Duane Hoffman – Phony Beirut Navy Cross Recipient

| December 14, 2020

The folks at Military Phony send us their work on Duane Allen Hoffman who is 58 or 60 years old.  He has two different dates of birth listed, but it is more likely he was born in 1962 and is 58 years old at the time of this writing – December 2020.  Hoffman lives in San Francisco, California.

On Twitter, he claims that he is a “U.S. NAVAL INTELLIGENCE OFFICER (’81 to 96).”  He implies being wounded making reference to having asked “WHAT DID I BLEED FOR AS NAVAL INTEL. COMBAT OFFICER.”

In another tweet, Hoffman can’t seem to decide if he was a CAPT (O-6), or a VICE ADMIRAL (O-9). These posts were within one day of each other so he must have rocketed up through the ranks.

In another Twitter post, Hoffman claimed that he was awarded the Navy Cross for Heroism from actions in Beirut, Lebanon – presumably 1983 or 1984.  I say these two dates because there was a bombing of the U.S. Embassy on April 18, 1983 and another bombing of the U.S. Embassy Annex on September 20, 1984.  The Annex was the facility that was designated after the first Embassy was destroyed.

Although he does not distinguish between the bombings, Hoffman claims he was awarded the Navy Cross.  He spells ‘Beirut’ incorrectly.

Duane Allen Hoffman – Twitter

Hoffman seems to be panhandling and leveraging the Navy Cross.

He repeated the Beirut and Navy Cross claim again in another tweet.

Duane Allen Hoffman – Twitter

In the following Tweet, Hoffman claims to be a survivor of the Marine Barracks Bombing, which was a separate incident from the U.S. Embassy bombing.  He is either claiming he is a survivor of both, or he has them confused.  The POTUS response is standard for anybody that writes, so not unique to Hoffman.

Duane Allen Hoffman – Twitter

. . . . .

Duane Hoffman’s military records were ordered from both the Department of the Navy (DoN) and the National Personnel Records Center (NPRC) through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request. As mentioned above, there were two dates of birth listed for him but both were accounted for in the FOIA requests.

. . . . .



The Department of the Navy responded saying they cannot locate a record for Duane Hoffman at BUPERS (Bureau of Naval Personnel).  However, their database reflects that there is an OMPF (Official Military Personnel File) for this individual at NPRC in St. Louis.

This means that he served and got out before the mid-1990s.

Department of the Navy – Cover Letter

. . . . .


The NPRC provided the following records.

NPRC FOIA Results – Duane Hoffman – Summary Sheet

NPRC FOIA Results – Duane Hoffman – Assignments

. . . . .


The SCRA database shows no records for Hoffman from September 1984 to present day.

. . . . .



We were able to identify a photo from the Wilby High School yearbook in Waterbury, Connecticut where Hoffman spent his youth. This made us believe that the date of birth in 1962 was the correct one. This also places him in high school in 1981.  He claims he was in the Navy in 1981 which is plausible if he joined right after High School. That appears to be the case because the official military records from the NPRC state that his date of entry was June 25, 1981.  The point is he would not have sufficient time to go to college and graduate with a degree to allow for a commission in the Navy.

Duane Allen Hoffman – Wilby High School Yearbook

In fact, he could not have been in either of the Beirut bombings as an Intel Officer based on the timeline of high school if you factor in four years of college.

 . . . . .


Hoffman is not in any of the official and non-official Navy Cross databases where we would expect to find him if he was awarded the Navy Cross.

. . . . .


Hoffman seems to have had an extensive career as a con artist as some have labeled him.  Then, when in prison awaiting trial for theft and fraud, he successfully won a federal lawsuit allowing him to wear a yarmulke in jail.

Duane Hoffman – San Francisco Chronicle

Duane Allen Hoffman was sentenced in 2010 to two years in prison for using a stolen credit card.

Then, Hoffman found himself back in jail again, this time in 2013.  More fodder for the newspapers.

November 21, 2013 – Con artist back in the clink (The San Francisco Examiner)

. . . . .


The official military records for Duane Allen Hoffman point to a two-year service in the U.S. Navy.

There is no record of him being an officer let alone a Vice Admiral or Captain.

There is no record of him being awarded a Navy Cross.

There is no record of him being in Beirut, Lebanon.

There are no awards for combat.

If Hoffman has used these claims to gain anything of value – especially the combat and Navy Cross claims – he may be in violation of the Stolen Valor Act.

I guess if the holiday season hits you and you feel like people can turn over a new leaf, you can greet ol’ Hoffie here with open arms… and open wallets.

The only currency he should be dealing with is cigarettes while he’s back in the pokey.

Category: Beirut, Combat Wounded, Lebanon, Navy Cross, Navy Cross, Navy Poser, Valor, Valor Vultures

Comments (150)

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  1. MarineDad61 says:

    Duane Allen Hoffman’s STOLEN VALOR PayPalMe is still UP.
    The PayPalMe page doesn’t say anything,
    but the STOLEN VALOR proof is on Twitter,
    and his Twitter STOLEN VALOR twit is still up, too.
    Holy Crap.

  2. MarineDad61 says:

    Duane Allen Hoffman’s “my father is a German Holocaust survivor”
    and “only child of wealthy parents” lines are both LIES.
    Double bullshit.

    Here is the father’s obituary.
    Born in Maine.
    5 sons and 2 daughters.
    Duane Allen Hoffman has plenty of siblings back east.
    Not sure how many of them still put up with him today.

    • Graybeard says:

      You have to feel sorry for a man who fathered a loser liar like Duane Allen Hoffman.

      His siblings probably wish Duane Allen Hoffman would never have been born.

    • thebesig says:

      Duane Hoffman, phony Beirut veteran, phony Naval Officer, was discharged as a seaman.

  3. Planet Ord says:

    What a douche.

  4. Andy11M says:

    The article from 2013 he claims to have HIV. Want to place bets on that being a lie too?

    • MarineDad61 says:

      Punch line,
      he said that from a wheelchair, but 2 sentences later,
      his fake wheelchair act was exposed.

  5. Veritas Omnia Vincit says:

    Maybe he’s one of those guys with Parkinson’s who experiences hallucinations and/or delusions…

    Or he’s just another sad sack full of crap liar…

    Being the Christmas season I’m hoping it’s the former.

