Some phonies updates in pictures and words

| February 12, 2014

Craig sent us this photo that he found of The Round Ranger, William Derek Church for your lunch time viewing pleasure;

Derek Church 4

Kenneth Boyle sent us this DD214 last night and a mobilization letter;

Kenneth Boyle DD214

Kenneth Boyle Mob letter

The MOB letter means nothing, like those 2 mobilization devices on his reserve medal because we know he was mobilized, but never deployed. Here’s the email he sent, if you can decipher it in regards to my questions about the CIB;

i dont have a purple heart, never did, and thats what i have on last records when i left medical it was back in 1991 when they said I got CIB when detached with infantry unit, I always asked the same thing but they said it showed up in report at Fort Knox Ky. I am just trying to be honest here and show you the things I see, When getting back in my records have been screwed up. When getting back in me and the Recruiter had to go through a lot of crap, this is everything I have im standing here at a stand still. I tried to get records straightened out at Fort Knox and the lady working on them said your records are all screwed up and missing, so where do I go from here, Im asking for your help, I have no clue if Fort Knox couldn’t who next. The Purple Heart I know nothing about.

So he knows that he didn’t earn a CIB, but that doesn’t stop him from getting CIB Plates on his truck;

Kenneth Boyle plates

And an “I served in Afghanistan” sticker;

Kenneth Boyle truck

Category: Phony soldiers

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TankBoy

Boyles,

Even a Jarhead can spot the fakery in that mobilization letter. I work with a bunch of vets and my boss is a retired Army 1stSgt, so thanks for the laugh. You and Church should get together and start your own merc outfit; like a short bus Blackwater.

Farflung Wanderer

@51: “Fatwater”-Deployed to protect the world from the evils of eating healthy and exercise…

Brownwolf

William Derek Church’s ribbons are for fighting the steamed prawns at the Chinese buffet, by swallowing them.

Bubba and his anal annihilator are waiting for Kenneth John Boyles, at the county lockup.

JD11b

Yep oddest “Mob Letter” I’ve seen. But then again I am only really familiar NG title 10 Mob orders and Title 32 training/ADOS orders. I am sure the reserves are completely different. They obviously don’t need any sort of accounting codes. travel authorizations etc. And instead of military working dog training they have “K-9 training”
Also weren’t we calling PTs APFU in 04?

I agree on the ACU remarks. First became aware of them when someone posted an Army Times article in spring/summer 04 on the G-3 shop bulletin board at TF Falcon TOC on Bondsteel. I got mine with the rest of my BCT during mob out of Camp Shelby in fall 05 as one the first deploying BCTs to have them. There were plenty of folks still running around theater in 06 with DCUs and the occasional BDU, hard to believe he had them in 04.

Green Thumb

I think we should look at this a different way and AT LEAST give Turd Boy Church some credit for what he did do right.

For example, the white T-shirt.

Just kidding.

Army Medical

The ACU was unveiled in June 2004 but was not fielded to troops until 2005. It is impossible for the report uniform to be ACU’s in August 2004.

That letter is a fake.

ArmyATC

Martinjmpr, You are correct. Soldiers didn’t deploy with the ACUs until mid to late 2005. It was DCUs before that. I was with the 1st Cav at Taji in 2004-2005. The 3ID replaced us in Mar 2005 and they were all wearing DCUs also.

Bobo

Ditto on the ACUs. My time in Iraq in 2005 was in DCUs. I didn’t see ACUs until March or April of 2006 when I was at CGSC and they get them in at clothing sales.

Jonn, any idea if the WV DMV keeps the paperwork that is required for proof to get specialty plates?

Geetwillickers

But…but…you all missed the Random Numbers Of Truthiness (RNOT) at the bottom of the MOB letter!

Plus also… if he deployed for K9 Training, why is it not listed under the Military Education section of the 214? Just curious…

SGT Ted

That letter is bullshit. No where near any Army format used at the time.

ALL the formatting is wrong. If my clerk had typed that up, I’d have to do retraining and a counseling statement.

The ACU wasn’t issued until 2005.

Geetwillickers

Plus also also, I found where he got the cord on his left shoulder: http://www.scoutstuff.org/bsa/uniforms-insignia/accessories/loops/shoulder-cords.html

SGT Ted

@52 “Fatwater”-Deploying to your mom’s basement to protect you from your Freeto’s and cola by consuming your stock and playing COD on your X-Box in ACU-BDU-PT.

Geetwillickers
Farflung Wanderer

@62: I took this off the Fatwater site.

