Marty Saffel – POW-MIA Vietnam Veteran… Not So Fast
CBS14 / FOX44 Siouxland News published a video and story about a Vietnam Veteran who says he was a POW-MIA.
Someone who is an esteemed member of the VG/TAH community sensed that something was amiss. They wrote to the news station and the media outlet published an “update.”
Veteran shares story of survival in Vietnam
by Taylor Deckert | Sunday June 5th, 2022
Siouxland News reached out to The Midwest Honor Flight for a statement, “Out of the 84 Veterans on flight, one Veteran had shared a story of being captured and kept in a POW camp during Vietnam. According to sources, he did serve during Vietnam but was not recorded as a POW surviving Veteran. Before Veterans are given the chance to fly with us, they are required to submit an application with a copy of their DD-214,” said Aaron Van Beek, Midwest Honor Flight President. “From this document, we verify the Veteran’s name, DOB, branch of service, and the dates of service to ensure that they were honorably discharged and that they qualify for an Honor Flight. We do not look at ranks, time spent in country, or what campaign ribbons they received. We believe that all Veterans, whether they served in country or were stationed somewhere else, deserve the chance to visit their memorials. Once their information is verified, they are added to our waitlist for a future flight – some have been on there for 3 years or more. We apologize as an organization to all those who are verified POWs and have steps in place to ensure that this does not happen again.”
Previous Story:
Siouxland News is honored to share the story and experience of a Vietnam veteran from Sioux Falls who says he is a Prisoner of War, and who went on Mission 10 to Washington D.C. with Midwest Honor Flight.
US Navy Veteran Marty Saffel says he was in a Fleet Air Reconnaissance Squadron flying all over southeast Asia, from 1971 to 1974.
Until one day when his helicopter and team were shot down, he was captured by the enemy.
In the video, Staffel stated…
“I got away, but not after six weeks, but I’m here. I’m alive.
I’m just happy I’m here.”
Then, he stated later in the video…
“I was in a cage, in a hole, at night. They threw rocks on plywood or stuff to hold us down. Keep us awake all night.
They would beat us. I lost my toenails. When they questioned us, they used bamboo slivers underneath the toenails and stuff like that to get our answers. fingernails.”
He was not on the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency (DPAA) list of POWs that escaped, nor was he on the list of POWs that were eventually released.
The problem is that Midwest Honor Flights gave him a free ride to Washington DC, which is something of value. So if his claims prove to be false, he had received something of value, not to mention all the attention and accolades bestowed upon him.
Many thanks to our very own ninja for staying on top of this and helping to set the record straight. Hopefully the news organization will do a bit more to highlight the problem of stolen valor, if it turns out to be the case here. We will file a FOIA for Saffel’s military records, but in the meantime this seems newsworthy to put out.
Category: POW, Stolen Valor, Stolen Valor Act, Vietnam
Just hearing him talk about what he endured as a POW-MIA made me feel like bamboo shoots were being put under my fingernails. What disrespect to those who really were POWs.
He sounded like he was reciting everything he saw in the movies. Funny how he didn’t mention how he actually escaped or describe any of the guards, or fellow prisoners
Well, when Rambo busted out in ’71, he just snuck out in the confusion and didn’t want to admit he did diddley to make it happen, you see.
It appears as though he would have gotten the flight with or without his deranged story of being a POW therefore making it not a crime.
But he is still an asshole.
You are correct. In fact, he didn’t even need to be a Vietnam veteran. Honor Flights are open to all veterans from WWII, Korea and Vietnam, including service during the periods between those wars.
So, if he served in any military capacity during that roughly thirty-year period, he was entitled to the trip. He may be a bullshit artist, but he did nothing criminal in going on the Honor Flight.
I saw an old, fat f**k, in a wheel chair at Home Depot (Colorado Springs) on Memorial Day weekend with jacket/hat containing various Viet of the Nam and sniper patches, including one that indicated Sniper – 134 confirmed kills. I just kept my mouth shut, wasn’t worth the effort.
