“Gunny” Ange – Truck Driving Marine Hero – Not So Fast

| July 9, 2020

I received a lot of inquiries about this guy recently.  He goes by Keli Ange (56 y/o) and a few refer to him as “Gunny” for some reason.

He was the company’s poster boy for Red Friday.

Ange was recently praised by his trucking company, Schneider National, as their 2020 “Ride of Pride” driver.  The article has since been removed from the website after the company started looking into the situation.  We can only conclude that what they discovered did not support what was posted.

So, just to recap, Ange claimed that:

  • He joined the Marines at 16 with approval from his parents
  • His mother was a retired two-star Marine Corps general
  • He became a USMC drill instructor
  • He trained to become a Reconnaissance Scout Sniper
  • He was badly injured in combat
  • He retired early after 22 years
  • He was called back to active duty again and was injured/wounded in 2005
  • As a result of these wounds, he became a disabled combat veteran and did 7 years of rehabilitation

We did a preliminary sweep for background on Ange, and found that he did in fact serve in the Marine Corps under his previous birth name of ‘Kelly Helmer Thompson.’

Since the National Personnel Records Center is operating under restrictions due to COVID-19, we will not get his official records back until they clear out the backlog of pending requests.   We are posting this because there are some doubts about the claims.  We could not find any other active duty service in DoD Manpower Data Center (SCRA) for Thompson.  That said, this database is not 100% reliable when it comes to reserve service and he did say he was recalled to active duty in 2005.  This is rare to pull a retiree back on active duty unless there is some special skillset needed.

His prior addresses do not support living near a Marine Corps base, but he could have been in the Reserve and the address records do not go that far back, but certainly, they encompass some of the time he claimed to have served in the USMC.

In 1995, when he was convicted of theft, he went by the name ‘Kelly Helmer Thompson.’  In 2009, he pled guilty to “Intimidate/Threat/Harass W/Phone (Dv)” and went by the name “Keli Ange.” A “Disorderly Conduct – Disturbance (Dv)” charge was dropped with having the same date. I suspect he pled down to a lesser charge.  In 2004, he was found guilty of fishing without a license and went by the name “Kelly H. Thompson” so he changed his name somewhere between 2004 and 2009.

His aliases are listed as: Keri H Thompson, Kelly Helmer Thompson, Kelly Heimer Thompson, Kelly H Thompson, Kelly H Thompson, Kelly Thompson, Keli Heimer Thompson, Keli Heimer Thompson, Keli Heimer Thompson, and Keli F Ange.

Several Marine Recon types, one an instructor, doubted Ange’s claim of being a recon/sniper due to never hearing of him.

A photo of him in 2007 taken from his Flickr account (muscleup71) shows a neck tattoo which is a no-no in the Marine Corps.  Perhaps he got the tattoo after he got out of the Marines?

Then, there is the claim about his mother being a two-star Marine Corps general.  Ange’s mother died in 2008 and her burial records show…

… her burial records show… that she was a homemaker with a High School education.  That seems to be a far cry from claims that she attained the rank of a two-star Marine Corps general without having a college degree.    She apparently was more proud of being a ‘homemaker’ than a retired ‘two-star Marine Corps general.’  There is no reason whatsoever that any woman should not be proud of raising her family above all else.  But, one would think a mention of something trivial like her being one of only a small handful of women to ever become a Marine Corps General could be found.

I can find no listing for her in that very, very small group.

I certainly don’t mean to disparage the mother at all, but Keli or Kelly brought her into the story.

There are just so many red flags with this entire case that it was difficult to wait for his records to come back from the NPRC – not knowing when the NPRC returns to full service.  We have also filed with the USMC to account for service beyond the mid-1990s, but we suspect that will be returned as a referral to NPRC.

At this point, it is safe to say that it is incumbent upon Ange/Thompson to prove his claims.  From what we gathered, and admit don’t have the full picture, it doesn’t look good.

The fact is,  he is a Veteran and a Marine.  Why he is spewing all this other grabasstic nonsense about his service is beyond me.  He served when most wouldn’t.  I suspect he should have just been proud of what he actually did do instead of embellishing his service beyond recognition.

