Joe Stetson; another Malheur NWR phony veteran

| June 13, 2016

Joe Stetson

You might remember back in January when we talked about Joe Stetson when he was arrested by Oregon State Troopers for driving under the influence at a gas station when he stopped on his way to the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge near Burns, Oregon to join the militia boys there. Stetson claimed to the troopers that he was a retired special forces colonel whose records had been sealed by Ronald Reagan.

From the New York Daily News;

Joseph Stetson, 54, repeatedly touted his credentials as a retired U.S. Army Green Beret as Oregon State Police troopers cuffed him at 11:45 a.m. Monday.

The allegedly blitzed driver, a New York native, packed a pellet gun and intended to serve as the Bundy brothers’ bodyguard at the embattled Harney County refuge, police said.

[…]

“You unleashed a lethal freakin’ warrior,” said Stetson, whose violent diatribe was captured on body camera footage shared by Harney County Sheriff’s Office.

Well, Hondo tried to get his records anyway. The National Personnel Records center told us that they couldn’t find anything that would indicate that he was ever a member of the military, so Reagan did an especially good job at sealing his records.

Joseph Stetson FOIA

I can tell by your faces that you’re shocked at this outcome. His comments at the first link are not indicative of a sane person. The fact that a person served in the military isn’t classified or “sealed” – only in Hollywood does that happen. I have the FOIA records of Delta Force soldiers that indicate their service, but not what they did. Joe Stetson did not serve in the military. Period.

Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures

147 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Lurker Curt

A fucking pellet gun…?

Dumbass.

Hack Stone

If they bring a rubber knife to the fight, you bring a pellet gun. That is the Oathkeepers way!

Bill M

Yeah, but it was an assault pellet gun with namby pamby action. You don’t want to fool with that kind. They’re lethal – you could die laughing ya know.

Martinjmpr

(sigh) Everyone wants to be a steely-eyed kill-bot until it’s time to do steely-eyed kill-bot stuff, amirite?

Yef

But, but, he is so bad, that President Reagan had seal his records!
He is sooo lethal, that lethal weapon was based on him. He is sooo secret that he cannot tell you his name, or he would have to killz ya.

Martinjmpr

His combat patch requires a “Top Secret” cover sheet.

He is required to lock his ribbon rack in a GSA approved safe at night.

His 201 file is so classified it says “Burn BEFORE Reading.”

I got a million of ’em. 😀

IDC SARC

D-Bag

ChipNASA

That’s too high a grade, I’d give him F-bag.

Hondo

Try S-bag.

SFC D

More of an empty sack

Hondo

I’m pretty sure he’s full of it.

HMCS(FMF) ret.

Empty ball sack… Joe Stetson, the nutless “colonel”

Hondo

Well, that could be the case.

Since I’m not medical and you’re the retired HM, I’ll let you do the verification exam. (smile)

Marine_7002

While the Master Chief is down there doing the verification exam, he might as well snip this asswipe’s reproductive tubing and permanently ensure that said asswipe doesn’t reproduce.

Master Chief – got a dull rusty scalpel in your box of medical goodies?

SFC D

I got two bricks.

Claw

I’ve got a single edge razor blade and a spare 10 seconds.

Anybody wanna see me do a clip and snip?

Just hold him up by his ankles. I’m quicker than the Flash when it comes to stuff like that.

SFC D

I’m thinking elastration.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elastration

HMCS(FMF) ret.

Ball peen hammer works pretty good – at least that’s what I’ve been told.

Joe

Hey you watch yourself I’m not a guy you want to mess around with.

IDC SARC

You’re right(not) Joe. I’m sorry. You’re not a douchebag. A douchebag actually has a purpose.

Skippy

Joe where is momma at

Thomas Huxton

Proof of teh stoopid; threaten to kill the troopers while handcuffed.

Ncat

He only allowed the officers to cuff him in order to lull them into a false sense of security before unleashing his RAMBOnctious, freakin’ lethality.