“134 confirmed kills”
Thats seems a bit high even by TAH standards.
Can the TAH history be scanned for other “confirmed kills” and
list the top ten? I’ll bet he is way over the average number.
I have 136. It was the mosquito apocalypse out there last night.
The bug repellant in Viet of the Nam would make the
M-16 handguard all sticky.
6840-082-2541 Insect Repellent Spray, 6 oz Aerosol Can.
Tnx Claw. It’s bug season in Maine and the stuff available is only 40% DEET.
Wish I had some of the old stuff from
days gone by.
Got a couple OD colored tubes of the good stuff that I could give you. It makes my lips and tongue numb when I rub it into my face but I can’t remember where it is.
Silly. You were supposed to comb it into your hair or brush your teeth with it-not get it all over your hands.
Here is a list pulled from the inter webs. Not sure where they got their numbers, but all fall short of the typical TAH sniper.
I’m a bit skeptical of all sniper claims, particularly Chris Kyle’s (If he’d lie about sucker punching Jesse Ventura, why would I believe any of his other claims?)
1. Adelbert Waldron III – 109 Confirmed Kills
2. Charles ‘Chuck’ Mawhinney – 101 Confirmed Kills3. Eric R. England – 98 Confirmed Kills4. Carlos Hathcock – 93 Confirmed Kills5. Ronnie Shinya Marshall – 77 Confirmed Kills
https://www.argunners.com/deadliest-snipers-of-the-vietnam-war/
What makes you think he lied about punching proven POSer Ventura? There were several witnesses who said it happened. IIRC the only person who swore under oath it didn’t happen was the fake Vietnam vet himself.
I couldn’t find any witness statements stating they saw Kyle punch out Ventura. Other than a female claiming that Kyle told her about the incident the following day, the only other witness statement I could locate claimed they saw Ventura laid out on the sidewalk outside the bar. Kyle’s version was that the incident occurred inside the bar with tables being strewn. And what has Ventura posed as? SEAL? Governor? Conspiracy theorist? Asshole?
He used to claim he served as a SEAL in Vietnam. He never set foot there and was never on a SEAL team.
Unfortunately there are tons of people who still back his claim of being able to Claim SEAL Status, simply because he Graduated BUDS. What people fail to realize, and what Actual Vietnam Vet SEALS Point out was at the time both Candidates For SEALS and UDT attended BUDS. However Completion of BUDS did not Qualify a graduate for either MOS. It took a few more Months of training to earn the NEC of either SEAL or UDT. Ventura went the UDT Route. SEALs that Served during the time said that UDT guys could have asked for, and been transferred over to be trained up and deployed as a SEAL anytime the wanted to. Ventura didn’t. He was a pipe swinging Bad ass as a UDT guy and served where he was sent and did a Deployment off the Coast with an ARG and Earned the VCM. Not a SEAL. Unfortunately the Hair publicly gave Ventura a Pass. He Said that After BUDS some guys went UDT, Some Went SEAL and that Ventura Could Cal Himself a SEAL if he wanted to. Methinks Don didnt want to face a lawsuit.
But, it isn’t too high if he’s a “certified” butt sniper at Brucie’s Bath House (entrance in the rear)
Why are you assuming that his claim of 134 confirmed kills is related to his claim of being a sniper. You have obviously missed the comma. Those 134 confirmed kills are from his transmission of syphilis.
In training, some of my classmates notched their helmet band for each “confirmed kill” (jerking off) they managed to get in– he must’ve meant something like that.
Same type of situation in Lowes last year for me Closer..saw this cat looked a little to young for Vietnam, but decked out in leather vest, ball cap with bling and kinda dirty lookin , what got me started was his SFC gold rank pin on his hat , told him I was a retired SFC served in Somalia, Bosnia, Iraq,Afghanistan, figured he was a retiree too, but then he said he was in”Nam” and served almost 3 yrs and got out as a SFC….told me our wars were totally different and I wouldn’t understand….at that point I really could smell the shit…and reply really muther fucker, how “different” were our wars tell me about it please I’m all fuckin ears buddy….he then thought better and slithered off
From the article that Steve Balm posted:
“Staffel now enjoys life in Sioux Falls riding
motorcycles during his free time.”
