Columbus Day Open Thread

| October 12, 2020

Portrait of Christopher Columbus with a spyglass. (Gettyimages/askmehow)

Christopher Columbus’s arrival started a chain reaction that would bring good to the Americas. This would lead to the English, French, and others bringing Western Civilization to North America. Attacks on Christopher Columbus statues, like the attacks on other historical statues, is a part of the overall attack against America, Christianity, conservatives, Western Civilization, etc.

Category: Open thread

Comments (71)

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  1. Hack Stone says:

    In the name of Queen Isabella of Spain, Hack Stone claims First Post for Columbus Day Open Thread.

    • 5th/77th FA says:

      You do realize, Hack Stone, that by claiming the FIRST on the Columbus Day Open Thread, this means that your statue will be defaced along with ol’ Chris’s? And if you don’t get the door replaced on the mailbox, the same Blue Bird of Happiness that craps on your statue, will build a nest in there and prevent the arrival of your mail in ballot requests.

  2. Wilted Willy says:

    But wasn’t he RACIST???

  3. LIRight47 says:

    Here’s an interesting article just received in an email about Columbus.

    “Five Myths About Columbus”

    (the original link is 182 characters – thus the “tiny” URL)

  4. KoB says:

    Since the Portland rioters don’t seem to have any Columbus or Confederate Statues, they were forced to substitute tearing down Teddy and Old Abe, all the while screeching about honoring “these colonizers.” Wonder if Larsie boi was there with his First Aid Kit?

    • Skippy says:

      Calling out the devil
      You are 😉

    • Commissar Pooper's Narcissism says:

      I am out of commission. It all started when I had this bright idea. It was hot, and I was down to my birthday suite because it was hot due to climate change. I placed a big balloon on my chair. Then, I plopped down for what should have been a very comfortable sitting experience.

      I was not prepared for what happened next. Before what happened dawned on me, my niece screamed from upstairs. I live in her basement. Her husband said fuck real loud. Then the dog barked loud and kept barking. Before I could do anything else, I heard them rushing down the stairs. My niece screamed again. Her husband asked what the fuck. The dog kept barking.

      My bottom stings, both my ears are ringing, and Mr. Pee Pee wants to be like me when I try to go against you guys.

  5. Sapper3307 says:


  6. AZRobert says:

    You got to give Columbus credit, he conned a woman out of some cash for a 3 boat vacation to meet other women and see the sights.

    The Playboys Hefner of his times, just no glossy pictures….

  7. Roh-Dog says:

    The noodled-armed SJW/BLM/anti-freedom set hate bold, strong men because those brave souls, righteous and mighty in their piety and deeds make the weaker, lesser feel like the wastes of skin that they are.
    Be bold my friends, with all your might fight those who “KNOW what’s best for you”!
    Columbus Day, now and forever!

  8. Fyrfighter says:

    Yeah, in Denver all the jackasses like Lars call it “Indigenous peoples day” or some such stupid shit… (you’ll also notice that in places like South Philly where Italians / the mob have a strong presence, there is NONE of this SJW bullshit…

    Fuck em all, and Happy Columbus Day!

    • Commissar says:

      Not exactly a jackass thing to do.

      Being triggered by it makes you the jackass.

      Columbus did not “discover” the Americas. That is an indisputable historic fact.

      He almost certainly was not even the first European to cross the Atlantic. Nor even the second, or third. Scandinavians had likely been occasionally crossing the Atlantic for 1000 years before Columbus did.

      His three voyages all ended in failure.

      In fact, on of his voyages ending in failure is likely his greatest achievement. By shipwrecking a crew on Hispaniola he inadvertently set the conditions for one of the first European settlements.

      Though, there is evidence to suggest Scandinavians had a few settlements prior.

      He didn’t accomplish nothing, but he didn’t accomplish anything he set out to do. And he was a terrible governor to boot.

      • Hack Stone says:

        So, if Columbus never set out to find a passage to India and arriving in the New World, no other Europeans would ever have crossed the Atlantic, and the Indigenous People would have been living in a Utopia, and they would independently make what is now known as America a world power.

