Daniel Clay Cheatham; phony Ranger

| February 19, 2018

Our partners at Military Phonies send us their work on this Daniel Cheatham who claims that he was injured as an Army Ranger, and he claims that he served in combat in Afghanistan, to improve his business as a masseuse and a yoga instructor;

The Army disagrees. It looks like Cheatham was an Initial Entry failure. He never left Fort Benning and his Infantry Training Brigade in uniform. He was scheduled to go to Fort Bragg and an airborne assignment, but he never made it. In his bio above, he claims that he left the Army as a corporal (E-4), but his discharge says that he never progressed past Private (E-1).

So, if you are looking for a masseuse with Ranger training and combat experience, Dan Cheatham is not your guy.

Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures

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IDC SARC

Namaste…Cocksukker

IS2 (SW)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

mr. sharkman

LOL. I know ‘namaste’ is some yoga term.

Don’t be insulted by my asking Bro, but I’ve got no idea what it actually means. Care to enlighten me? 🙂

IDC SARC

Even if I knew the meaning(s) and origins of the word….I’d never admit it. 🙂

mr. sharkman

Heh. Enough said. 😉

SSG Kane

https://www.yogajournal.com/practice/the-meaning-of-quot-namaste-quot

I’ll proudly out myself. Yoga, and it’s mindfullness has helped me to center myself more than anything else I’ve ever tried. Hell just today, with the winds gusting like a stone cold bitch, I had to meditate while on a make or break shot at a club match.

A few ommms a few deep breaths and I was channeling Davy Crockett…

HMCS(FMF) ret

Better watch out… DANIEL CLAY CHEATHAM is probably one of those “special” massage therapists that likes working on SQUEAKHOLES.

NHSparky

Ten dollah extra you get happy ending, okay GI?

1610desig

He looks like the kind of mincing lad who prefers to love a man “long time”

RGR 4-78

A liar with love beads and funky hair that likes to rub on people.

IS2 (SW)

Looks like he and Manning love to scissor each other all day.

RGR 4-78

Bradley may be his dream date.

NHSparky

Dude, pass the brain bleach.

A Proud Infidel®™

He has a meat gazer’s grin as well.

IS2 (SW)

And a purty mouth for cocksucking.

OldManchu

Daniel Cheatham is Bradley Manning’s official cock masseuse.

Mick

Nice headband in the photo posted above.

Is that to keep his hair out of his face while he applies his makeup?

RGR 4-78

Protects his hair while he gets a facial?

Mick

I see what you did there.

Well played!

RGR 4-78

🙂

Skyjumper

Ewe,ewe,ewe,ewe…….
Spew, spew, spew, spew….
Dammit RGR 4-78, coffee thru my nose!! 😉

RGR 4-78

Black coffee nasal wash, this could be the start of some new age homeopathic healing ritual, another TAH first.

IDC SARC

real men don’t use neti pots

RGR 4-78

Snot funny, 0k, actually it is.

NHSparky

But they could use black coffee in their Navage machines.

It’d be even better if they didn’t let the coffee cool down first.

Claw

Probably pissed so hot the sample bottle ignited before you could get the cap on.

He needs to get together with Shane Kuntzman and get his Cabana Boy resume updated.

David

Masseur… a masseuse is female. Or was that intentional?

thebesig

Judging by the look in that photo, I won’t be surprised if that was intentional, and that he identifies as a female. I usually see women giving that kind of look for a photo, and I usually see women wearing the headband the way he’s wearing it, coupled with the way his hair is flowing.

I originally thought that this was a woman claiming to be an Army Ranger veteran, before I got a closer look.

So, I wouldn’t be surprised if Daniel Clay Cheatham, phony Ranger Veteran, kicked out of the Army as an E-1 Private after 6 months and 27 days in the Army, were more of a butt plowed-into ranger.

rgr769

Let’s not sell him short. He beat the Gunga Dan line, even if he did leave the Army as a leg E-1. Even now, he follows the fake Ranger creed and never leaves a buddy’s behind, and vice-a-versa.

