Subway – Fake Tuna?

| July 27, 2021

Several media outlets, including the New York Post are reporting on a lawsuit that claims that the tuna in Subway’s tuna sandwiches is, well, *cough* … not really tuna.

Apparently, someone tested the tuna and found the DNA has no trace back to actual tuna.  Subway claims that the test is flawed and cannot produce reliable results with denatured (i.e. cooked) tuna.  This opened up a wider debate and research into the “tuna chain” which suggested that if it is in fact true that the tuna is fake, it may not be Subway’s fault.

This has prompted memes on the subject popping up around the internet, many of which involve cats.

OK, OK, maybe that last meme was over the top.  Please send any complaints to Dave Hardin at the Valor Guardian Complaint Department – I’m just the talent.

Fish fraud is rampant — and Subway’s tuna scandal is just the tip of the iceberg
A viral investigation into the content of Subway’s “tuna” is a portent of a much larger fish regulatory problem

Subway’s tuna sandwiches may not be their most famous product, but some (including this author) would argue they are one of their tastiest. Needless to say, it was alarming to read a report that a New York Times investigation into the sandwich’s tuna found “no amplifiable tuna DNA,” suggesting that the so-called tuna sandwich was not, in fact, tuna fish. Subway later questioned the reliability of the DNA tests, claiming in a statement that it “is simply not a reliable way to identify denatured proteins like Subway’s tuna, which was cooked before it was tested.”

The viral “fake tuna” debacle has undoubtedly hurt Subway’s brand, and heightened a popular perception of corporations as shifty and untrustworthy. Yet regardless of the mystery meat’s provenance, the saga highlights a larger industrial supply chain problem — namely, that fish fraud, as it is known, is prevalent. That means that if indeed some of Subway’s tuna is “fake,” it may not entirely be their fault.

It pains me to say this, in spite of our mission here at TAH/VG – but not all fake is bad.  Imitation crab meat – you know, the perfect white sticks with a hint of orange/red/pink on the top – is actually surimi, which is a paste made from white fish and is probably better for you than actual crab meat.

Surimi – Imitation Crab Meat

Ironically, Subway used to carry a “Seafood & Crab” sandwich that was made up of surimi, but the discontinued it in most stores.

So, eat up you Subway goers!

Oh wait… pump the brakes softly.  This all has had a natural transition to Megan Rapinoe, the female soccer player that is the face of Subway nowadays.

I love Subway, and I have to admit I am partial to tuna, so I *might* be a hypocrite if I continue to eat there.  To be honest, Megan Rapinoe and her anti-American values turn me off more than fake tuna… if the tuna is fake.


Category: "Teh Stoopid", Politics

Comments (45)

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  1. KoB says:

    Something fishy going on around there.

    And no, that is not tuna. And that’s all I got to say on that subject. I could say more…but I won’t. (giggle snort)

  2. Daisy Cutter says:

    Let he or she who has never put something fake into their mouth cast the first stone.

    It needed to be said.

  3. Sponge - Saying Ashli Babbitt says:

    Yeah, I won’t fund Megan, so I won’t be eating at Subway any time soon. She hates me, so I return the favor.

  4. Keepin' It Real says:

    I have ordered an 11-inch foot-long tuna before.

  5. penguinman000 says:

    I can’t wait for their outrage when the slacktavists find out the fishing industry that supplies their sushi and shashimi runs on modern slave labor.

    Guess it makes more sense to target their moral outrage at largely mom and pop owned franchises instead for giving them “fake tuna” than to actually combat slavery in the modern age.

  6. ChipNASA says:

    I’ll just leave this here…

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      Dammit, ChipNASA, you’re supposed to post a spew warning! Computer screens are NOT freebies!!!

      • ChipNASA says:

        I started to but that ofttimes ruins the joke.

        • Daisy Cutter says:

          When I was a kid, my dad took me to a drive-in to see “Paint Your Wagon” which was a western musical. At that young age, I could not fully grasp the concept of a musical, although I had seen a lot of westerns. My dad told me it was not going to be a normal western as I was used to.