        • Commissar says:

          If he hadn’t, others would, others had already done so.

          Your point seems to be that we can thank Columbus for the US being a superpower.

          The shear volume of bullshit you must consume to come to that conclusion is suffocating to imagine.

          If it had not been the Spaniards it would have been some other colonizer.

          But that is not the question is it?

          The question is should we be celebrating Columbus with a national holiday.

          Wouldn’t honoring the indigenous people of the “New World” be better.

          Especially since the US constitution owes some of its principle ideas to the Iroquois.

          • Poetrooper says:

            A Berkeley grad student doesn’t know shear from sheer?

            Doesn’t know shit from Shinola either…

          • Fyrfighter says:

            Actually, those that study history understand that Thanksgiving is a day in which we honor Native Americans, and their contributions that essentially saved the pilgrims and their settlements. I know details like that are no longer taught, since it’s all about “social justice”, but when teachers actually educated, it was all about the fact that those pilgrims would have starved if not for the help of the Indians.

          • Hack Stone says:

            Hack’s point exactly. If it was not Columbus, some other European would have arrived on these shores, and in the name of what country sponsored the expedition, claim it for them. Of course, the indigenous people of what is now North America could have sailed East across the Atlantic and conquered Europe. (not sure if Hack should tag that as sarcasm)

            • Ex-PH2 says:

              OH, you guys, you’ve forgotten something, haven’t you? Some little thing I learned in 5th grade, it was: Amerigo Vespucci was given credit for discovery of the North American continent and Columbus was not, because he had annoyed the Spanish government.

              So Isabella of Spain told Columbus that the New World was named America, for Amerigo Vespucci as the discoverer, instead of Colombia for Columbus.

              In fact, the entire western Atlantic continental land mass from north to south (including Central America) was designated “America” instead of Colombia.

              In re: the people who hate this country so much that they want to destroy it and its history: they can move to Mars and start over. No one will ever try to stop them. The atmosphere is thin, the gravity is 1/4 that of Earth, but there is frozen water (ice) and no one will really miss them. That’s what the British Crown did with its most annoying citizens: deported them to other continents, first North America, and then to Australia. And nobody really missed them.

              • Hack Stone says:

                Hack was taught that Amerigo Vespucci was just a map maker who attached his name to the New World, even though he never set foot on the continent. And since the continent was named using Vespucci’s name, if it was named after Columbus, would we be living in the United States of Christoper?

      • Fyrfighter says:

        Sorry sparky, unlike you, idiots being idiots doesn’t “trigger” me.. in fact only snowflake assholes like you get triggered by anything. I think it is merely another case of people with no lives, ashamed of themselves and the fact that they contribute nothing to society, finding something to be perpetually offended by. While much of what you say about Columbus is true, he is one of, if not the first that not only made it to the Americas, but brought back information about the voyage, the route, and what he found. While there is little question that Vikings did in fact precede him on this continent, they did NOT document the type of information about it that Columbus did, and the fact that he did paved the way for future expeditions and exploration. Of course if you’d been educated instead of indoctrinated, you’d already know that.

      • SFC D says:

        If by your use of the word “triggered” you mean “laughing at the ludicrous attempt by social justice howler monkeys (h/t nicki) such as yourself to mitigate your white man’s guilt”, then yes, we are all triggered. You are a fraud.

      • Fyrfighter says:

        “Not exactly a jackass thing to do.”.. Maybe not, but attacking, defacing, and attempting to destroy statues and plaques sure as hell is…But you already knew that.

  9. Keepin' It Real says:

    Maybe the SJWs will protest Columbus Day by going to work today?

    Now that would be something.

    • Roh-Dog says:

      I’m afraid there’s not enough EpiPens to save those blue haired black clad tyrants from the anaphylaxis sure to follow.
      It’d be a pity…

    • Commissar says:

      SJWs mostly do work on Columbus day.