Ex-PH2

Why is it that all these selfie shots are right up someone’s big, ugly snout?

This genius is too disturbed for his own good. He needs his own quiet spot where no one will have to listen to his yapping.

A Proud Infidel®™

Preferably a nice padded room wearing a “huggie jacket” after a dose of Thorazine.

Combat Historian

Man, that top photo…those steely eyes…eyes of a hardened SpecOps O-6 combat warrior veteran who’s been to Hell and Back and then some; guy just oozes hardcore…////////

Joe

Tell it brother I thought the same thing when I read it this guy looks for real the kinda guy that could do some damagae and take a guy out lots a different ways. True heroes know how t take it up a notch when the (u know what) s–t hits the fan!

Hondo

Yer cousin Jack Sh!t blew your cover, Fulla. So you can cease the “I’ll comment as Joe” BS.

Jack also says you need to STFU or the family will disown you.

Joe

I don’t got a cousin by that name and I don’t know noboday named Jack either friend. I’m just here like u but don’t think u should be talking like that because u never know what somebody been thru and u might mess with the wrong person and be regret it that’s all.

JACK SHIT

You don’t know me, “Joe”.

Hondo

You obviously aren’t the brightest bulb on the tree either, “Fulla”.

Martinjmpr

Uhh, Hondo I don’t think that’s Fulla.

I think that’s Fulla’s “special” cousin, Dumm. 😉

Hondo

You could well be right about that.

Lotta Shit

STFU, Joe Mama… stupid bytch.

A Proud Infidel®™

Gee whiz, what a surprise – NOT!! He DOES look like the most lethal thing that could ever happen to a jelly doughnut or day old nachos.

Used to be Stillserving

He needs a good ass whipping

Joe

I think you need to watch out what u are saying on here u might be barking up the wrong tree with this guy.

Hack Stone

He might put your eye out with that pellet gun.

Ncat

You can break the skin with those and cause a nasty infection.

Martinjmpr

He has a bb in his pocket with your name on it.

SFC D

That’s a testicle

Joe

Pellet guns don’t shoot bbs anyway so I don’t know what that joke is suppost to be about.

Hondo

Actually, many .177 caliber air rifles/pistols will indeed fire both BBs and pellets.

clamsgotlegs

Joe’s gun:

http://p2.la-img.com/930/30812/12084682_1_l.jpg

But will it shoot a bag of dicks?

Just sayin’

Used to be Stillserving

Whatever….. Blah, blah, blah….

jarhead

RRrrrrrrrrr woooof woooof. Can I hike my leg and take a whiz on your root? Instead of Jo De Grinder, you be Jo De Newguy. We can use a new chew toy. You gonna have to wear a collar for the first couple of weeks. Possibly a muzzle if you start barking any louder and tougher. Please have your shots up to date.

HMCS(FMF) ret.

A phony Colonel… dude has got to stop playing “Call of Booty – Anal Buttsekks Warrior” and get himself a life.

Phony shitbird

AW1Ed

With respect, Senior Chief, I believe he’s the read deal shitbird.

Skippy

Crazy Douch Bag or nozzle

Joe

Hey there buddy I think u better be more careful messin with a guy and saying thinks like that u might be messin with a animal man. Just some good advise from a friend.

Hack Stone

Spellcheck is your friend, Joe. When you are able to discern between advice and advise, come back and talk intelligently to us.

JACK SHIT

Hack Stone is right and he knows me!

ChipNASA

NSFW….

Martinjmpr

“Animal man” Hmm…(searches google)

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/marvel_dc/images/0/0b/Animal_Man_Vol_1_41.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090108155234

Ah, I see what you’re saying. The resemblance is uncanny!

Hack Stone

Will this jeopardize his chances of landing a coveted position in the Phony Veterans To Senior Executive Program sponsored by All Points Logistics?

A Proud Infidel®™

I bet Elaine Ricci wouldn’t even think about hiring him.

Hack Stone

Elaine hired me. Signed me to a lifetime contract. And if anyone wants to dispute that, they can bring Elaine Ricci into court and swear under oath that she didn’t.

