Totally legit

| February 5, 2014

AF doink

I dropped this picture off at our fan page last night, and it seemed rather popular. So while I’m fighting with my internet connection under a sheet of ice (luckily I have a mobile hotspot option on my phone to augment this business), I figured I’d drop it off for you sociopaths who don’t have Facebook accounts.

It might be easier to spot the things that are correct about this uniform than the things that are wrong.

Category: Phony soldiers

Comments (68)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Combat Historian says:

    Totally legit…or something…

  2. A Proud Infidel says:

    If I were to see him dressed like that in front of me, my first thought would be “Witnesses, MUST… resist… urge to immediately THROATPUNCH!!”.

  3. H1 says:

    The intertube gods seem to be angry in this AO as well.
    How the snow can infiltrate the distribution center is beyond me.
    The trucker wallet completes the ensemble.

  4. NHSparky says:

    While it looks like some douchebag kid, even then a little corrective action is in order. SMH.

  5. MCPO NYC USN Ret. says:

    Your correct. Totally legit.

    He had me at “wallet”.

    The over sized wallet holds varoius identification cards from all the branches of the armed forces, including uniformed services, NOAA, USHS, and merchant marines. These cards are readily available on the interweb for purchase.

  6. rb325th says:

    @4, that is no kid. Looks older to me. Probably cruising for a free meal.

  7. Ex-PH2 says:

    Oh, no. He chose the USAF rank badge. OH, he is in truly deeeeeeep doodoo right now. This one is MARKED.


  8. MGySgtRet. says:

    Kill. It. With. Fire.

  9. TL78 says:

    Mother of God. How I wish this dirtbags face was in the photo. The sum of human knowledge is at everyone’s fingertips and yet these people can’t get the uniform anywhere close to presentable.

  10. Hondo says:

    What, you mean that ISN’T an AF combat controller attached to a Army unit who has a PT/footwear profile who just returned from extended time out in the “boonies” and hasn’t yet had time to get a haircut? (smile)

    (Sarcasm, folks – sarcasm. I know damn well no USAF CC would be caught dead looking like that.)

  11. CBSenior says:

    Now that is one monumental BAG of ASS. I did not know the Military was issuing Kevlar Ass protectors. I am not sure his is fitted properly.

  12. Old Tanker says:

    I saw this on your FB post….my first thought was “nice lid on the back of your nugget…and indoors too! Sooper Trooper indeed!”

  13. A Proud Infidel says:

    *deep breath* OK, AT LEAST he/it remembered that the American Flag goes on the right sleeve. But as soon as I could find that clown where there were NO witnesses or cameras,… AAh, turds like that aren’t worth getting arrested over, but I’d ask him something in front of God and everybody like “HEY, which circus did you escape from? YEAH, I’m a Vet, and I know a bogus uniform when I see one. To a Vet like Me, you’re dressed like a clown!! Prove you are the rank you hold, let me see your Military ID, a real one looks like THIS!”, and I’d show him/ it mine.

  14. Nicki says:

    Things that are correct: he’s wearing pants.

  15. Combat Historian says:

    Infidel, the tool is wearing the wrong flag on his right sleeve. The flag patch he wears has star field on the left, designed to be worn on the left sleeve (aka USAF flight suit). The flag worn on the Army ACU right sleeve should have star field on the right, so that the stars are in front when worn. This tool couldn’t even get that correct…

  16. A Proud Infidel says:

    DAMMIT, you’re right! I just got off from a hectic ballbuster of a night shift, and I only glanced at the photo! *Smack self upside the head* Time for another beer and a shower, and it’s bedtime!!

  17. OIF '06-'07-'08 says:


  18. jonp says:

    @15: The Flag is always displayed as if it is moving forward as the USA never retreats. This holds true for uniforms, car stickers etc. If on the right shoulder the stars are forward so the flag looks backwards but if you think of it, it looks like the flag is on the pole blowing backwards as it charges forward.

  19. OWB says:

    Wasn’t going to chime in here, but since specifically asked, will do so against my better judgment.

