Timothy Michael Smock; yet another phony SEAL
Scotty sends us his work on Timothy Michael Smock who somehow thinks that being a SEAL works in his favor as the owner of a professional cleaning company. But, no, he’s not a SEAL. He’s just another in long list of phonies, says Don Shipley.
His assignments list says that he was in Beachmaster Unit One at Coronado. This is what they say their unit does;
The mission of BMU One is to support the landing movement over the beaches of troops, equipment and supplies, and to facilitate the evacuation of casualties and prisoners of war. In addition, the Beachmasters maintain communications and liaison with designated naval commanders and naval control units, control all craft and amphibious vehicles in the vicinity of the beach from the surf line to the high water mark, coordinate the reembarkation of equipment, troops and supplies, determine and advise on the suitability for landing through coordination with the Oceanographic Section of the Sea, Air, Land (SEAL), control boat salvage, keep appropriate Navy commanders appraised of wind and surf conditions, install causeway beaching range markers and range lights, and assist in the defense of the beach.
Traffic management during a beach assault. Not a bad job, I suppose, and during an amphibious operation, it would probably require a large set of testicles, but I don’t remember any real combat beach assaults from September ’98 to July 2001. And, it not being a SEAL. And I don’t know what “passed all gun qualification classes” is doing on his resume. Do civilians really care about that when looking for a cleaning company?
Category: Phony soldiers
Guys in the type of unit he was in did serve honorably in combat in past wars, but certainly not when he was in… the thing that gets me about this clown is, why lie about being a SEAL when it’s not even remotely relevant to your line of work? I mean, I could understand if he was a shooting instructor of Scuba instructor. However despicable that may be. But why if you own a cleaning company?
DK: one word, amigo: dinero.
Look at some of his previous history as a fitness trainer, then the cleaning company. My bet – he wasn’t well liked or very good at his job (probably got hired based on his “SEAL training”, then was outed by fellow workers or clients).
BTW – WTF is a “SR-71 sniper riffle”? I’m a certified BFG 9000 Gemini Door Gunner with Two Palladium Asteroid Clusters (14 missions flown) and I’ve never heard of one of those thingies.
HMCS(FMF) ret.—-
“SR-71 sniper rifle.” Can I get that in a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt rang?
Gary Alexander…”Hey pal, just what you see here”.
“So which ones it gonna be?”
“All”
“I may close early today”
“Hey you can’t load that in here!”
“Wrong”
I dunno, Gary. Have you passed your M666-phased laser interferometer door gunner tests yet?
Heck, I thought they dropped the SR-71 from the WEPS roster and replaced it with the M-7 boot holster model STR-66. Did I miss something there?
I bet he doesn’t even know the first step in setting the M666’s microthermonuclear fusion reactor for “replenish”, let alone “activate”!
This dude cleans two-holes.
At no charge.
He looks like a public restroom toe-tapper to me!!
Jesus, how hard is that too understand? He is qualified on a handheld firearm that can take down a super sonic aircraft at 100,000ft. Not many can do that windage and lead so I’m pretty impressed
I trained for a month on Coronado Island. Doesn’t mean I get to claim SEAL though. Freaking idiot!
I did NLDP at Coronado back in 1996. Does that mean I can claim to be a SEAL too?
Hey Sparky, about ten years ago a company hired me as a consultant to market their insect bite treatment to the military. In that capacity I called on SEAL medical personnel at NAB Coronado several times. I also called on the Navy Diving Program at Panama City and the Ranger Camps at Eglin AFB, Ft. Benning and Dahlonega and the Special Boat Unit training facility in Southern Mississippi.
That consulting gig also took me to Force Recon at Pendleton and Lejeune and to the office of the command surgeon for the newly created Marine Special Operations Command at Lejeune as well. Oh, and I damned near forgot, I called on the Army SNIPER School, the Airborne School and the Ranger Regiment at Benning and Special Forces at Ft. Bragg, Ft. Campbell and Ft. Carson as well as the Pararescue Program at Kirtland AFB and SERE program at Ft. Rucker.
Let’s see now what that would make me, a Civilian Airborne Ranger Sniper, Force Recon SEAL Diver and Special Boat driver, cross trained in Pararescue as well as escape and evasion.
