Gerhard “Jerry” Smith; Major E-10 Marine phony

| November 24, 2014

Gerhard Smith1

Scotty sends us his work on this fellow Gerhard Smith who was actually busted several years ago by our buddy, Doug Sterner. He was busted when he tried to join his local Marine Corps League with this obviously forged DD214;

Gerhard Smith DD214 forgery

Yeah, I don’t know what a “Major E-10” is, but Scotty says that he tries to pass himself off as a “one star Major General”. For the uninitiated a Major General wears two stars. There’s a lot of weird and funny shit on that DD214 – like the fact that he’s “ineligible to reenlist”. Officers don’t enlist or reenlist. I don’t even want to guess what a “riffle expert” does. But, it’s nice to see that he awarded himself the Medal of Honor, he thinks highly of his service, apparently. But he calls it the “CMA”, the “Congressional Medal of Ahnor”, I suppose. Officers don’t get a “Good Conduct Medal” because they’re supposed to be good always without recognition, whereas, we enlisted folks are only good occasionally.

But, the National Personnel Records Center says “Who?”;

Gerhard Smith FOIA

Despite the fact that Gerhard “Jerry” Smith was busted years ago, he still does his posing, mostly to get some strange on the dating websites, because nothing attracts the womenses like a bullet wound;

Gerhard Smith

Category: Phony soldiers

61 Comments
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Doc Savage

Not even trying….*sigh*

GDContractor

From 1975 to 2000 at the Rank of Major. The Major that time (and NPRC) forgot. This guy needs a warm cup of soup and the heartiest of hearty handshakes.

Mustang1LT

Along with the coldest of ice cream sandwiches.

Green Thumb

Along with some assistance from “Forgin'” Frank Visconi.

ChipNASA

I read that in this voice G.T.

Twist

I once seen a forged ERB that said hand to hand combat level five. Busting that phoney is what led me to here via Guardians of Valor.

FatCircles0311

I hope you gave him remedial fisticuffs prac app!

3E9

Geez, put a little bit of effort into being a dipshit!

2/17 Air Cav

I am thinking of lemons, triple lemons. For those of you who do not know to what I refer, believe me, you are lucky. I surely wish I didn’t.

Instinct

Thanks, Air Cav, I had blocked that information in my head until you just brought it up. Now, it’s back in there full force and I am going to have to drown it in booze.

I’m going to tell my wife that YOU were the reason I had to buy a really good bottle of Scotch today. 😀

Ex-PH2

2/17AirCav, every time you say ‘lemon’, I get this craving for lemon cake with lemon frosting.

Would you STOPPITTPLLEEEEZE??

2/17 Air Cav

Ex- I wish that I could think of lemon cake. Triple-layered lemon cake. Wrinkly triple layered-lemon cake. Frosting? Oh God.

A Proud Infidel®™

Lemon pudding, it was my favorite dessert when I was a kid!

Twist

Whatever you do don’t ever ever nerver ever Google it.

2/17 Air Cav

Ever. Never.

MustangCryppie

God damn it! Now I’m going to want to google it for the next week!

OAE CPO USN Ret

If you insist on doing that, then make sure that children, members of the clergy, and anyone easily offended is not within viewing range of your monitor.

Oh, and don’t do it on a work computer.

2/17 Air Cav

And if you take all of those precautions, you’ll still be damaged for life. It is not worth it. I recall when it was mentioned here. I forget with of the sick Dickweeds mentioned it. Pick one. Anyway, I had no real warning, no real hint of the horror that would be mine. So, I took a gander. I regret it. If I could have taken a selfie when mine eyes first glimpsed that ugliness, well, no one who saw my captured reaction would ever make my mistake. So, I leave it to you but know this: Once seen, the lemon party cannot be rendered unseen.

GDContractor

Just for the record, I have never googled Bernath Wickre Wittgenfeld Lemon Party (google hit). Seriously, I never have. Just witnessing you guys make oblique references about it is enough. Also, I have never engaged in pederasty, nor have I jacked off in a subway. Never ever have I claimed to be a CPO, POW, LRRP, Lawer, or sole owner of a woman owned business. Kick me out of the club if you must.

Ex-PH2

I can see that I should do an essay about the difference between lemon cake with lemon frosting and sprinkles, and the lemon party triad… with illustrations.

And I will. I promise. It’s on my two-do list.

Sparks

2/17 Air Cav…Well if it’s Lemon Party he’s into and probably is and I can think of SEVERAL here we’ve busted who would gladly play with him, they’ll have to listen to, “If You Wanna Be Happy”. 😀

Dave

He just splattered that with stuff he thought sounded cool.

It’s like they see the scene in predator where Arnold and Carl weathers greet eachother and think thats how it is.

Ex-PH2

I think I can help with some terms.

Riffle – a riffle is a tiny wave on a modest-sized body of water. It can be created by a breeze ahead of a storm or a very large blue gill chasing a trout, or even a diving bird like a cormorant or penguin.

CMA – certified major asshole

E-10 – an enlisted designation that covers rank, rate/MOS, and fake history for all milfakers, especially when looking for strange stuff on dating websites, or a chance to scam people. The proper rate/MOS is Embellisher 10th Class. So, for a phony CMA-wearing 1-star MG, he’d really be a CMA-wearing SPC10(E).

Did I miss anything? I’m going to make cookies today and I will be thinking seriously about lemon cake now, thanks to AirCav. 😛 😛 😛

OAE CPO USN Ret

If’n you were in some parts of the Ozarks these here definitions would apply:

A riffle is where you buy a ticket to enter in a drawing. They usually give away a nice hunting raffle at these riffles.

