Eric Eagle Tail; phony Marine Ranger
Several people sent us this dude’s Facebook page link. His name is Eric Logan Eagle Tail and he alternates between being a Marine and a Ranger. And, oh, yeah, he’s also a MMA fighter. Well, our buddy, Scotty, did a FOIA on him and the National Personnel Records Center says “Who?”
He might be Captain America, too;
When he’s not being a multi-tour Marine Ranger;
Category: Phony soldiers
Port Orchard!? I’ll see if I can have my buddy check him out.
Is MMA fighting like pro-wrestling, where the wrestlers wear phony outfits and SGT Slaughter pretends to be a drill sergeant? If not, then this doofus definitely needs to improve on his “gyrene ranger” posing…
I think this guy is legit … look closely in the closet. I see only tactical hangers. This is clearly a black ops tactical motel room (hourly rates available) or HQ element studio apartment.
Someone still uses MySpace? Seriously?
And I saw the other pics. Someone needs to tell that douchetool to get his booger hooks OFF the bang switch.
@2–you’re just jealous cause he’s been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that he’s training to be a cage fighter.
Oh, crap, what a way to end July!
If this one shoots himself in the foot with that thing, he’ll probably claim PTSD and VADC.
It is amazing that a grown assed man poses in fake military gear in the bedroom that he grew up in (still lives at home) and probably has a high expectation that people will believe his bullshit and think he is a hero.
And Captain America will kick the living shit out of him once he finds out this poser is wearing his gear!!!
I think the eyepro is my favorite part. I know a few MMA guys that would love to step in a ring with this guy. I’m going to withhold judgement until we find out if he’s actually Captain America…
He’s not Captain America. He’s Major Fuckup.
His name is Eagle Tail? Isn’t that a dressed-up way of saying Bird Ass?
Are you all certain that “A” on the headgear stands for America? I have a different notion.
Anyone call “Snake Eyes” Jordan about this guy…?
Green…no, please don’t. Jordan makes Paul Wickre look smrat.
MCPO NYC USN (Ret.) (@3)
Tactical Hangers.
LOL
@12. Excellent idea! It would be the battle royale! H.R Pufnstuf vs. Spongebob Squarepants for the title!
So many posers, so little time….
Geez, every time I follow one of these links to a facebook page I am ever more convinced that we are a nation of f#cking idiots who like to share every idiotic thought, emotion and idea we’ve ever had with every one we’ve ever known….
What ever happened to good old, keep your mouth shut personal privacy?
This dude should forget the fake soldier shit and stick to his origami….
The Airsoft is strong in this one….
@4 First thing I noticed in the photos. He has his dumbass finger covering the trigger. What a numbnuts and I will bet money it’s loaded but hopefully not one in the chamber. Ass hat!
See?
This is what happens when people give up looking for jobs.
They resort to ass-hattery and start pretending to be something/some one they aren’t in order to feel better about themselves.
@5 – You win the internet today for the “Napoleon Dynamite” reference.
#4, apparently, 2 people use myspace. This asshat and the guy/gal that found this pic! I didn’t know that site was still active.
@20:
–When you lose your job, you get frustrated.
–When you get frustrated, you wish you were something you were not.
–When you wish you were something you were not, you try to become that.
–When you become that, people who really were point out what a douchebag you are.
Don’t be a douchebag.
@22 – Now THAT’S some funny stuff!!!!
I can’t take it anymore, I do not care if I have to just be a dam ammo bearer I am getting on the Shuttle with Old Trooper. That loving feeling is gone gone gone, I am here to kill phonies and chew bubble gum. Guess what?
If he wants to be a cage fighter why don’t we arrange a match with Brian Stan?
@22
Absolutely love it.
@24
I see you’re not the only one who’s out of gum and patience.
Wonder how many disorders he has been diagnosed with. Think a lot of these are nucking futs to some degree.
@25 I thnink Stan retired, but Tim Kennedy is still fighting. Heard they need someone to fight him as his upcoming fight fell through.
Maybe he can go on tactical bedroom combat training maneuvers with Romeo Martinez…and when they’ve mastered the bedroom together, they can graduate to shirtless backyard ops with William Burley.
CB: You might have missed the memo – all flights have been cancelled due to sequestration. However, we may have a couple of openings on a super secret mission in support of the Gitmo escape.
You’d be OK with being a door gunner on a drone, right? It’s almost exactly like the shuttle.