    Being a jaded realist, it’s very likely the latter.


    • Hondo says:

      “I’ll take, ‘Sad sack full of crap liar’ for $400, Alex.” (smile)

      RIP, Mr. Trabek.

      • MarineDad61 says:

        Good one.
        How about this….
        “I’ll take Lebanon Bologna for $200, Ken.” (Jennings)
        RIP AT

    • Atlanticcoast63 says:


      “Maybe he’s one of those guys with Parkinson’s who experiences hallucinations and/or delusions…”

      Had some experience with that. My Dad – a Marine from 53-59 – developed Parkinsons, and when it went south, it went fast. The hallucinations were of children, always just sitting quietly in his living room. He seemed to remember that these were kids he had known growing up in Cleveland in the 40s, but was never able to attach names to them.

      And when it did get bad, he wasn’t with us most of the time…but every day, he remembered he was a Marine. One day, he was talking with one of the guys in his platoon working out the schedule for going to the grenade range, and one memorable afternoon he got through about a minute or so of the full technical description of his rifle. It varied from day to day, but he ALWAYS remembered he was a Marine.

      I think the point I want to get to though, is that he never said something that didn’t have a grounding in fact, no matter how far back it went. If this guy ever decides to use his Parkinsons as an excuse, let me know.

      I’d like to have a chat with him.

      • Thunderstixx says:

        I saw a lot of that working in various nursing homes around Wisconsin.
        One that stayed with me was a survivor of the US Navy in Okinawa. He was on a rocket artillery ship and described the workings of the MLRS Navy style in fine detail.
        Another one was a waist gunner in a B-17 in the 8’Th Air Force and was credited with shooting down an ME-109. PH, Bronze Star with a V and only God knows what else.
        The 8’Th Air Force lost more people than all of the Infantry and Armor in WWII.
        Another weird thing is that when I brought a deck of cards to a nursing home in Milwaukee and started playing Blackjack with a bunch of the residents.
        It was amazing how they came out of the fog and knew whether to hit or hold a soft 17 !!!
        Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s are some of the worst diseases.
        But the worst to me is ALS.
        Godspeed to you all, you all earned your place in Heaven, and Joe, I’m hoping you talked your way past St Peter faster than old Beelzebub could get someone there to contest your case !!!

  6. Pecos Phil says:

    Not even a NDSM!

  7. 2banana says:

    Plenty bleed in service in the military without seeing combat.

    No excuse for this faker, but seen plenty of training accidents.

  8. FuzeVT says:

    And the Biden endorsement. . . .

  9. NHSparky says:

    15 years from HS graduate to VADM?

    That’s pretty impressive considering most folks might be putting on LCDR about that time.

    Or he could just be full of shit.

    Best guess: he got a. NROTC scholarship to attend Northwestern or do a cross-enrollment with another school near there. But no indication of summer AD (middle cruises), etc, makes me think he did not succeed in that endeavor. No shame in that, except for all the Google trophies he’s picked up since.

    • Hack Stone says:

      Those points for correspondence courses really add up when it comes to promotion points. He was probably getting promoted so fast that he did not have time to buy some of the rank insignia for the pay grades that jumped.

      To be fair, while incarcerated, he is known as The Admiral, because he cellmates ask for permission to “Come Aboard”. He runs a tight ship, at least the first few guys, then the damage control kicks in and they start plugging his holes with whatever is handy.

  10. 5JC says:

    It’s not easy rattling a tin cup on line these days. He is going to have to up his game to be able to get the green to buy him some male companionship.

    • Keepin' It Real says:

      Well, it’s safe to say we can rule Texas out.

      Hoffman - Texas

      • Hondo says:

        “Openly gay”, eh? I wonder if his “sexual orientation” could possibly have had something to do with his early discharge. As I recall 1983 was well before “don’t ask, don’t tell” came into effect.

        • 26Limabeans says:

          Openly gay and early discharge must be very frustrating for his partners.

        • rgr769 says:

          Well, if he is really openly gay, he lives in the best place on earth for that behavior, the San Fransicko. Anyone who wants to see that city’s level of deviance only needs to Google the Folsom Street Fair and look at Zombietime’s photos.

        • NHSparky says:

          I stick by my earlier assessment he was picked up for NROTC but never finished, otherwise why separate from an ROTC unit at Northwestern?

          • NHSparky says:

            Then again, I may be wrong. I’ll have to look at my records to see if RECTD would be consistent with someone transferring there for purposes of attending, but it doesn’t make sense to send someone halfway across country from HOR just to boot their ass.

  11. Daisy Cutter says:

    Don’t know how many of you caught this, but in the one Twitter post Hoffman used “K.C.V.O.” after his name.

    The significance of that is he’s also claiming to have been knighted by the Queen of England. The K.C.V.O. designation stands for Knight Commander of the Royal Victorian Order.

    OR, it’s a radio station in Camdenton, Missouri.

    Assuming the former – that’s one more thing Duane Allen Hoffman bollixed up, as they would say in the UK.

  12. Keepin' It Real says:

    I had always wondered how retired Vice Admirals did financially.

    Pretty good with only a little PayPal to augment the military retirement.

  13. Cobrakai99 says:

    Wow 15 months and out while in school. Looks like he was a shitbird in the Navy also.

  14. WOW, this is great with finally a Monday morning phony Squid valor thief but alas not a Monday morning phony Seal for the TAH starting gate. Oh well, and you disgraced Hoffman soda with your name and the dirty deeds you have done. Anyone remember Hoffman soda and the soda trucks loaded up with soda and old fashioned glass seltzer bottles???

  15. Sapper3307 says:

    Selective wheelchair use also, full turd burgler.

    • Claw says:

      Congrats, your input just created a new acronym (LFTB*) for the Whiz Wheel®™ scores. So:

      Duane Allen Hoffman (LFTB) 29 x 7 = 203

      * Lying Full Turd Burgler

      • Claw says:

        The new acronym/multiplier was adopted for those almost nut cases who just don’t seem to make it to the threshold of being declared FRPR (Full Retard Past Rutabaga)/H/T to API®™.