“The Fatwater Physical Entry Exam (PEE) focuses on three things. First, applicants must be inbetween three hundred to four hundred (350-400) pounds. Second, applicants must be able to eat at least twenty (20) hotdogs in under two (2) minutes. If the applicant makes a mistake eating (for example, eating the hot dog sideways or upside-down), he is tapped by the instructor on the field and is allowed five (5) minutes of “Miller Time” to prepare for their next attempt. Finally, applicants must be able to beat a grueling physical course simulated in Call of Duty under two (2) minutes. Should the applicant fail any portion of this entry exam, he shall be sent home by cargo helicopter.

“After completing the PEE, applicants will be admitted into Fatwater as trainees and recite the Fatwater oath: ‘I will serve my fellows with no dignity at all. When I die, bury me deep and wide with a cheeseburger by my side, so I may eat in the afterlife.’ If trainees cannot recite the oath, they will be mocked.”

MrBill

Real Army letterhead would say Department of *The* Army – not Department of Army. At least “Army” was spelled correctly.

NHSparky

Sounds to me like someone got some ‘splainin to do.

Martinjmpr

BTW if he submitted a fake DD214 to get those CIB license plates then he submitted a forged document to an agency of the state in order to derive a benefit from said forgery.

Don’t know what the law is there, but here in CO that is a felony. CRS 18-5-102, paragraphs C, D and E could be applied. C.) would be a stretch, although I would argue that a special license plate could be considered and “other instrument” which affects a “legal right.” D and E are slam dunks. Forgery is a class 5 felony in CO.

There is probably also a federal law which makes it a federal crime to submit a forged federal document to an agency of a state, but I’m not 100% on that.

Bobo

Just noticed that his last name is misspelled (Boyles vice Boyle) on the DD-214. Also, assuming that the 23 years of service is continuous, he should have a star on his NDSM and a silver hourglass device on his AFRM. Asshat.

Faith+1

The shoulder cord looks a lot like an Arnold Air Society shoulder cord for Air Force ROTC. Yes, I was in it. Yes, I was a butter bar our of ROTC which nearly led my E-7 pops disown me because he couldn’t think of anything dumber than a ROTC Lt.

That is until I made Captain.

Let the mocking begin….

MSGRetired

There are no greyed areas on the DD214 photo he provided, final copies have greyed out areas to keep people from forging them. He needs to provide a Copy 4 for review, its easy enough to tape a piece of paper over the SSN .

clamsgotlegs

@59 Geetwillickers

I think he was ordered to K-9 training to learn how to lick his neuticle.

Kenneth John “Neuticle” Boyles

Kenneth John “Neuticle” Boyles

Kenneth John “Neuticle” Boyles

Kenneth John “Neuticle” Boyles

Kenneth John “Neuticle” Boyles

Kenneth John “Neuticle” Boyles

Green Thumb

And Boyles claims 1SG as well?

Hondo

rb325th: the authorized official block is block 22 on that edition of the DD214. It also says “WORKSHEET” vice having a printed name, which is required on the final document along with the authorized official’s signature. There’s no evidence of a signature in that block either – and roughly the left half of the block is visible. I’m not buying any “the signature and typed name are farther to the right” claim, either. I’m guessing that’s a worksheet vice a legit DD214.

Green Thumb

Bernath, Boyles and Church are dominating all the airtime.

Making a case for high-seeding, indeed.

TheCloser

He gave 23 years and his left nut to his country and all he got was E4?

Martinjmpr

@73, Well, isn’t it possible that this is the final DD214 and it was simply signed by “Warrant Officer Rksheet” (WO RKSHEET) who simply forgot to put the space after his rank? 😀

Brownwolf

Police K-9s need to practice on human targets more often. He can volunteer at all the police stations near him without protective gear for a more realistic training environment for the working dogs.

Old Trooper

Ok, I made the mistake of coming back on the site and seeing that walking clusterfuck’s picture staring back at me. Then, my blood pressure shot up, again, and now I’m pissed off, again. I cannot stand to see that mental midget standing there with that beret facing the wrong way and that cocked up uniform. Geebus fuck, already!!!

TankBoy

@78

I agree wholeheartedly. William the short bus merc should be on retainer with the drug companies for all the business he must be driving their way. I’m really grooving on his short bus SF buddy. His “orders” he submitted as proof may have just propelled him to the top of bracket. Not to the dizzying heights of a William Derek Church (Google), but way up there none the less. I think clusterfuck may be a little harsh. Walking billboard for pro-choice, maybe.

A Proud Infidel

FUCK me running sideways with a frozen catfish, was that fat waddling fuck on LSD when he put that pathetic excuse of a costume together? I think that a first year JROTC Cadet could do at least ten times better at putting an authentic-looking fake uniform together, that retarded lardball isn’t even trying, and I also see he put his unearned PH on the wrong side again. If I were to see him wearing that in public, I don’t know if I’d be capable of doing anything right there on the spot, because I’d probably be laughing my ass off at him/it right in front of his fatassed face!! But as soon as I regained my composure, I would then be verbally tearing his ass to bits like a PO’ed DS going off on a “Joe” that just called him “Dude”! William Derek Church has licked a LOT of windows in his past, hasn’t he?