      Only 21 states honor Columbus day with a paid day off.

      California, Oregon, and Washington do not.

      Almost nothing is closed on Columbus day in a California.

      State government is open. All businesses are open. Schools are open. Banks are open.

      Only federal employees take the day off.

      You all seriously live an an anachronistic bubble if you think Columbus Day is still regarded as a legitimate holiday by most of this country.

      • Hack Stone says:

        California does not observe Columbus Day, but they do have Cesar Chavez Day as a state holiday. No idea why they would make a holiday for the guy who portrayed The Joker on the Batman television show.

        • SFC D says:

          I always laugh whenever there’s a pro illegal-immigrant rally in Tucson and the LaRaza/MEChA folks proudly display pictures of Cesar Chavez. Mr. Chavez was about as anti illegal-immigration as a man could get. As in beat-them-with-pick-handles anti.

      • Fyrfighter says:

        “SJWs mostly do work on Columbus day.”…

        Wrong again.. Most of em don’t work at all, and only come out of moms basement for starbucks and to riot..

  10. 26Limabeans says:

    Saw a sign in a store this morning.
    “closed due to Columbus. Sorry for the inconvenience”

    It was a herbal nutrition store.

  11. FuzeVT says:

    Columbus day makes me think of that Sopranos episode where the guys are displeased with the Indian protest of Columbus. I need to re-watch that series! So good!

  12. Sparks says:

    Happy Columbus Day folks!

    And now in other news. Protestors take to streets in anguish over the racist violations of Christopher Columbus. Protests turn violent as looters leave off with X-Boxes, big-screen TVs, BluRay players, and boom boxes.

  13. Combat Historian says:

    If we use his Spanish name Cristobal Colon (he became a Spaniard later in his life), would that make it PC? After all, we’re supposed to genuflect and prostrate ourselves to everything Hispanic in this country, including its culture, language, illegal aliens, etc. Disrespecting a Hispanic person like Cristobal Colon would be a grave insult to all things Hispanic. Just sayin…

  14. Commissar says:

    Indigenous Peoples’ Day.

    • 26Limabeans says:

      You spelled ingenious wrong.

      • Commissar says:


        If that was meant as a slight, then that word does not mean what you seem to think it means.

        • SFC D says:

          Who exactly are the indigenous people of North America? Everyone here came from somewhere else, beginning with the “native” Americans. They didn’t just appear on the continent.

          • Ex-PH2 says:

            The “indigenous” peoples of the Americas crossed a land bridge from Siberia to Alaska by way of the Aleutian chain, while chasing game, during the last (Wisconsin) cold period. They didn’t evolve here. Some stayed in the north (the Aleut and Inuit), some went further, south following game and killed off a lot of large mammals in North America, and some went even further south into Central and South America.

            There’s plenty of DNA proof of that.

            There is no evidence to date that ANY Hominids of any kind evolved on any of the American continents, north, central or south. The only indigenous Americans here were the mastodons (died out), dire wolves (died out), condors, etc. There’s a long list of animal species that evolved in the Americas, but migrated west to Asia and Europe, e.g., equines (including donkeys), camels, etc., while bison evolved in Asia into several different species and some migrated eastward from Asia into Alaska and southward. But that goes way back, long before humans ever moved over here from northeastern Asia.

            So maybe we should be referring to today as “Migratory Species Day” instead of naming it after a mere human.

            • 11B-Mailclerk says:

              The descendants of immigrants, we are. Every last one of us Americans is of immigrant stock, all.

              So “native” means “born here”, as opposed to ” joined team”.

              And since some of my kin were here first, the SJW poo-flinging howler monkeys can kiss my “oppressed” ass.

          • BruteLarson407 says:

            I read an article recently in which it’s author defined indigenous people as(paraphrased), ‘people who were unsuccessful at defending their territory.’ I thought it summed up the word pretty well. Then I grabbed a set of binoculars and scanned 360 degrees on the horizontal.