    So, is he claiming something unearned? Pic tells me nothing except that someone is standing somewhere talking with someone else about something, while observing something else that I cannot identify.

    Did the guy just come off a double shift, dropped his kids off at the base school where the teacher snagged him to come in to look at something? I dunno. Is he at a public place claiming something he did not earn while wearing a uniform his cousin bought at the base second hand store? I dunno.

    Not enough info for me to become incensed.

  20. O-4E says:

    Well…he does have the Air Force gloves right

  21. Pineywoods NCO says:

    Damn it..another douchebag insulting the two branches my family has proudly served in.

    Proud Infidel, would you like to borrow my walking stick to throat punch this bastard??

  22. Sparks says:

    WFH!!! Looks like one of those front zip, one piece hunting outfits. USAF E-9 rank. FLAG IS IN RETREAT YOU DUMB ASS!!! That’s a NEVER! Wallet sticking out. Hat cocked back like who gives a shit AND his hands are in his pockets. When I was in a long, long time ago, hands in the pockets were considered to be as “out of uniform” as those mommy boy shoes he’s sporting.

  23. jd11b says:

    OWB @ 19 I agree that I wished there was more context for the photo. But this guy isn’t just a little wrong. (Who among us in the ACU era hasn’t taken off his fleece to discover missing patches or an inadvertent switch of the US army and nametapes?)
    He is a whole lot wrong. I can forgive the haircut, footwear, cap on indoors, and USAF gloves. But the flag and truckers wallet?
    Just screams poser to me.

  24. Combat Historian says:

    @18: My point exactly, this schmuck is wearing a flag designed for the left sleeve on his right sleeve…

  25. Old Trooper says:

    I agree with #8: Kill it with fire. And quickly!!

  26. Hondo says:

    OWB: I have to agree with jd11b. I’d like more info, but I can’t believe he’s legit based on what I see here.

    This man almost looks as if he’s about to pass out business cards reading “Josip Excrementus, Dealer in Scrap Cloth”. I simply can’t fathom any E9 (or any E5 or above from any service, for that matter) walking around in public with a uniform that FUBAR.

  27. OWB says:

    @ #23, jd11b: No misunderstanding here. Should we discover that this is an actual E-8, USAF, 1 ea, I will lead the charge just because of how he looks. OTOH, I have also seen a bunch of stuff on the flight line that the participants would NEVER display in public. Context is everything.

    And, yeah, we have all shown up with stuff at least off center if not completely out of whack. I once arrived with stripes sewn on a dress shirt AND rank epaulets. A young trooper caught it before I left my office. Easy fix.

  28. MAJMike says:

    @26 — as a former PFC, I wouldn’t/couldn’t befarkel a uniform, any uniform, that badly.

  29. OWB says:

    Hondo, I would not disagree. Odds are that this is a poser. But, I will reserve my venom until we know for sure.

  30. Hondo says:

    OWB: E8 it is. I keep forgetting the USAF put another stripe “up top” for E7 through E9 some years ago.

  31. Jonn Lilyea says:

    Actually, I hope this IS indeed a poser. I’d hate to think that a real SNCO is wandering around amongst the straights dressed like that.

  32. Pam says:

    Sometimes there are just no words 🙁

  33. jd11b says:

    OWB @ 27 I know what you mean. i was just recalling a photo I sent to the folks back home from FOB Sharana and an E-8 buddy of mine took me to task because a water bottle was sticking out of my cargo pocket, and rightly so. I also recall recently reviewing photos for a unit newsletter of SUAS operations in Wyoming where the only good photo of me doing a flight showed my t-shirt untucked and cap askew. Needless to say I did not put that photo in the newsletter.

  34. Green Thumb says:

    Hands in the pockets.

  35. Sparks says:

    Sorry, completely off topic but since I remember it so well.