      • 26Limabeans says:

        Now that belongs on the Hemisphere of Insults

  16. chooee lee says:

    If you are gonna go go big. Why stop at Vice Admiral, why not go for the gold CNO?

  17. Mustang Major says:

    Judging by Duane Hoffman’s posts, he comes across more as a nut case than as opposed to a hardcore stolen valor thief. Everyone here would sniff his BS out in under thirty seconds. Unfortunately, others will believe him.

    BTW: Duane Hofman seems to claim that he lost a Marine son in combat. My research found only one USMC Hoffman death in Iraq. The internet indicates Duane Hoffman isn’t his father. Go figure.

    • Hack Stone says:

      So you are saying he went Full Latke? Oy Vey!

    • KoB says:

      “…more of a nut case…”

      Nah, I must respectfully disagree my Good Sir. When I FIRST read this on evening last over to the MP site, my FIRST thought was; Comes us now one (1) Duane Allen Hoffman (Hoffie), a lying, embellishing, grifting, con artist of the vilest sort. He should be called Huffie for the meat gazing stare calling to mind a peter huffer. I’m sure with his in and out visits to the Gray Bar Hotel he has had plenty of practice on huffing…and on in and outs. We could also use the nickname of Huskie, since he seems to be a pudgy putrid porker. (Apologies to the porcine, bacon seeds species.)

      Duane Allen Hoffman had a chance to do honorable service and to be a decent human being, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO! He had to be a lying, embellishing piece of trash that stood in the blood of and on the bodies of Warriors. He is NOT worthy to lick the excretia from the bottom of these Warriors Boots. And let’s add the claims of (a) suffering from AIDS (a nasty way to die), (b) confinement to a wheelchair (a hell in and of itself), (c) descendant of Holocaust Survivor (millions that didn’t survive), (d) suffering from Parkinson’s (another ghastly way to die), and lastly, but not leastly AND IMO, the most heinous claim of all, (e) the Claim of Gold Star Parent Status. Each and everyone of us either know, or know of, someone that is now or has suffered from all of the preceding. I normally do not wish any ill health on someone, but in the case of the lying, embellishing, piece of sh^t, Duane Allen Hoffman, behold my field of phuques, I have none to give. I really hope that this parasite on Society dies in a prison wheelchair, surrounded by the Boys of the BTJ&T Deli, from the ravages of AIDS while being afflicted with Parkinson’s. Afterwards, my he rot in Hell as Satan consumes his worthless soul.

      I am surprised that we have had so many comments, yet I am the FIRST to make a motion for the deployment of the Hemisphere of Insults on the lying, embellishing POS Duane Allen Hoffman. If anyone is deserving this ass hamster is. Can I get a SECOND and an AYE!

      • Grunt says:


      • Atlanticcoast63 says:


      • The Stranger says:

        Con una chingada, SI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • ChipNASA says:

        Well boys,
        Thanks to KoB from the other thread to poke me and send me properly, this direction.

        Sorry for being so late in the day and a day or two late as I was not caught up on my TAH reading.

        SO, what do we have here? A complete raging hemorrhoid that has irritated just about *everything* he’s come in contact with.
        That being the case, as they used to say in the NFL, ” After further review, the request on the thread stands, we have had a request of the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ , we have had a Second and we have had *multiple* AYE votes, so, meeting the self imposed Roberts Rules of order for TAH and VG, we hereby deploy the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ for one significantly deserving Duane Allen Hoffman.

        Please to be preparing your aft porthole, although, I’d hazard a guess, that’s something that comes quite naturally to you…

        The Hemisphere of Insults®™
        (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
        FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
        DANGER CLOSE!!!!
        MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
        TAKE COVER!!!!!
        … Duane “Lame”, Allen “Alien”, “probably quite familiar with Huffing”, Hoffman.…HEY DICKLESS WONDER, We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, Not a NAVY Officer in any way shape or form, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, if you Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick., Anus tonguing shit slurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes, Pudwhack, pillock, Saltimbanco, zounderkite, Minger, Felonious Ass Pirate, get bent like a fucking pretzel, I mean, what in the roll tide, only has sex with family after Nascar, butt chugging box wine, mushy meth mouth, mountain dew snorting, corn dog anal injecting, only listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd when making cornbread, fuck, is going on, Fucking less worthwhile, hairier, dirtier and uglier than Hillary Clinton’s taint, if this guy even *had* a woman, or any balls, he’d keep them in her purse anyway, failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butterIf you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass, You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand,

        • ChipNASA says:

          Sphincter reaper, That ‘stash you may or may not have (if you had one) looks like Goal Post for a Dick…. Blower and boffer of balls, Devil of cock gobbling, Bacha bāzī “boy”, Dildohead, cunt giblets (Thanks ASMDSS), If this goose shit gobbling mongoloid were an MRE, he would be Spaghetti and Dick, is a sack sucking semen slurper, nut nibbling nincompoop, and jizz juicing jackoff. This guy, I mean, this fucking guy right here, is the poster boy for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as a fucking cross eyed, cock gobbling, 55 gallon drum of cock snot, dumpster fire, nsumbyeotchkizzmyazzwingwipineffoffanbeholdemyfieldofphuquesyouphuquingphuquer, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, his breath smells like he ate a dead man’s underwear, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, Dude looks like he smells like hot dog water, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, you are such a disappointment to the human race, I think I’m gonna have to court your slovenly, unhinged, cow of a Mother, in real life, second only to the character Annie Wilkes in Misery, and then hate slam the psychosis right out of her dirt box, such that another chromosomally challenged creature like you never occurs again, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, this is the kinda guy who’s feet swing when he’s on the toilet, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine, perpetual Turd that just keeps circling the bowl and will never flush, Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, This motherfucking guy makes my ass itch, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, spaghetti straw-sized personal organ, real boy babies have bigger nuts, putting the squeeze on this nugatory nut nibbler is not worth the juice, there are ants that are smarter than this dorkwad from the bottom of Poontang Pond, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, is a lying sack of wet doughnut batter, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid, Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid, you emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid.Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown,

