Well, I’m Back Until Next Wednesday… or something

| February 13, 2020

Interim Report from the Poopdeck. No, I do not know why it was called the poop deck, or why a water fountain is a scuttlebutt, or a bathroom is a head, but the Navy has it’s very own special language, probably to confuse the Barbary Pirates. Even the Marines have their own special language!

I find this particular FHCC to be a very good place to go to if you’re nearby and need real help. Alert staff, docs answered all my stupid, uninformed “what did I do?” questions, patient as all get out and personable people. I would go there in a heartbeat.  It’s directly connected to NS Great Lakes, population large, including recruits.

 There is a gallery of some real MOH recipients from WWII up to Recent Times (e.g., VN in-country) with their bios on the walls going to the Family Practice/Womens’ Health departments. I will copy their names down next time I go, and forward them to our editors and ninjas so that their stories can get out to our audience.

 Additionally, but certainly not least important, I am officially an airhead because not getting on the net meant no pin codes/passwords in use and they all leaked out of my head. That proves that truth of ‘use it or lose it”. I am also a butthead about being sick and confined, period. Stubborn as a Missouri mule. But if I have to go for another stay (and there is at least one more planned, possibly more), I am allowed to bring the laptop along. I did finally figure out how to crank up FHCC’s internet connection, but the screens are up on the wall and the type is too small at that distance to be legible (to me, the nearsighted Rear Admiral) so the laptop may accompany me as a fully-charged guest when I have another “overnight” stay, which is planned for next month. And yes, I will take my phone charger cord along! Theirs at the charging stations (nice freebie!) are the wrong size for my antique phone.

Punkin now has her very own kibble dispenser and water dispenser (no cost to orphaned cats) and she hates my boots because she is quite sure they are responsible for my disappearance. She’s sensitive! Those boots took me away from her for a week! They have to be Bad, Bad Boots, right?  Cats are very logical critters. Has to be the fault of The Boots. ? She was in the bathroom staring at them last night, and muttering until I said “Sleepy time!”

On Sunday, a couple of volunteers brought me cards and a pretty red rose in a vase. Couldn’t figure out how to transport the rose in the freezing cold, so it was reluctantly left behind, sitting on the window sill.

Best part is, I had so many blood draws I look like I’ve been mainlining chocolate ice cream.  I don’t know if I should reveal that I pulled off the classic “tossed my lunch” in Radiology, but that’s what happened. I gave the radiologist ‘that look” and said “I think I’m going to toss my cookies.” He gave me a deep bin and reported me.  Also, I have to keep a scorecard on the pills I’ve been ordered to take in order to keep track. Nothing related to cancer or cardiac, just a puzzler that has them scratching their heads. All gastric and I have an ulcer the size of a trout (or a bluegill) lurking well past the stomach’s domain. No food restrictions, so I will return to mainlining chocolate ice cream and cheeseburgers and Polish sausages on a poppyseed bun with mustard, relish, pickles and chopped onions. I was told fish is good for this, so I’m going to try to find the Friday Lunch Ladies (6th grade) salmon casserole. 

Yesterday before my PCP appointment, I met a man with a really sweet female German Shepherd service dog-in-training, a rescue dog from the Florida hurricane. I hope I see them again next time and will try to get the full story, as in how he got started on that and what you have to know to do that.

Everybody at the FHCC was professional, really truly nice, explained a lot of things, did not think I asked stupid questions or anything else. The food was not too bad for hospital food and with no restrictions, I could have BACON!!! for breakfast. But I have to have Ensure to gain back the 21 pounds I lost to this mess since last fall when I couldn’t pound cheeseburgers down my piehole. Down to my weight as a teen right now: not good, but as I said, no food restrictions of any kind. And Ensure needs to be buried under the flavor of chocolate syrup because it’s kind of “ookie” unless it’s covered. (Thank you, Lawdy!) And the social service gal brought me a Health Care POA to fill out and get witnessed/signed, because the FHCC wants one on file now, which is fine by me. I think it’s a good thing to have in place, too.

Also, if you’ve been in the rack for a week or so, don’t get up at 6AM and hustle on over to Walmart to pick up stuff. Wait until you’ve walked around a bit and your large muscles don’t start dragging on the floor.

