Weekend Open Thread
Cole Tomas Allen thought that he would do the United States a favor. Allen fell hook, line, and sinker for the indoctrination and propaganda provided to him by leftists abusing their professions. Neither the first shooter video games that he played, nor his college degrees prepared him for what the actual outcome would be. As for being seen as someone who did the country a favor, he received the opposite. Allen quickly turned into a Soyjack meme. Enjoy your weekend.
Category: Open thread
First
Number 1
I am
A legend in my own mind
Missed by 60 seconds or so. Congrats skippy.
It’s been a longgggg time since I scored
a 1st place
You’re correct. You came close to getting a “First” on 26 July 2024, but other than that your most recent clean “First” occurred back on 10 June 2016.
Congrats!!!
As I have said before, the Coveted Book of Open Thread “Firsts” goes all the way back (to 01 Jan 2015, 30 pages long now) to when we kick-started this competition.
Almost 10 years.. Holy Crap
CONG-RATS skippy
Congrats! Enjoy the throne!
Chippy gives a hearty CONG GRATS to Skippy of a drought breaking first!!!
Everybody have a glorious weekend.
Present and accounted for and back on the clinical VA bandwagon but nothing that can’t be, apparently addressed. ☺️
For that, I’m immensely thankful. Now I just have to hurdle the bureaucracy.
Smooches to all you butt holes and by the way, it’s my anniversary for my first day of basic training 42 years ago Jesus fucking Christ what happened and where did time go? 😭🧐🤨🤬🫣
I also got notified late yesterday afternoon and I am now part of the club 💯….thank you VA for letting me walk around with a broken back (OK it was a compression fracture, but still ) for the last two years ….apparently. 😬
2nd
Crud! Rats of the Cong to you, Skippy, for your first. It shoulda been me … but I was slow. To make up for it, I’ll leave some trivia for you all to read (or ignore, as you prefer).
DID YOU KNOW…?
Was the execution of a British villain botched, but gone through with anyway?
By Commissioner Wretched
didyouknowcolumn@gmail.com
Copyright © 2026
May day! May day!
No, I’m not signaling distress. I’m simply noting that this week we move on to the fifth month of the year, and the first day is – you guessed it – May day.
Later in the month we get Cinco de Mayo (5th), Mother’s Day (10th), and Memorial Day (25th). Busy month, eh?
Of course, every week there’s this silly trivia column thing that you find in the newspaper, so if the upcoming holiday events aren’t exactly causing you to have tingles of excitement, perhaps the trivia will. I kind of hope so, anyway.
Enjoy!
Did you know …
… the star of a classic monster movie had to be lied to in order for her to accept the role? While pre-production of 1933’s iconic King Kong was underway, director Merian Cooper (1893-1973) convinced actress Fay Wray (1907-2004) to star in the film by promising her “the tallest, darkest leading man in Hollywood.” Wray was convinced she’d be paired with someone like Cary Grant (1904-1986) but when she arrived on the set, Cooper pointed to the giant ape and said it was the “tallest, darkest leading man in Hollywood.” (Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong, you know.)
… a popular children’s literature character debuted under a different name in the United Kingdom? When the first book in the Curious George series by H.A. Rey (1898-1977) came out in the U.K. in 1941, the mischievous monkey was renamed Zozo. Why? Because it was felt there was a level of disrespect with the monkey sharing the name of the country’s King, George VI (1895-1952). (I doubt His Majesty really would have minded.)
… the Viking Age lasted a bit over 275 years? Historians say the Viking Age – the period of time during which Scandinavian seafarers roamed the coastlines of Europe, plundering and conquering – began about 790 AD. It came to an end in 1066, when William I (1028-1087), Duke of Normandy, was crowned King of England. (I’m not sure why a French nobleman taking over England ended the Viking age, but there you are.)
… a liquid exists which can be breathed? Called perflourohexane, animals submerged in the liquid are able to survive without drowning. The liquid has sufficient oxygen in it for respiration to continue, but research is still going on concerning its use with humans beyond temporary “partial liquid ventilation.” The liquid is used to treat burn victims, whose lungs can be filled with perflourohexane while burned lung tissue heals. Pulmonary edema has been shown to be suppressed by the liquid, scientists say. (I think I saw that in a movie.)