          • ChipNASA says:

            looks like hammered dog shit, puborectalis spasm, you are so bad, you’re a disappointment to the table of elements and the molecules that they represent, that came from space to form humans on Planet Earth, you are so awful, you make humanity want to beg for a near extinction level, asteroid impact event, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, he claims to have PTSD and he really does have PTSD, PTSD” when it stands for “pretty talented suckign dicks, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, nasty enough to pass gas during a colonscopy, thinks a GI lavage is a mixed drink at a party, if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, consuming connoisseur of the chocolate starfish, Cocksucking Catfish, anal & vaginal prolapse, giant anal Q-Tip, this freak fancies himself performing fellatio on a variety of pinnapeds, He went all vaginal. You *never* go all vaginal, fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P), NOT a Navy Officer, NOT an Intel guy, NEVER in Combat, just to reinforce the point, was NEVER a CAPT (O-6), or a VICE ADMIRAL (O-9), was NOT and NEVER awarded the Navy Cross, and since that’s false, then he was NEVER in or, involved in any was shape or form, bombing of the U.S. Embassy in 1983, NOR was he at the bombing of the U.S. Embassy Annex in 1984, also he was not and was never a survivor of the Marine Barracks Bombing, you are an unbelievable fuckbag shitnozzle, absolutely horrid human being for even *thinking* about associating yourself with those honorable individuals and their families that were part of these historic events, NOT wounded, except probably his PRIDE, from being such a MASSIVE FAILURE!!!, you are absolutely a thief, a criminal a con artist, you are worse than the Devil’s Hemorrhoids, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again, you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, This guy is a piece of lint on stinky goat nuts, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, This guy has spunk. And by spunk, I mean he likes to ingest copious, and I mean immense, monumental and breathtaking, amounts of Baby Batter, Ball Barf, Trouser Gravy, Man Chowder, High Fructose Porn Syrup, Daddy Sauce, Choad Nectar, Throat Yogurt, Penis Colada, Nut Butter, and Weiner Sauce, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, you weak-kneed no-load pus-nuts pisspants needle-dicked cockroach-fucking slug-licking bucket of lying cockroach shit!, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, parasite on society, What in the bipolar fuck, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tapping glory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, pisses off more people than the clackers on an abacus, prepare your anus, karma is going in dry, You are a moron. A window pane licking, urinal cake eating, lying moron, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt,

            • ChipNASA says:

              I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, obstreperous shit-whistle, what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, this swollen, sweltering manhole should be infected with herpegonasyphilaids, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian bag of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt, And a new addition thanks to Sarge I hereby introduce you to the ALPHABET ASSAULT:
              Annoying asinine Ampharos asshole assistant to APL; bulimic ballsack biting butt buddy at Brucie’s Bathhouse (entrance in the rear); chronic cocksucking clymidiacic chickenfucking cretin; dumbass dumbshit dickguzzling dimwitted douchebag, erratic earwax eating enema expert; fowl felching monkeyfucking ferret fluffing Uncle Fester look-alike; gregarious gangrene carrying Grinch; hypocrtical hippo humping hackeysack full of horse shit; idiotic inbred imbecile with a low IQ and impotence issues; jumping jackass with jockey shorts full of jellyfish jism; kooky kommunistic klown kitty fucking knave; lying loathsome limpdick lillylivered lazyass llama blowing loser; manmeat mooching meatslapping moosecock muncher; no good ninja nippled needlenutted nobody; obsolete overfucked octopus orgy observer; penis pumping pee filled poster child for proper prophelactic usage; queasy queef quaffing quantum horsesqueeze; ratt fucking rump ranger who plays the rusty trombone; Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch with syphilis; taint ticking test subject for tits on men at Tiny’s Truck Stop; unclefucking ugly ass unborn umbilical discharge; valor Vulture and volunteer for vile vaginal discharge vacuum duty, wanks to blue waffle porn while waiting for winos to blow at the aforemention truck stop; useful as an upset ugly unicorn uterus; yodleing yellowbellied yak yanker; zipper gazing zealot with zits on his zero inch dick. Fuck off, eat shit, die in a fire.
              If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!

              We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
              /FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value
              The Hemisphere of Insults®™

              FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
              Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
              Here endeth the lesson.

              • ChipNASA says:


                I don’t think that Duane Allen Hoffman is going to garner any public media attention as the Foley and Jowers case and subsequent Posts.

                A momentary review and consideration that this individual and their posting is generally not going to generate any undue influence or attract attention from local, regional or national media organizations, so as to not impede any further investigation into his behavior and distracting from linking to MP or TAH by a due deployment of said and glorious, The Hemisphere of Insults®™

                (Please excuse me but I’ll keep posting this disclaimer just because there may be some that don’t realize what was going on in previous threads and/or behind the scenes because of the previous deployment of the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ , this is just a reminder)
                1. This is a Dave post and I don’t want to stir shit when he had to edit one of the last ones because…
                2. Sometimes, TAH and MP attract outside attention from the local/regional and sometimes, national media. In one of the previous threads, the Foley and Jowers case, it attracted media attention and they were very hesitant to link or mention TAH, because of the deployment of the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ . I don’t want to hamper legitimate investigations or mentions or using TAH as a resource in reporting Stolen Valor to the public because to the outside world, the The Hemisphere of Insults®™ can be somewhat off-putting (to say the least, of which I am quite proud.)
                Remember to reference “Sarge” and request the Staff Summary Sheet of Shame

                ————- ———–

                Oh and one time Blake Morgan said: “ I swear I was hearing “O Beautiful for spacious skies… For amber waves of grain” playing as I was reading this…. “

                So without further ado, here is a link to the New York Orchestra performing America the Beautiful, at Carnegie Hall, for your listening pleasure, if you want a musical accompaniment to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

                • ChipNASA says:

                  And to round off the post, THANKS to you all and to KoB for pointing me to this post for necessary deployment of weapons hot…

                  • KoB says:

                    And the Gun Bunny, along with ALL of the assorted Miscreanted d’weeds and weedettes Chorused, on key, in Harmony and as one (1)


  18. Hack Stone says:

    Duane Allen Hoffman just can’t catch a break. His father survived the Holocaust; he survived one, possibly more, terrorist bombings in Beirut; in 2013 he was confined to a wheelchair while battling HIV; in June 2019 he was enduring Parkinson’s Disease; he was mugged and hospitalized by San Francisco thugs this past; he is a Gold Star father who had a son die in combat in The Marine Corps; and his yarmulke has shrunk. They should call this guy Bad Luck Schleprock.