 

 

Category: Combat Wounded, Marine Corps, Marine Corps Poser, Marine Recon, sniper, Valor Vultures

Comments (85)

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  1. MarineDad61 says:

    (1st)
    Holy Crap.
    Semper Fry his ass.

  2. E4 Mafia '83-'87 says:

    Shocked faced!!! If its not the “a buddy dying in my arms” its the “recalled to active duty” story. Mom was 2-star general gets points for originality.
    Sounds like a playground taunt. “You Momma so weak, she retiresd as a light colonel.”

  3. Ret_25X says:

    wow….what a walking ball sack.

    he has a beard to hide the fact that he is a Ballchinian.

  4. Bim says:

    Funny, his LinkdIn account shows that he now works for a different trucking company… http://linkedin.com/in/keli-ange-7b866b163

    • Hack Stone says:

      Definitely SWIFT Trucking material.

      • Green Thumb says:

        Probably trains driver’s for All-Points Logistics in Merritt Island, FL.

        I can also imagine that he was handpicked by the False Commander “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) nefarious senior staff.

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        Serving TAD under that paragon of Naval Officers J Skerry? How about JB Kunt? Or their baby sister P.A.M? Poor Schneider, they’re like Rodney Dangerfield, get no respect. Some of our deplorables that are drivers have told/heard the old joke about, “What do you call a truck driver with AIDS?” A National Carrier! (Schneider’s Logo/Motto)

        What a tool! Welcome to your Goggle Fame there Kelly Helmer Thompson or whatever alias you using now. Look forward to seeing the official FOIA on your lying, embellishing ass. I guess using that fuzzy math that we talked about the other day makes nearly 4 years equal to 22 years. And as sorry of a human being that you have been, when yo Mama crawled your lying embellishing ass she prolly came off as a 2 Star Marine General. You being a dipsh^t mighta been what help put her in a fairly early grave. She has my sympathy, you?… not at all. ESAD mofo!

        • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

          JB HUNT – Jim Bob Has Underspeed Neutered Trucks
          Schneider – German for JB Hunt or Swift
          SWIFT – Student With Idiot For trainer, Sure Wish I Finished Training, Slow Wagon In Fast Traffic, See What I Fucked Today,…

        • Ret_25X says:

          What do you have when 30 Hunt drivers have a meeting?

          One month experience…

      • xyzzy says:

        Stevie Wonder Institute For Trucking
        Sure Wish I Finished Training

  5. Steve 1371 says:

    Just that list of achievements at the beginning is enough to tell me he is full of shit clear up to his eyes.

  6. Anonymous says:

    If you’re gonna lie, make up some believable sh*t. Just sayin’.

    • MI Ranger says:

      Something like:
      I was an Army cook, but had to work as a company clerk when we deployed because the contractors ran the Chow Halls.
      I got awarded an ARCOM for being in charge of six KPs when my unit sat off the coast of Haiti on a Navy Ship.
      My unit deployed to NTC over four times, and won at least once.

  7. Hondo says:

    Interesting that he didn’t complete a full 4 year enlistment – he was released about 6 mo early. I thought the mid/late-1980s USMC insisted on a full 4 years for first-termers during that time frame.

    I’d love to know the “why” for that early discharge. It’s before the collapse of the Warsaw Pact, so it is NOT due to post-Cold War force reductions.

    There are some decent reasons (e.g., compassionate or medical discharges) that could explain the apparent early discharge. However, there are other “not so decent” reasons as well.

  8. Chad says:

    I’m wondering what his actual MOS was??? Bulk Fuel or Motor T??😂

    • Hack Stone says:

      His primary MOS was pulling targets on the hand grenade range. Every command has some shitty assignment to place their less than stellar performers to minimize their negative impact on metrics and morale. At 1st Electronics Maintenance Company, we hid them in the ELMACO warehouse, which was an old Quonset Hut holding obsolete material. The primary function there was ensuring that the shelves did not collapse from the accumulation of dust on the WWI vintage equipment.

      • Green Thumb says:

        Usually for us we always had platoon/squads on detail rotation that did these things.

        Some details are better than other for sure.