CB Senior

Now we know where all the Dildos went

A Proud Infidel®™

And we know who ate the Bags of Dicks®™!

3E9

Dipshit.

Joe

Now ur really getting out of hand there pal this is not the kind a way to talk to a guy because u might catch urself having a bad day to and then u will see.

ChipNASA

O yex? We’ll 10-4 good buddy, cause thisd posting is thwe long way to take a shot trip to sum guize wapping it in your dirxtions amd u’ll see whaqt the reall bad azz world is brings to teh gamez.
You betcha.

Joe

Boy I don’t know what ur trying to say but brother I’m just saying it could get out of hand real quick if u mess with the wrong guy. If this guy sees this page he might up and get mad or sad and it just don’t need to be that way.

JACK SHIT

You don’t know me, “Joe” the troll.

3E9

Look out Chip, he might get mad or sad and we wouldn’t want that!

3E9

Really? Is he going to bring his BB gun and scare me with it? He’s a dipshit and you’re a troll. Fuck off. You have no idea what out of hand is. If you decide not to fuck off then please find someone who can spell a word with more than three letters.

Joe

I don’t think u should really be talking to someone u don’t know like this. I bet this man is a real mad dog or junkyard dog who will bite harder then he barks.

3E9

Good Morning Troll/Chew Toy,
I’ll be sure and file what you think in the appropriate cabinet. Did you learn you’re extensive vocabulary watching shitty 70’s movies and wrestling? And again, he’s a dipshit and you can fuck off. Cheers!

ChipNASA

Hey Joe Troll,
Go suck a Fat Baby’s Dick.
Signed,
SMSgt, E-8 (like 3E9) “GFY” Chip

3E9

Thanks Senior, appreciate the backup!

A Proud Infidel®™

Hey Joe the troll, how many donated Bags of Dicks did you eat while you and your fellow tinfoil-heads were “0ccupying”, IF you were ever even there?

IDC SARC

Junkyard Dog..pffft…more likely an edentulous transient that inhabits the local landfill.

F@ckYoCouch

Favorite Quotes

“I bileve that for a man o women if you want to live a good and normal life you half to go by God’s laws that’s the 10 commandments if not your life will be nothing but trouble instead of peace and harmony I…”

Sounds like this guy was writing his favorite quote when he arrived at the service station. And, damn, who is he quoting? Borat?

Joe

Beautiful.

The Other Whitey

What a fucking lowlife cockbag.

Joe

Wow that’s strong words about a man u heve never met. U don’t know this guy so maybe we shouldn’t be judging him who knows he might be going thru some things in his life and we don’t know.

JACK SHIT

You don’t know me, “Joe” the troll.

The Other Whitey

I’m easy to find, Joey. How would you like your bag of dicks delivered?

Hack Stone

Well Joe, I guess that it would be safe to assume that you do not know any of the commenters here on the blog. You are not the first, and probably will not be the last, to threaten or imply bodily harm for commenting on a poser. I am not sure what your relationship is with Joe Stetson, but your attempts at intimidation are failing miserably. Let Joe speak for himself, he is (allegedly) a retired Special Forces Colonel. He should have the experience and military bearing to resolve the situation himself. And, if Joe Stetson does want to get physical, good luck with that. I doubt that he has the funds, nor the legal authority to leave certain jurisdictions, to come to kick some or all our asses.

jarhead

Count me out on this one. Always have made a habit to never get into an argument with anyone under the age of five, and to never waste time with one who cannot construct a single competent sentence. Seriously, Joe’s ramblings reflect the education of a Special Ed student who is currently 27 years old and in the sixth grade already!

Hack Stone

Or the Vice President of a “proud woman owned” business that sells software to the federal government. Does anyone whether “Joe” has a door on his mailbox?

IDC SARC

..so, Joe’s so high speed even his education was Special…or the only thing that was Special.

A Proud Infidel®™

I’m sure that “Joe” the troll licked MANY a window on “that bus” going to and from school.