😆😂😅🤣
We checked his Fakebook page…Could not find a picture of him wearing a Vest or a Bandana or having a Service Dog…
Slacker…it’s like they’re not even trying!
Steve Balm wrote:
“The problem is that Midwest Honor Flights gave him a free ride to Washington DC, which is something of value…”
Shades Of Maggie DeSanti.
Not only did Ole Marty receive a free flight to Washington DC, but most likely received free hotel accomodations, free meals and free bus rides.
ninja,
Bingo.
That old hag Maggie never served, not 1 day,
yet totally FOOLED Honor Flights Arizona
into a freebie trip to DC.
With a dress uniform, LTC rank,
and a ribbon rack stretching glory from WWII to War on Terror.
And NO ONE questioned Phony Maggie DeSanti ???
Worse, Maggie was already out there,
as easy as deploying the FU of Google,
to see VG/TAH calling her out 4½ years before
as a Phony Silver Star Fake Vietnam Veteran Captain Nurse.
Worser, HF Arizona admitted they don’t check anything,
admitting they take veterans “at their word”.
Worsest, HF Utah jumped into the fray,
to defend Arizona, and said the same thing.
Now we add HF MIDWEST to the list.
These idiots who run “veteran” charities
set themselves up to look like fools,
for failing to do the bare minimum.
Ugh.
They should fly his sorry ass to All-Points Logistics.
Let Phil Monkress and his new batch of Phildo Supporters roll out the red carpet.
It’s just about the anniversary of when Phildo of All Points Logistics reengaged his dormant poser thread from the previous year, unleashing Psaul of The Ballsack on us Adorable Deplorables. So, if it wasn’t for Phil Monkress with his false claims of being a US Navy SEAL, Hack Stone would have never secured that position as Director of Media Relations that Elaine Ricci gave him. Let’s go, Phildo!
Phil Monkress.
They just do not make Poser’s like that anymore.
Fake Navy SEAL Officer, fake Native American, fake Law Enforcement Officer, fake MC hardcore biker.
But on the other side of the coin, a true DUI conviction (x2), a true Divorcee (over his claims), a true Drunk, a true Cocaine Abuser and the CEO of All-Points Logistics.
Go big, stiff employees like Paul-mer (of the ballsack) and live large at the taxpayers expense or go home!
Phildostyle!
Just took a dive into Al Gore’s Amazing Internet, and it was nine years ago tomorrow that Phil Monkress’ chump from Bethesda got is first, but certainly not his last, thread on This Ain’t Hell. Yeah, those were the golden years.
https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=30777
Had to scroll through 22 pages of comments on the above to find the very first comment (comment 1065) that Hack Stone made about Phil’s faithful employee/patsy. Who knew that was the beginning of a nine year relationship? Hack would send him a card and some roses, but Psaul seems to have relocate his domicile quite frequently, so Hack told the FTD delivery guy to keep driving until he finds a house with no door on the mailbox.
Psul ( of the ballsack) filed for Bankruptcy yet again in Feb 2022.
Phildo stiffed him for 20k back in the day to clear his (Phil Monkress) good name.
Wickre probably never recovered.
Ole Marty said he was taken “prisoner” for Six (6) weeks…
6 weeks. Wonder if Marty was a “Prisoner” courtesy of the US Navy instead of Vietnam, i.e. spent time in a Brig…along with 6 other Sailors…😉😎
I was taken prisoner at Ft. Dix for Eight (8) weeks.
Basic training doesn’t count, Beans.
NO SHIT, THERE I WAS, taken prisoner for TWELVE WEEKS in “Fort Lost-in-the-woods” by a group of dudes in BDU’s wearing these big round hats always screaming at us, making us run, push and hump until we felt dead,..
