Bryan Foraker – Phony SEAL

| June 28, 2019

The folks at Military Phony send us their work on Bryan Franklin Foraker who claims he was a Navy SEAL.  Bryan is 52 years old and lives in Jacksonville, Florida but is originally from New Castle, Delaware.

Bryan likes to wear SEAL bling…

Beyond that, he reinforces his SEAL-ness with a few posts…

When talking about a new tattoo, he mentioned another one specific to his unit…

… and this is the tattoo picture that he posted…

Can’t quite make it out but it appears to be a dog with scuba gear on.  That’s usually a Marine Corps thing.

His family was quite surprised by Foraker’s SEAL claim, but Bryan set them straight…

After a few SEALs checked the SEAL-BUD/S database and could not find him listed, Bryan Foraker’s records were ordered through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

Service dates were determined through the DoD Manpower Data Center…

And his military records were requested through the Department of the Navy…

There were no SEAL assignments and no SEAL training in Foraker’s official military records.

Here he is from his time on the USS Saratoga (CV 60)…

There is no SEAL Trident insignia in that photo above.

Not really sure why Bryan decided to adopt a Navy SEAL persona.

In case anybody close to him is still confused – Bryan Foraker was NEVER a US Navy SEAL.

 

 

Category: Fake SEAL, Navy Poser, Phony SEAL

Comments (100)

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  1. Ret_25X says:

    No Bryan, you were not a SEAL.

    You are, however, a moron. A window pane licking, urinal cake eating, lying moron.

  2. Comm Center Rat says:

    Foraker graduated from the 22 week Interior Communications Electrician Class “A” school and logged three years of sea duty earning the SWASM and KLM. An honorable Navy hitch he should have been justifiably proud of. Foraker must be going through a mid-life crisis while trying to impress friends and family with fake SEAL claims. The NDSM brotherhood has taken another hit with his fakery.

    • 26Limabeans says:

      “The NDSM brotherhood”

      If only these posers would recognize the harm they do to us happy few. He earned the coveted award by his mere presence alone but chose to tarnish it.

    • AW1Ed says:

      “Interior Communications Electrician” also known as a “One Wire.”

  3. OldManchu says:

    Why why why why why….

    • 26Limabeans says:

      Should have stuck to the cruise book photo.
      Hell, I don’t have the nerve to serve on a Navy ship. Never did. Never will.

      Be proud of that photo Mr.Bryan Foreskin.
      It says a lot but you just had to shit on it.

  4. Claw says:

    Before the shit gets too deep on this individual who is trying to get a whiff of some strange trim by portraying himself as a SEAL, I have a question that our wet service commenters can maybe help me out with.

    Looking at the DD214, there seems to be a full year cut off his eight year Universal Training Obligation/Reserve time, but the DD214 doesn’t reflect that he may have spent that year in, perhaps, the Delayed Entry Program.

    Simple math error? Or something more sinister? Any help would be appreciated.

    • Hondo says:

      I’d guess a typo or math/other error on the part of the individual preparing the DD214. Any type of less-than-honorable discharge would have almost certainly gotten him tossed from the USNR as well. And I seem to remember that an OTH, BCD, and DD all come with reductions to E-1 as “standard equipment”.

      Oh, and for being a LSoS, including bald-faced lying about your military record to your family: forak you, Bryan.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      I agree – Foraker either wants to get a whiff of some strange trim or wants to play stink finger.

  5. Jay says:

    Ya know, there’s something ENLIGHTENING about logging on here first thing on Friday morning and seeing a sock sniffing, meat gazing, SEAL poser to start your day.

    It makes the rest of the day just a little bit….better. Thank you for that Bryan FUCKER, I mean Foraker. Enjoy your infamy.

  6. 5th/77th FA says:

    Had a heads up on this lying, embellishing POS Bryan Franklin Foraker, NOT A SEAL, from MP FIRST thing this morning. Left the boi a little love over there to give him a heads up on his soon to be Google Fame. One reason why I’m running behind.

    I am in need of some clarification from either ChipNASA or TAH Admin. What are the parameters that determine the deployment of either the Hemisphere of Insults, The Alphabet Assault, or The Tower of Taunts…or all of the above. Whichever is most appropriate I will be the FIRST to call for a deployment of any and or all, and/or, at the very least, the massive piling on of comments in reference to this POS bringing shame upon himself and his family for his lies.

    Can I get a SECOND and an AYE?