          On the way to the movie, I kept pestering my father. “Dad, is a western musical like a comedy? Is it funny, Dad. Will I laugh?”

          Irritated, my father shot back: “I don’t know. If it’s funny… laugh.”

        • timactual says:

          So which is more important—–computer screens or jokes?

          I say go for the joke.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      The question is: what would SARC do with that?

      • ChipNASA says:

        I doubt that even were he put in a Pulp Fiction type scanario and even with duct tape and popsicle sticks on his woah dilly dilly would he complete the task AND to boot, there’s no vagine involved here that we know of so, that’s being said, IDC SARC would probably take his chances on the great beyond.
        Rare, but my opinion.

  7. tom reynolds says:

    I stopped eating there when they hired that pink haired dude that hates America to be their spokes person. I forgave them for the pedophile(how would they know?) but they were well aware of this turd of a person. Jrecks is much better.

  8. Are these the results from what was said on the radio around 2 or three weeks ago about the alledged phony Tuna???

  9. OWB says:

    Errra, well, uhgggg, hmmm.

    Got nothin’ but groans, grunts and question marks…

  10. Ex-PH2 says:

    So there really IS a reason it’s called “Chicken of the Sea”. I knew it. It was only a matter of time.

  11. SFC D says:

    Megan knows tuna.

  12. Roh-Dog says:

    Megan Rapinoe?
    That’s more than enough to throw them out of the rotation of options.
    Some Budweiser-sponsored internet talkie thing had that loser on too. Never been a huge fan of the red bow tie, but now…?
    Keep elevating these causes that are fundamentally anti-American, corporate whores. We’ve seen the endgame of tyranny over, and over. You can’t run these places at a loss forever.
    Subway, “Let them eat [soylent green]”.

  13. MarineDad61 says:

    Gas station hoagies are even worse than gas station pizza.
    When you live in hoagie heaven,
    like these parts of Pennsylvania,
    Subway is fake hoagies.

    • Fyrfighter says:

      Preach MD! I miss very little about PA these days, but true hoagies are one of those things. Out here in the Peoples Republic of Colorado, Jersey Mikes is the closest we can get, and still not anywhere near the real deal.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      A Sheetz MTO rules!

    • timactual says:

      Not nice to gloat, even if true. I bought an “Italian” sub at Safeway the other day. It was huge (I like a challenge) and cheaper than a real sub shop, and I am nothing if not a cheap glutton. Ended up throwing most of it away. “You get what you pay for”.

  14. Sparks says:

    “maybe that last meme was over the top.”

    LMAO, no, it wasn’t. In fact, it was a well-neded laugh this morning Steve!

  15. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    Much ado about what is most likely nothing…

    Even our government admits that finding DNA in highly processed foods is very unlikely. It’s what allows GMO products to avoid the GMO labeling if they are processed as no detectable DNA is found typically.

    That tuna was processed and sent around the nation to franchisees…it’s unlikely to retain DNA from the tuna largely due to the vegetable oil in the mayo and other processing agents.

    Nothing to see here folks, get your grinder/sub and move along now.

    • tshe says:

      It reminds of when I see a label that says “We use REAL peanut butter in this product.”

      Is there such thing as fake peanut butter? I would think that peanut butter is so cheap to make that there would be no need for cheaper, fake peanut butter.

      Considering they use lower quality skipjack yellowfin, bigeye, etc. and not Pacific bluefin tuna (sushi-quality), I would think there is no incentive to use fake tuna.

  16. Messkit says:

    Local sammich shop for me, and we have about a dozen here. I haven’t a need for a chain store meal in decades.

    We also have the pizza shop, that placed 5th in the world in international competition. Yes, there is such a thing. They use local meats and cheeses, and a oak fired oven. Just simply deelish!

  17. Hack Stone says:

    Daniel Bernath had a Subway franchise. When customers questioned the pedigree of the sandwich in question, he claimed that it was an Honorary Tuna Sandwich.