Note that Ole Marty never mentioned WHEN he was taken “Prisoner” or WHERE he was taken “Prisoner..”
He does not mention the name of his unit as well…
Ole Marty was born in 1952 and graduated from High School in 1971. He stated he flew “all over Southeast Asia from 1971-1974.”
Guess he is ignorant about what took place in 1973 with the Vietnam POWs…
Next thing you know, Ole Marty will start telling folks that he went to TOP GUN School and that Maverick was based on his experiences with the “Fleet Air Reconnaisance Squadron..”😉😎
His story smells more like he was part of the Fleet Air Reconnaissance Training Squadron.
It smells fishy to me too. I’m no airdale, but Fleet Air Reconnaissance Squadrons in the Navy are all VQ1, 2, and so on. The “V” was for fixed wing sqaudrons, and he said he was on a helo, so…bullshit?
There are/were no Fleet Air Recon helo squadrons that I could find on the information superhighway. I’m guessing he’s not telling the truth.
Ya think? In view of the fact he has claimed to be a POW of the NVA or the VC in the Viet of the Nam, it is safe to say you can’t believe anything he says about his military service. Also, look at Claw’s research below showing there was only one Navy helo that went down in RVN during this time period and the entire crew perished.
He might not have gone to TOP GUN School but I am pretty sure he attended the All-Points Logistics School of Executive Management.
Someone should check his pension check. I imagine The False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress has his signature and name on it.
This fails the smell test, doesn’t it? That ain’t roses on his breath.
Both Ole Marty and the Reporter failed to do their homework, because the SAME week that Marty was on Mission 10 of the Midwest Honor Flight was the SAME week that the REAL Vietnam POWs had their 49th Reunion in Greenville, South Carolina:
https://www.wyff4.com/article/vietnam-pow-49th-freedom-reunion-south-carolina/40179584
“I was in a cage in a hole,” Saffel said. He continued, “They threw rocks on plywood, or stuff to hold us down. Keep us awake all night. They beat us. I lost my toenails when would questioned us. They used bamboo slivers underneath the toenails and stuff like that. To get our answers. They would go by the villagers on the DMZ and say ‘
this is your protectors. See, they can’t protect you. We’ve got them. We caught them. They can’t protect you anymore.”
Gee Whiz. Where have we heard this story?
Why are Phonies fascinated by their toenails?
Remember this Phony Vietnam POW, Steve Valcke from Georgia? He claimed HIS toenails were pulled out:
https://www.macon.com/news/local/military/article56702718.html
Just but a year ago, Hack Stone was carrying a Costco Chest Freezer from his company issued 1980’s vintage Jaguar to the basement of Stately Stone Manor when he inadvertently dropped it, smashing the hell out of his big toe on his left foot. Turned all black and nasty. Then late July he was down at the water park of Busch Gardens when it was ripped off going down one of the slides. So, if you found the remains of a left big toe toenail, please remit to corporate headquarters of the proud but humble woman owned business that sells software to the federal government.
Guess what? In my many missions into the jungle covered mountains of the Viet of the Nam, on a few occasions we encountered vacant enemy camps/bunkers. I never saw a piece of plywood. Their camps were constructed out of what was at hand in the jungle, not plywood. Somehow, I doubt the NVA were transporting plywood down the Trail. But I could be wrong. Maybe the Commies shipped a piece down the Trail just to keep Marty in his hole.
Home Depot was expanding locations all along the Ho Chi Minh Trail in the early 1970’s. The Viet Cong/NVA had no problem locating day laborers willing to work on Honey-Do Projects in order not to be shot in the back of the head.
Welp, then I guess the only real question is whether we are talking marine grade plywood or just the standard stuff. Cuz it certainly rained quite a bit in the jungle, especially during the Monsoon. I hope Marty had the benefit of marine grade, so he wouldn’t experience delamination.
