Joe Foti – Fake SEAL, No Silver Star, No Purple Heart, No CAR

| May 14, 2019

The folks at Military Phony sent us their work on Joseph Guy Foti, who claims he retired from the Navy as a Navy SEAL and earned the Silver Star, Bronze Star Medal with “V,” the Purple Heart and a Combat Action Ribbon with a star denoting a second award.

Foti’s Facebook profile says Navy SEAL all over it…

He elaborates on his Facebook photo saying it was from the Gulf of Tonkin during “Operation Enemy Helicopter.”

In a cached version of a LinkedIn profile he has since deleted, he listed three (3) tours of Vietnam and one tour in North Korea…

On Instagram, he confirmed those missions…

On a previous Facebook profile, he listed SEAL Team 2 and had a Purple Heart patch that said “Combat Wounded Veteran”…

Here is the large version of the Purple Heart patch…

Here he wears a Military Order of the Purple Heart cap…

This is significant, because he served as Chapter 366 Commander of the Clifton NJ Military Order of the Purple Heart…

A SEAL at Military Phony checked the SEAL-BUD/S database and determined that Joseph Foti was not listed.  Foti claimed to be retired, so his records were ordered through both DoN and NPRC.

Then through the National Personnel Records Center…

Here is SN Joe Foti from the USS Constellation (CVA 64) 1969-70 WestPac Cruise Book…

 

Joseph Foit’s official military records show that he was in the US Navy for for about two and a half years active duty. He was enlisted and got out as a SN (E-3) vs. the officer LCDR (O-4) that he claimed.

Since he was separated at a Navy Hospital, he was either medically separated or was in the hospital field. Probably the former vs. the latter.

He was in during Vietnam, it appears he was on a ship that was close to Vietnam.

There are no schools or assignments that would support Foti’s claim of being a Navy SEAL.

Joseph Foti’s records do not support his claim of having been awarded a Silver Star, a Bronze Star with “V,” a Purple Heart or a Combat Action Ribbon. These awards put Foti in direct conflict with Stolen Valor laws.

STOLEN VALOR

If any of these claims were used to leverage work or promotions or anything else of value, Foti may be in violation of Stolen Valor laws. State laws may also apply.


 

 

Category: Fake SEAL, Navy, Navy Poser, North Korea, Phony SEAL, Stolen Valor, Stolen Valor Act

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Mason

Piece of shit. Way to take a dump on your perfectly honorable service when most didn’t want to. Jackass.

5th/77th FA

Lying embellishing POS Joseph Foti. You did serve when others didn’t. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, had oughta been proud of that service, but nooooooooooooooo. Had to lie! Do you kiss your wife, children/grandchildren with that lying, full of sh^t mouth? Medical discharge? Yeah maybe from some serious d^ck stepping.

I would be proud to call for the deployment of the Continent of Insults on the lying, embellishing POS Joseph Loti! Can we get an Second and an AYE?

ChipNASA stand by to be cleared HOT! Mick, be ready for a BOOOOOM and a SHAAAAAAACK.

ChipNASA

I knew it. Yep.

We have a request for deployment of the The Continent of Insults®™

Do we have a “Second”?

The Al

Aye

HMCS(FMF) ret

DO IT!

ChipNASA

OK We have an “Aye” and a DO IT! so that should suffice. 1. I reported myself because the comments were swirling and not posting so that’s why there are three of the same thing. Guys, delete the unnecessary repetition. 2. Well Joey Faggotry, your one Superhero Book of Face was removed but now that you’re google famous, you may as well man up and suck it up and apologize. Deleting your social media shit and hiding is going to do you no good now that you’re out there on the Intrawebs. Oh and please, PLEASE come here and sockpuppet or try to defend your asshattery. We haven’t had a good chew toy in months. *NOTICE. I just tried to post the CoI and either the new TAH server restrictions were over loaded or we have passed the critical size limit to no have to upgrade to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ (YAYYYYYY!!!!) I think the later. I’ll now try to have to submit this in three posts and see if that works. And AWAYYY WEEEE GOOOOOOOO!!!! The Hemisphere of Insults®™ (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus) FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!! TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!! THREE PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!! DANGER CLOSE!!!! MOPP LEVEL 4!!! TAKE COVER!!!!! …. Joseph (Jerkoff) Guy (Gay) Foti (Fuckery) …HEY DICKLESS WONDER, We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, NOT a Navy SEAL, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping… Read more »