HMC Ret

Jarhead: You DO know what is long and hard on a troll or poser, don’t you?

3rd Grade

Joe

Ur right I don’t know this guy but he seems like a few tools are missin from his tool shed and he might be goin thru things in his life that u don’t know so instead of everybody being nasty maybe let the lord in ur lives and be kind or else u might regret what u get.

A Proud Infidel®™

Hey “Joe”, may i suggjest too take sum remedial grammar and spelllimg lessons that way yoo don’t come across looking like a fifth grade dropout.

Lotta Shit

You must be one of those “two hole taint ticklers” that we keep hearing about, huh troll?

Keep on working it… work that nutsack real hard…

Bobo

I would have been shocked if it had come back with some military service.

Hondo

I actually thought it might, Bobo – service less than stellar, possibly terminated by an OTH discharge or court-martial. Lord knows we see that sort often enough among military fakes claiming SF and/or other elite service.

But here, we apparently have nothing more than yer garden-variety LSoS wannabe who never served a day in uniform.

Claw

I see that Joe the Troll attended the Charles Jenkins and Family Institute for Creative Writing and graduated as the 2016 class valedictorian.

Claw

Oops. Almost screwed up. Have to give credit where credit is due.

The “anonymous/anonomous” troll commenter from the Amber Dawn Brower thread was the 2016 Creative Writing class Salutatorian.

Mea Culpa.

B Woodman

Oh, goody! Another new troll chew toy for all of us TAHers who have actually “been there, done that”, to play with until “he” retreats back to mommy’s basement. And we can tease and taunt to our heart’s content. He’s already “squeaking” ’cause we’re not blindly accepting his misspelled, undecipherable random screed BS.

Hi! Joe! Come on in, the water’s fine. (hehehe)

And a special shout out to Jack SHit and all his relations. I know ’em, all. Hi Jack! How’zit out there in ShitLand?

JACK SHIT

YOU KNOW ME BW, I’m doing just fine! ?

B Woodman

Glad to hear it, Jack. And all your other relations?

SFC D

He’s still not yet been introduced to The Lionesses. It’s been quite some time since they had a proper chew toy.

B Woodman

(rubs hands gleefully together)
Ohhh, I can’t wait!

HEY! Ex-PH2!
Bring yerself and all the other feminine lovlies of TAH! We gots a new chew toy for ya to play with! Meet “Joe”. That may or may not be his real name. But that’s how he signs his incomprehensible screeds against us here in TAH Land.

(steps back, makes a sweeping bow towards Joe. then clears out of the way)

Lotta Shit

Yo BW, how’s it hanging?

19D2OR4-Smitty

Made O-6 by the age of 28. That’s impressive.

Can we get these posers a math lesson? They can’t blame it on common core.

Hondo

Apparently not completely unheard of – before and during World War II.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Thyng

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galusha_Pennypacker

Afterwards, not so much.

Bobo

They were also bringing folks off the street as COLs and having them leave as generals. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Sarnoff

ex-OS2

Cocksucker.

Joe

No need to be nasty this guy might be a problem for u if he reads this.

IDC SARC

There’s a significant distance between probability and possibility in this case considering his performance with the LEOs.

ex-OS2

How about….

Fucking cocksucker.

Much better, I agree.

Hack Stone

Joe, are we to believe that the subject of this thread can read and comprehend multi-syllable words? He has bigger issues to deal with other than our comments, such as getting President Reagan to unseal his records.

Joe

Do u know him? Do u know anything about him other then the nasty stuff folks here here are writing about him who don’t know him? How do u know he didn’t get his records seeled by the president? Ur skating on thin ice if he sees this page.

ex-OS2

His actions are not indicative of an Army Colonel or Army Green Beret and his bearing is far from above reproach.

I would guess that his DUI will really fuck up his bid for the Presidency don’t you think?

http://joestetson79.blogspot.com/

Joe

I just read this and he seems like a good guy. I think hed be a good friend and always have his buddys back when times get tough. I exspecially like the fact that hes a animal lover and I agree a lot with his views and think heck he’d make a good us president if he got the chance. He’d sure be better than who we got to look at now!