    • tshe says:

      If weren’t for bad luck he would have no luck at all.

      • MarineDad61 says:

        Because…. Duane Allen Hoffman was….
        Born under a bad sign
        I been down since I began to crawl
        If it wasn’t for bad luck
        I wouldn’t have no luck at all

        Bad luck and trouble
        Have been my only friend
        And I’ve been down
        Ever since I was ten

        Born under a bad sign
        I been down since I began to crawl
        If it wasn’t for bad luck
        I wouldn’t have no luck at all

    • Hack Stone says:

      December 12 he tweeted that he was diagnosed with a cerebral aneurysm and lost his “Luxury Hotel/TravelConsultancy business”. Wonder if looked under the sofa cushions, whenever Hack Stone loses the remote, he finds it there. Poor guy just can’t catch a break.

  19. 26Limabeans says:


    Sorry, that document is suspect unless the person that typed
    it can be located and given a second try.
    English as a second language is not working out for them.

    • Martinjmpr says:

      This is not the first indication we’ve gotten that these FOIA responses are given a low priority and assigned to the least qualified clerk in the office, possibly as a form of punishment.

      “Late for work again eh, Jensen? Well, you know what that means. Here’s a stack of FOIA requests. You can go home when they’re done.”

      Besides spelling errors we’ve also seen things like 2nd awards of the NDSM that weren’t justified by the active duty dates from the very same document.

      Sloppiness, lack of attention to detail. NPRC needs to hire a retired NCO to straighten that part of the office out.

      • 26Limabeans says:

        I have been seeing sloppy work in everything lately.
        It seems like the Covid layoffs were for the skilled
        workers and the low skilled are running the shops.

        • Martinjmpr says:

          This was happening long before COVID.

          Like I said above, NPRC requests are the lowest of the low in terms of priority. My guess is nobody is reviewing these they’re just banging them out and putting them in the mail. Nobody cares if they get them right or not.

    • Hondo says:

      I wouldn’t read too much into that error. It’s an example of a transposition error, and is one of the most common typos.


      Yeah, it should have been caught. But things like that do slip through sometimes, particularly when the preparer doesn’t use some form of automated spell-checking.

      • Hack Stone says:

        They were using spellcheck software purchased from a proud but humble woman owned business that sells software to the federal government formerly located in Bethesda Maryland. You get what you pay for.

  20. Forest Bondurant says:

    Got his ass beat during one of the “peaceful protests” in San Francisco, while confined to a wheelchair?


    Dude needs some serious mental health counseling.

    Of he has family back east, I imagine they keep their distance if he’s the fuckwit he portrays himself to be.

  21. Green Thumb says:

    All-Points Logistics Spiritual Advisor.

    Good fit for this clown.

  22. Ex-PH2 says:

    Two years AD and he couldn’t get past E-3? Such ambition, he has.

  23. RetiredDevilDoc8404 says:

    Rather than incarcerating this rancid pile of monkey excreta, I suggest he be restrained in the defective wheelchair from the Seinfeld episode, taken to the top of Lombard Street in San Francisco and allow a legit Beirut vet to give him a pushing start. If he can make it to the bottom without either tipping over or crashing he is allowed to go on his way. If he can’t, well TS zippy, you get to keep the wheelchair because by the time you’re done crashing you’ll be needing it for real…

    • 26Limabeans says:

      Be a shame he gets T-boned by a certain 1968 Mustang GT.

      • KoB says:

        You mean like this one ‘beans?

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          Pontiacs. They always used to bottom out.

          And San Fran used to be such a pretty place. Now it’s a dump.

          • 26Limabeans says:

            They have laws about picking up your dog poop but
            human poop disposal is racist or something.

          • Ex-PH2 says:

            Ah! Not “racist” but rather, speciesist!

            Dogs and cats at least make some kind of effort to cover their disposals.

            Dogs scratch the grass and leaves behind them and cats try to cover the leavings with leaves.

            But these modern Hiumins? No such thing. They are not just uncivilized, but also very unwilling to admit they have done anything wrong by turning the streets into sewers.

        • 3/10/MED/b says:

          Thanks, KoB. Appreciated the Steve McQueen clip.

          “Nevada Smith”, one of the greatest movies.

          And Daune Allen Hoofman (misspelled intentionally…)…
          sporting a Navy Cross…

          Will never understand the thought processes one will go through (or more likely, NOT go through) when they come up with these lies.

          Peace to all

          3/10/MED/b out;

      • RetiredDevilDoc8404 says:

        Irony of course would be that Steve McQueen was a legit Marine. That 68 Mustang would make him a nice grease stain in the road of life were the T Bone to occur, trash a perfectly good broke down wheelchair though and might damage that sweet ride…but justice would be served

      • Green Thumb says:


  24. Skippy says:


    WHAT A F$&@ idiot
    welcome too TAH
    Moron we’re going to help
    You because even more Internet famous

  25. USAFRetired says:

    This ass hat forgot one of the basics of being a con man

    Mendacem memorem esse oportet

    His death was imminent a decade ago.

    His Holocaust survivor father was born in Portland Maine and living in Connecticutt in 1940. He can’t decided whether he was a Navy Captain or Vice Admiral from one tweet to the next.

    This openly gay man man is the father of a deceased service member?

    I’ll bet he claims to be a homeless veteran because he caught the PTSD in the Tenderloin.

    • Ret_25X says:

      I’m sure he catches lots of something in the “tenderloin”….LOL

      Odds are he is angry he can’t get the young studs anymore and he hates bobbing and leaning at Harry’s Swamp House (entrance in rear) which has no bath, but a small mud puddle with rancid “stuff” floating in it. He looks to be about 6 months to Denny’s Hog Farm (bend over and yell “Weeeeeeeee”)

      What a maroon.

      Think he knows Barfissar?

    • Green Thumb says:

      The reason he forgot was that he skipped a few classes during his advanced training at All-Points Logistics.

      Can you blame him?

      When a lot of your “classmates”, er, corporate recruits are outside smoking crack, shit, why not join the,

  26. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I wish my ex-Wife upon that turd burglar.