    Another seal…sigh…from Florida…sigh!

    • Hondo says:

      I’ll second that – though I’ll leave the choice of which to others. Bald-faced lying to your own family about a nonexistent military “high-speed, low drag” past is pretty damn low.

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      DO IT, BAYBEE!!!!

    • 26Limabeans says:

      You arty types are always itchin for a fire mission.

    • ChipNASA says:

      Well, clarification…
      And this is only my opinion, the Hemisphere of Insults be deployed at any time and the Alphabet Assault was added to the HoI,. That being said, the request for the New TAH Toilet Bowl of Taunts ®™ is for those lessor frauds that in our opinion, don’t rate the majestic HoI. It’s only a day or so old so give The TAH Toilet Bowl of Taunts ®™ a chance to grow.
      I don’t foresee it becoming the 7 page HoI, so it can be used for jerkoffs like Brian Foreskin here.

      All that being said, It’s up to the TAH crew to request and vote and then deploy either of the ordinance of which I am only, the curator.

      • rgr769 says:

        My vote is that Bryan needs to seriously up his POSer game to deserve the HOI. He has no service dog, No POSer vest, no Harley, no Doo-rag and no stories about his times in “The Shit.” His fake SEAL shtick is really weak sauce compared to most of our profiled POSers. He has also apparently deleted most of his SEAL comments and photos from his FakeBook page. So, he doesn’t rate the HOI, so the TB of T looks more apropos.

        • Marlon Brando says:

          Lmao Yea it’s actually weak as fuck. Like you said, dude wore a shirt around and thought that shit was air tight. The best is him trying to tell his family that he was, indeed a SEAL…….

          • Daisy Cutter says:

            The interesting dynamic here is when he tells them something they know isn’t true, then there is a slight hesitation where they think “he’s too far gone” and then usually congratulate him (i.e. humor him).

            He then graduates to being that crazy family member that everyone talks about behind their back.

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        As it has been said and where as it has been written, let this be noted as the record of this deployment request:

        Where as the lying embellishing POS Bryan Franklin Foraker, who had possibly honorable service that he embellished, publically and doubled down to Family is now becoming GOOOOOOOOOGLE Famous;

        Where as this POS is not worthy of the expenditure of keyboard ribbon ink needed to deploy the Hemisphere of Insults;

        Where as the Alphabet of Insults has been incorporated into said Hemisphere of Insults, negating its use as a primary weapon;

        Where as the newly launched Toilet of Taunts is still in the development/testing stage, I, 5th/77th FA representing the Gunners of the Kings of Battle (Aerial, Floating, Towed, Self Propelled and/or Missle delivered Artillery) do hereby formally request a deployment of the Toilet of Taunts upon the person and AO of one (1) lying, embellishing, shame bringing to his family POS, Bryan Franklin Foraker.

        ChipNASA, you are cleared hot for your fire mission immediately upon receipt of a SECOND and an AYE.

        • ChipNASA says:

          STANDING BY!!!

          I’m certain it will bee ready shortly.

        • ChipNASA says:

          I’ve got to hit the road, so, I’m going to overrule the vote because I’m sure it will come later so, I’m posting the TAH TBoT early… not to mention I have at least 1 1/2 votes above….

          How does it feel Brian Foreskin to know that you suck at being a poser so much that you don’t rate my GLORIOUS <Hemisphere of Insults ®™ but like the giant turd you are, you only rate The TAH Toilet Bowl of Taunts ®™

          Sucks to be you BOY!!

          To everyone else, have a lovely weekend.

          The TAH Toilet Bowl of Taunts ®™
          You don’t frighten us, pig-dog! —Go and boil your bottom, son of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, Thppppt!
          I don’t want to hear from you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!…… I fart in your general direction! . Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
          go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
          Fetchez la vache!
          You have the brain of a duck
          I unclog my nose in your direction, son of a window-dresser
          You are a bedwetting type. I burst my pimples at you and you are a tiny-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms.
          We should make castanets out of your testicles
          You are an illegitimate faced buggerfolk
          If I was gonna break your balls, I’d tell ya to go home and get your shine box. So, GO HOME AND GET YOUR FUCKING SHINE BOX!
          You are a liar, a looter and a pillager, and nothing but verminous, lying, scum
          You are also a Jittery jizz junkie

          • 5th/77th FA says:

            Take that you waster of oxygen, Bryan Franklin Foraker.