3E9

Well Joe show him the fucking page so we can be done with you and converse with him. Troll

Joe

I don’t know Mr. Stetson but if I did I wouldn’t show him this because hed get steaming mad or sad and is lible to do some damage like a red hot tornado and I dont’ want to be responsible for that.

jarhead

Jody Ill Literate: Don’t run off so soon. You sure can talk some fine trash, even if you can’t spell shit. On a scale of 1-10, you earn a .00000000000007 for communication skills. Now on a scale of 1-10 you earn a —–minus 27 for sounding like the big badass wolf. Betcha there’s a bunch of us hoping Ex-PH2 takes a liking to your tough guy rambling. She’s NOT easy, so don’t get the wrong idea just because she types with her claws retracted under sheath. Tell you what, impress HER and the rest of us on T A H will have to admire and respect you. Just don’t insult her by asking her out for a tuna dinner.

A Proud Infidel®™

Ex-PH2 and the Lionesses of TAH®™have claws that make razor blades look tame.

Joe

I don’t know what any of this means but thanks for the kind words and no I don’t like tuna or any seafood really for that matter God bless.

Hondo

Hey, “don’t ask, don’t tell” ended years ago. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you “don’t like tuna”, Joey-boi.

Lotta Shit

I bet you are a goo gobbler…

jarhead

The worst thing about getting older is how the memory fades every so often and takes a few minutes to get back up to speed. So it finally comes back to me: Yep, this is a rerun of an old Jimmy Hendrix song.

“Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that pellet gun in your hand?
I’m goin’ to kill an old State Trooper; caught him messin’ ’round with another Malheur man.”

Hendrix was way ahead of his time.

SFC D

jarhead… standby for correction… although Mr. Hendrix made that song famous, I was once gently corrected by someone that it was a cover… and my rock and roll knowledge was once again expanded. incoming…

jarhead

SFC….You’re probably right. As I said, that mind thingy slipping can be a bitch. Not to mention the Calif. orange barrels (the 4-way hits), blotter acid, blue & purple micro dot, Robitussin A C cough syrup, placidyls, ‘ludes,
seconal….it all added up to a period not only do I prefer to forget, but can barely remember clearly some times. Best I can offer is I do at least recall Hendrix singing that song. Thanks for clarification though.

Cam back from RVN with a bit of a monkey on my back. Running with the wrong crowd for a while left it hanging.

SFC D

Mr. jarhead, I was 7 when Jimi joined the 27 club, and my Dad and Bro in Law were over there around the same time you were. I was raised on a mixture of country music (south Texas mom) and big band (dad’s influence, vet of WWII, Korea, and Nam) and 60’s music thanks to my twisted sisters! A certain Hondo was the man that educated me on “Hey Joe”. Still one of my favorite Jimi tunes.
Guys like you are who guys like me learn from, and then it’s our turn to pass it along.

jarhead

SFC…some things you don’t want to learn from the old timers, in particular the errors of their way..lessons learned.
When you have some time one day, check out a few groups from the late 60’s and early 79’s…Uriah Heep, Cream (Listen to an album called “Fresh Cream”), Pink Floyd, a Beatles’ album called Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.a few songs by a group called Redbone, just for starters.
Thank you for the kind words, but PLEEEEEEEEAZE Do NOT call me MR. Yes, I realize it is a sign of respect for your elders, but I’m still a rocker at heart and neither think, dress, behave, or act like 99% of the folks my age. Regarding country music, there was always one very special fellow who never reached the greatness he deserved simply because Elvis was the answer to all. Your Tex. musical appetite may find this interesting. Thank you in advance for remembering to NOT call me Mr.

