Ladies and Gents, I present to you your 2013 Stolen Valor Tournament Champion….

| August 9, 2013

[Note, push play on this shitty ass recorder to get official music.]

I urge you to click through and see, but we got a pretty candid picture of our winner, what is seen cannot be unseen.

John “Gi-Duck” Giduck.
the horror

The final tally: Giduck def. Monkress 65.15% to 34.85%.

 

gi duck

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JohnGiducks Shovel

Now that my owner/user has won the competition, how many shovel maintenance technicians hang out here? I need rebuilding.

streetsweeper

YO! AbnMike! About damn time you dropped in out of the clear blue sky, bro. LOL! Glad GI Duck won. Now where can I find one of those E tools that looks just like his? I need one to outside and practice digging trenches.

Odie

I tell ya, I voted for monk seal first out of instinct, but then i had to pause and think about who really did the bad stuff. Gaydick was definitely the runniest turd of the two. Monkey boy just had his fan club president wicky-poo do the fighting for him, Phil Monkress was stupid, but that is just it: all he was is stupid. Giduck made a plan, and executed without pause for consequence. he was and is a con man and hopefully a prison rape victim

Green Thumb

I use Corey B. Trotz.

Because, Corey B., he get you paid!

jonp

ok, Freddie Mercury in spandex was not something I needed to see.

Common Sense

@17 – My thoughts exactly! I may never cleanse that picture from my mind! Ick!

I voted for him after remembering the whole Donna Yaklich saga here in CO. Kind of like voting for the local and all that.

ExHack

A contest well played and properly decided.

I will once AGAIN suggest a special award be created and given to Phildo and Psul. A Special Achievement Award – a NONCOMPETITIVE award, most appropriate considering Phildo’s enjoyment of unfair advantages and Psul’s desire to gain without effort.

LebbenB

@ExHack. Something akin to the Sixth Man award that the NBA awards? We could call it the Socky.

Just Plain Jason

Dallas is jealous that he isn’t getting attention…

Combat Shovel wins???? WTF??? I demand I recount! Foulplay is afoot! someone stuff the boxes MSG Soupy forever!!!!!

Smitty

glad GI Duck beat out monkey ass, but im still sure the SOCnet guys are stuffing the ballots. thats the only way to explain GI Duck beating Lard-ass Leg-man! a shovel may be able to take off a limb, but not near as efficiently as a train!

GiducksCertOfAppreciation

@110 Let it go, brother…Lardner was a one leg pony 🙂

OEF_Veteran

(mumbles) buncha sick whacked out mother frackers on this page.

LILYEA YOU ARE ONE SICK TWISTED BAZTARD AND I AM NOW SCARRED FOR LIFE (thank you very fracking much Jonn) ROFL

El Marco

I’d raise a glass to the winner, but he’s really a loser.

one of the analysts in our office showed with a book of his, which i promptly dropped in the trash can. Was told I needed to work on my “people” skills.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Maybe now he’ll accidentally give himself a TBI with that stupid f#cking shovel of his….what a complete and total 4ssclown…

Smitty

i have decided im going to dress up as giduck for halloween this year. i havent decided if ill do it as a duck in BDUs, or fake facial hair, a shovel, SF tab on russian uniform, and a trophy will balls on the top

Green Thumb

@115.

Strap a rubber phallus to your head and you could go as Phildo.

Smitty

dont wanna be philldo, he lost. besides, id need someone to follow me around with their head up my ass as psaul to be recognized, and that just sounds like a painful costume for me and who ever goes as psaul

Hondo

Raise a glass? No, El Marco. I think tonight I’ll take a leak in honor of the “winner” instead.

OldSargeUSAR

Cheers, and hats off to Goo-Dick, the shovel twirling majorette.