            All Hail The Toilet Bowl of Taunts!

  7. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    NOW HEAR THIS!!!
    NOW HEAR THIS!!!

    BRIAN FORAKER PERFORMED FELLATIO ON A PINNAPED!
    BRIAN FORAKER PERFORMED FELLATIO ON A PINNAPED!

    THAT IS ALL!!!

    • David says:

      Wtf is a pinnaped?

    • ChipNASA says:

      I have no added the following….
      ” this freak fancies himself performing fellatio on a variety of pinnapeds” to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

      • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

        Awesome!!!

        • Former EM1/SS says:

          Wow. Two additions to the monumental list in a single thread. It is going to be the Planet of Insults in no time.

          • ChipNASA says:

            I”m pondering this, after Hemisphere, would we go with asteroid? I only ask because jumping to Planet, vs. planitoid/asteroid, makes me think there’s somethign in between half an earth and an entire planet.
            I also think a “ASSteroid” of Insults would just amuse my inner 10 year old.

            • Former EM1/SS says:

              I guess we’ll have to ask Neil DeGrasse Tyson his opinion on the upscale. (Always ask an ASS about an ASS, right?)

              • The Stranger says:

                Man,
                Fuck that guy. Fucker demoted Pluto. Don’t get me started on that cocksucker. My wife basically just rolls her eyes when she hears his name and I’m around because I go off on an epic rant. Did I mention that I hate that fucker?

            • Ex-PH2 says:

              Well, Deimos and Phobos are the two moons of Mars, which are captives from the asteroid belt. They’re big enough to cause some damage on Earth, bigger than the Chelyabinsk meteor, so you can take your pick between large meteor or small asteroid. Same difference.

              • The Stranger says:

                Ceres would be more appropriate, it was actually considered for inclusion as a planet way back when because it is spherical and looks like a small moon. Phobos and Deimos are just some fucked up looking rocks, as befitting two captured asteroids as you mentioned. Anyway, perhaps the “Planetoid of Insults” since I’m still pissed at that Neil The Grassy Ass motherfucker about the demotion of Pluto. Man, fuck that guy! Hell, I am all for deploying the Planetoid of Insults on that Neil The Grassy Ass bastard. Did I mention that I hate that guy?

                • Ex-PH2 says:

                  Somewhere in there, you mentioned it.

                  You’ll be pleased to know, however, that De Grasse’s self-serving PR gig on that score was been revoked, since last year, and Pluto is once again a planet.

                  https://phys.org/news/2018-09-pluto-reclassified-planet.html

                  Titan, Saturn’s biggest “moon”, is also considered to be a planet as is JUpiter’s satellite Europa, and both have been called ‘planets’ historically.

                  De Grasse’s ass is still grass, and you can mow it any time you wish. 🙂

  8. AW1Ed says:

    USS Saratoga, CV-60, home ported in Mayport, FL. Had leak issues and earned the nickname, “Sinkin’ Sixty From Dixie.”

    Jax is definitely a Navy town- pretty ballsey to be sporting fake SEAL bling there.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      “Jax is definitely a Navy town”

      This could be the clue. It may be a case of one-upmanship.

      Sort of like going to prison. You don’t want to say you are in for shoplifting a few slim jims at the local 7-11. No, you say that you’re in for murder one so you can get instant street cred.

      Same with the Veteran org and biker clubs down in Florida – you were either a sniper or SEAL or Recon and have a Bronze Star and Purple Heart.

  9. SSG Christopher Whitaker says:

    I continue to fail to understand WHY these Stolen Valor morons always claim to be something so easily verified! Pretty sure the SOC community keeps track of these things, yet every idiot claims to be a Ranger, or Green Beret, or SEAL, or whatever… I just don’t get it…

    • 26Limabeans says:

      Yet the “Wall” is engraved with Cooks, Clerks and other not so glamorous duty.
      We all know someone.

    • Martinjmpr says:

      The thing is, many of these fakers have been “rockin’ the lie” for YEARS, in some cases, DECADES.

      So, yeah, you’d THINK it would be easy to bust these guys – but the fact that they persist for years just shows that most people simply take them at their word.

    • rgr769 says:

      Yes, all three qualifications schools have records of everyone who attended and graduated these schools. For the more recent POSers, they can run a computer search of their student databases and tell within minutes whether someone is a phony.