  27. HMC(FMF)Ret_87-10 says:

    Repost of my comments on MP:


    – Reading his Page 5 shows that he never was anything other than a wandering student/ trainee for just over two years.

    – He entered Machinist Mate “A” School Aug 81 and was reclassified into Electronics Tech “A” School in Jul 82. He is then again reclassified into Cryptologic Tech (Administrative) “A” School in Dec 82. Per the NA 13164 it appears that he did complete CT(A) training.

    – CT(A)’s were glorified Yoeman (YN) with a Security Clearance. They managed classified docs and acted as couriers…..THAT’S IT! The rate was merged with Yoeman on 01 OCT 2007.

    – His Page 5 shows that after CT(A) “A” School, he was released to an Navy ROTC Unit at Evanston IL (most likely Northwestern University) and then discharged 18 days later.

    – What this speaks to is that he most likely failed the background investigation for a TS clearance for the CT(A) rate.

    – Found this bit in an article announcing his arrest in in 2013……

    “Prior to his 2010 sentencing in a previous identity theft case, Hoffman sued then-Sheriff Michael Hennessey in federal court, alleging religious discrimination because sheriff’s deputies took away his yarmulke in jail.

    In the complaint filed in U.S. District Court, Hoffman said he was a U.S. Marine Corps lieutenant seriously injured in the U.S. embassy bombing in Beirut, Lebanon, and was paralyzed and in a wheelchair as a result.

    According to Bastian, Hoffman was not in a wheelchair when he was arrested this week, nor was he using one at the time of the alleged crimes.”

    “Identity Thief Scams SF Hotels Out Of Thousands Of Dollars” 20 NOV 2013 http://sfappeal.com/2013/11/identity-thief-scams-sf-hotels-out-of-thousands-of-dollars/

    – DUANE ALLEN HOFFMAN is a career, lying and thieving criminal who has nothing to his credit in life. He is a loathsome scourge on humanity who appears to take every opportunity to gain something of value by preying on others.

  28. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Duane Allen Hoffman briefly served in the US Navy.
    Duane Allen Hoffman looks like he has a 1000 yard meat gazer’s stare.
    Duane Allen Hoffman IS NOT a recipient of the navy Cross according to records found.
    Duane Allen Hoffman was never a USN Officer according to records found.
    Duane Allen Hoffman looks like he does tricks out behind Brucie’s bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
    Duane Allen Hoffman doesn’t even have an NDSM according to records found.
    Duane Allen Hoffman obviously doesn’t even know what fake rank to give himself.
    Duane Allen Hoffman HAS NEVER served overseas with the US Navy according to records found.
    Duane Allen Hoffman CLAIMS to have been beaten and robbed but has no credibility now.
    Duane Allen Hoffman grimaces like a gay lot lizard.
    Duane Allen Hoffman is more full of shit than ten million geese and twelve million seagulls.
    Duane Allen Hoffman has likely never even set foot in Lebanon.
    Duane Allen Hoffman has done time in jail.
    Duane Allen Hoffman looks like Bubba & Thor made him pick up the soap while he was in lockup.
    Duane Allen Hoffman CLAIMED that his Father was a Holocaust Survivor, likely to enhance some halfassed con game of his.
    Duane Allen Hoffman is SO fucked up that even his imaginary friends shun him.
    Duane Allen Hoffman comes up with some really half-assed sob stories.
    Duane Allen Hoffman likely couldn’t even mop a floor without setting a fire alarm off.
    Duane Allen Hoffman doesn’t know his own ass from a hole in the ground.
    Duane Allen Hoffman will now accumulate a bunch of Google hits®™ and wallow in Google fame as Duane Allen Hoffman suddenly realizes that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.
    How Copy,

  29. JustALurkinAround says:

    Two things amused me with his HS activities list:

    1. Fund Raising Committee – he’s still doing that with his virtual panhandling.

    2. Students for Government Action – he is about to experience that.

  30. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Duane Allen Hoffman loves to go BALLS DEEP with his lies about his short time in the Navy. Maybe he needs to practice his “panhandling skills” over at Brucies Bath House (entrance in the rear) where the clientele will make him feel right at home…

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      I bet that Duane Allen Hoffman also does tricks in the alley behind The Blue Oyster Bar as well!

  31. Anonymous says:


  32. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    Just-a-wanted to say again:

    Duane Allen Hoffman briefly served in the US Navy.
    Duane Allen Hoffman looks like he has a 1000 yard meat gazer’s stare.
    Duane Allen Hoffman IS NOT a recipient of the navy Cross according to records found.
    Duane Allen Hoffman was never a USN Officer according to records found.
    Duane Allen Hoffman looks like he does tricks out behind Brucie’s bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
    Duane Allen Hoffman doesn’t even have an NDSM according to records found.
    Duane Allen Hoffman obviously doesn’t even know what fake rank to give himself.
    Duane Allen Hoffman HAS NEVER served overseas with the US Navy according to records found.
    Duane Allen Hoffman CLAIMS to have been beaten and robbed but has no credibility now.
    Duane Allen Hoffman grimaces like a gay lot lizard.
    Duane Allen Hoffman is more full of shit than ten million geese and twelve million seagulls.
    Duane Allen Hoffman has likely never even set foot in Lebanon.
    Duane Allen Hoffman has done time in jail.
    Duane Allen Hoffman looks like Bubba & Thor made him pick up the soap while he was in lockup.
    Duane Allen Hoffman CLAIMED that his Father was a Holocaust Survivor, likely to enhance some halfassed con game of his.
    Duane Allen Hoffman is SO fucked up that even his imaginary friends shun him.
    Duane Allen Hoffman comes up with some really half-assed sob stories.
    Duane Allen Hoffman likely couldn’t even mop a floor without setting a fire alarm off.
    Duane Allen Hoffman doesn’t know his own ass from a hole in the ground.
    Duane Allen Hoffman will now accumulate a bunch of Google hits®™ and wallow in Google fame as Duane Allen Hoffman suddenly realizes that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.
    How Copy,

    Commo Check?