Mason

Sure looks like a woman with stubble. I don’t want to make any assumptions though and offend the LGBTQABCDEF123 crowd.

Wilted Willy

You all had better be careful, I have it from good sources that this cocksucker is represented by that high powered legal team of Dewey Cheatum and Howe. I would not want to see any of you tied up in legal matters with this real deal cocksucker!!

RetiredDevilDoc8404

Dewey, Cheatum and Howe actually passed him off to their affiliates at the firm of Cess Poole and Drayne for proper disposal. They’ll flush out the details for him…

Wilted Willy

Then they passed him off to the Law Firm of Dewey, Dickum and Howe to try the case.

A Proud Infidel®™

Not just a BCT/AIT washout but a metrosexual spandex-prancing booger-eating bedwetter as well!
A Green Belt in Aikido? OH, and a White Belt (BEGINNER) in Shao Lin Kung Fu. WHere’d he get that, form watching “Kung Fu” reruns on DVD? Yeah, I have self-awarded Black Belts in Yakimandu, Egg Foo Yung and Chop Suey, my chopsticks are certain death to EVERY morsel of food on my plate!! THAT BOY looks like some candyass on a college campus you’d see bawling while demanding free coloring books and Play-Doh in a “Safe Space”, I bet he thought he could bawl his way through but the US Army chewed him up and spit him out!!!

NR Pax

Yeah…I practice Aikido. We don’t have colored belt systems, at least in the two different schools I’ve been a part of.

26Limabeans

I think he meant Akita.
Very aggressive dog that keeps its tail raised….

Ex-PH2

That’s his mistake, API. It’s a chartreuse belt in Hakkidu, but you can’t move to the next level (magenta) until you have completed the chartreuse level set of Hakkidu cards.

A Proud Infidel®™

MAYBE he meant to say he has a Green Belt in Pokemon?

Mason

After doing kung fu, he likes a healthy heaping of cream of sum yung guy.

NR Pax

Dammit, my beloved Corps is falling behind in posers! And we’re losing to the Army?! That is fucking UNSAT, people! I know we got all these secret squirrel types with iron-on EGAs just looking for their time in the spotlight.

Ex-PH2

Durnburnit, Pax, if I could make up a faker Jarhead just for you, I’d do it.

April Fool’s Day is coming up. Maybe I can cobble something together. 😉

A Proud Infidel®™

April Fools Day and Easter are the same day this year. Just think, lazy Parents can suddenly say “APRIL FOOLS Kids, we forgot to hide the eggs!”.

NR Pax

Awww! Thanks, PH2! You’re the best!

Combat Historian

This little fairy is the first army poser in several days; go ARMY, yay team!

Ex-PH2

What an oily little meatgazer.

Iccck! The ICCCKK factor is HUGE with this one… huge and strong.

N.B.: I’m not interested in destroying someone’s legit business. I have serious questions, however, about someone who lies about having served in order to draw it in. Advertising is one thing. Scamming people for all the wrong reasons is another.

Green Thumb

Yep.

You took the words right our of my mouth.

Usafvet509

Ok, come payday, I’ll put in the FOIA, and give Jonn a TacP phony for the board. I’ve alreadt uncovered that this particular wannabe is a child molester…

AW1Ed

Are entries to the MOI closed? I think Ex’s “…oily little meatgazer.” sings.

ChipNASA

Annnnndddddd

BOOM, right to the Mountain of Insults®™

Thanks AW1Ed & EX-PH2.
No the Mountain of Insults®™ is open 24/7/365.

Just wap me a few times with a rolled up newspaper, I occasionally miss a solid suggestion.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

Starting Monday with the first Phony Army Ranger poser. I see another Seal poser below this one, so I will make a comment below.

26Limabeans

Item 13.

NONE//NOTHING FOLLOWS

26Limabeans

Ya know, he doesn’t look all that bad with the headband. If he could clean up the facial hair a bit more then I’m sure my dog would be happy to lick his face etc.