  10. John Seabee says:

    COCKSUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Ex-PH2 says:

    Question that deserves an answer: Why is it that so many of these guys pose and look like they’re holding their junk?

    Maybe AW1Ed can answer this one: were striker’s badges handed out at the end of RTC in the 1990s, as they were in the 1970s? Only asking because he has what appears to be a striker’s badge over his rating strips in that cruise book photo. I know he got “A” school for IC, that’s why I’m asking.

    He only managed to make 3rd class in those 3++ years of AD? That’s it? SLACKER!!!!!!

    • AW1Ed says:

      Sorry, no can help. Most of the youngsters who came into the squadron were already AWANs (AW Airman, or E-3s) simply due to the length of the training pipeline*. They came along with the rating insignia. If one could refrain from any dick-steppery, an Airman with rating insignia was a given. They usually made AW3 (Petty Officer Third Class, or E-4) first try, too.

      *On the ‘O’ side, we seldom saw an Ensign for the same reason. They were LTJGs by the time they got to the squadron.

    • Peter the Bubblehead says:

      I graduated great Lakes in March 1995. We were given what I assume you refer to as a Striker’s Bade but we weren’t allowed to actually affix it to our uniform.
      I added my E-2 stripes (I entered the Navy as an E-2) upon reaching SUBSCOL in Groton. I added my Rate above the two slashes as soon as I finished the Basic “A” school that designated me an ET. A short time later I added the third white slash and reported to my first boat in December of that year as an ETSN/su.
      If I remember correctly, IC rate was not a push-button 3rd class rate either. (IC was being melded into ET in the submarine community right when i was going through the pipeline.)

      • Ex-PH2 says:

        Okay, thanks to both of you.

        I was only asking because if you qualified for “A” school in 1967, you got the striker’s badge to sew on over the E-3 stripes, and came out of RTC as an E-3. Graduating from “A” School back then guaranteed PO3 (E-4). I took the PH2/MI test and passed it but had to wait for time in rate in 1969 and extend my enlistment to make PH2.

      • NHSparky says:

        Nukes weren’t allowed to have rating devices until they completed A school because, well, they hadn’t completed A school.

        But we were pushbutton E-4s, which was nice. You get a few hard chargers who did PARS and MRPO 3&2 while they were in A school, who would typically be able to take PO2 exam after A school.

        Not at all uncommon to see PO2 students in Orlando with 12-18 months in.

  12. Stuart Povick says:

    Hey I was on the Sara same timeframe …. where is my free SEAL T-shirt ?

  13. USAF RET says:

    Funny that his uncle calls bullshit, but he still rocks the lie to his cousin. What a tool.

  14. Roh-Dog says:

    This clown has that keyboard-warrior, spends-more-each-month-on-booze-than food look.
    Greasy dumb looking sumb**ch.

    • Ret_25X says:

      well, he has to drink a lot of booze to get the hobo ass taste out of his mouth after his shift behind the dumpster at the greyhound station…

  15. David says:

    Wtf is a pinnaped?

  16. Eden says:

    ANOTHER fake SEAL? MAKE IT STOP!!!!

    • The Stranger says:

      Here’s a song that sums it up best:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_EbMXh1dtM

      Now, in all fairness, this was Doug Sahm writing a song about what he saw as the ruination of country music by artists such as Garth Brooks and Billy Ray Cyrus, but it definitely sums up how most of us feel about these fake SEALs and other assorted phonies. Enjoy!

  17. Mick says:

    “Can’t quite make it out but it appears to be a dog with scuba gear on. That’s usually a Marine Corps thing.”

    Maybe he thought that he was a phony Force Recon Marine for a while, and then changed his mind and went with the phony SEAL routine instead.

    After all, it is much easier to find good phony SEAL bling than it is to find passable phony Force Recon accoutrements.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      It may be an interesting conversation at the tattoo parlor.

      “I’d like a SEAL trident, please.”

      “Uh, I don’t know how to do that well. Last one I did looked like a melted pile of gold. I do Marine RECON well, though.”

      “OK, six of one, half a dozen of the other. Let’s go with Marine RECON.”