And for the effort it took to get into some of those places as a civilian I feel I should be entitled to some valor medals as well as some Purple Hearts for the mosquito and chigger bites I endured.
As soon as I get my old green uniform tricked out with all that bling, I’ll post a pic for the enjoyment of TAH readers. It will probably set a new standard for wannabees with all that splendor.
Almost forgot, my partner and I once called on the Night Stalkers at Campbell Army Airfield so that means I can add aviator wings, right?
That’d make you the most famous traveling salesman from West Texas, evah. lol.
As a seven year old Cub Scout, I got a tour of the Utah state Penitentiary. Does that make me an Ex-con? I sure hope not!
Did you see Phildo?
But, Poe, did you make the sale?
Damn, please put that bling on and post it. I’m pretty sure you will need crutches to stand straight. You might even get Soup Sandwich to bow to you.
Now, now. Poor Soupy has shuffled off this mortal coil. Let’s leave him be.
Legends never die, they just go deep black
Being a former Seal is absolutely a qualifier when we look to have our carpets cleaned. If they are a qualified sniper that is a bonus. Conversely, we only hire Marine RECON snipers to do the yard, and certainly only SF airborne to do roofing work. Silly boy.
Exactly. You’re not fixing my plumbing unless you’re a Navy Master Diver.
Actually, Climb to Glory – you might want to look for a former HT instead. (smile)
Shouldnt you really look for OTH and BCD guys to clean your heads, as they probably spent a ton of time doing that through their careers for being such F’ups? Oh and don’t hire an OS cuz they dont clean shit!!!!
spoken like a resentful BM who had to watch OS’ walkin’ of the ship first
Club Manager…Darn it! You beat me to the draw! I was going to say we only use SEAL trained carpet cleaning services and SF qualified lawn care professionals. They do a better job and it’s all UH-AH time when they work. You can’t beat that deep clean feeling in your carpets until you’ve had a former SEAL do them. And, the lawn, is perfect, every time! Hire a vet! That’s my motto.
Plus I might add, you know your AO is safe and secure when these vets are working!
Especially when Turd Bolling of Ambassador Worldwide Protection Agency is on the watch.
Green Thumb…It’s a given I always have Turd Bolling and Ambassador Worldwide Protection Agency on the job site. I mean former SEALs plus someone to hit on the wife and neighbor ladies when I’m not looking. That’s why I brief the SF guys ahead of time to give him a good beatdown of he says anything out of line. Turd Bolling and good beatdowns go together like PB and J!
The question is asked in the article, do civilians care about that when looking for a cleaning company.
I would assume that most people searching for a cleaning company, or any business for that matter, would search for reviews online such as Yelp to guide their decisions.
BUT, we have to realize that the general public is enamored of special ops type of guys, like SEALS, Special Forces, etc. The public is fascinated by and idolize these men. That’s why articles and movies about them are popular, like “Lone Survivor.” Why do you think we read constantly of people being swindled by phonies?
So, the way I look at it, all things being equal, if someone looks at a company and sees “former SEAL/SF/DELTA,” then they’re going to be in awe and be interested just on that name recognition alone.
So yes, in some cases it does matter.
Tman, it also means they are employing Stolen Valor for monetary gain which means they are committing a crime.
Shitbag.
His story is similar to many others.
Professional cleaning company, security company, logistics company, etc.
Turds.
I forgot Gay Jay Kerwin and his boot camp as well.
Also, this clown has one hell of a LinkedIn page.
There was Chuck Norris and then there was this guy.
Green Thumb…I noticed on his Linkedin page that he states one of his “Missions” among many, in the military was to “Call in fire from C131 gun ship”. Excuse me, a C131 gun ship? Well, Tim close but no cigar. It’s an AC-130 Gunship. Unless there is a new secret squirrel version I have yet to hear of. Tim, if you’re gonna post phony baloney crap all over your Linkedin page, at LEAST do a Google search for the proper nomenclatures of military aircraft. Dipshit. By the way Tim, I did a screen capture of your Linkedin page before you can clean it up.
Well…if one is gonna fib lots, a bigger aircraft is better to use… LOL. Only been inside of one once, back in the 70’s looked like a frigging football field to me. but, I am little so maybe thats it?
streetsweeper, I think the C-131 (they did exist) was much smaller than a C-130. You might be thinking about the C-133 Cargomaster instead.
