Meet Sgt. Major Ronald Mailahn, the youngest Marine SGM

| May 19, 2013

Bumped back up to the top because Mailahn wants us to take it down. He threatened us with a law suit until I sent him our attorney’s email address and now he just wants me to be cool (You used to be cool). Just some background; he’s ALLEGEDLY behind on child support, he ALLEGEDLY stole $12k from his daughter’s Little League Association. He ALLEGEDLY got fired for making $800 worth of phone calls from the fire station where he worked for phone sex – but I’m the reason he can’t find a job.

Lately, every time I try to be a nice guy, I get it stuck right in my ass, so those days have passed and Mailman is a fixture here. I think he started in again because the Stolen Valor Tournament is gearing up this week and he’s shooting for another one seed. But he even failed at winning the tourney last year.

Yeah, that’s Sgt. Major Ronald Mailahn who claims to be the youngest sergeant major in the Marine Corps. He’d have to be with only nine years in the Corps, according to his hash marks on the sleeve. The good folks at POW Network decided that he needed broader exposure so they sent him to us.

They tell us he’s a 43-year-old car salesman who lives in his mother’s basement. He was a fireman until he ran up the firehouse phonebill with more than $800 in telephone calls to phone sex numbers and they fired his horny ass. According to his own profiles, he graduated from high school when he was 20 years old – a real over-achiever.

Did I mention that he was arrested for embezzling over $12,000 from the Barrington New Jersey girls little league association? Well, he did – that over-achiever thing working for him again. his defense in that case? He’s a Marine and he’d never violate his code of ethics and do something like that.

Well except that the NPRC has no record of him ever serving. Ever.

He has a philosophy that the more websites that he posts this information, the more credibility he has. So here’s his information posted on yet another website. let’s see how that philosophy works for him.

Oh, by the way, he just sent the good folks at POW Network an email threatening to…guess what…sue if they don’t remove the information from their website that he himself posted on the internet;

U have my info on your site I want it removed asap I gave no permission to have any of my info pix or anything on your site I would also like to have the name of whoever put my name on there I have the collingswood police dept looking into to who put it up there but I want it removed forthwith

I’m sure that “forthwith” had Chuck and Mary shaking in their shoes. I know it gave me a feeling.

I will keep sending u my request till u do oh and I contacted my lawer if its not down with in 2s hrs I will sue u

If I ever start typing like a twelve-year-old girl, I’d hope that one of you fine people would put me out of my misery.

So, now his “info pix” are posted on yet another website…I wonder what his “lawer” will advise. I’d better call my “lawer” and tell him that there will be one more in the “I’m here to sue TAH” line at the Mineral County Courthouse next Tuesday.

Category: Phony soldiers

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As I read “L’s” comments I got the feeling they have a “feminine feel” to them. They actually look and sound a lot like “Jenny’s” comments. Just my two cents for what it’s worth.


Dear Faker Ronald “Da Rainman” Mailahn,

I feel sorry for you. I mean it. It must be tough when your birth certificate is an apology from the condom making factory. And as for being born on a highway, well that is where most accidents happen I guess. I understand how life is hard when you will never be half the man your mother was. And your childhood! Such agony and pain. We hear that your mother tried to find someone to take care of you, but the Mafia just wouldn’t come down on those prices! And that accident later in life, I mean how many people have their face lit on fire and someone tries to put it out with a fork? Such a sad life…

But seriously, you are never going to win against a group of sarcastic people like this. With all your handicaps if you were twice as smart you would still be borderline mentally challenged. Please, learn from your mistakes. At least a little. Maybe a miniscule amount.

Aw fuck it, at least learn how to spell.

Rob in NH

Shit, I’ve spent about 4 hours reading this thread… This is just awesome! The only one I’ve laughed more about it the mall ninja…

Ron, thank you for all the laughs… But for gods sake, PLEASE LEARN HOW TO TYPE!!!! Your emails and posts caused me to waste a ton of time trying to decifier them that I felt like I should be part of the NSA.

Just once I would like to see a fake NUC…. Just once….


A Proud Infidel

@709, maybe ‘lil Mailboy WAS a car accident, one that happened in a back seat somewhere?


Rob in NH@710, I have to agree with you, that mall ninja thread is the greatest thing ever put on the internet. Thank you, Al Gore.


Ronald Mailahn Jr Sucks to be stupid huh? I mean, you could have just left things be, but know you wanted us all to remember you so you sent harrassing e-mails.
You made your life what it is you ignorant poser. Spewing actual lies about people is a lot different than what has been said about you here you lying sack of shit.


I am late to the game here, but does this POS have a mental deficiency? His posts are garbled and painful to read. And, who the hell is bragging about benching 175 when they weigh 225.


and he still cannot spell. Maybe he should spend the money on an education. Sad little man.