  18. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Bryan Franklin Foraker WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
    Bryan Franklin Foraker DId seve honorably in the USN and ETS’ed as an E4.
    Bryan Franklin Foraker fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service
    Bryan Franklin Foraker looks smiles like an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
    Bryan Franklin Foraker was awarded the NDSM.
    Bryan Franklin Foraker would not have threads like this about him if he had not LIED about being a USN SEAL.
    Bryan Franklin Foraker flashes the “Devil’s head” and middle finger signs like a wannabe Metalhead or Biker.
    Bryan Franklin Foraker looks about as dangerous as a hamster.
    Bryan Franklin Foraker DID serve aboard the USS Saratoga.
    Bryan Franklin Foraker dresses like either a hipster or yuppie wannabe.
    Bryan Franklin Forakerwill now wallow in The Power of Google®™ with his lies being exposed for all to see.

    ((((OVER))))

    • Sarge says:

      Sorry API®™,

      Did you say the following?

      Bryan Franklin Foraker WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker DId seve honorably in the USN and ETS’ed as an E4.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service
      Bryan Franklin Foraker looks smiles like an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
      Bryan Franklin Foraker was awarded the NDSM.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker would not have threads like this about him if he had not LIED about being a USN SEAL.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker flashes the “Devil’s head” and middle finger signs like a wannabe Metalhead or Biker.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker looks about as dangerous as a hamster.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker DID serve aboard the USS Saratoga.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker dresses like either a hipster or yuppie wannabe.
      Bryan Franklin Forakerwill now wallow in The Power of Google®™ with his lies being exposed for all to see.

      It’s only 0700 here in Pineapple Land and I am still nursing the first pot of coffee.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      Correct Sarge, I say again:

      Bryan Franklin Foraker WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker DId seve honorably in the USN and ETS’ed as an E4.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service
      Bryan Franklin Foraker looks smiles like an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
      Bryan Franklin Foraker was awarded the NDSM.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker would not have threads like this about him if he had not LIED about being a USN SEAL.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker flashes the “Devil’s head” and middle finger signs like a wannabe Metalhead or Biker.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker looks about as dangerous as a hamster.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker DID serve aboard the USS Saratoga.
      Bryan Franklin Foraker dresses like either a hipster or yuppie wannabe.
      Bryan Franklin Forakerwill now wallow in The Power of Google®™ with his lies being exposed for all to see.

      ((((OVER))))

      • ChipNASA says:

        OK I chuckled at this and it’s being added to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

        ” fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service “

      • Sarge says:

        Roger that! I correctly copy:

        Bryan Franklin Foraker WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker did serve honorably in the USN and ETS’ed as an E4.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service
        Bryan Franklin Foraker looks smiles like an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
        Bryan Franklin Foraker was awarded the NDSM.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker would not have threads like this about him if he had not LIED about being a USN SEAL.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker flashes the “Devil’s head” and middle finger signs like a wannabe Metalhead or Biker.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker looks about as dangerous as a hamster.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker DID serve aboard the USS Saratoga.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker dresses like either a hipster or yuppie wannabe.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker will now wallow in The Power of Google®™ with his lies being exposed for all to see.
        I also thought I heard:
        Bryan Franklin Foraker found a seal on a ziplock bag.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker lied about his military service and served as an E-4.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker makes Chihuahuas look honorable when his lies are compared to them.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker breaks the seals on his lips when he thinks about Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
        Bryan Franklin Foraker could not seal the seam on a leaky faucet.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker quivers in fear at the sight of hamsters.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker embarrassed his fellow crewmembers aboard the USS Saratoga.
        Bryan Franklin Foraker’s lies are exposed and GooglePower®™ will haunt him for the rest of his life.

        Sarge

        • The Stranger says:

          (((REPEAT)))

          Waiting for the King of Battle to jump in!

          • 5th/77th FA says:

            Pappy, where you been? Your red-legged chil’runs been a missing you. You promised to build us a slip n slide…and a teeter-totter…and a back yard fort…and take us out for cold beer infused ice cream cones.

            Firebase Magnolia copies and re-transmits in the clear.

            Bryan Franklin Foraker WAS NEVER a USN SEAL!
            Bryan Franklin Foraker did serve honorably in the USN and ETS’ed as an E4.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his military service.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker looks smiles like an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
            Bryan Franklin Foraker was awarded the NDSM.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker would not have threads like this about him if he had not LIED about being a USN SEAL.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker flashes the “Devil’s Head” and the middle finger signs like a wannabe Metalhead or Biker.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker looks about as dangerous as a hamster.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker DID serve aboard the USS Saratoga.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker dresses like either a hipster or wannabe yuppie.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker will now wallow in The Power of Google with his lies being exposed for all to see.
            I also thought I heard.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker found a seal on a ziplock bag.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker lied about his military service and served as an E-4.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker makes Chihuahuas look honorable when his lies are compared to them.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker breaks his seal on his lips when he thinks about Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
            Bryan Franklin Foraker could not seal the seam on a leaky faucet.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker quivers in fear at the sight of hamsters.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker embarrassed his fellow crew members aboard the USS Saratoga.
            Bryan Franklin Foraker’s lies are exposed and Google Power will haunt him for the rest of his life.

