{"id":54904,"date":"2014-09-01T11:34:56","date_gmt":"2014-09-01T15:34:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=54904"},"modified":"2014-09-01T11:34:56","modified_gmt":"2014-09-01T15:34:56","slug":"happy-monday-yer-labor-day-funnies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=54904","title":{"rendered":"Happy Monday: Yer Labor Day Funnies"},"content":{"rendered":"

In honor of the holiday, I thought I\u2019d post a few employment-related jokes from the road.\u00a0 These were shamelessly cribbed from the book 777 Great Clean Jokes<\/span>, by Jennifer Hahn. (Recommended, particularly if you need an occasional source of jokes for mixed\/polite company.) Enjoy.<\/p>\n

Bakers work hard \u2013 they knead the dough.<\/em><\/p>\n

How various occupations describe business climate:<\/em><\/address>\n
Tailor: \u201cSo-so.\u201d<\/em>
\nElectrician: \u201cPretty light.\u201d<\/em>
\nAuthor: \u201cAll right.\u201d<\/em>
\nFarmer: \u201cGrowing.\u201d<\/em>
\nAstronomer: \u201cLooking up!\u201d<\/em>
\nElevator operator: \u201cHas its ups and downs.\u201d<\/em>
\nTrash collector: \u201cPicking up.\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n<\/p>\n

One day I want to work in a watch factory. Then I can get paid for sitting around all day making faces.<\/em><\/p>\n

Farmer1:\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cQuite a storm last night.\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n
Farmer2: \u201cAyah.\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n
Farmer1: \u201cAny damage?\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n
Farmer2: \u201cDunno fer sure. Ain\u2019t found my barn yet.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/address>\n
Employee: \u201cWhy can\u2019t I have a raise? I\u2019ve worked here for 20 years and never asked for one!\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n
Employer: \u201cWhy do you think you\u2019ve worked here for 20 years?\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n<\/p>\n

A small businessman has two competitors on either side of his business. One puts up a sign that says, \u201cGreat deals!\u201d The other puts up a sign that says, \u201cLowest prices.\u201d After thinking for a few minutes, the small businessman puts up a sign of his own over his door, bigger than either of his competitors\u2019 signs: \u201cMain entrance\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sign on first barbershop: \u201c$7 haircuts.\u201d Sign on barbershop across the street: \u201cWe repair $7 haircuts.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Electricians are the world\u2019s best informed people. They always keep up with current events.<\/em><\/p>\n

Astronauts find their job a blast.<\/em><\/p>\n

How did the chemist invent mosquito repellant? She started from scratch.<\/em><\/p>\n

Carpenters have an odd occupational hazard: bad teeth. Comes from chewing their nails.<\/em><\/p>\n

And, finally, since TAH is a milblog:<\/p>\n

After World War II, a young vet is interviewing for a job.<\/address>\n
Interviewer: \u201cLast employer?\u201d<\/address>\n
Vet: \u201cUS Army.\u201d<\/address>\n
Interviewer: \u201cLength of employment?\u201d<\/address>\n
Vet: \u201cThree years, 11 months.\u201d<\/address>\n
Interviewer: \u201cLast position?\u201d<\/address>\n
Vet: \u201cSupply officer.\u201d<\/address>\n
Interviewer: \u201cReason for termination?\u201d<\/address>\n
Vet: (thinks for a moment) \u201cWe . . . won.\u201d<\/address>\n<\/p>\n

A very Happy Labor Day to all our TAH readers.\u00a0 And for any current or former Army Aviators out there:\u00a0 Mother Rucker sends her regards.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In honor of the holiday, I thought I\u2019d post a few employment-related jokes from the road.\u00a0 These were shamelessly cribbed from the book 777 Great Clean Jokes, by Jennifer Hahn. (Recommended, particularly if you need an occasional source of jokes for mixed\/polite company.) Enjoy. Bakers work hard \u2013 they knead the dough. How various occupations […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":623,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,170],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blather","category-who-knows"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4ozh1-ehy","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54904","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/623"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=54904"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54904\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=54904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=54904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=54904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}