I could really go for a genuine cheesesteak right now. And a pretzel with mustard. It’s not that I miss Philly, just that some things were really good, like going over to the stadium to watch soccer live.


I live right in Center City EX-PH2. I will have a cheese steak in your honor tonight.

Frankly Opinionated

Ronald Mailahn Jr aka “dumber than a box of rocks”, just keeps on wanting to get as famous in Goooooogle as possible. Not only can he not spell, he has no clue of the definition of “famous”. It is “Infamous” you blathering idiot. What a pathetic little boy; living with/off Mom, expecting a new wife to be his support, delusional in his claims, i.e. personal trainer, being fit, able to handle us, what a flippin’ hoot.


Interesting. I’m no lawyer, but it looks to me like those e-mails might constitute repeatedly communicating threats via electronic means across state lines.

That could be legally problematic. Specifically, it looks like it might run afoul of 18 USC 875:

(c) Whoever transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication containing any threat to kidnap any person or any threat to injure the person of another, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.

Might want to archive a copy of those e-mails, Jonn. LE might end up wanting a copy of them.

Make sure you save the e-mail headers when you archive them.


His personal trainer is one of those sock puppets we see so frequently here.


And what does he REALLY bench press, 175 GRAMS?


@710–Aren’t ELT’s “fake nukes?” (Runs and hides…) Kidding, bro! Then again, what do I know, I’m just a silly RO. You know you’re kinda fucked in the head when even other nukes look at ya funny.

if you were twice as smart you would still be borderline mentally challenged

I wouldn’t even give him that much credit. Double zero is, well, you get the idea.

And finally, Ronny, nice to see you never fail to disappoint. I said I expected you to go for the lifetime supply of FAIL that Carol Merrill had behind door number two, and like the ri-tard you are, you ripped that fucker wide open.

Atta boy, Ronny.


I was done with you Ronald McDonald, you fucking clown. Then you had to go on another post and get after Jonn and his problem getting braces for his legs. You are lower than whale shit. You have accomplished nothing in your life and then have the nerve to run your cock holster to those that have. Suck start a pistol little man. Or drive your sorry ass down here to Camp Lejeune and show me what a bad ass your “personal trainer” has made you. The only thing a personal trainer has made you is his bitch.

Keep digging shit stain.


Ronald Mailahn Jr. could very well be the next Ronald McDonald character…. The Turd Burglar


Ronald Mailahn Jr. could very well be the next Ronald McDonald character…. Turd Burglar the oxygen thief

Rob in NH

Ouch NHSparky! That almost hurt. In my defense, I was on the Enterprise, so I actually had to work. Damn boilers sucked down chemicals faster than Gunny Driveway here sucks down his meth.

They had to waterboard me to get me to admit to being a NUC though… I held out as long as I could….


Oh look, Mailman deleted his Twitter post. Go figure.


Yeah, but the Internet never forgets.


Ronald “Ronad” “Gunny Driveway” Mailahn…the Stolen Valor gift that keeps on giving


Like the clap…..


@714- He benches 50 lbs less than he weighs and he’s bragging about it?!

That’s some scary shit there.

Just an Old Dog

Maybe William “Pinhead” Blake felt compassion for his fellow ass-clown and sent his weights and “personal Trainer” up from Oklahoma.


Maybe they can meet up and massage each others moobage (man boobage.)

Okay, I just made myself throw up a little in my mouth with that one.


Ronald Mailahn Jr., you fuck with a real vet in need like Jonn, really! You have no sense of shame whatsoever. Jonn and every vet here is my brother. If you want to jab at someone don’t pick at a vet in need! So, change your Tampon and find someone else to misspell comments to. You are welcome to respond to me you POS turd sniffer. If you do respond please, please use spell check. Your messages look like a 10th grade girl’s. But then again you have a 10th grade girl as your trainer. By the way you can duck and dodge all you want but at the end of the day you are a phoney, posing ass wipe and that will never, ever change or be forgotten. Good luck in your job hunt!


Definitely a subspecies of the previously unclassified lifeform Cacarina cocholsterii c.v., a mutation of the large brown cockroach common to the south Jersey-Philadelphia area and frequently referred to as waterbugs.

When NAVREGMEDCEN was demolished in 2001, they all moved over to the Barrington and Bellmawr areas. They can’t live in Camden. It’s worse than Detroit – no food to eat, not even shoe leather.


@732 Just had coffee out the nose again. LMAO


It seems like it would have to be some unwritten rule of the Universe that he would *have* to be from New Jersey.

It’s a very short drive for me. I could go give his manboobs a purple nurple or something, but there’s not enough hand sanitizer in the world. Is it possible to contract ghonoherpesyphillitis from standing in close proximity to disease-ridden smegma such as this fella?