    • Fyrfighter says:

      Sorry, that’s just made-up leftist bullshit, just like Kwanzaa… As CH points out above, with CC becoming a Spaniard later in life, and the leftist obsession with fealty to all things hispanic, shouldn’t you all be worshipping him??
      Then again, you all are used to circular “logic”, and intellectual contradictions never seem to bother you in the least.

  15. Berliner says:

    Sen Mazie Hirono D-Hawaii just addressed the Supreme Court nomination of Amy Coney Barrett. She brought up the subject of the “Affordable Hair Act”.

    Who isn’t for low cost hair cuts?

  16. OWB says:

    Happy Columbus Day to all.

    As painful as it is, been watching the confirmation hearing. It did not disappoint. A huge waste of, well, everything. Time none of us can ever get back. National resources that could much more meaningfully be directed to worthy causes. To say nothing of the possible years of counseling some of us must now endure to get over subjecting ourselves to the unending vitriol of the dems.

    What a hateful bunch of losers they are. Liars, uncouth heathens, disturbed and vacuous nutcases. Desperate, demented brats who demand attention constantly.

    As my daddy would say: if their cause is so worthy, why must they lie about it?

    • Fyrfighter says:

      Good points all OWB, though I thought the statement that ACB herself gave was fairly impressive.

      • OWB says:

        Ah, yes. That was among several notable moments. The delayed words from the law school dean were also quite moving, especially when she reminded everyone that she had also endorsed another female Supreme with equal enthusiasm.

        Interesting that the most significant statements were not from members of Congress? Well, with the possible exception of Sen Kennedy who addressed some of the lies the dems were spouting.

        Some interesting odd points were made. Like that she would be the only Justice ever seated who was not a graduate of either Harvard or Yale law schools. Wow. It’s about time.

    • Mason says:

      I enjoyed how Klobuchar spouted off a bunch of lies and then said that Trump doesn’t respect the truth.

  17. MarineDad61 says:

    Stolen Valor phony Vietnam dickhead Senator Dick Blumenthal
    leads off this video from this morning.

    [Senate Dems speak after first day of SCOTUS hearings]

  18. Sapper3307 says:

    Took my son to the range today, first firearm he ever shot was my Colt M4 with a Leopold CQB scope I bought and used on my last deployment (Tax deductible).

    • Roh-Dog says:

      I’m gonna go ‘head an’ say you’re a fan of TP on youztoobs.
      Eleven is a great age to get them on a rifle!

  19. 26Limabeans says:

    Is it just my monitor or does Christopher Columbus have orange hair?

  20. Devtun says:

    The mother of John McCain, Roberta McCain, has passed away at tender age of 108. Her husband ADM John S. McCain, Jr. died in 1981.

    • Fyrfighter says:


    • Mason says:

      Unbelievable life that lady led. She was married to the admiral for 48(!) years and survived him by another 39(!) years. Three kids, 12 grandkids, 16 great-grandchildren, and six great-great-grandchildren.

      I often marvel at how much a person who lives so long has seen, but just think for a second how incredible it would be to live long enough to see your grandchildren become grandparents! Talk about making you feel old.

  21. Green Thumb says:

    Indigenous People’s Day. Columbus Day. Whatever.

    The False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) could care less as he spends this day like all of the rest working hard stealing from the American Taxpayer based on his fake Native American, Navy SEAL and LEO claims.

  22. rgr1480 says:

    Anybody else remember singing this jody? I know the tune, but cannot find it on YouTube (surprise, eh?)

    “Christopher Columbus”

    In fourteen hundred and ninety-two,
    A Dago from Eye-tally,
    Walked the sunny streets of Spain,
    And shat in every ally.

    He knew the world was round, oh!
    He knew it could be found, oh!
    That navigating, masturbating,
    Son-of-a-bitch, Columbo.


    A girl ran from the alleyway,
    And who was that pursued her?
    The white of an egg ran down her leg,
    Columbus sure did screw her.