Hondo

Can’t believe you didn’t mention Steppenwolf, jarhead. (smile)

jarhead

When I crank up the memory Steppenwolf absolutely DOES come to mind, thank you. Then they all start popping up mentally.
Led Zepplin, Grateful Dead, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Z Z Top (of COURSE!), Black Sabbath, Aerosmith, G F R, The Stones, Allman Brothers Band, Frank Zappa, Santana, Jefferson Airplane, Deep Purple…..and who knows how many come to my mind later?

Green Thumb

Dude just looks like he got a very minor whiff of a steaming pile of Phil Monkress.

Sucks to be him when he gets a full snort.

Assclown.

Mark RM1USN, ret

Go back to your mommies basement and keep playing Call of Duty Asshat Division, you dick.

Joe

Mark that’s a real nasty thing to say when u never met this man but he looks like a lose cannon and u should delete this message because God is watching.

Lotta Shit

Still polishing that knob, “Joe”?

Mark RM1 USN ret

Hey Joe, I deal with dickheads like you at my work. You fucking non serving troll.

Joe

U don’t know me Mark so I suggest u stop calling nasty names to me and delete these before trouble comes out of it. No this issnt a threat just saying what goes around comes around and u might find some nasty things said about u.

Mark RM1 USN ret

Suck a bag of dicks, troll.

jarhead

Will someone PLEASE knock on EX-PH2’s door and let her know the perfect storm is brewing and she needs to captain the ship.

Sparks

That’s like…knock…knock…knockin’ on heaven’s door!

Sparks

I know how this got started with Joe Stetson. They caught him, of course, at a truck stop gas station and he was doing his usual. Trolling the men’s rooms for anyone he could blow or give hand jobs to.

Joe

Now that there sounds like a bold faced lie to me. u don’t know Joe Stetson so u can’t say hes in to doin gay stuff because that’s just wrong and if he sees this u will be in for it.

JACK SHIT

You don’t know me, “Joe” the troll.

Lotta Shit

I know you, Jack!

Have you seen Holy and Fulla lately?

Hondo

I originally thought “Joe” here was Fulla, but Martinjmpr set me straight by letting me know that Joe’s true name was “Dumm”.

Sparks

At my age, as many times as I have been “in for it”, all I have to say is, uh, excuse me…yawn. Pardon me, now, what were you saying again?

jarhead

Joe…..or is it Jo Mama? One of has to apologize for the rude Mr. Sparks. He knoweth not what he say. The nerve of one of the T A H
crew sounding so disrespectful ! It’s not like you were talking shit to the Shit family. Nope, you were more like muttering to the Piss family, even though they haven’t been on this web site lately. Quick, Hot, and Short are those to watch for in that family.
Back to lovely and talented, always effervescent Mr. Sparks. Now he might have seen the same hand-written sign that I did on the bathroom stall at a truck stop. Only mine mentioned YOUR name and said you were a hand assistant to Joe. Do the both of you work work hand-in-hand so to speak? Personally, unlike Mr. Sparks, Joe’s pron mustache didn’t bother me even though he does remind me of one of the characters from the Village People. Hey, you aren’t the Indian are you? Naw, from what you write, I’d guess you to be the big tough guy construction worker. That’s enough to make my point. Again, I’m sorry for Mr. Sparks’ nasty comments. After all, he does not represent all of us on the T A H web site. Unfortunately when 99% of this crowd feels that way, that makes the other 1% (or was it three percenters?) look like mean-spirited folks.
BTW, what does “U will be in for it” mean? In for what? Please surprise me and say it’s a yellow chiffon cake or box of chocolates.

Joe

Those are a lot of words.

Hondo

Do you need someone to explain them to you?

Silentium Est Aureum

Waste of time. All you see is his lips moving as you try to explain the big words to him, like, “a”, “an”, and, “the”.

jarhead

Let me summarize it for you Joe.

Joe….that’s supposedly you

or….of different possibilities

Crap, this is going to take years. Joe, just accept this as a short version. Life can be complicated for you when you go to the toilet (that’s number two to you Joe) and you wipe a hole in the ground by mistake.

Joel Stepson

This guy is a real loser I feel sorry for his mother.

Green Thumb

Major loser.