Put it this way, BK, I wouldn’t come anywhere near Ronny in anything less than double anti-C’s with a wet suit cover and air-fed hood. Think MOPP-4 gear for nukes, and you’ll have an idea of what I mean.


Not safe to be drinking anything while reading this thread….. I’m on my 3rd keyboard


@736, not to mention gonosyphiherpaclap, something that gives slugs like Mailboob their mental retardation! HEY, I now have a waterproof keyboard, now all I need is a screen shield!


How about a free mastectomy for him? And just to be sure he doesn’t have another opportunity to broadcast his seed, a free vasectomy?


Can we get this thread up to 1,000?


Does one need a vasectomy if one does not have any nuts to begin with?


@741 Do we get a cookie if we do?


@742, it’s frequently a psychological side effect of neutering that erectile dysfunction occurs in male humans.

I won’t say the same for male cats. They still spray and do the cheetah stud dance. I have witnessed this act myself.


No, but maybe we’ll get Jonn to call us all dickweeds.


@744 “…and do the cheetah stud dance.”

Oh, I so needed that laugh today! Thanks, PH!


If he’s been taking supplements to get to 225 lbs from 110 soaking wet, and from being from New Jersey, he could be at a higher level of risk for breast cancer.

I would hope he considers preventative manboobstectomy, and gives up the dreams of lactating nourishment for his spawn. Of course, the manboob reconstructive surgery might not be covered by his insurance

I wouldn’t worry about a vasectomy; from the sounds of things his best chance for breeding is spiking the seats in a ladies bathroom.


Dickweeds? I think there should an annual award for that, based on consistent performance and ability generate beverage-induced keyboard destruction in others.


@747 “…his best chance for breeding is spiking the seats in a ladies bathroom.”


You need to post WARNINGS with twisted shit like that, BK!


Mailbitch couldn’t even get laid in a women’s prison!


Rosie and her 5 sisters kicked him to the curb long ago…..

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Watching this guy trying to write a witty, sarcastic, or even a threatening comment to Jonn is like watching Forrest Gump work a Rubik’s cube…

It’s a level of epic fail the likes of which are probably not repeatable in the average lifetime…


He’s not too far from that storage tank farm on the Delaware. All those oil tankers tie up there, offloading millions of barrels of foreign oil.

Who knows how much toxic waste has been soaking into the ground under his mommy’s house?

That explains why he can bench press 50 pounds, which is less than his body weight.


Had to laugh at that bench press comment. I once had an employee who could bench press 300 pounds, and she was barely 5 feet tall.

Retired Master

You never can tell, Forrest Gump might be able to undo a Rubik’s Cube.


on #646, ron mailahn never paid the money back the insurance for the league paid the money and ron mailahn is suppose to pay them ,but i dont think that will ever happen,i think its terrible that he can say the the Barrington nj little league president took the money and blamed him, i am sure the president of the little league would LOVE to read that, and so would the Barrington new jersey police would love to know that they charged the wrong man,i guess ron will always blame everyone else for his mistakes, and i think its outrageous that he put lies on here about John, and their are many other lies he has been saying,i see his latest job is the starfleet captain how lovely ,he tells the most outrageous lies and gets away with it, he dont have a job again, he got fired from what i heard and now again he gets to collect unemployment ,he post pictures on FB of hiself dressed as captain kirk he needs to grow the hell up and realize that he is a father who neglects his daughter he is a pos and a deadbeat , John if i can help in anyway leave a message on here for me

one who also knows

on # 646 he is lying,i bet the barrington new jersey girls little league would like to know that he is the one who took the money, and i bet the Barrington police would like to know they charged the wrong man, ron has always blamed others for the things he has done,i am outraged that he can write these lies on here and the innocent people he is naming on here , and ron has never paid back the money, the insurance from the league paid it back,and ron is suppose pay the money back but wont, he says he is tight with his PO so he can get away with it,i cannot believe that he is threatening people on here about putting them is body bags and making charges that John steals from the elderly,and ron is also known as a dead beat dad, he has no job still lives with his mom in Collingswood new jersey, and he collects unemplyment , again and again , he is the one who needs to get a life, 44 years old, living with mom, his mother pays everything for him he pretends he is captain kirk, spending money on his star trek games and going to the movies to see star trek, ask him what he does for his daughter absolutly nothing, he plays his playstation and games and his madden games, and then has the nerve to come on here calling our military a bunch of old men, he is so disrespectful and then to brag that he has a personal trainer, yea and my name is Bill Gates, i hope he goes to jail for what he is saying and doing, he needs a taste of reality, he thinks he can do anything, i hope John that you nail him good, how dare he come on here and make outrageous charges against you, and if you need any info, please just post on here and i will give you my email , and God Bless our Military and keep them safe, and Thank you all for everything you… Read more »