    He waltzed right up to the Queen of Spain
    Demanding ships and cargo.
    He said, “I’d be a son-of-a-bitch,
    If I don’t bring back Chicago.”


    The Queen she gave him three great ships
    They all were triple-deckers
    The Queen she waved her handkerchief
    Columbo waved his pecker


    For forty days and forty nights
    They sailed the broad Atlantic
    If not for the thought of a piece of ass
    The crew would have all gone frantic


    The captain had a cabin boy
    A dirty little nipper
    They packed his ass with broken glass
    And circumcised the skipper


    The captain had a minstrel man
    His names was Daniel Morgan
    The only tune that he could play
    Was on a sexual organ


    For 40 days and 40 nights,
    They sailed in search of booty.
    They spied a whore on a pagan shore,
    By God she was a beauty!

    Over the rails by heads and tails,
    Shedding their shirts and collars.
    In fourteen minutes by the clock,
    She made nine hundred dollars.

    He knew the world was round, oh!
    His pants were hanging down, oh!
    That flagellating, masturbating,
    Son-of-a-bitch, Columbo.

    Hmmmm …. there is a learned paper mentioning this ditty:

    T. S. Eliotʼs Bawdy Verse: Lulu, Bolo and More Ties


    The Columbo and Bolo verses are mostly octaves in alternating or irregular rhyme, and the first few stanzas are representative:

    “Columbo he lived over in Spain
    Where doctors are not many
    The only doctor in his town
    Was a bastard jew named Benny
    To Benny then Columbo went
    With countenance so placid
    And Benny filled Columboʼs prick
    With Muriatic Acid.”

    The next stanza ends:
    “The queen she took an oyster fork
    And pricked Columboʼs navel
    Columbo hoisted up his ass
    And shat upon the table.”

    The remaining stanzas contain mock heroics about the buggery and sexual antics of Christopher Columbus (Columbo), Queen Isabella, King Bolo, and his queen. The stanzas tell the narrative of Columbus cavorting with Queen Isabella, buggering his mates, discovering the same cultural behavior with King Bolo and his queen in the Cuban jungles, and returning to Spain for more whoring. It is in alarming contrast to the childrenʼs rhyme beginning “In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue,” the sentiments of which have now been exposed by the realities of genocide.


    Although Bolo is mostly [T.S.]Eliotʼs invention, Columbo is not. “A particular favorite at the Naval Academy and in the Fleet” is this version of Columbo, which begins:

    “In fourteen-hundred ninety-two, A Dago from Italy
    Was roaming through the streets of Spain, A-selling hot tamale.”

    The following comparison of two similar stanzas shows Eliotʼs slant:

    Colombo had a one-eyed mate
    He loved him like a brother
    And every night till very late,
    They shot craps with each other.
    For forty days and forty nights,
    They sailed the broad Atlantic
    And when they sighted Salvador
    The crew went well nigh frantic

    Now when they were three weeks at sea
    Columbo he grew rooty.
    He took his cock in both his hands
    And swore it was a beauty.
    The cabin boy appeared on deck
    And scampered up the mast-o
    Columbo grasped him by the balls
    nd buggered him in the ass-o.


    T.S. Bloody Eliot!!!!

  23. Devtun says:

    20th anniversary of the USS Cole bombing that killed 17 & wounded 37.

  24. Hack Stone says:

    Meanwhile, since it is a three day weekend, that means extra day of carnage in the streets of Chicago. 5 killed and 53 shot, and we are told if we just got rid of the police, it would be Utopia. Mayor Lightfoot is doing a heck of a job. Just keep voting Democrat.

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      She realized that her soft approach to destruction was not well-liked and people/voters announced plans to RECALL her sorry ass, so she stopped being “understanding” and “nice”, and also, I believe another election cycle is coming up next year. She may lose that precious job.

      I’m sure – sort of – that we may see same-same sort-of stuff in other cities before long.

      Oh, yeah – Italian-Americans are annoyed because Columbus Day is not being “honored” or observed properly, and they like being Guinneas and dagos and Wops, so there!!!