I love the smell of pinewood in the morning. It smells like home renovation.
He’s like the POSer that claimed he ate monkey meat and rattlesnakes in Vietnam. https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=87255
I had forgotten about this douche canoe. He also claimed he spent weeks on end in the jungle “alone” with his “scout dog.” As I explained back then, scout dog handlers were never alone in the field. They were inserted with rifle companies or platoons for several days at a time. I never had one with my company for more than three days at a time. I should also add that there were no rattlesnakes in the Viet of the Nam. The only poisonous snake we ever encountered was the bamboo viper. As for monkeys, we occasionally encountered one but I can’t imagine someone by himself shooting one in bad guy country while trying to avoid the enemy. Never underestimate the propensity of POSers to conjure fabulous fiction.
I’m surprised he didn’t try to tell everyone about how he survived being bitten by a 98-pound Rattle-Headed Copper Moccasin while in the jungles of “The ‘Nam”.
And of course, for some strange reason. those Phonies always seem to mention a Higher Being:
From the article:
“There was only one person that he relied
on during those 6 weeks locked up, and the many years of PTSD that followed, “God, that’s all I can say,” Saffel said.”
You should read his FAKEBOOK where he mentions several times about worshipping and praising a certain Jewish carpenter…
I get the feeling that said Jewish carpenter would have no problem with cold-cocking this POS with a claw hammer.
From the article and video:
“He says a village let 6 of them go, but when their team returned to save the families in the town everyone was gone.”
“By the time we got back to the village
every one of them was killed. Mothers and babies are cut out of them. There was nothing left,” Saffel said.”
Wonder what movie THAT scenario came from?
😎😉
“Something veterans don’t speak about often is what happens when they get home from war.”
“Saffel said he doesn’t talk about his time in Vietnam due to the reoccurring mental
health issues he’s endured over the years, “I’ve had a lot of problems with PTSD. I’ve been through a lot of counseling…”
Oh, the irony of that statement.
Most likely, the REAL TRUTH as to why “he doesn’t talk about his time in Vietnam” is the possibility he never was really there…or that he may have been locked up in a Brig courtesy of the US Navy for 6 weeks…or that he may have never served in the US Navy and was locked up in a South Dakota jail for 6 weeks…
He admitted he has reoccurring mental health issues…which is another irony.
I’ll put money on the fact that ol’ Marty was never boots on the ground in the Viet of the Nam.
He’s good and full of shit for sure, what is his real Service Record?
From the article…another red flag:
“He says a village let 6 of them go, but when their team returned to save the families in the town everyone was gone.”
Yeah. Right. The village let him and his buddies go, but they returned to the same village that “captured” them.
Ole Marty has been watching TOO many fictional movies…
Stuck in a hole, sleep deprivation, bamboo shoved under toenails, yadda yadda yadda. Had the clown added Russian roulette to his list of tortures imposed by Charlie, he would have flown under the radar.
What I always found humorous about the Russian Roulette in Vietnam nonsense, is the lack of revolvers in Vietnam. The VC and the NVA invariably were armed with Russian or Chicom semi-auto pistols, primarily the Tokarev design. Only the Air Force had revolvers cuz they weren’t trusted with 1911’s–too many AD/ND’s. I was surprised the first time I flew in an OV-10 and was issued a S&W .38 revolver with my survival vest.
I see the Didi, but I don’t see the Mao!
Other than the bamboo under the fingernails, he just described Hack Stone’s tour on Recruiting Duty.
Deer Hunter… three bullets was his idea, he’d have you know.
One of the stupidest of the stoopid Vietnam War movies. What a waste of a movie ticket. I even paid to see it in a movie theatre.
Dumbass Hollyweird liberals’ idea…
From the article:
“Before Veterans are given the chance to fly with us, they are required to submit an application with a copy of their DD-214,” said Aaron Van Beek, Midwest Honor Flight President. “From this document, we verify the Veteran’s name, DOB, branch of service, and the dates of service to ensure that they were honorably discharged and that they qualify for an Honor Flight. We do not look at ranks, time spent in country, or what campaign ribbons they received. We believe that all Veterans, whether they
served in country or were stationed somewhere else, deserve the chance to visit their memorials.”