    50 Years Ago Beatlemania Hits the U.S. February 7, 1964

  36. ChipNASA says:

    Saw this on Stolen Valor…he’s wearing Army uniform with SMSgt Stripes, the wallet crap, tennis shoes, no hair cut and an army cap with no name tape, and wearing a cover indoors, hands in his pockets like he’s beating off, the farked up flag, stripes sewn on crooked, cap tilted up for his sunglasses.. AND HIS GOT-DAMN COLLAR POPPED LIKE SOME FRAT BOY ELVIS
    I’m trying to google “Powering Our World” museum science exhibit display and not really finding anything yet…
    They have over 2,100 comments on Stolen Valor.

    /Retired SMSgt and I couldn’t even TRY to fark up my uniform this bad EVER.

  37. ChipNASA says:

    NAILED IT!!! He was at the Powering Our World exhibit at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History in Fort Worth, Texas.

  38. OWB says:

    Yeah, Hondo. It took some getting used to, but actually makes sense.

    Now, don’t get me started on the debacle about E-3/E-4 ranks. Never did figure out about the SrA, Sgt, et al mess.

  39. OWB says:

    Good find, Chip!

  40. ArmyATC says:

    Holy Christ on a crutch. It’s like these assholes don’t even try anymore. How is it no one confronted that clown? Are there so few veterans around that dickheads like that guy can get away with his asshattery?

    I was at a car dealership recently, looking for a new truck to stow my wheelchair in. The young salesman who greeted me almost immediately started in about his war heroics with the Rangers. I told him my own background, called him a Goddamned liar, then told his manager that I would never buy a vehicle from them if this lying puke was an example of their sales staff. After a profuse apology from the manager, the “Ranger” clown was fired (in front of me). I wonder how many people he had told his lies to before me, thinking no one would test him.

  41. Hondo says:

    OWB: yes, I guess it does now that I think about it a bit.

    Now if you folks in the USAF will just turn those stripes right-side up again . . . . (smile)

  42. Hondo says:

    ChipNASA: I’m getting a different photo at that link now, amigo. Hope you screen-captured or downloaded it – looks like they rotate photos periodically.

  43. Richard says:

    It has been too long for me to get all of the details. I did get the cover indoors and on the back of his head — I was thinking of the DeNozo head-slap on NCIS. I got the flag patch. And the shoes and wallet and his hands in his pockets. And his weight. But I am thinking that rank insignia is Air Force and he is wearing an Army ACU uniform. I thought that the Air Force used ABUs? Is this what happens when you get old?

  44. Hondo says:

    Richard: yeah, that’s somewhat “off” as well. There may be a few cases where a USAF guy/gal would wear ACUs while attached/assigned to an Army combat unit, but they’re pretty rare. You probably wouldn’t see it at a display at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History.

  45. Valkyrie says:

    EX-PH2 – looking at you with that Facebook thing.

  46. ChipNASA says:

    @42 Hondo…I imjur’d it and saved it.

  47. OWB says:

    Perhaps worthy of mention is that what used to be Carswell AFB is near Ft Worth, with a bunch of assorted active, reserve, and NG troops. Should be plenty of folks there to keep such as this in line.

    On the other hand, the ANG and NG are wearing uniforms this week that I simply do not recognize. They all look alike to me, and I prefer to take that as a good thing. 😉

    But, the ANG troops I have seen in the last few weeks locally looked exactly like the Army troopers next to them. They didn’t stand still long enough for me to catch the subtle differences.

  48. Sparks says:

    @46 ChipNASA you da man, but I must be stupid. I cannot see the image you are referring too. Yo, little help here to the guy on pain killers. 😀

  49. Hondo says:

    Sparks: same here. I get an image of a guy or gal wearing what looks like a black and red exercise outfit and a knit cap pointing out something on a computer screen to a little kid.

  50. ChipNASA says:

    Oh guys….yes, that’s a Mom and kid at the Museum but it’s identified as the Exhibit ” Powering Our World exhibit at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History in Fort Worth, Texas.”
    I was trying to identify the backgound of the exhibit in the wall in the AF guy’s photo, not show the guy in it.
    Just to identify the location of the photo above.