Ladies and Gents, I present to you your 2013 Stolen Valor Tournament Champion….
[Note, push play on this shitty ass recorder to get official music.]
I urge you to click through and see, but we got a pretty candid picture of our winner, what is seen cannot be unseen.
John “Gi-Duck” Giduck.
The final tally: Giduck def. Monkress 65.15% to 34.85%.
Category: None
I must have been one of the only ones voting for Monkeyass.
I gave him one vote(Monkress) but felt GI Duck deserved the Win more. Though I really wish we had a Best Supporting Actress category, as that would have gone hands down to Paul K Wickre.
I was in Phildo’s corner but Gidduck was a tough opponent.
Hats off.
That proofs it´s not enough to just send a dellusional whacko (Psul) to fight for your victory in the SVT. No you have to become that crazy person yourself.
Well played GI Duck, well played.
Mon-kee-ASS!! Mon-kee-ASS!! Mon-kee-ASS!!
What? He lost? By 2-1 margin? FUCKITYDOUBLEFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!
Atta boy, Psulie-boi and Phil, you came in second place, and you know what that makes YOU? First loser!
You fucked up at fucking up. Momma would be so proud.
I was Phildo all the way but after the lawsuit and financial asshattery he has and continues to pull affecting members of the special forces community, I figured that GOOEYDICK had to get a vote from me.
Psula and Princess Phildonea are always going to come in, in Second Place…..as it should be.
/I can’t wait to see the Psul and Phildo melt down
The best combat shovel training video of all time. OF. ALL. TIME!
http://youtu.be/wisFUOxVUHs
Monkeyass is rendered invalid.
I was pulling for Monkeyass, but I figure it is better that he is the first loser than any kind of a winner. With permission, I would still like to forward the results to the various news agencies. I’m sure than even runner up (or running down the leg) would be a good bit of publicity for Monkeyass’ business.
My 2 year record remains intact: no one I voted for won. Including Romney. Damn.
I voted Monkress on the first day, but after reading of Giduck’s hassling of the SF guy, I went with the true winner.
As hard as Paul K. Wickre worked to get his Boi Monkeybutt the win, he once again, (as has been his life pattern), fell short in his performance.
Giduck winning emphasizes that Pauli Boi is a Pathetic LOSER.
I call shenanigans!!! Someone stuffed the box!!!
Dang-that pic not only has made my eyes bleed, but since I’m looking at it while at work, a possible incredibly embarrassing if it comes up on some kind of scan.
The shovel had to get it.
For the LOVE. OF. gOD. What did I just see??
At least I voted for the wiener! Goo-Dick for the win!!!!
I, too, voted initially for Monkeyass, but after really reading about Giduck, especially his treatment of an actual SF soldier, the gloves came off.
So question here, is GI-Duck going to stick he BDMSPM (Ballduster McSoulpatch Memorial) award trophy up next to the twirly shovel he’s got stuck on his mantle?
Psul is gonna be pissed.
My eyes! Geez!!! TSO, have some pity on us women folk!
Not before breakfast with stuff like that!!
Not enough eyebleach or brainbleach.
The Shoveler wins! The nastier of two nasty men gets the nod. I only stuffed the ballot box twice.
I’m happy for him, but sad for psulie-o the uncoolie-o, because his butt buddy did not win.
Now I can get on with my life.
My man Giddickless!!! You can’t see it right now, but I’m giving the International Hand and Arm Signal for Metal!!!!
We should send him a rusty, feces-encrusted E-tool as symbol of his triumph.
Let the shame of completing only 58 days in the Army fall away from him at last! Now he can hold his head high around his Russian contacts/controllers for having a title that he actually EARNED!
That image just ruined not only my day but the rest of my summer!
Hats off to the winner, it could not have happended to a more hated low life poser flunky coward!
He has inspired many a Shovel Warfare Technicians (SWT):
Good thing I’m not hung over from the Yes concert last night… I would most certainly be woofing up a few chunks after seeing that !!!
Ditto on flip flopping between Monkeyass and GIDuck. I had to go with the duck because, after both had gone full retard on the legal thing, only the duck had the fortitude to stick it out and actually go to court.
There is not enough BRAIN BLEACH in this world to wash away the vision of the first picture…seared into the inner recesses of my mind for all eternity.
TSO
Seeing that picture makes me wonder what you were doing in the same room with Gooey-duck NAKED to be able to take that picture??
Inquiring minds, and all that.
Now, I need to hie me to the emergency room to stop the bleeding from my eyes.
I’m off to the Army/Navy store to get an e-tool, and re-watch Geedunks video a few hundred times. I’m going to celebrate with it this evening and practice my sweet shovel fighting skills.
Girls like guys with sweet skills, you know?
Finally something real for his resume. Damn, I bet his family is proud.
Time to make an appointment with my opthamologist. My eyes are burning from the family pictures on this thread.
I was going with Giduck the whole time. Monkey-ass was nothing without the insane ramblings of Psul.