And finally, (last bit), the guy who pushed me around here and there and to the front door – er, starboard gangplank – is an Army vet, very good-natured fellow, told me about piloting a fellow down to the Hemo lab, who declared himself to be a “former skipper” and therefore, must have been piloting the USS Minnow, but that Gilligan could have driven the Minnow better. The crew of Corpsmen at the desk there immediately began singing the theme from “Gilligan’s Island”.

I told my helmsman the story about the Navy’s worst Admiral EVER, who crashed more ships than there are cars at a wrecking derby, so the Navy gave him a desk job which took him off the deck to the desk, writing up theory of naval warfare and sundry other technical subjects. I also asked my helmsman if he could decipher my dogtags, and he knew the serial number was OLD – like 50 years OLD! – and when I said I got them in 1967, he gave me a hand salute, which I, as a Rear Admiral (his joke), immediately returned and then he pushed me down the hall – er, passageway – while I hollered “Hard to port! All ahead full! Make a hole! Make a hole! Regular Navy coming through! Let’s kick this pig!” He didn’t know how to pipe someone overboard, but that’s not his fault.

That’s my sea story for this month.

This ain’t over yet, but I got to spook my sister, (brilliant at teaching and counseling undergrad and grad students on career programs and plans, but sometimes has the common sense of a cabbage, but she’s my sis and I love her) and let her know signif stuff without giving away too much.  She will never, ever retire from her job. She had two classes last night plus her regular counseling of career-oriented students at all levels, undergrad to post-grad, and another night class this PM and two on Sunday, and it is probably snowing like a banshee down south of my kingdom. She will probably shut off some day in the middle of a sentence with both hands glued to her lectern, staring into space.

This episode of “Wake Up, Idiot!” was brought to you by Naval Station Great Lakes, and the snowstorm going on outside my windows now.  I will never take chicken soup for granted again. I had borrowed AW1Ed’s recipe for this week’s menu but he’s going to post it and we ALL need hearty soup in this weather. It’s even better than he said it is!

And an enormously large  🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂  🙂  😉 <3 to the entire bunch of you!!!!

If anyone at all has heard from or about Willie, please post it. Just keeping tabs on Those Missing In Action!

Category: "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves", Navy, No Longer Missing, Pointless blather

Comments (78)

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  1. Combat Historian says:

    Great report, Sailor. Keep up with the healing and food intake…

  2. Radioactive G-Spot says:

    Good to have ya back Ex (even if its just for the short term). I hope everything gets figured out for ya sooner rather than later. Sounds like you have a great group working on ya.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I do and it will be. Meantime, I can pig out on pizza and a chocolate/caramel bomb with ice cream on the side.

  3. AW1Ed says:

    The “Poop Deck” is the highest deck on the aft of a vessel, the “roof” to use a Nautically Challenged term, over what is usually the Master’s cabin. The name comes from the French word for stern, la poupe, and from the Latin puppis.

    Now all you slackers turn to, sweepers sweepers man your brooms!

    The first one of you Nautically Challenged TAH’ers that can tell me what a “lazarette” is will get a weekend pass.

  4. Skyjumper says:

    Nice to see you back, Ex-PH2!
    Been wondering how you have been getting along.

    Been kinda calm here at TAH…..neery a thing to or phony to chew on. (grin)

    I’m thinkin’ that 5th/77th FA will give a hand at plumpin’ you up a bit after your weight loss with his culinary skills, if he’s a mind too.

    Road trip, 5th/77th!! 😉

    Again, welcome back.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Good to be back, but I have more trips to take. At least I’ll have a longer-lasting battery next time. I think it’s in March. Waiting to find out.

    • 5th/77th FA says:

      I’m ready Brother. I’ll snag another sack of Dixie Lily Flour, some Crisco, a few pounds of bacon and head on out. Get up an assortment of cheeses and stop by a packing house, I’ll turn right at Cahokia Mounds then head up North to put the word out on the streets.

      Proud that Our Queen of the TAH Lionesses is back home with Miz Punkin Squawkypants. Rest assured MiLady, the only way our love will injure is when we overfeed you and it is we who have the benefit of your Friendship. Faithful til Death.