Wilted Willy

Please, then your poor dog would have to lick his asshole for a week just to get that taste out of his mouth? Consider your poor dog 26!!

26Limabeans

I’m sorry WW. I meant to say he would lick his face AFTER licking his own balls.

Ex-PH2

Just send him a biox of those epilette pads from Sally Hansen and a pot of Nair hair removal creme. That will solve the problem and keep his chipmunk cheeks soft and pinchable.

There is something not quite right about this kid. If I’m going to a masseur, he’d better have some upper arm muscles and fists like matured hams.

This one looks like he can’t speak above a whisper, and has arms like dried twigs. But what do I know? I’m looking at a bad photo. I could be wrong.

2/17 Air Cav

“Yep. He’s a dandy. He’s a real fancy boy!”

A Proud Infidel®™

He looks like a cross dresser that forgot to shave before putting on makeup.

Atkron

Daniel Clay Cheatham loves to give a Happy Finish.

rgr769

He always “finishes” fake Ranger proud.

Tom Huxton

seven months in BCT may be some sort of record.

26Limabeans

He was such a prized sissy they kept recylcing him for the benefit of the next class.

Ret_25X

yep…a real first time “go” at every event there.

I went to Harmony Church 14 Oct 86-7 Feb 87 with a christmas exodus in the mix didn’t spend 5 complete months there….

Green Thumb

30th AG man!

Andy11M

I still have nightmares about that place when ever I smell pinesole or Brasso.

A Proud Infidel®™

Maybe they kept him around as an example of how NOT to be, the “THAT GUY”?

A KP/Sick Call Ranger.

Ex-PH2

Must be an epidemic.

Ret_25X

I”m betting we are only seeing 20% of the phony demographic at that…

I meet them every day here in the DC (District of Crime) area….

A Proud Infidel®™

May his next Doctor Appointment be with a sadistic Proctologist that has huge fingers and piss-poor depth perception.

AW1Ed

Don’t forget the class ring, API.

Roh-Dog

I’m going float a theory about soy-boy mcfuckface here, he’s not to be trusted around kids.

Andy11M

block 21 0f his 214, “Soldier not available to sign”, now what do you suppose that means?

Ret_25X

He was on a C-130 rolling down the strip…dumb fuck soy boy on a one way trip?

Mason

Couldn’t sign it, so he judo chopped it.

Ex-PH2

Couldn’t find him anywhere. Mailed it to him.

Claw

You’re probably right.

He could have been in an AWOL/Deserter status when finally administratively discharged and a copy was sent out by certified mail to his last known/Home Of Record address.

Jay

Dumb-asste

I definitely would NOT do downward facing dog if he were behind me…

Combat Vet

I can’t wait to read about him being prosecuted under the Stolen Valor Act. I’m a combat veteran who suffered a spinal injury in Iraq and I’ve struggled for nearly 14 years now, just so a poser can steal valor to gain financially claiming injuries similar to mine.

Wilted Willy

I understand your pain CV, I have a poser brother that has been scamming the VA for $3200 bucks a month for his phony disability and no one will listen to me!!! And this has been going on for years now!!!

Combat Vet

File a complaint with the OIG. I can’t even maintain a rating without the VA screwing me over at every exam.

Green Thumb

I hear you.

There is a turd here that relieved two article (FG) 15’s followed by AWOL.

In lieu of a CM, he took a General and was booted as an E-1.

This loser deployed, I will give him that. But he openly brags about claiming the “PTSD” and all other shit to draw benefits. And then he brags some more. And he will tell the “whole” story when talking to the press and shit about his advocacy and non-profit. He can’t work, be around crowds, has nightmares and shit but he is heavy into drugs and seems to be always out drinking. To include the American Legion,of which if I am not mistaken, he was the Post Commander. And several of those people know as well. But they do not care. Some of them actually look up to him as some sort of hero for ripping off the VA.

Turds. All of them. And this turd is one fat sack of shit. And I do mean fat.