            How Copy?

            (((OVER)))

            • The Stranger says:

              (((REPEAT)))

            • The Stranger says:

              Beer infused ice cream cones? That’s a new one on me…I’ve left beer in the freezer so long that it turned into a beer-sicle. That was way too easy to drink since it was frosty, almost flavorless, and the alcohol was the only liquid left. Aah, good times!

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          I Copy:

          Bryan Franklin Foraker WAS NEVER a USN SEAL.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker did serve honorably in the USN and ETS’ed as an E4.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service
          Bryan Franklin Foraker looks smiles like an Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
          Bryan Franklin Foraker was awarded the NDSM.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker would not have threads like this about him if he had not LIED about being a USN SEAL.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker flashes the “Devil’s head” and middle finger signs like a wannabe Metalhead or Biker.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker looks about as dangerous as a hamster.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker DID serve aboard the USS Saratoga.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker dresses like either a hipster or yuppie wannabe.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker will now wallow in The Power of Google®™ with his lies being exposed for all to see.
          I also thought I heard:
          Bryan Franklin Foraker found a seal on a ziplock bag.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker lied about his military service and served as an E-4.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker makes Chihuahuas look honorable when his lies are compared to them.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker breaks the seals on his lips when he thinks about Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
          Bryan Franklin Foraker could not seal the seam on a leaky faucet.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker quivers in fear at the sight of hamsters.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker embarrassed his fellow crewmembers aboard the USS Saratoga.
          Bryan Franklin Foraker’s lies are exposed and GooglePower®™ will haunt him for the rest of his life.

          ((((OVER))))

  19. Another one from Florida again and giving the Snipe’s a bad name.

    • AW1Ed says:

      As if Snipes needed the help.

      “Hey Airman Schumuckatelli, head down to Engineering and tell them you need a BT Punch. All our punches won’t fit. Well what the fuck are you waiting on? Go!”

      And so he returns from the depths of the ship, sore but a bit smarter.

      • NHSparky says:

        Give the nub a fish and tell him to go feed the shaft seals.

      • The Stranger says:

        I had an instructor in one of my Army schools who actually served with a guy named Schmuckateli. I’m not even sure about the spelling, but it was pronounced the way we all know it.

      • Anonymous says:

        We’re doing the sensitive items inventory– go in the headshed and find the PRC/E9!

  20. USMCMSgt (Ret) says:

    Bryan Franklin “The Faker from Florida” Foraker…

    Fuck him.

  21. A Terminal Lance Coolie says:

    I feel like his last name is missing a ‘S’. It should be ‘Forsaker’, seeing how he’s forsaken his oath and honor for a few moments of false glory.

  22. Green Thumb says:

    Water Cooler Office Dude: “Man, you gotta hear this, my dad was a SEAL!”

    Random Water Cooler Office Bully: “You dad was a fucking poser turd.”

    Water Cooler Office Dude: “Sniff, I know” Sulks off stage left…

    What a fucking clown. Looking at his shitbird I would guess his kids are somewhat older or at least old enough to know.

    Just another loser shaming his family to get some dick on the side.

  23. The Stranger says:

    Also, this Foraker guy might want to be careful who he shows that bullshit tattoo to. He’s got a 5-point crown, which is the symbol for the Latin Kings street gang and that trident that is overlaying it looks an awful lot like an upward pitch fork, which is the symbol for the Disciples and other “Folks” gangs who are rivals of the Latin Kings. Hell, not only is he a phony SEAL, he’s “false-flagging” two rival street gangs, either of which would happily kill his happy ass. What a pendejo.

  24. Anonymous says:

    52? Does he claim to be ‘Nam vet who’s see “the shit,” too?

  25. Daisy Cutter says:

    No more Facebook page for Bryan.

    If he would have given us a heads up before he scuttled his page, we all could have gathered around while they played taps.