… one of England’s most celebrated bad men had his execution botched – but they went ahead with it anyway? Guy Fawkes (1570-1606) was sentenced to death for his role in the Gunpowder Plot, an attempt to blow up Parliament and assassinate King James I (1566-1625). Fawkes was, in fact, sentenced to be hung, drawn, and quartered – a particularly painful and messy way to die. But Fawkes got the last word, escaping from the guards and jumping from the gallows. He managed to break his neck on landing, but the executioners decided to do their jobs anyway. They couldn’t do the hanging, of course, but they did do the drawing and quartering, cutting Fawkes’ corpse into four pieces and sending them to the four corners of the kingdom as a warning not to do stuff like he did. (I guess it worked – it hasn’t happened since.)
Wasn’t perflourohexane being experimented for deep sea divers? I think there was a deep sea movie that used that as part of its props.
The Abyss did, for one.
… alcohol was available by prescription during Prohibition? During the period from 1920-1933, the manufacture, sale or consumption of alcohol was forbidden under the terms of the Eighteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. But the U.S. Department of the Treasury authorized physicians to write prescriptions for “medicinal” alcohol. While Prohibition was the law of the land, doctors would advise their patients to take doses of booze to stave off a number of ailments, including cancer, indigestion, and depression. (Clever. Very, very clever.)
… a woman once claimed that her chicken laid eggs prophesying the end of the world? In 1806, Mary Bateman (1768-1809) of Yorkshire, England, who was a con artist of the first order, said her chicken laid eggs with words written on them telling of the coming apocalypse. She charged people a penny to see the three eggs, but when the hen was taken away, no more message-laden eggs were laid. Turns out the hen laid normal eggs, Bateman would write the messages on the shells, and then stuff them back into the bird to be laid once again. Bateman would meet her end after being convicted of poisoning several people and being hanged. (Ugh.)
It’s been said that Sir Winston Churchill was given an alcohol prescription when he visited the USA during Prohibition.
… a Major League Baseball pitcher has a record that may never be broken? Jon Garland (born 1979) was pitching for the Arizona Diamondbacks in 2009 when, on August 29, he defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers in L.A. During that series, the Diamondbacks traded Garland to the Dodgers, and he was notified of the trade during a game. On September 3, the Dodgers started Garland against the Diamondbacks, and he pitched a win against his old teammates. Garland is thus the only pitcher in MLB history to win a game for one team and then win one for the team he defeated in the same week. (Sandy Koufax, eat your heart out.)
… poison oak is not oak? Nor is poison ivy a form of ivy. Both are members of the cashew family. (I’ll stick to just plain cashews, if you don’t mind.)
Now … you know!
Hack saw a similar once in a baseball history, it may have been here, possibly some other place on Al Gore’s Amazing Internet. Did Commissioner Wretched share this one before?
Danny Jansen Makes MLB History Playing for Both Teams in the Same Game
Boston Red Sox catcher Danny Jansen became the first player in Major League Baseball history to appear for both teams in the same game — and even in the same inning — when the Red Sox resumed a rain‑delayed matchup against the Toronto Blue Jays on August 26, 2024 MLB+1.
How It Happened
The Significance
I did have that in a previous column, Hack. Thanks for remembering!
gee, I was eligible I’d be third – some folks asleep at the switch!
Top 11 !!!!!
Just like that world war!
First to say “Yay Skippy!!!!”
Here is something I thought was crazy
Had no idea they did this on Fort lost on the Border.
Found it on US Army WTF
Its always a high point in my day when the Justice Report comes out. Huachuca will convict you and tell the world.
There appears to be no shortage of alcohol related offenses in that report. Also, people screwing someone they shouldn’t be doing.
I once ducked an Article 15 as a 1LT because I took out a jeep to the ranges in Grafenwoehr without a proper dispatch. The motor pool officer was MIA that morning. Our crazy brigade commander said anyone caught with a vehicle without a proper dispatch would get an Art.15. I rushed back to the motor pool and obtained the dispatch for the jeep; and raced back to where my driver rolled it on a rutted, snow-packed road. While the MPs were distracted interviewing my driver, I slipped the dispatch into the vehicle’s logbook. I wish you could have seen the look on that MP SGT’s face when I pulled the dispatch out of the logbook on the hood that he had already examined.