  5. Frankie Cee says:

    Thanks for the update ExPH2. Did you get your e-mail functioning again? I will send some photos from my “new place” (<<<since Nov.)when I know that you can open it.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Yes, it is up and running. It was my phone that died on me, and the iPhone sized plugs at the charging stations don’t fit my old flip phone USB port. Wrong size. I was, therefore, as incommunicado as if I’d been all out on the Road to Smolensk in 1941.

  6. Eggs says:

    Thanks for the update, I’ll be nice and not ask for the keys to the Sea Chest.

  7. Dave Hardin says:

    Amicitia semper prodest, amor et nocet.

    Semper Fidelis

  8. AW1Ed says:

    MrsAW1 says welcome home and hide the boots! Cats WILL get their revenge.

  9. ninja says:

    We have missed you, Ex-PH2.

    Thank You for keeping us informed of your situation.

    Stay Healthy, Our Friend!

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I am aiming at doing exactly that, ninja!!!

      I told my sister some of the stuff and it was ‘why didn’t you have them call me???’ but with too little info to hand off, I didn’t want to. No info is better than half-baked. Won’t even know until next month what the possible source is.

      I may have some real MOH stuff for you in a week or two, but have to time it with my next trip, and will send to AW1Ed to pass to you.

  10. nobunny says:

    Ex, we call our shoes/boots “leaving paws” – the appearance of them earns round eyed anxious stares and stealthy door blocking maneuvers. Socks and house shoes are just normal paws.

    And as Steve King puts it, Ensure is nothing but chilled snot.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Ensure? That’s why you mix it with ice cream and add layers of whipped cream with a trickle of chocolate sauce and a cherry on top.

      I will be getting the powder, not the liquid, but the liquid smells okay until you get a mouthful and you wonder who sent you coal dust and sock sweat as a medicinal drink.

  11. Mick says:

    Good to have you back in the fight, Ex-PH2!

    Posers in the open; you’re cleared hot! Bring it!

    Semper Fidelis

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      I’m on it!

      Battle stations prepped, all weapons on target, fire in sequence – GO–O-O-O-O-O!

      That ought to keep the silly beggars jumping.

  12. Thunderstixx says:

    Here’s the best wishes for your abdominal illness, whatever it is.
    I hope they find out soon and that you are able to maintain your health.My abdominal issues kept me in and out of the VA Milwaukee Hospital for a little over three years.
    That hospital saved my life three times and I am ever so grateful for the staff there that took such good care of me wjhen I reallyu needed it.
    I hope that both you and WW are in good hands and that your medical issues cease to be a problem.
    Take care Ex.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Thank you. I plan to outlive several people.

      I have Wilted Willy on my mind a lot. I hope we get some good news on him soon.

  13. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Good to see you back, Ex… and hoping for a quick recovery from what ails you.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Me, too, because the geese will be returning from their southern holidays in a few weeks and I want to show them some available nesting sites.

  14. David says:

    Is FHCC misspelled? I thought the letters for Correctional Facility went together. Welcome back!

  15. MrBill says:

    Good to have you back. We ne’er-do-wells missed your civilizing influence.

  16. Graybeard says:

    Thanks for the Sit-Rep, Ex!

    As you can tell, we kinda missed you, and are thankful to have you back. I’ll continue to keep you in my prayers.

  17. UpNorth says:

    Welcome back, Ex. Now enjoy some real food.

  18. RGR 4-78 says:

    Welcome Home Ex.

  19. Skippy says:

    I was worried about you, glad that all is well we prayed for you
    Me and the family. Me and hell on two feet our youngest daughter
    Are in Texas helping a friend with a social media and biz account
    Set up I need a vacation after this trip this 4 year old does not travel
    As well as the other daughter does
    If there is anything the Skippy clan can do please yet us know
    Lastly seriously WTH is a poop deck ??? Lol…

  20. OWB says:

    Good. Maybe things can get back to normal now.

  21. Friend says:

    So happy you’re home..

  22. Inbred Redneck says:

    Dear Ex- just droppin’ in for my weekly visit so I’m late to the party. Glad to see you back and ready to flog all evil doers. Hope you get good news real soon.