CMA – Hello? Country Music Awards!

E-10 – That’s that gas that the tree huggers poured moonshine into. But those idjits don’t call it moonshine, they call it ethanol. Uppity bastards.

ArmyATC

It makes sense now. This turd makes no more than a riffle in the scum covered poser pond.

clamsgotlegs

There are some intersting triple lemon recipies out there…just Google it. LOL

Sparks

Ex-PH2…I REMEMBER him now! It was ten years or so ago on the Country Music Awards. He was getting ready to play as a backup guitarist for the worst, no award winning, loser performing that night. While tuning the E string, it broke, flew back and punctured his left knee! Thus the bullet wound scar. It’s all coming back to me now, no crap, there I was watching the show…

The Other Whitey

Turd burglar.

Plymouth67

I am still tryin to figure this one. So he is a E-10 Major, well at least he got the Numba 10 right the rest he needs a lot of help on and I know a good place up here on the Mtn. that would gladly help him out. GRIN!!!

Green Thumb

Maybe he is hanging with General “Maggots and Rice” Fermijon Marrero.

Martinjmpr

I find it a little hard to believe he won a Country Music Award.

Combat Historian

He was assigned as a combat crooner; I heard they’re even rarer than combat historians…

19D2OR4 - Smitty

So if I am reading that 214 correctly, it says he was an E-10 Major, also at the rank of PVT in the 1st Marine Recon Field Artillery.

GDContractor

Ha ha. Recon Artillery reminds me of Alvie Singer, who played cello in his HS marching band. Movie reference?

Hack Stone

Would that be Woody Allen’s character in Take The Money And Run?

CLAW131

Annie Hall

GDContractor

I think Mr. Stone got it right. You’re slippin Mr. CLAW… maybe next time.

Mr. Stone, you have one a recently appropriated used mailbox door. It makes an awesome target for Ruger .222 riffle shooting. Enjoy.

GDContractor

Ummm…. you have “WON”, damn phone. SWEADEN!

CLAW131

GD,I think maybe you are slipping too. Woody Allen’s role in Annie Hall was Alvy Singer,and his role in Take the Money and Run was Virgil Starkwell.(Smile) I was basing my guess off of your Alvie Singer reference. But it’s all good. I have never watched either of those movies as I never have thought much of Woody Allen.

A Proud Infidel®™

So E10 = O4, huh, what’s wrong with my comprehension skills, did I mention I once played grand piano in a marching band as well?

3/17 Air Cav

Bunwad also claims two degrees from Florida State university. With a GPA of 3.6

Any bets that it’s total bullshit too!

A Proud Infidel®™

That shouldn’t be too hard to check up on!!

Ex-PH2

I thought that down there it was 75 degrees with an average of 18.9 GPA, not counting hurricanes.

GPA = general precipitation annually

Hondo

Nope – Tallahassee gets way more rain than 19″ annually. Double that is an unusually dry year. (smile)

TerpHeel

I was hoping to see listed among his many accomplishments Bow Staff Skills, Low Crawl Level V Certification, and Order of the Green Weenie.

Mark Lauer

Does two years as a Lieutenant. Gets wounded and can’t reenlist. Does 26 years as a Major. Has Top Secret clearance. Gets the CMA.

Yeah. He’s legit.

propsguy

OK , you older VN era guys help me out here. I was a little kid when vietnam was going on, and I was Army so I don’t now much about the Marines,

What is “the 16’th field Dept? FIrst DIvision?
Where is Than Hoa N. Vietnam?
What is an E-10/Major ?

( OK you guys busted me, Even an Army C-DAT like me knows that’s all jacked up, I couldn’t even type this with a straight face? )

Ex-PH2

Well, I could tell you about Thanh Hoa, but then I’d have to feed you… or put you in a rat cage or something.

It’s one of Vietnam’s biggest provinces, up near Hanoi, on the coast.

It now hosts ‘Vietnam’s Got Talent’.

propsguy

Oh yeah, I see he’s rockin the purple heart in his selfie too. Where’d he get wounded? The Kung-pao valley?

Ex-PH2

Probably more like Phuc Dhu or Lei My.

ByrdMan

A riffle expert is one of those dudes who ratfucks a bunch of MREs to find the jalapeno cheese spread.

Where is “Camp Parris Island”? Is that near the Depot?

Green Thumb

“one of those dudes who ratfucks a bunch of MREs to find the jalapeno cheese spread.”

I know some of them dudes.

Green Thumb

One usually finds them in “ORP” security.

NHSparky

This guy gets the entire pot of soup.

A Proud Infidel®™

Maybe he did SpeakOps in the Phuk Tup Mountains near Ai Suk and in the the Au Shet River valley based in the village of Eim Alphuk Tup?

ChipNASA

In that to photo if his hair were a little greener, he could pass himself off as a oompa loompa.

Marine_7002

I emailed this dickhead at the address shown on Scotty’s page, majorsmith23@gmail.com and suggested he change his email address to “majorfuckup” instead.

Ex-PH2

This doodlebug is definitely carrying symptoms of senile dimensions and tropical fungoiditis.

He should see a doctor. Quickly. They have stuff for that.

Big Steve

“Jerry” Smith is a big johnson of the first order. What a knob gobbler.

Green Thumb

“knob gobbler”.

What a great Thanksgiving comment!