    • rgr769 says:

      Duane Allen Hoffman briefly served in the US Navy.
      Duane Allen Hoffman looks like he has a 1000 yard meat gazer’s stare.
      Duane Allen Hoffman IS NOT a recipient of the navy Cross according to records found.
      Duane Allen Hoffman was never a USN Officer according to records found.
      Duane Allen Hoffman looks like he does tricks out behind Brucie’s bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
      Duane Allen Hoffman doesn’t even have an NDSM according to records found.
      Duane Allen Hoffman obviously doesn’t even know what fake rank to give himself.
      Duane Allen Hoffman HAS NEVER served overseas with the US Navy according to records found.
      Duane Allen Hoffman CLAIMS to have been beaten and robbed but has no credibility now.
      Duane Allen Hoffman grimaces like a gay lot lizard.
      Duane Allen Hoffman is more full of shit than ten million geese and twelve million seagulls.
      Duane Allen Hoffman has likely never even set foot in Lebanon.
      Duane Allen Hoffman has done time in jail.
      Duane Allen Hoffman looks like Bubba & Thor made him pick up the soap while he was in lockup.
      Duane Allen Hoffman CLAIMED that his Father was a Holocaust Survivor, likely to enhance some halfassed con game of his.
      Duane Allen Hoffman is SO fucked up that even his imaginary friends shun him.
      Duane Allen Hoffman comes up with some really half-assed sob stories.
      Duane Allen Hoffman likely couldn’t even mop a floor without setting a fire alarm off.
      Duane Allen Hoffman doesn’t know his own ass from a hole in the ground.
      Duane Allen Hoffman will now accumulate a bunch of Google hits®™ and wallow in Google fame as Duane Allen Hoffman suddenly realizes that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.
      How Copy,
      (Lima Charlie, over)

      • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

        Duane Allen Hoffman briefly served in the US Navy.
        Duane Allen Hoffman looks like he has a 1000 yard meat gazer’s stare.
        Duane Allen Hoffman IS NOT a recipient of the navy Cross according to records found.
        Duane Allen Hoffman was never a USN Officer according to records found.
        Duane Allen Hoffman looks like he does tricks out behind Brucie’s bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
        Duane Allen Hoffman doesn’t even have an NDSM according to records found.
        Duane Allen Hoffman obviously doesn’t even know what fake rank to give himself.
        Duane Allen Hoffman HAS NEVER served overseas with the US Navy according to records found.
        Duane Allen Hoffman CLAIMS to have been beaten and robbed but has no credibility now.
        Duane Allen Hoffman grimaces like a gay lot lizard.
        Duane Allen Hoffman is more full of shit than ten million geese and twelve million seagulls.
        Duane Allen Hoffman has likely never even set foot in Lebanon.
        Duane Allen Hoffman has done time in jail.
        Duane Allen Hoffman looks like Bubba & Thor made him pick up the soap while he was in lockup.
        Duane Allen Hoffman CLAIMED that his Father was a Holocaust Survivor, likely to enhance some halfassed con game of his.
        Duane Allen Hoffman is SO fucked up that even his imaginary friends shun him.
        Duane Allen Hoffman comes up with some really half-assed sob stories.
        Duane Allen Hoffman likely couldn’t even mop a floor without setting a fire alarm off.
        Duane Allen Hoffman doesn’t know his own ass from a hole in the ground.
        Duane Allen Hoffman will now accumulate a bunch of Google hits®™ and wallow in Google fame as Duane Allen Hoffman suddenly realizes that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER.

        That is correct, Good Copy,


        • rgr769 says:

          I just googled the bastard, and TAH is not in the results, only Military Phonies, which is in number one position. I guess the algorithms or those soi ‘puter bois don’t like us.

  33. Blaster says:

    A quick google search of the Navy Cross recipient database shows that there was one Navy Cross awarded for Grenada and that was it between Viet Nam and the War on Terror. It was a quick search and I could be mistaken.

    If were going to lie, I think I’d at least research enough to be believable.

    What can I get for being a recipient of an Army Service Ribbon, Good Conduct Medal AND an NCOPD Ribbon??? I know,, I’m an overachiever!

    • Billy1214 says:

      Blaster, that would be Capt Jeb Franklin Seagle, USMC, of Lincolnton, NC. Cobra helicopter Pilot. KIA 10/25/83. I have visited his gravesite, it is surrounded in a tiny cemetery by other veteran’s graves also bearing the name “Seagle”. Rest in Peace, Sir.

      • Blaster says:

        That’s correct. I’m sure he has an awesome story! Navy Cross recipient must guarantee it.

        • USAFRetired says:

          The President of the United States of America takes pride in presenting the Navy Cross (Posthumously) to Captain Jeb F. Seagle, United States Marine Corps Reserve, for extraordinary heroism while serving as an AH-IT (TOW) Cobra Attack Helicopter Pilot with Marine Medium Helicopter Squadron TWO HUNDRED SIXTY-ONE (HMM-261), Twenty-Second Marine Amphibious Unit, conducting combat operations on the Island of Grenada in support of Operation URGENT FURY, on 25 October 1983. While conducting an armed reconnaissance mission in support of ground forces, Captain Seagle’s aircraft was hit by multiple anti-aircraft artillery projectiles and forced down behind enemy lines. Having been knocked out by the blast, Captain Seagle regained consciousness after his fellow pilot had flown the aircraft to impact and found that his aircraft was on fire and burning out of control. As Captain Seagle exited the front cockpit of the Cobra, he saw that the other pilot had been critically wounded and remained helplessly trapped in the aircraft. With complete disregard for his own safety, Captain Seagle courageously returned to the aircraft which was now engulfed in flames and pulled him out. As unexpended ordnance began to cook off all around them, Captain Seagle carried the severely wounded pilot well clear of the danger. Now exposed to heavy enemy small arms and machinegun fire and faced with certain death or capture, Captain Seagle ignored the danger and remained to attend the wounds of the injured pilot by wrapping a tourniquet around his severely bleeding arm. Realizing that enemy soldiers were approaching, Captain Seagle fearlessly distracted them away from the helpless pilot and ultimately sacrificed his own life in an effort to buy time for the rescue helicopter to arrive. By his extraordinary courage, uncommon valor, and loyal devotion to duty in the face of danger, Captain Seagle ensured his brother-in-arms was rescued; thereby reflecting great credit upon himself and upholding the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service. He gallantly gave his life for his country.

  34. 3/10/MED/b says:

    No coveted NDSM?