Hondo I remember seeing the C-131 Samaritan in my old Air Force days. Just a smaller two engine plane made by Convair. Mostly passenger service that I remember of the ones I saw.
Sparks: yep, that’s what WikiPedia says about the C-131, too.
Interestingly enough, it was the first aircraft used in gunship testing (Project Tailchaser) in 1963. Tests went well, but the first operational gunships were built using a different airframe – the C-47 (“Puff the Magic Dragon”).
Street, are you referring to Puff the Magic Dragon?
Chubbyliar will confirm the C131 info,,, They were war buddies, no Denny calls him to disimpact his two-hole after a weekend of cheese bingeing.
The Muff-ucker was making a joke.
Seals breed on the same beaches every year, where the males fight for breeding rights. The boss Bull seal is called the “Beachmaster”
Otherwise, I will only believe the story if he has the TAT.
I tried teaching a Spetsnax SEAL diving course because that sounds more exotic and intriguing to the police and military that take my course.
Timothy Michael Smock might have gotten away with a Spetsnaz SEAL cleaning company but I’ve already put in the patent for that. I’ll “clean” up from here on with that…
sincerely
John “Faker 6” Giduck
I believe this is his link.
http://ezlocal.com/co/erie/commercial-cleaning-services/79420
Green Thumb…That’s our little boy! Ain’t he proud of himself? I bet his momma loves him too.
That link above also says that he is a ranked MMA fighter. Yet another relevant qualification for scrubbing toilets.
Rank? A shower will take care of that…. don’t drop the soap too often, though.
Does he haul junk?
I believe he actually temporarily polishes and restores junk.
Perhaps a more relevant question is, “Does he have junk?”
Wonder if, on top of benefitting financially from being a “SEAL”, he benefited financially from being a “SIU degree holder”? I bet his buddies at 303 Training Center and their clientele would know a bit more. I happen to work with a SIU instructor. I wonder if he is listed as a graduate, or even a student? How about that. It’s a small world.
HEY TIMOTHY SCHMUCK, I mean Smock, enjoying your newfound internet fame yet?
Has The Hair®™ been alerted yet?
SEAL Training
West Pack 1999
*Worked out ship with Sr. Chief Cunningham- Team 5
*BUDS obstacle course
*SEAL entrance test
– 120 Push ups, 140 sit-ups, 20 pull-ups, 1.5 mile completed in 8min 40 sec, finished 500m swim first (2nd place 3mins. behind)
SEAL Tactical Training
*Gun Qualifications
– MP5, M4, M16, M203, 60, SIG6, single shot 50 Cal, SR71 sniper riffle, grenades, and LAW rocket launcher,
*Explosives
– C3 Mat, C4 (Making M12 blocks), Mark 75 (Trench clearers)
*Close Quarter Combat
*SAR down pilot
*Missions
– Call in fire from C131 gun ship
– SAR down pilot
– Overtook small base camp while camp was shooting illuminating lights in search of us
– C3 mat breech through a ship or a door
– Land warfare pass/fail test
• 13 mile run with a 40 lbs. backpack, law rocket, M4, 2 grenades
• Mile 6: shot targets and grenade throws
• Mile 13: launch law rocket at target and called in helicopter for fast evacuation
• Flew into base camp: put together a dismantled 60 and shot all targets under 3 minutes
WTF is West Pack?
“…shooting illuninating lights at us” HUH?
C3 Mat? WTF is that?
This boy looks as 8TFU as a moldy shit soup sandwich in Somalia!!
IDK That 13 mile fast evac on a heli might come in handy if he uses too strong a solution in his machine
Boy can’t even spell “WESTPAC” correctly.
And someone ought to tell him that doing ONE deployment does not a salty mo-fo make.
Apparently some real SEALs ran over his face and he became an honorary SEAL as a result.
We need our honorary CHPO to chime in here since he’s an expert on the matter. Also his law advice cannot be missed.
God, my wife is so smart. I didn’t get the connection but SEAL = Water = Carpet Cleaning. Get it?????
You guys got it all wrong. If you look at Block 18 on his DD-214 it says “INVALID WITHOUT SEAL.” Since the DD-214 is valid, he must be a SEAL.
Maggot.
One also wonders what type of glass that jaw is made of?