Sadly, we don’t think the Midwest Honor Flight realize that some folks can or have produce a falsified DD214.
How else did Ole Maggie DeSanti get on the Arizona Honor Flight?
IIRC, the Honor Flight org that “honored” Maggie refused to respond to queries about what they did to verify her service, which was completely non-existent.
The only Navy Helicopter that went down in RVN from 1971 – 1974 occurred on 23 Sep 1971. The UH-1B (Serial Number 62-04602) from HA(L)-3 DET 4 experienced a main rotor blade separation during a ferry flight and all four crewmembers were KIA.
Now it would seem that if “Ole Rambo Marty” graduated from high school in say, May or June 1971, there wouldn’t have been enough of a time gap to be all trained up as an Aviation Machinists Mate before going down in a helicopter mishap in September 1971.
The math has been the downfall of many a poor poser.
And, sadly, our own beloved Mason… 😜 😝 😜
Claw, you are Da Man when it comes to factoids with numbers.
Thanks. It’s easy to come up with the numbers when they’re all laid right out in front of you, especially for downed RVN helicopters on the VHPA (Vietnam Helicopter Pilots Association) website./s
Wonder if this lying POS did any push ups over Saggy Maggie? He would be the rancid cherry on top her sh^t sundae.
Look forward to the FOIA.
Somehow, I think ol’ Marty’s push-up days are over. He looks like he might need help getting out of the chair (wheelchair?) in the photo.
“…push ups over Saggy Maggie” I spit my half chewed bite of apple out on that one, KoB.
I’d like to know what aircraft ol’ Marty here thinks that he was flying in when he was in a FAIRECONRON “flying all over southeast Asia” from 1971-1974.
Also, FAIRECONRONs didn’t operate helicopters.
Turd.
(possibly a senile one, but the Crown of Feces discriminates not)
And old, pale turd at that.
They should have just left his sorry ass there and let that turd find his own way back to Sioux Falls.
Save the donors some money.
attention whore
That’s all I can say
😂😁🤪🤣😅😀🤮
I have an itchy trigger finger today…I hereby move that we drop the Hemisphere (or planetoid or wherever we’re at) on this cocksucker. For his lies about being a POW and for taking a seat that could have been given to a non-embellisher.
SECOND! Can we get an AYE?
AYE.
And in my catching up I now have a second second and the second Aye.
Boy is it gonna be a busy weekend.
Get your geiger counters ready.
OK, Mea Culpa for being tardy but this has been on the To Do list and we’re here now. I know I have another deployment further back as well so, let’s get on with it, shall we?
Could this case perhaps produce a sock puppet or two?
We can only hope. Posers these days are soft compared to the old inbreeds. Those old timers knew what it took to be a First Class Poser, writing self published autobiographies about their time in the Viet Of The Nam; setting up phones charities to line their pockets; hooking up with women with low self esteem who come on here defending their latest father figure to their bastard kids, telling us how he wakes up screaming from his memories as a POW; and purchasing military decorations that have not been issued since WWII to put on their ill fitting uniforms.
Sock puppets! I want sock puppets! Puppets, come out and playayay!!
It has been ages since we’ve had a sock puppet to play with.
The phonies these days aren’t even half trying.
Question: How many times did they pull him out of the dirt hole and shove bamboo under his finger nails? I mean, after weeks or even months the intel is stale.
Seems like they would let a man get a good night’s sleep after a while.
Marty “Rump Rider” Saffel… cocksucker!
No story about a tiger cage, electrocution and his good buddy dying in his arms? Gotta up his game to be a real deal Viet of the Nam times POW!
Glad I read this. Helped me identify some holes in the POW tale I’m going to use to impress the broads.