A Proud Infidel

@8, Atkron 105, I always thought the Services told time THEIR way, and NO, the Army simply says 0800.
But when civilians say 3:00 PM,
The Army says it’s 1500.
In the Navy, the bells ring X amount of times as soon as some Sailor polishes them, the Chief’s shoes, the Captain’s knob, and paints the boat.
In the Air Farce, Mickey’s big hand is on the twelve, his little hand is on the three.
In the Mariines, it’s *OOG!* *OORAH*, KILL!! *GRUNT!* *GRUNT!* *GRUNT!*

TankBoy

@80, your last line had me going down a few different rabbit holes that would have had me on TAH probation. Funny thoughts though. Here’s a thought, how is this fat piece of shit going to hooters for wings and beer sporting a ranger shirt if he’s unemployed?

NR Pax

I was an Engineer Equipment Operator in the Corps. Can still handle a dozer and my rates are reasonable. So if you need help in digging that hole let me know, you faker.

thebesig

William Dereck Church, Chef Boyardee called, he wants his chef hat back! 😀

Sparks

@81 Proud, my man you out did yourself. ROTFLMAO! Especially the Chair Force one!

Mr Wolf

The way Church keeps showing up, he’s gonna qualify for a one-man tournament…

A Proud Infidel

@82, I assume he either cashed enough food stamps, he does it at the first of the month when SSI and welfare checks go out, or he leaches the money off his parents!!

OIF '06-'07-'08

I am still trying to figure out why the round ranger puts that beret on the way he does. So I will give William Derek Church a lesson on the proper way to wear the beret.

Step 1. Edge binding ONE inch above eyebrows and straight across the forehead.

Step 2. Center the flash and the stiffener above the LEFT eye(yes William Derek Church, your military left, DUMB ASS).

Step 3. Pull excess material between the top and middle of RIGHT ear(yes William Derek Church, your military right, DUMB ASS).

Step 4. Hair will not extend below the front bottom binding of the beret.

Got William Derek Church, but since you never have earned the right to wear the tan beret, or even the black beret. Just don’t wear the damned things to begin with, DUMB ASS.

RGR 4-78

@79 “”I think clusterfuck may be a little harsh. Walking billboard for pro-choice, maybe.””

Derick the dumpster is a poster child for birth control!

Combat Historian

@88: OIF, the wotund wanger is wearing the beret French Army/Foreign Legion style, with the flash over the right eye. But even then, he’s wearing the beret so sloppily and slovenly that if a French Foreign Legionnaire comes across the fatboy, the legionnaire would first laugh his ass off before bitch-slapping the shitzniz out of our rotund rotisserie boy…

Dennis

Will someone tell me that is not an American Defense Medal Church wearing?

Green Thumb

Is it just me, or does his chin look like a set of balls?

Paul (of the Ballsack) would be proud.

Brownwolf

@92 GT,

His two chin nuts are furry too. 😉

Ex-PH2

Green Thumb, I was just about to say the same thing, except I doubt you’d anyone with something so completely deflated, unless he’s in that transgender thingy and has already been gelded.

What?!?~! They have to have something to use to fashion the middle hole, you know. Do you guys know nothing?

ArmyATC

This fuckwit Boyles can’t help stepping on his dick. Did that fat tub of monkey spunk really think that fake mob order and fraudulent DD-214 would pass muster? The asshat has more air in his head than a bag of soap bubbles.

A Proud Infidel

@90, CH, replace his green shirt with a khaki one, and he’d look like some Banana Republic Military reject, not that he already looks like a fat, slovenly dropout wannabe (*OOP!*. HE IS JUST THAT, ain’t he?)! The cord on his left shoulder looks like something off of some kid’s High School Marching Band uniform, and I bet that’s where he stole it from!!

Combat Historian

@96: An earier poster stated that the cord on fatboy’s left shoulder appears to be from Air Force ROTC; it figures that the fat idiot doesn’t have a fucking clue what he’s doing…

Green Thumb

“Chin Smacky” Church also appears to be at the position of Parade Rest.

Just pointing out qualities.

Green Thumb

Or possibly “At Ease.”

As in: “Ease it me, it’s your money.”

Fast and Fat Jack’s Truck Stop Special!

A Proud Infidel

CH, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out he swiped it off of some kid’s JROTC or HS Marching Band uniform, he’s proven himself to be that species of lowlife!

@98 & 99, are y’all sure he’s not standing at the position of “Parfait Rest”, drooling while watching them make either his next jumbo jelly doughnut or ice cream sundae?