ChipNASA

Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper,… Read more »

ChipNASA

you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby,Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P.) NOT a Purple Heart recipient, NOT a Navy SEAL,NOT a recipient of the Silver Star , Same NO Bronze Star with “V” device, Yep you guessed it, NOT awarded the Combat Action Ribbon with star to designate second award and Nope, never earned Jump Wings. Did NOT have three tours in Vietnam and No, not one tour in North Korea, not Combat Wounded, also he’s NO secret squirrel covert operations dude, discharged as a SN (E-3) vs. the officer LCDR (O-4), yeah he *IS* a fecal discharge, it’s very possible if any of these claims were used to leverage work or promotions or anything else of value, Harwell may be in violation of Stolen Valor laws. State laws may also apply, did have about 2 and a half years of honorable service BUT YOU JUST SHIT ALL OVER THAT PAL!!, TOTALLY a retarded, soul… Read more »

5th/77th FA

AMEN!!!!!!!! And as POSer bling and soiled step-ins litter the AO we raise a Toast and an All Hail “The Hemisphere of Insults”

Tears of joy streak the faces of gun bunnies on Firebase Magnolia!

Thunderstixx

AMEN !!!

HMCS(FMF) ret

A-FUCKING-MEN!

SFC D

Halleluah plus a loud and thunderous AMEN from D’s Cantina! This happy ritual always brings a tear to my eye.

RGR 4-78

Hell yes!

I have an insult on each continent.

Wonder how many API has now?

A Proud Infidel®™️

I lost count after 40!

RGR 4-78

🙂

26Limabeans

The ground shook across Maine and the lights flickered.

Eddie fielder

Wow knocked that out the park. No universe!!

3/10/MED/b

Always appreciate the Col. Sherman T. Potter reference.

ChipNASA

Good job Google Fucker.
You just fucked yourself 65 ways until Sunday and beyond.
I think a few folks are going to be poking into your background for Law Enforcement purposes.

Your Book of Face claims:

Former County Police Officer at Essex County Police Department
Former Patrol Officer/ Detective at West New York Police Department

Well if these claims are true, maybe we want to see if you used your false military service claims to gain employment, you would them be guilty of Federal Stolen Valor and possibly State laws as well.

Hmmmmmmmmm…..*puts thumb to chin and finger to mouth*…

26Limabeans

Legit Viet of the Nam vet and he has to go full potato phony SEAL.

ChipNASA

The site is being laggy from time to time but I have the CoI set up and prepped. It may be posted tomorrow cause I have to hit the road shortly so no worries. It would just delay the BOOMS

ChipNASA

The site is being laggy from time to time but I have the CoI set up and prepped. It may be posted tomorrow cause I have to hit the road shortly so no worries. It would just delay the BOOMS

ChipNASA

The site is being laggy from time to time but I have the CoI set up and prepped. It may be posted tomorrow cause I have to hit the road shortly so no worries. It would just delay the BOOMS

Daisy Cutter

He’s from Nutley. That’s all you need to know.

Keepin' It Real

What is interesting is that Jonn Lilyea wrote about another sailor that falsely claimed he had a Purple Heart. He also worked for the Military Order of the Purple Heart in… you guessed it… Clifton, NJ.

https://valorguardians.com/?p=65529

https://militaryphony.com/2016/04/29/joseph-stanley-imperato-purple-heart-recipient-from-beirut-1983-blog-of-shame/

I guess these two sailors show that you don’t have to have an actual Purple Heart to rise to great heights in an organization that requires a Purple Heart to join it.

After all that exposure, Joe Imperato is still a high ranking regional commander of some kind for the American Legion. Hmmmmm. Stolen Valor didn’t seem to phase him a bit.

Duane

Minor correction – the Military Order of the Purple Heart is NOT the same as the Purple Heart association. The MOPH used to do claims for vets much like the DAV and VFW, but anyone could join and be a member of that group – nothing else required (they used to be my rep for the VA until they quit doing claims). He’s just a shitbag, pure and simple.