You can tell he’s legit by the black t-shirt he’s wearing with his ACUs. Black t-shirt = Black Ops.
@22. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…Well played INDEED!
If he can’t hit a bulls-eye with a shovel…I’m calling BS
Secret Squirrel Tee Shirts
Damn, apparently my image placement skills in html are a little sketchy….was trying to source to a tee-shirt that says black ops…for LebbenB
@35. No worries, bro. I have a collection of black t-shirts in various shades of black to match to the blackness of my current op. I have them hanging on black tactical hangers in my black tactical closet that can only be accessed by pulling the head of the bust of Ballduster McSoulpatch that’s in my mom’s basement.
@24 I agree. Can I get on the Shuttle with you Old Trooper? I’ll use the wooden shovel to clean up brass. I remember before it was called PTSD and called shell shock.
It would seem his FB page has been scrubbed?
Maybe this kid took one hit too many to the head….successive concussion injuries leading to severe brain dysfunction is definitely a hot topic for any seminar I’ve been to lately, we require our administrators and youth coaches to attend a class and pass an exam on the CDC concussion recognition program.
Of course it would be nice if after taking too many head injuries these 4ssclowns were pretending to be Jedi Knights or Batman instead of soldiers…
@30 OWB, I am ready to do a GD Slim Pickens on a Nuke if I have to. I am losing my mind over the amount of boot licking, camo sniffing, chablis sipping, nose picking, four flushing, poser punk pieces of shiiiite.
Sorry for any of you paying at home “Hey Bob”
@38. Nope, his FB page is still up. And, he has to be the real deal. He plays Call of Duty Black Ops, Halo 3 and Gears of war. That settles it.
And, he “studied” at Central HS in Rapid City, S.D. It doesn’t say he graduated, so…..
Holy Horse Shit, where do I start.
First off, I own a similar “tac vest” as him. It’s from Super Trooper, back before the Army went to the MOLLE system. I use mine for paint ball. It is the Rifleman version. As for that thing on his hip, I have never seen a military tactical holster that looked that flimsy. Not to mention, as tight as it is on his thigh, he may be looking at some tourniquet damage to his leg. Also, if I had even thought about wearing fingerless gloves for training, my 1SG would have smacked me upside the back of the head. The only thing that encourages is torn off fingernails.
Secondly, I really believe that is an Army ACU. I have one just like it. It was the one that I only wore in Garrison. There are no stains, there are no fades, there are no little balls of fluff on the velcro pads, nothing. And since when does a Joe wear their collar down in a vest and up without a vest? Not to mention, Rank insignia, name tape, unit patch, deployment patch, skills badges… this guy looks like a Recruit the day after getting his crap from CIIP (Clothing Initial Issue Point, for all you non-Army/Supply).
Finally, what in the name of Patton’s Ghost is up with that 1990’s era chin strap on the ACH? That should be an Oregon Aero style chin strap or something with a Nape Pad attachment in the rear. I used those same piece of crap suspension systems on the old Helmet in Basic.
This guy, looking at his facebook pictures, has the build of a crack addict, not someone who has spent years in the Corps or Rangers. The least he can do is put on some muscles before he tries to pretend to be something he’s not.
@24&37: You both are welcome. The Master Chief and I would welcome Assistant Space Shuttle Door Gunners. That way, our trigger fingers could take a break as the barrels get switched out. Of course, the Drone Door Gunner is an excellent MOS, too.
@44. So you’re accepting applications for Loader and Ammo Bearer? I’m in. As long as I don’t have to hump the spare barrel and tripod/T&E.
@44 OT, can I get the warfare pin before I actually do anything. I heard the look real purdy on Whites. Right above my Couch Potato Hell Fire Pin (AKA Drone Warrior).
You’ll need a guy to hook up the sooper-secret sound system to blast “I’m a Barbie Girl” directly into his brain a-la the Sound Cone Trap in the “Cube Zero” movie. When do we ship out?
Gentlemen be kind, its the only way he can get play.
What continues to fluster me is that there are people on the other end of these cameras taking pictures of their buddy looking like a total jackass.
Most of these posers know in their head they are batshit retards, but how do they keep on convincing accomplices to take these ridiculous photos of them? At what point does a person say “gee, you know eagle tail …I don’t remember you ever being in the Army” and refuse to take such embarrassing moronic pictures.
We might need to tread lightly, he could have been shovel-trained by John Giduck himself!!