Memorizing his ugly mug for the next time we have to go to the SF VA.
<b> The As(s)teroid of Insults®™ </b>
(aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
THREE PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!!
DANGER CLOSE!!!!
MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
TAKE COVER!!!!!
<b> Marty (more like Sharty…if you have to ask…) Saffel (and more like offel) , NOT Ever a POW nor an Escapee, HEY DICKLESS (SUPER Dickless) WONDER, (“Yes, it’s true this man has no dick!” …**HT to Ghostbusters**) We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, </b>, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, spunkknuckle, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff,
“Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, This guy is as useful as a hockey puck dildo, His ground screw is loose, You flaccid piece of tofu, broke taint cocksucker, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, YOU’RE the reason Joe Biden tried to throw himself down the stairs of Air Force One, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Anal ring dome probably left over from bobbing for apples in the porta potty, When he wants to put on some mood music, he has Alexa play Dueling Banjos, Watching this particular dipshit fling his shit story, is almost like watching a pack of dipshits try to fuck a door knob some days, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, weiner bucket, Cambodian cunt sauce,
It takes a special talent to swallow a beach ball without popping it. he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !, Soup Sandwich, 24K shittyassed prick of a candyass primadonna atomic duodenal weasel, his actions leave us all with a sour taste in our mouths akin to sucking a rotten lemon out of a cat’s butthole. This turd has such a high option of himself that he thinks he shits ice cream, and there aren’t enough spoons to go around for all of us, if your Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you seeping, gangrenous, feces-packed, maggot-infested axe wound, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass,
Poster-child for post birth abortion, I hope he chokes to death on the first dick he gets forced to suck in prison , Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, I hope that this dood bursts into flames the next time he takes a shit, that he suffers the pain and agony consistent with practicing self-immolation and ends up completely destroyed as if he were a victim of spontaneous human combustion, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, I hope you end up in Hell with gasoline soaked boxers, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, twinkledick,
you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, What a bag of fetid skunk anuses in the July full noon sun, next to a sewerage treatment facility outside of Newark Airport, New Jersey, And that bag is smoking a cheap cigar that is 50% tire, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football
I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick, it looks like either the Clothing Sales Awards and Decorations aisle threw up on him, OR, a very localized tornado raged through the BX and he was the sole survivor, Anus tonguing shit slurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, you know what?, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, Up yours with knobs on, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes, Pudwhack, pillock, Saltimbanco, zounderkite, Minger, Felonious Ass Pirate, get bent like a fucking pretzel,
I mean, what in the roll tide, only has sex with family after Nascar, butt chugging box wine, mushy meth mouth, mountain dew snorting, corn dog anal injecting, only listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd when making cornbread, fuck, is going on, Fucking less worthwhile, hairier, dirtier and uglier than Hillary Clinton’s taint, if this guy even *had* a woman, or any balls, he’d keep them in her purse anyway, failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butter If you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge,
The only thing that he is good for is pulling targets on the Hand Grenade Range, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass, You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job,
not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup,
Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack,
You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Someone should take your fake shit and shove it so far up your ass that you’ll never be able to wear a cover correctly, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, cock-sucking piece of shit, overused prison fuckboy, Because it’s a hazard to all mankind and it’s my opinion, the sloot you wiggled out of, the gaping cloaca from which your mother excreted you, should be added to the EPA’s Superfund site, and because it’s highly unlikely it will ever be again, habitable for humanity, should probably be sealed up for all eternity, much like the Agbogbloshie Dumpsite in Accra, Ghana, with Chernobyl coming in a close second,