Ex-PH2

In the 1960s (maybe earlier, too) through 1970s, you went through testing in boot camp to qualify for the Navy’s “A” schools. If you qualified, you received a striker’s badge for your designated rate just before graduation. The striker’s badges are no longer handed out.

He does not have a striker’s badge above his E-3 rank patch, therefore, he did not qualify for any school the Navy had to offer, and was in OJT instead. And any “medical” training he might have received was most likely basic first aid, because Hospital Corps “A” School required a qualifying score.

I believe that, at the time, to qualify for BUD/S, you had to be an E-5/PO2 in an applicable rate, in addition to the physical tests. The PH rate included the Combat Cameraman designation.

He was, basically, a deck hand and that’s it. I doubt that, based on his not even getting to PO3/E-4 within 2 years, he even did the correspondence courses for anything. He seems more like someone who drifted through things, looking for something that would “stick”, and didn’t find it until he started puffing himself off as something he was not.

I think he’s an enormous waste of time and energy, but if you guys want to nail him, that’s up to you.

GDContractor

I’m going to go the other way on this one. Given the option of photoshopping his ugly mug on top of someone else’s medal festooned chest, my boy Joey showed true initiative. He apparently got online and ordered himself a flag, a uniform, and 6 pounds of Flair. It’s actually refreshing. Way to go Joey! I, for one, appreciate your hard work!

Martinjmpr

“Operation Enemy Helicopter?” Sounds like something a 6 year old would come up with.

This guy may not have been a SEAL but I think he would fit right into the “VERY SPECIAL FORCES.”

https://politics.theonion.com/clinton-deploys-very-special-forces-to-iraq-1819565019

rgr769

He was/ is clearly qualed as a short bus 🚌 window licker. So he has that going for him. Got to wonder who had the misfortune of dealing with him if he really was a LEO.

HMCS(FMF) ret

“Operation Enemy Helicopter” is Seekrit Code for Man Love Thursdays at Brucies Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).

Daisy Cutter

“Operation Enemy Helicopter” ranks right up there in the annals of history with “Operation Shootie Bangs.”

Did I say “annals?” I meant “anals.”

GDContractor

His Instagram profile is a scream. He claims participation in Vietnam, North Korea, Panama, Grenada, “and other missions remain classified”. He also claims to be retired LEO.

Steve Balm

Do you have the link?

GDContractor

I took a screenshot of it and it’s sitting in Dave’s Facebook Messenger queue.

Try this
https://instagram.com/foti_joe?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=calbk1xmz0a3

Dave Hardin

You could not possibly image what sits in my Queue, disturbing things lurk there.

GDContractor

I’ll have to up my game!

rgr1480

Who’s the lounge-lizard he’s with?

IS2 (SW)

What a fucking assclown.

26Limabeans

That cruise book photo.
What’s with the pretty long hair?
OJT indeed.

Stuart Povick

We all had ” …pretty long hair ” back in the 70 ‘s 🙂

A Proud Infidel®™

Joseph Guy Foti WAS NEVER A USN SEAL.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded The Purple Heart according to records found.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded The Silver Star.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded The Bronze Star.
Joseph Guy Foti NEVER served in North Korea.
Joseph Guy Foti WAS NEVER a USN Officer.
Joseph Guy Foti left the USN as an E3.
Joseph Guy Foti looks like the type who prowls highway rest areas in a windowless van in search of a date where he would be the catcher.
Joseph Guy Foti is another reject Apprentice towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (entrance in Rear).
Joseph Guy Foti looks like he should NOT be left alone around children.
Joseph Guy Foti likely NEVER served in the Gulf of Tonkin.

Joseph Guy Foti can wallow in what he’s done as The Power of Google®™ grows within Joseph Guy Foti because Joseph Guy Foti will soon learn that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

How copy,
((((OVER))))

5th/77th FA

API….Firebase Magnolia Copies your traffic

Joseph Guy Foti WAS NEVER A USN SEAL.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded the Purple Heart according to records found.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded the Silver Star.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded the Bronze Star.
Joseph Guy Foti NEVER served in North Korea.
Joseph Guy Foti WAS NEVER a USN Officer.
Joseph Guy Foti left the USN as an E3.
Joseph Guy Foti looks like the type who prowls highway rest areas in a windowless van in search of a date where he would be the catcher.
Joseph Guy Foti is another reject Apprentice towel Boy at Brucies Bath House (entrance in rear).
Joseph Guy Foti looks like he should NOT be left alone around children.
Joseph Guy Foti likely NEVER served in the Gulf of Tonkin.