Also, I was stopped by MPs with a stolen jeep on Highway 1 just outside the gate a Chu Lai, but the MP saluted and asked if I knew one of my division Combat Center vehicles had been stolen. He apparently thought I was one of its CPT’s. Ultimately, my Ranger company had five jeeps, four were stolen from other outfits. My supply SGT could have the data plate and the bumper numbers changed in about two hours. Our favorite hunting ground for them was the MACV officers’ club in Da Nang.
I occasionally get involved in the investigation of some of the trainee dumbassery. When dumb stuff happens in the trainee barracks, I get to pull the video. Just one of many services we offer!
Reminds me of the MASH episode where kitchen trays and utensils were short on the count, and while hot lips was counting them as it was her turn for being in charge of inventory for the next period of time, the trays and silverware were being rotated through again to bring the count back to even.
Amen
Go 1st Sig.
Pretty sure these dumbasses are all Intel weenies or trainees. Signal es no mas on Huachuca.
The one that got me was. The Joe confronting the individual cheating on their spouse
Man, that 2LT who got a GOMOR for having an affair and sending pics of it to the Spouse of whoever he was romping in the sack with is DEAD MEAT, his future job prospects are along the lines of Starbucks Barista and Wal Mart Security Guard!
Either of those, or one where he asks, “would you like to supersize those fries?”
‘
Exactly
I thought as long as you were in the military, you could drink on post regardless of the state law …. ???
I’m guessing he was IET and under some restrictions.
IET cannot drink. Period.
🙁
Huachuca drinking age was 18 for active duty for decades. Stopped the troopies from drinking in Mexico and driving home drunk. Sometime around 2004, the Marine detachment made it 21 for Marines, USAF and Navy detachments quickly followed suit. Garrison made it 21 shortly thereafter. No more enlisted, NCO or officers clubs. You can still drink at the bowling alley.
SGT: Private, double time it to the latrine!
PFC: *only single times it*
SGT: Oh, your ass is mine, son.
Oh happy day! I had to call DFAS today. Happy day? Yup, I got through on the first call and I spent no time on hold.
Get down to the Kwik-E Mart and buy a lottery ticket!
Still on the right side of the grass.
Y’all have a blessed week!
Tis better to smell the flowers than smell the dirt.
Congrats to Skippy. I’ve popped in and out over the past few weeks but wanted to share that I’m a 2nd time grandfather as of April 13th.
Congratulations 🎊🎉
Congratulations Grandpa MustangCPT!
May your grandchildren all be joys and comforts in your old age – whenever that happens!
It’s May 1st, ol’ Crash n Burnath’s favorite day. He was shouting MAY DAY! right before he set the low altitude record. (Sorry, 8 years on and that joke hasn’t got old for me yet.)
One can only tie the low altitude flight record… and yeah, it’s still funny as hell!
It’ll never get old for those of us who had to deal with that fucker. Rest in pieces, Dan Dan the Plane Crashing Man!
*SPITS*
If Sisters Eagle Airport laid that runway 200 yards to the East he never would have crashed that first time.
Burnasty was his own worst enemy. In how many places was he disbarred? Multiple, IIRC.
He is still maintaining -6AGLs today.
Still can’t believe his poor family fell for his lies.
Maintaining constant airspeed, altitude, and temperature.
Steady as she goes, Dan. Steady as she goes.
The stupid must be strong in that family. Maybe his family tree doesn’t have any branches.
P.S. He was only disbarred in Commiefornia, the only state where he was admitted to practice law.
His tombstone reads “He Never Met A Man he Didn’t Sue”.
What’s the difference between Daniel Bernath and Adolf Hitler?
Some people actually mourned the death of Adolf Hitler.
He was obnoxious to practically everyone who crossed his path. Those Portland admin judges really disliked him. He did a great job of incurring the wrath of the state bar judge hearing his disbarment proceedings. Social Security hearings was the only place he could practice. Oregon’s State Bar refused to admit him, it ruled he was not of “good moral character.”
The Oregon State Bar had a lengthy list of reasons to not admit him, all of which were his own misdeeds and malfeasance, everywhere he went he was as well-liked as warm beer and rotten pussy.
I think that there were subsections A through T spelling out his various and sundry misdeeds and examples of moral turpitude. I seem to remember that some helpful soul published the entire document back in early 2015….
