People Coughing or Sneezing? Maybe That’s Not the Only Thing You Should Worry About!

| April 12, 2020

During the current 2019 Wuhan Coronavirus pandemic, it’s common sense to try and stay away from people who are coughing or sneezing. You also need to keep your hands scrupulously clean.

But perhaps being around people coughing and/or sneezing aren’t the only situations you should avoid.

Get a load of this:

The deadly coronavirus bug could be spreading across the globe through farts, according to doctors.

Tests carried out earlier this year have shown that the virus was present in the faeces of more than half of patients with Covid-19.

And doctors have previously warned farts contain tiny poo particles that can spread bacteria.

They said more research needed to be done to rule out passing the disease on to people through omitting (sic) bodily gasses.

Seriously? Yes, seriously. But I wouldn’t be terribly alarmed.

First: pants apparently are a fairly effective barrier to the particles potentially carrying the virus. And second, according to the article apparently someone else is only at risk “if they took a close sniff at the gas”.

Predictably, those raising the alarm here say that “more research” is needed to determine the magnitude of the threat. Anyone surprised?

This really isn’t much to worry about IMO. If someone “cuts the cheese”, as long as they’re dressed normally and you’re not within a few centimeters of their flatus vent you’re probably OK.

But if you see someone wandering around without any pants and exhibiting “nonstop excessive flatulence”, well, maybe you should go elsewhere. I’m kinda guessing most people would do that anyway without being told it’s a good idea.

And whatever you do, make sure you’re a “smart feller” and not a . . . well, never mind. (smile)

Category: COVID-19, Humor, WTF?, YGBSM!!

36 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
5th/77th FA

Hondo, surely you are not just gassing us are you? It may be an omission if you don’t blame an emission of virus particles of bat crap for starting all of this? After all, a video started a riot that killed Americans in Libya, why can’t we place blame for the spread of this parasite on flatulence? It could also be caused by people that are full of crap.

Could someone who is full of crap and possibly a fart smeller be at double risk? Asking for larsie boi…and SteelyI.

UpNorth

“More research is needed” means give us a million dollar grant.

OWB

Yep. Lots and lots and lots of research possibilities out there. A few might even be meaningful. The rest are full of something else.

USAFRetired

Pull my finger!

26Limabeans

Heh, so you really can get it from a toilet seat.

The Other Whitey

Only if you lick it, like a depressingly-long list of retards on the internet.

Anonymous

Of which several have deserving caught the virus– play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

HMCS(FMF) ret

You gotta wash your ass!

thebesig

With lots of articles pointing to sneezing and coughing, they appear to ignore another way that this is spread. I’m looking at generating an article covering that aspect of virus spread.

Anonymous

Sexually-transmitted? PreP don’t cover that for dudes doin’ multiple strangers down at the bus station mensroom’s gloryhole.

The Other Whitey

And how much money was spent on this discovery? How much money was invested in this study of ass gas? How did somebody say to somebody in charge “Hey, when someone rips ass, I want to study it!” and that guy in charge say “Yes, great idea! Here’s some funding!”? How in the ever-loving fuck on God’s green earth did that take place?

Comm Center Rat

YGBSM!!

timactual

So “silent but deadly” isn’t just a joke.

SgtM

We must get to the bottom of this.

26Limabeans

Before we take it in the shorts.

STSC(SW/SS)

Or the shit will hit the fan.

Mason

Once again, AOC was right. She was sounding the alarm on the dangers of flatulence long before this virus.

AW1Ed

rgr769

I’m afraid a few of our fave progtard commenters may be at risk. Plus, there are some POSers working behind the dumpsters at truck stops who are at extreme high risk from this mode of infection. Also, those Antifa circle jerks in Berzerkeley would be at risk.

Inbred Redneck

Damn, I’m too late. All the good lines have already been used.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

Here I sit broken hearted, came to shit but only farted. They can be lighted with a bic. Two of my friends used to sit on the hose 1 clubhouse couch and used a Bic to lite up the gas that came through the jeans. Learned it at Slippery Rock College.

11B-Mailclerk

“I fart in your general direction!”

is now felony-level battery.

26Limabeans

Global warming crime.

https://youtu.be/48QuBPL8dPg?t=28

5th/77th FA

Just slightly OT, but within a CZ of the flagpole. Article on what we have discussed on how the ‘Rona Virus is blamed for all deaths and a coroner fighting the hospital’s findings.

https://www.macon.com/news/coronavirus/article241947606.html?fbclid=IwAR1ZE3s4w5MK1NELP7jUBEXdK_B3N0PInQ3VLWJabK-0rTfi8DJ_wSoliKs

Devtun

‘Ooooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell’

– Lynyrd Skynyrd –

OAE CPO USN Ret

The toy known as the Airzooka has been used to launch farts before. Who knew that it could be considered a weapon of mass destruction now.

Relevant link about Airzooka farts here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Military/comments/9znj27/fartzooka/

A Proud Infidel®™️

I’m a-gonna call bullshit on it because a few Virologists have said that the viral particles or virons are destroyed by stomach acids .

26Limabeans

I think you are correct. Even my mildest
farts have been known to peel wallpaper.

A Proud Infidel®™

I’ve cut a few that that my Buddies said could eat through cinderblock!

Daisy Cutter

This doesn’t apply to those of us that have N95 rated pants.

Anonymous

If you can smell farts with your pro mask on, it needs the filter changed.

Keepin' It Real

Silent but deadly.

26Limabeans

By the time you smell it…it’s too late.