Joseph Guy Foti can wallow in what he’s done as the Power of Google grows within Joseph Guy Foti because Joseph Guy Foti will soon learn that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

Relay to next Station on this net.

How copy?
((((OVER))))

A Proud Infidel®™

I say again and please relay:

Joseph Guy Foti WAS NEVER A USN SEAL.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded the Purple Heart according to records found.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded the Silver Star.
Joseph Guy Foti was never awarded the Bronze Star.
Joseph Guy Foti NEVER served in North Korea.
Joseph Guy Foti WAS NEVER a USN Officer.
Joseph Guy Foti left the USN as an E3.
Joseph Guy Foti looks like the type who prowls highway rest areas in a windowless van in search of a date where he would be the catcher.
Joseph Guy Foti is another reject Apprentice towel Boy at Brucies Bath House (entrance in rear).
Joseph Guy Foti looks like he should NOT be left alone around children.
Joseph Guy Foti likely NEVER served in the Gulf of Tonkin.

Joseph Guy Foti can wallow in what he’s done as the Power of Google grows within Joseph Guy Foti because Joseph Guy Foti will soon learn that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

Relay to next Station on this net.

How copy?
((((OVER))))

streetsweeper

What a world class f&^k up you are, Joe Foti. A real champeen. POST would be very interested in his shit. His honorable discharge from POST would be yanked quick like.

RichG

I’m a little pissed right now because this f@$kstick claims he was awarded a Bronze Star, something my friend who served twenty plus years earned by dying in Afghanistan.

Every time I see one of these subhuman bastards claim that medal it makes me want to hunt them down and make them earn it the way a real man did, with Honor and Pride.

Go to Hell Foti, you human sized sack of excrement.

A Proud Infidel®™

I know what you mean, Joseph Guy Foti is claiming a Purple Heart, a Medal awarded to more than one of my Buddies who came home in a Flag-draped coffin, Joseph Guy Foti and his bogus claims make my blood boil!

26Limabeans

Just raised my flag back to the top after being flown half staff for a childhood friend KIA after two weeks in country.
Fifty years ago, 13 May 69 at Tah Ninh.
New flag every year on that day.
He is not forgotten.

Hopefully Google will not forget JOE FOTI.
JOE FOTI phony SEAL

Mike Kozlowski

“Operation ENEMY HELICOPTER”….

My God. That’s beyond amazing.

GDContractor

YES!!

“Seal Team 2 Bravo” is pretty damn good too.

A Proud Infidel®™

Maybe Joseph Guy Foti is a member of MEAL Team 2 Bravo, the second string of Buffet Commandos who come for sloppy scraps at a buffet after the ones like Round Ranger get their fill!

Bubble Soldier

Dropped the team picture in the water (Gulf of Tonkin, he claims) into the Google Image Search thingy. Seems to actually be a photo of Seal Team 6? Surely they were nowhere near existing in 1968.

Martinjmpr

That can’t be a 1968 photo anyway. Note the guy on the right with the H&K MP5: I’m pretty sure the SEALs were not using the MP5 in 1968. My Google-fu shows that the MP5 wasn’t even invented until 1964 and I don’t recall any US forces using it until well into the 1980s.

rgr769

No US forces in the Viet of the Nam had MP5’s. The Swedish K was the only newer foreign sub-gun available to spec ops units. CCN teams had some of them.

Ex-PH2

That is a Navy PR photo shot somewhere near the BUD/S training center. And this old coot is not in that photo.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66 A Gang Snipe

It’s only Tuesday and we got our first phony Seal today. I see he was in G-Div. Did G Div. replace Fox Div.

Jay

Between flag, whites, and medal mouting/festoonery….thats a shit ton of money to spend on dress up time.