Including Éamon de Valera, Prime Minister of Ireland, who called on the German Embassy in Dublin to express his condolences on the death of Adolf Hitler.
FIRST TWENTYTH
Top Thirty , present and unaccountable as I award myself yet another Honorary First.
((((OVER))))
Happy Friday, you Gents! Hope you had a Great Week! Been awhile since I done one of these where I updated my status. I’ve been around on WOT and other posts, but I’ve been too busy or lacked any new details to use this old format to tell you guys how I’m doing. And how I’m doing right now is, well, it’s been interesting. I’m almost done getting my Associate’s Degree and, due to that, I’m left wondering what to do with the remaining half of my GI Bill. Naturally, my inclination is to not leave money on the table and use the rest of it. The problem is my college only goes as high as the Associate’s and the rub is many other colleges do not accept a majority of my college credits. Summa Cum Laude or no. So, it means I have to try and CLEP out with exams for my chosen institution. But one other thing: I’m moving to Indiana for school. Cost of living is too much of a barrier in Colorado that I fear I’d drop out anyway due to money issues. Indiana is cheaper and I got some family out that way, so it won’t be like I’m by myself. So, yeah, I’m saying goodbye to the state I grew up in and hoped to live in for the rest of my life had it not been for the stupid Californian moving here. But, until the 31st, I’ll be hanging out with friends and prepping for the move. Until further information, this is Amateur Historian. Out.
P.S. Fun fact! Everyone has microscopic arachnids in their eyebrows!
Also, really cool video and music for a hobby I want to get into: Warhammer 40K:
Just hit the asshole with a beanbag launched by a shotgun, and he either falls into The Anacostia River or hits portions of the bridge. The guy wants to fuck up everyone’s weekend.
https://wtop.com/dc-transit/2026/05/barricade-situation-on-frederick-douglass-bridge-dc-police-ask-drivers-to-avoid-area/
He did it 4 years ago, too?
Instead of a beanbag, why not slugs?
These loons never seem to get over or cured from their TDS. One has to wonder if he really believes his stunt would result in Trump and his entire administration being removed from power.
He’s still up there. Word is he won’t come down until Elaine Ricci is returned to us.
https://wtop.com/dc-transit/2026/05/barricade-situation-on-frederick-douglass-bridge-dc-police-ask-drivers-to-avoid-area/
“May Day”, the universal distress call as well as a popular holiday among commie ne’er-do-wells. I was listening to the radio as i was returning home from work, and the leftie media pukes were making it sound like EVERY town had a May Day rally wanting to turn all of the USA as commie as a college campus, the pus-nuts lying candyasses!
Fuck Cole Allen in is his stoop-id face. You think some Democrat Senator is going visit you in prison? Who do you think you are? A MS13 gang-banger? Enjoy your time Mr. Tiny & Thor.
I loathed the Diaper-wearer-in-Chief Joe Biden, and me and Saint Barry of Kenya will NOT be ever exchanging Christmas cards, but I never wanted either of them dead. Both guys had an insurance policy against assassination: complete idiots as VP’s
They were two very strong inadvertent insurance policies.
Inadvertent.. sure, let’s go with that..
Haven’t hatched a more suitable Cole Allen meme yet.
If it weren’t for NO STANDARDS, the Dems wouldn’t have any standards at all…
He’s a piece of work
https://hotair.com/tree-hugging-sister/2026/05/01/the-case-of-herr-platner-gets-curiourser-and-curioser-n3814519
I was hoping someone would FOIA this guy’s service records. He is the first vet I’ve seen sporting a Totenkoph tattoo. Even the tier one guys don’t go there. Plenty of Punisher skulls though.
You know how they are…
This is THE BEST…they are what they supposedly hate.
Thanks for that clip. So funny and so true.
Agreed.
As Director of Media Relations for a proud but humble woman owned business that sells overpriced and outdated software, Hack Stone is proud to announce that after months of extended negotiations, Psul of Tge Ballsack, Vice President of said proud but humble woman owned business, last evening he was able to sign a contract worth over $10,000,000 in Red Hat Software to Spirit Airlines. This will be the first of many sales that he anticipates to win within the next year. Other sales close to finalization include The Quality Learing Center in Minnesota and the Eric Swalwell Campaign for Governor. Nothing but sunshine and rainbows over the River Road exit of I-495.
Also, Trump looking at Melania: First time?