
Ok, cause McCook used to talk like that and was a SgtMaj on the depot….
#30: That being the name of his high school would make more sense that he claiming to be an O-6. He is still a poser phony, though…
@30. So now he’s an 11C? Can he snipe with a mortar system? YES…HE…CAN!!! Because he’s just that damn good, that’s why. Once, I saw him take out a muj at 5000m with an 81. Didn’t level his bubbles or anything, just eyeballed it. I asked him how he did it, he just smiled and told me he used the force.
After almost 20 years of service, I think the last time I said Hooah was when guys in funny hats were yelling at me.
@35: Shoot, sniping the muj at 5000m with an 81 is for pussies; heck, when I was an 11C waaaay back when, we sniped the norks at 6000m with a four-deuce M30; much bigger sniping bang for the buck…(obviously sarc)…
Wowzers!! The competition for next year’s Soulpatch MacBallduster Follies is really stacking up. The field will provide a target-rich environment.
@37 — How old was that FourDeuce? We had one in our HHC that dated to pre-WWII and that was in the 1980’s.
Big farking mortar round for our mortar maggots.
Good times, good times.
Retraded
@37 was by me (did not realize the computer cache had been cleared out). During my 11C career, I was in the CSC of a leg infantry battalion, and we were equipped with 4.2 inch M30s transported in gamma goats. The M30 was issued starting in 1951, and replaced the M2 4.2 in. chemical mortar of WWII vintage. The 4.2 M30 was phased out in the late 1980’s by a 120mm mortar that was based on an Israeli design, I think. Yup, the four-deuce round was a big one, and used the funny little yellow honey wax charge sheets versus the bagged charges of the 81mm M29…
@37. That’s nothing. My boy Faulkner once hit a haji in the eye at 10,000m with a 145mm mortar. Hand held, direct lay.
@42: I can go better than that. Once, we had to pitch our four-deuce rounds directly at the norks because our tube got busted. We armed the rounds with a rock-strike and pitched them like huge softballs for pin-point sniping-like accuracy against the norks, just like the Hollywood rangers did in “Private Ryan” with the 60 rounds, except we got better pitching arms (totally sarc)…
Shit, that ain’t nuthin–there was this one mission where I was Space Shuttle door gunner, and they gave me this wicked kickass death laser to play with, but instead we used it to prank this asshole professor who my buddy Chris set up with a Sam’s Club/BJ’s/Costco sized pan of Jiffy Pop in his house. Filled that sumbitch up and blew the roof off, too.
Combat Historian: were you and your guys yelling “Kim Il-Sung kaesikiya!” while doing that? (smile)
@46 – better yet, just give me money. I won’t do anything for it. I won’t bother spamming comment sections of blogs that I don’t care about. Just give me money. Thanks!
So I did the gentlemanly thing and posted this article to his facebook wall, took him less than 15 min to unfriend me.
Sorry for the double post but I am having a conversation with Steve as I type this. Here are his claims:
“Look slap nuts before u go on a fucking tangant about stollen valor i was fuckin hacked about 2 months ago by an 18 year old kid that my x wife was caught fucking i am NOT posting this shit never made claim to be any of that shit period i broke my back in 7 spots in boot on eagle tower do before you jump people and assume you l know shit ya might wanna ASK first 10-4 ?”
“Actually its been 3 months sorry hit 2 on accident typing on an I phone but ive had charges pressed on him for the shit stalking terroristic threatening as he threaten to KILL my children as well as myself so therefore i say next time please ask before you assume i am 32 years old and know fuckin well better than to claim shit thats not so”
Not the first time one of these jokers has screamed “Hacked” and I’m pretty sure if he “broke his back in 7 places” he’d still have spent longer than 3 total months in. The medical treatment alone would have been more extensive than that.
Another quick update and I’m done I swear.
Steve calmed down a bit and gave me the name of the person who supposedly hacked his account. Micheal Payne, his fiance’s cousin in law.
Mr. Payne’s facebook can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/michaeljr88
Steve says Micheal claims to be an “Infantry SFC with only 5 years in”. (Again these are Steve’s words, I haven’t seen anything from Micheal)
I should state that after the initial 2 messages, Steve was quite civil and polite. I directed him to address his concerns by contacting Jonn through the Contact Us section of this blog to address any concerns he has over the legitimacy of the article. I also reminded him that these matters do not go away and that when googling his name Scotty’s site is the 2nd result right after his facebook page.
Anyway, I have more thrilling outprocessing to do tommorrow so I’m going to call it a night.
Wait.
i was fuckin hacked about 2 months ago by an 18 year old kid
Yet
Micheal claims to be an “Infantry SFC with only 5 years in”
So he’s claiming he’s been telling people that…at 18…he has 5 years in?
That doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Am I reading it wrong?