Festival of John Moses Browning

| January 22, 2025 | 33 Comments

Tomorrow we celebrate the birthday of John Moses Browning, and his Gospel. Sit you down and harken.

The Holy Gospel of JMB

As translated from the original ancient manuscripts by Friar Frog.

1) In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was THE pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, “Thou shalt not muck with my disciple John’s design for it is good and it workith. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.”

2) “And shouldst thou muck with it, and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.”

3) And as the ages passed men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.

4) Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it, and these profaners didst try and fit more rounds of ammunition into the magazines than the holy number of seven, appointed for the .45.

5) And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and lose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the great battle.

6) And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunctions to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.

7) Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men, the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.

8) And being a deceitful spirit, the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols, filled with tiny springs and parts that were easily lost, and they were unmendable to the artisans of earth so they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did appear to function.

9) And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a “dingus” to make them appear safe.

10) But man being stupid did not understand these new pistols and didst proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol and with the trigger cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continue to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.

11) And when man had been totally ensnared with the plastic pistol, the lord of the underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible Ka-Boom to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.

12) Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men they didst begin to work as the Lord had intended.

13) And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John.

Now go ye forth and sin no more.
Amen.

Category: Guns, Historical, The Warrior Code

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Oldgeezer

Fortunately he also designed a slew more guns. All of which are marvels. Everyone should own a few examples just to feel complete and rewarded.

5JC

Just the list of rounds he designed is long, all of which are still in widespread use today, unlike the flavor of the month rounds that come out all the time from modern gun makers.

KoB

And the Gun Bunny said…”AMEN! All Hail His Most Saintly, John Moses Browning…Howitzer Be His Name! ALL HAIL!”

comment image

Take THAT, you Plasticized Abominations!

President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neande

One of yours, Gun Bunny?
LOVE the engraving.

Hell, I wish it was, Tox. Ran into that pic on another site and had kept it stashed since the weekend to post on a HOT for JMB (if it showed up), or a stand alone thread in re The Festival. I do have a Charcoal Gray suit and an OWB Black Holster that would look smashing with that piece. You know…for those Formal Occasions when one wants to be properly accessorized and make a fashion statement.

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

I love the 1911, but the Auto 5 is my favourite JMB gun and my scattergun of choice. I still have my grandfather’s, made circa 1930.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

I’ll check out the JB post tommoro

Sapper3307

Keeping it real!

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SFC D

What kind of Nogales Sinaloa cartel desecration is that? I’m guessing those are mother-of-pearl grips! Sonuvabitch, I need a drink!

KoB

Somebody going to Hell. Pour me one too, Lil’ Bro…a double!

Sapper3307

BoonDock Saints 2

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Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neande

W-T-Actual-F!?
Fortunately, grips can be removed and replaced.
Ditto for the suppressor.
(and didn’t we talk earlier about hanging a suppressor on a tilting barrel gun would cause it to jam?)

5JC

Nah, I run with my 22 conversion kit all the time and it chugs along just fine.

SFC D

And thus it shall ever be. We shall now read from Revelations, 19:11, proof that Saint John Moses Browning was indeed divinely inspired:

11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.

Please remain seated, I will be immediately followed by Brother Maynard, who shall instruct us on the proper use of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Amen.

Old tanker

It seems that S&W has seen the light. They brought out at the SHOT SHOW the “classic” series of revolvers (4 models so far) and all are without the stupid hillary hole. Now all they have to do is save some money and machining time by deleting the hillary hole from ALL of their revolvers.

Last edited 26 days ago by Old tanker
A Proud Infidel®™

What’s a “Hillary Hole? That phrase gives me nightmares.

SFC D

I had to google it and I was really afraid to look at the results.

SFC D

From the link above:

 “…that a bullet, which will have the shock effect and stopping effect at short ranges necessary for a military pistol or revolver, should have a caliber not less than .45.”

I believe that is one of the commandments brought forth by Brother Browning.

David

So why invent both the .32 and .380ACPs?

Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neanderthal

Baby steps. And the circumstances for the time. Weren’t fighting Moros when 32 & 380 were created.

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

Many .45 SAA’s and .45 #3’s were brought out of storage/personal effects when the enaemic .38 Long M1892s were found to be next to useless.
The .45 Colt 1902 DA (an improved 1877 Thunderer/Lightning) was used as a quick stopgap measure. But it was still an ejector rod gate loader.

SFC D

Sometimes you need a sledge hammer. Sometimes you need a tack hammer.

A Proud Infidel®™

The Great JMB’s .45 ACP came from the necessity of knockdown power in a sidearm after our Troops in the Philippines quickly discovered that their .38 pistols had no knockdown power versus doped-up Filipino Moros!

SFC D

Yup. That’s the sledgehammer.

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

Oddly enough, the MkIII DEWC loading of .455 Webley was rated superior to the .45 Colt, in the Thompson- Lagarde tests that were vital to the .45ACP’s development

A Proud Infidel®™

In the book “The Guns of John Moses Browning” by Nathan Gorenstein, it starts when JMB was a kid out west when he made his first gun. It was a crude black powder piece which was fired via a stick with a hot coal burning on one end being kept lit by his brother. it fired, they harvested some meat for dinner, but his Dad smashed up his crudely-made firearm and said, “You’re going to have to make better guns than this!” and the legend began. I’m not going to spoil the rest of it, but that book is a must for any Firearm Aficionado IMO!

rgr1480

Here is the icon of St. John Moses Browning:

St.-John-Moses-Browning
RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

Can’t forget the Gospel of Peter Paul and William (Mauser) too

Roh-Dog

The M2.

That is all.

FuzeVT

No doubt.

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RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

M1917, M1919, BAR…..all classics

FuzeVT

Might just have to visit the range with my Kimber (if I hadn’t lost it in that tragic boating accident) and celebrate properly.

DocV

I’m disappointed there was nary a mention if St. Browning’s blessed disciple, Dieudonné Saive, who carried on his master’s gospel and brought forth the Browning High Power…

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