    3/10/MED/b out;

  35. MarineDad61 says:

    Serious question for admins, and everyone.

    I have been informed privately (in FakeBook PM),
    that 1 of this website’s most well known phonies
    is now in rapidly declining health,
    and may not be around long.

    Question — IF this phony comes clean now, or soon,
    does it rate Page X+1,
    describing his late willingness to finally confess and tell the truth?

    My response to the FakeBook PM (redacted):
    [Ok, thank you.
    Perhaps it’s time for [the phony] to tell everyone the truth.]
    [I only say that, because when health fails,
    some do come clean, to make good with God and man.
    Others take it to the grave,
    and leave behind family and friends to deal with it.]
    (end paste)

    Meaning, an opportunity to compel him to come clean is now underway.
    (Ok, it’s a male, not Phony Badoni nor Maggie DeSanti)

    Is there any precedent for deathbed confessions of Stolen Valor?

    • sbalm says:

      Admin does not take down posts. To come clean and apologize for lying should bring its own rewards, but one should never expect something. This is not dancing on someone’s grave, it is a matter of ensuring that the record is set straight.

      In theory, if one were to say that if they apologize their post comes down – it would prompt the following type of apology…

      “I’m sorry that TAH screwed up and got it wrong. Although I can see there were some minor, technical issues they were misled about which had them to draw the wrong conclusion about me, I forgive them, and I forgive all of those family and friends that were misled by all of this. Most of all, I forgive myself. But that doesn’t excuse my lack of due diligence. I should have gotten ol’ Crusty Diehard to draft up an account of what happened on the battlefield before he passed away… taking the story of my heroism with him.”

      Technically, it would fit the bill so then what’s next? Has to get past our BS flag?

      An apology with the expectation you should get something for it is for children.

      • MarineDad61 says:

        I agree.
        I never suggested a take down.
        I believe I was suggesting something more like a final chapter.
        IF we get something forthcoming that’s good,
        like a full apology and some truth, it could be mentioned.
        IF we get something bad (which is ALSO quite likely here),
        like he stands by his lying guns, or even lies worse,
        it could be a followup that the phony was willing to take it to the grave,
        screw his legacy,
        and in effect forever screw his family and friends.
        I don’t consider this dancing on the grave,
        especially if he’s an asshole with his final answer(s).

        (Which now, this morning, appears quite possible.)
        More soon, hopefully.

        • Green Thumb says:

          Might be a good way to protect or mitigate (if we wish to call it that) the phony’s history of bs claims from shaming their family(s) from beyond the grave.

          Just a thought.

    • OWB says:

      Guess I’m a bit confused about your question.

      It has always been the policy to say the truth around here. Not sure what difference it would make what he does or does not do, whether it is on his death bed or not. No reason to not acknowledge it either way.

      Take a brief pause IF the man is truly dying? Perhaps. His family deserves some uninterrupted final moments no matter how he lived his life. Intruding upon that should be done with extreme caution but probably not at all.

      • MarineDad61 says:

        My only real reference on all this is the history of BERNATH.
        There was no deathbed anything. Bernath saw to that.

        Others have been referenced in blog comments.
        I am unsure how many, if any, besides Bernath,
        have been referenced with a new Page X+1.

        I am keeping my own nose out of the phony’s state.
        That said, someone close to the phony PMed me, as described above.
        And, to my limited knowledge,
        someone is going to ask him about all this,
        in an effort to get him to be honest.
        That’s about all I can say, without tipping the identity.

        So, I asked here (sincerely) IF there is a precedent on deathbed revelations.

        Link to Bernath category.

        • OWB says:

          I don’t know of any who have come clean on their deathbeds. Several deaths have been reported and likely some efforts made to ensure that the truth was reported in the obit – but I have no first hand knowledge of that being done.

          Could have happened, but I don’t remember any. Also, could have happened and we just ever knew about it.

          So, no real help here. Perhaps others have better memories of those events actually occurring/not occurring.

    • Mustang Major says:

      Elko, NV, phony?

  36. rgr769 says:

    Surprise, surprise, Sgt. Carter!! Hoffman is a career fraudster, con-man, valor thief, and a fake Republican, plus a Gropey Joe and the Ho voter. Who could have suspected?

    Looks like someone had the idea to send him to some naval reserve officer training outfit for a month before he got the boot as an E-2 after two years and three months of service in CONUS only. What a hero.

  37. Peter Salvage says:

    I use tw(a)tter every day.
    There are many “vets” there.
    How do I keep them honest?
    What questions should I ask?

    • Hack Stone says:

      Look at their Facebook profile, if none of their friends ever served with them, they are probably posers. And all of their “military service photos” look like they were lifted from the internet, and you cannot clearly distinguish them in the photos, that is another dead giveaway. The final nail in the coffee is if the claim 20 plus years of service with numerous awards and decorations, yet have no photos of their retirement ceremony, well, you just might be dealing with a poser.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      Do you use your Blueberry to send a Twat?

  38. MarineDad61 says:

    New Twit. December 15, 8:11pm (4 hours ago).

    (end paste)

    Uhhh, yep
    Phony Beirut bombing victim Duane Allen Hoffman misspelled “Beruit”.


    • MarineDad61 says:

      Link to THIS page sent by FakeBook page “Send Message” PM to:
      – San Francisco Examiner
      – San Francisco Chronicle
      – Washington Jewish Week

      Message includes PayPalMe scheme,
      the federal Stolen Valor Act of 2013,
      the California Stolen Valor Act,
      and suggests that this may be a San Francisco PD or DA matter.

  39. Daisy Cutter says:


    Hmmm… I looked at this Tweet by Hoffman, but I could not find the disclaimer statement from Twitter stating:

    “This claim about the Beirut U.S. Embassy Bombing is disputed. Get the facts about the U.S. Embassy Bombing.”

    But, I may have missed it.


  40. Claw says:

    Subject at hand: Hoffman’s claim of being openly gay.

    Building on Hardin’s last line in the post of “The only currency he should be dealing with is cigarettes while he’s in the pokey.”, the following is submitted to the Chipster for possible inclusion to the HOI®™:

    “A pack a day smoker of the cock” (This line was blatantly stolen from Ace Of Spades)