, Terminal Lance …https://terminallance.com/2017/02/28/terminal-lance-461-drill-instructor-academy/?fbclid=IwAR36LjF848ATFa879zl5OZ6An7xsUuRL1_-VASzLgdLTI-p5o4g14ylaXE4) and from the Book of Face comments, if I could, I’d shove you back into your mother’s pussy so the doctor can FINISH the abortion, Peter-Puffer, I bet the knobs of all the cocks you’ve ever sucked are shinier than the arse end of a bald eagle in a nose dive!, ncid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, Harebrained duckfucker, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, untreated, festering pus pocket, You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, you twink, You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel, It’s impossible to underestimate you, Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job,
oh wait, you *SHOULD* be ashamed too, because, the more the merrier, You are the human version of period cramps, If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty, You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day, you thought you’d be nice the other day and you lent a girl an umbrella, so, that makes the total of girls you’ve made wet this year -1, if you were a trophy at the end of my race, I’d walk backwards, you try to present yourself as a knight in shining armor but really, you’re a loser in tinfoil, if you were ever a teacher, your students would never wear a seatbelt while driving to school, because they’d want to die before ever having to take one of your classes, you’re what Olive Garden is to real Italians, He has the facial expression of a washed-out panhandler you see at finer Bus Stations everywhere, he looks like Hunter Biden’s stunt double. If he was on Prison Bachelor, he would offer his cellmate his brown rose,
you have a chronically, domestically abused, tiny pee pee, this valor poacher thinks he’s so hot and such an intellect, that he gets a semi chub (all that he is able) by his actions and subsequently, is in danger of raising blood blisters on his Third Thumb due to the protracted use of his Special Purpose Magnifying Glass and eyebrow tweezers, You just **HAVE** to have any attention you can get, eh you rabbit fucked, chihuahua, shit-for-brains, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!?!, the only currency he should be dealing with is cigarettes (fags for you Brits) while he’s in the pokey and he is known to be a pack a day smoker of the cock, Sphincter reaper, That ‘stash you may or may not have (if you had one) looks like Goal Post for a Dick…. Blower and boffer of balls, Devil of cock gobbling, Bacha bāzī “boy”, Dildohead, cunt giblets (Thanks ASMDSS),
), If this goose shit gobbling mongoloid were an MRE, he would be Spaghetti and Dick, is a sack sucking semen slurper, nut nibbling nincompoop, and jizz juicing jackoff. This guy, I mean, this fucking guy right here, is the poster boy for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as a fucking cross eyed, cock gobbling, 55 gallon drum of cock snot, dumpster fire, Your face makes onions cry, nsumbyeotchkizzmyazzwingwipineffoffanbeholdemyfieldofphuquesyouphuquingphuquer, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, his breath smells like he ate a dead man’s underwear, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!,
!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, You have the kind of creepy ass grin like you like slipping in the shower and falling on dicks, you look like the type of guy that trolls the harsh urban streets for rando destitute, impoverished, tainted, desperate dudes to fuck start your face for you, fuck this dude with a cactus, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, Dude looks like he smells like hot dog water, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter,
maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, This twat is gayer than Liberace skydiving ass first into a canyon of buttplugs, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting,
Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, Weeping Pustule on the Whipworm Shat by a Flea Plucked from the Hairy Anus of a Noble Bilge Rat, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan,
toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, He never joined Columbia Record Club because he could not afford a penny, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, He is so stupid, he buys matinee tickets at a drive in theater, His erectile dysfunction and impotence is so severe that his continual dick-beating of such pointlessness amazes anyone that is so unfortunate as to be acquainted with him, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits,
pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, you are such a disappointment to the human race, I think I’m gonna have to court your slovenly, unhinged, cow of a Mother, in real life, second only to the character Annie Wilkes in Misery, and then hate slam the psychosis right out of her dirt box, such that another chromosomally challenged creature like you never occurs again, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, this is the kinda guy who’s feet swing when he’s on the toilet, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine, perpetual Turd that just keeps circling the bowl and will never flush, Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt,
you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, This motherfucking guy makes my ass itch, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, spaghetti straw-sized personal organ, real boy babies have bigger nuts, putting the squeeze on this nugatory nut nibbler is not worth the juice, there are ants that are smarter than this dorkwad from the bottom of Poontang Pond, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, is a lying sack of wet doughnut batter,