So, we hooked him up and helped him work through his bullshit problems. We just spread the word and asked people to ask certain questions. Although this loser still gets his money, people ask a lot more “specific” questions and he has a tendency to leave or become “small”. Funny how that works.

Maggot.

Sparks

Queer bait.

Green Thumb

By the looks of him, I doubt even Johnny Weir would take a nibble.

RCAF_CHAIRBORNE

I think I saw him on RuPaul’s Drag Race. (There are no cars involved)

RetiredDevilDoc8404

WTF is up with that rump ranger’s hair (the only kind of ranger he might be qualified to be)? There needs to be a Surgeon General’s warning about possible eye damage at the top of the page when pics like tinky-winky’s come up. Jeezus, now I have to wash my eyes out with battery acid…

HMC Ret

Use acetone, 8404, works just as well and less caustic.

HMC Ret, 8404

RetiredDevilDoc8404

Thanks, Chief! Forgot about good ‘ol acetone, used to love that smell when we used the guns to give shots.

Roh-Dog

Was this douche MOSQ’ed? Should be 11X or show OSUT Grad on ERB/214, right?
There is def something wrong here, just raising his hand should have made him eligible for GWOT and/or NDR…
Regardless, I still want to cuntpunch shim for disgracing the Home of the Infantry and being a festering turd.

Roh-Dog

NDSM, not NDR.
I have shamed my stripes…

Frankie Cee

HA1 I clicked on Daniel Cheatham’s facebook page, and it opens as Ambrosia Wellness. I followed that and came up with a phone number, called it and got a lady. She says he don’t own the business but she does know him. I told her that serious allegations had been made at a blog regarding Ranger Regiment service and an Afghanistan wound that didn’t happen, and he should address that before the truth gets his name to deep in the anals, (or was that annals), of Goooooooooooogle. She didn’t ask for info on the post, so I didn’t offer it.

Combat Vet

He mainly goes by “Clay” heatham

lily

Just another phony living in grand delusion and he has no intestinal fortitude. He probably got PTSD after being smoked in the sand pit for not paying attention in map reading class. I wonder what broke him? No use of internet for a week?

RM3(SS)

I always wondered what the good idea fairy looked like. Now I know. Tinkerbell is jealous as hell.

Combat Vet

To Book Your Session with Daniel (Clay):
Call or Text
(606)706-6444

A Proud Infidel®™

The Farcebook page says Danville KY when that boy looks like something off the streets of San Foo-foo.

W2

Looks like Jody for teh ghey’s.

A Proud Infidel®™

I’ve heard rumor that Daniel Clay Cheatham is an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).

W2

I don’t know API, he looks like his apprenticeship is completed to me and he has moved up to apprentice trainer. Got a stall all his own and everything.

Tony180A

Phony Ranger Daniel Clay Cheatham dresses up in a Winnie the Pooh costume for Phony Seal Dennis Pasquale.

Graybeard

OK, we finally add another phony Ranger.

I’d like a ruling from the TAH experts here – should I count an E1 basic washout as “real service”? He at least volunteered and went into basic, but he never served in a unit.

Maybe I need a category for Basic Failures?

Claw

Not a TAH expert, but I’ll render an opinion.

A quick recap of the Cabana Boy’s DD214:

Reserve Obligation – None
Primary Specialty Awarded – None
Decorations – None
Military Education Completed – None

“Service” to our Nation – NONE!!

Create a new category? Nope, he/she/it/whatever the Hell it is simply belongs in the kicked to the curb ELS category with all the other non-hacking pukes.

E4 Mafia For Life.

I ETS’d as a SPC (E4).
CPL is a lateral rank in the Army and up to the unit or MOS if you retain that. You might be a CPL then go to another unit then lose it.
I can’t find anything on Google because my attention span is limited but do you guys know if a CPL ETS’s as a SPC or CPL?
…or if you are an E1 and transition to Yoga Master, you ETS as a CPL Ranger Space Shuttle Door Gunner’s Mate 3rd Class.

Combat Vet

I finished my time as a Corporal and it wasn’t rescinded when I got out, so the rank on my DD-214 is Corporal.