RGR 4-78

It looks like he jumped on a military surplus grenade to save his fake buddies from shame.

Sarge

and his book of face just went kaput.

Daisy Cutter

Joe Foti the good fight, but in the end, it turns out that Joe Foti not.

Mike Kozlowski

…Joe Fati the Law and the Law won.

SFC D

Sock puppets! I want sock puppets! Nobody ever wants to play anymore, buncha candy asses!

Morgan Blake

Where’s Daniel Bernath’s Bunghole when you need it?

A Proud Infidel®™

I personally don’t think that Joseph Guy Foti has the balls to even think about launching sockpuppets.

cptsmith2

He can Joe Foti himself.

HMCS(FMF) ret

He Foti’d himself…

Morgan Blake

Turns out he’s a Nutley boy.

You can take the boy out of Nutley, but you can’t take Nutley out of the boy.

Comm Center Rat

Why do these phonies always overdue the medallic fuckery? A Silver Star is never enough so they feel compelled to add a BSM with “V” device and a Purple Heart. Several years ago I attended a wedding and one of the guests was an E-6 Navy SEAL in uniform. He wore several ribbons but none for valor. Perhaps a new SEAL in the teams but my point is this was the first living, breathing SEAL I ever saw in person. Seeing a SEAL with a Trident up close was the highlight of the wedding. There must be hundreds if not thousands of phonies for every man who actually earned the Trident.

OWB

The “Less than ninety days” entry is curious. Would time in hospital, injured, sick, whatever, be noted that way, or could it be confinement?

What does “Overall Military Trait Average” indicate?

HMCS(FMF) ret

Overall Military Trait Average is from his evaluations as a Sailor – overall mark on his annual/semi annual evals.

Hondo

Conjecture: at the time, 90 days might have been the minimum valid rating period. If he transferred to another unit or duty station and didn’t/wouldn’t have 90 days rated time, that kind of entry would make sense.

One of our Naval types, please enlighten if you can.

HMCS(FMF) ret

His command didn’t do an evaluation on him because he was onboard less than 90 days.

Morgan Blake

“I’d like to speak up on behalf of Joe Foti. He almost single-handedly put my kids through college.

Barry Goldstein
Barry’s Army-Navy Store”

JimmyB

Good one Morgan!!!

Peter the Bubblehead

Wow! He was one of them fabled hard-charging 2.5 year Seaman types!

I made E-3 (SN) within 6 months of joining the Navy. I made E-4 (PO3) just 9 months later!

OldManchu

He has a purple bunghole award from poking himself with his unearned trident.

HMCS(FMF) ret

Since the “Phony SEAL” community is a large one, I wonder if he knows Phildo?

Eden

Just found this:

“B-86 JOSEPH FOTI

Joseph Foti, a former County Police Officer with Essex County, represented by Timothy R. Smith, Esq., petitions the Merit System Board for enforcement of its decision, In the Matter of Joseph Foti (MSB, decided September 21, 2005), with respect to the award of back pay, benefits and seniority.

ACTION: The Merit System Board granted $26,047.43 in back pay and $10,625.08 in reimbursement for healthcare premiums. The Board also granted payment for 2005 and prorated 2006 vacation leave.”

Linky: https://www.nj.gov/csc/about/meetings/minutes/060719m.html

Dustoff

And here I was thinking North Korea was “denied area”.
I guess I’ve got a lot to learn.

thebesig

Discharged as a Seaman.

As was mentioned above, honorable service. He’s also sporting Vietnam related awards. That alone would give him plenty of “creds”. No need to add the other stuff.

CCBill
CCBill

Nutley: patriotic and proud.

http://www.nutleysons.com/

T1B

I miss sock puppets…

A Proud Infidel®™️

Ditto that, they make for fun chew toys!

HMC Ret

Dimwit: You served honorably but then screwed yourself for eternity on Google.

Just An Old Dog

Watched “the Hair” dismantle him over the phone on his site.
The guy was a lying unapologetic piece of shit complete with forged documents. Someone from one of the organizations was listening in and after Don finished with him he told the guy he was coming to get his Purple Heart License Plates….

A Proud Infidel®™️

One does not mess with The Hair®™️ sans consequences.