GIGGITY GIGGITY GIDUCK!
It was all that last minute electioneering for gooeydick that pushed him over the top. Kudos to his supporters for shoveling him onto the top of the dung heap. But Monkeyass the never-was SEAL will always be #1 to me.
You punks on this POS mil/kook blog make yourselves look like damn fools. Shame on you all.
The best you jackasses can promote are these two ZEROs… and civilian Wickre too… Idiots. iPredators galore. I have noticed all you assholes really do is post and squawk about everything that others have done or found or copying news articles. “LOSERS” You fuckstix need to get a real life and stop your cyber/addictions in the public places. Go jack off in your own backyards weirdos..
Like many, my first vote was for Monkey-man but after being enlightened, I threw my support to GI-Duck. The worst of the worst prevailed.
uh-oh, the angry troll is back. sorry loopy lrp, but nobody here is going to feed you any rage or tears.
TSO. About that picture…sick, twisted, demented, cruel, unusual, horrible, terrifying, deranged, morbid, putrid, lecherous….
Nope. There are no words. Well, maybe one:
AAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It appears that ShOrTbUsPaTrOl41 Dingleberry Wittless Wittgenfeld has a man crush on the winner.
It strange how he always buddies up to the posers.But then the birds of a flock do fly together.
@ that # 30 SHoRt RaNgE PeNiS 41 Guy … he really cracks me up … sounding so sane, put together, and all!
I DEFINITELY, finally got the PTSD – from that picture! I’m permanently damaged.
Giduck finally got what he truly and genuinely earned. Do you all send him a certificate he can put with the ones from SF, CIA, Spetznaz, etc.? This prestigious award will look good on his CV and bios.
There are no winners in the Stolen Valor Tournament, but losers. We spent this time voting for the biggest loser of them all… the encoprolited one. Just as coprolite is fossilized shit, the “encoprolited one” is a memorialized turd… John Giduck goes down in “history” as the biggest turd of them all for this year. He gunned for being the “enlightened one” in things involving being a bad ass, but he ended up becoming the encoprolited one.
“(as has been his life pattern), fell short in his performance.” — Frankly Opinionated
That’s what Paul K. Wickre’s wife says about him, both in the bedroom and in being a man. He comes here to try to make up for those short comings.
Jonn should have the winner’s award in a couple of weeks. It’s already been ordered.
I think the right guy won. Despite my dislike for Phil, Giduck just out weighed him, pun intended.
Oh, I see Dumbasadoorknob stuck his oar in! How nice of you to drop by and let us know what a moron you are, Dullass! Really nice! I think I should copy and print your post to me yesterday that Jonn sent me before he trashed it. It was SO you! You only get to post what he lets you post, too.
Now go find a train crossing and stand on the tracks until the train comes by.
And don’t let us know whether or not you jumped away in time for the train to miss you. Because we don’t miss you at all.
@Scotty, it’s ‘birds of a feather do shit together’.
FARK YOU DULLASS FAKER SHITTINGBIRD.
/piece of crap phony military wannabe.
@27. Yep. That’s all Monkey was, a bit player made a star, larger than life, by a petty pest. I should never have doubted that this gang would do the right thing in the end and choose a deserving, self-made poser. Happy days are here again!
Ex-PH2: I think I saw that rant by that “goddamn civilian” WitLessOne before Jonn deleted it. Am I right?
“Go jack off in your own backyards weirdos..” Whoa. Who else thinks–let alone actually says–something so bizarre? That’s very strange stuff right there.
ChipNASA: in all fairness to WitLessOne – he did serve, honorably, and with some distinction during his somewhat less than 4 years on active duty.
He just decided to exaggerate what he actually did afterwards so that everyone would think he was John Wayne or Audie Murphy reincarnated, thus beclowing himself.
But at least he’s honest about the beclowning himself part. He used to skydive as a character called “Thunder Chicken” – as well as wear a clown suit while skydiving.
@30–DullASS sez:
You punks on this POS mil/kook blog make yourselves look like damn fools.
This from a fucktard who skydives in a clown suit, types like a 14-year old retarded girl texting, and FLIES drunk.
Stop. Hurt. Sides. Laughing.
2-17 Air Cav: actually, that’s a take on crude and juvenile line from the late 60s/early 70s: “Go back off in your own jack yard and see how your feeter peels.” Technically not obscene at all – but when it’s said aloud, what’s said is often not what’s heard. (smile)
Perhaps WitLessOne is regressing towards his second childhood. If he ever left his first childhood, that is.
@45–no shit. I’ve taken a wiz in the woods in my “back yard” but never rubbed one out. Must be something in the water down in Flori-DUH.
Dull-ASS, I’m also waiting to hear how that little party crashing and accosting Mrs. Schantag you were planning turned out, you greasy little assboil. Something tells me you’re just pissed you never won when you were up for it. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game, cause you fail at failing too.
Dickweed.
Well fuck-a-doodle-do. Phildo managed to let me down again.