    • JBUSMC says:

      3531. The only real MOS.

      • 26Limabeans says:

        Job Detail

        “Motor vehicle operators operate motor transport tactical wheeled vehicles and equipment transporting passengers and cargo in support of combat and garrison operations. They also perform crew/operator level maintenance and maintain all associated tools and equipment for assigned vehicles and equipment, to rated capacity, of which licensed to operate”

        Also needs to be Scout/Sniper qualified with Drill Instructer experience.

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      During my AD Army days, Gym or Library attendent Duty was how we got rid of substandard slugs.

    • Green Thumb says:

      Manhole Inspector.

  9. 26Limabeans says:

    I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and give him the
    benefit of the doubt until I can clear this massive
    fart coming on.

  10. McNasty says:

    His prev posted bio claims he was driving for this trucking company, then “called out of retirement” which we all know is BS. He was wounded again and spent 7yrs rehabbing, then returned to the same trucking co.

    I wonder what they’ll think when they find out he really just quit for a better job lol.

    • MI Ranger says:

      Did anyone check to see if he did his “rehab” in a county, state, or federal facility that usually has better fences than military posts?

  11. Trapperfrank says:

    Leg jarhead

  12. M48DAT says:

    I was saved by a ‘chopper medic’ while patrolling the ‘hell zone’. It was right before my 22 year early retirement. Gotta go, I hear my wife Morgan Fairchild calling me.

  13. Andy11M says:

    Mom was a 2 star huh? That’s a new one. That’s a rare thing, especially in the Marines, for a woman to have two stars. I’m sure a google search of her name and the right search words returns…..nothing.
    I always find it funny the guys like “Gunny” here, their lust for recognition is always what undoes them.

    • Hack Stone says:

      You would think that a Major General in The Marine Corps would know that the minimum Enlistment age (with parental consent) is 17 years of age. And can you imagine being a Drill Instructor with a 16 year old recruit who had a Major General for a parent? Pretty sure everyone in that Platoon would still be talking about it today.

      • Andy11M says:

        Hack, you can join at 16, the catch is you have to be 17 when you finish training,as it was explained to me, this is a rule mainly meant for high school kids that want to join the Guard or Reserves and go to basic the summer between 11th and 12th grade on a split option contract, as many are still 16, but I had several NCOs I served with who had done recruiting duty tell me they did active duty contracts for kids using this rule/regulation.
        Still doesn’t change the fact that Wanna be Gunny is a liar.

        • Hack Stone says:

          That may be for Army Reserve and/or National Guard, but that was not the policy in The Marine Corps when Hack was on Recruiting Duty back in the late 1980’s.

      • Mason says:

        We had a guy in my AF basic flight that was able to keep it a secret both of his parents were E-9s. One was a command chief. Couple days before graduation they come to the squadron wanting to see their son. TI (what we call drill sergeants) was none too pleased he’d been holding out on them that he was blood of enlisted royalty.

        • MI Ranger says:

          We had one in our Basic Airborne Training class. He was the quite kid who always just said roger, that and did it. Just well enough to not need retraining but not superb. As you get close to graduation, the Jump Masters ask if anyone has someone that is Airborne qualified that plans to attend graduation.
          The kid says yes, his father is airborne qualified and would like to attend. Another kid said his parent also is airborne. The Black Hat reminds them that only active duty can request to jump with them, and ask for their name and rank. The Ones is an E-7 that works down the street, and this kid says his dad is an officer but he doesn’t know what rank. The day before the jump day the Black Hats found out they need to make accommodations for a General Officer…I think he was a COL that had just got promoted so maybe the kid was trying not to say he was an General when he had not got promoted yet.

        • Green Thumb says:

          I have several dudes like that in my courses over the years.

          Many were good dudes that tried to hide; a very few not so much.

          Problem was the cadre a lot of times. They did their research for the reasons you mentioned above. And not for just active duty parents, but senior state officials, celebrities, etc.

          Then cadre kissed their ass half the time thus “hooking” them up while the rest had to earn the graduation, etc. Them dudes usually became Honor Grads.
          As stated, most of the dudes did their best to kick in an help and be one of the “boys”. But cadre always seemed to make life easy for them thus attempting to create a wedge.

          • Jack says:

            When my son went to basic I told him, do not let them know your dad is a 06. I wanted him to get the full experience every other soldier was going through, it worked until graduation…

        • Hack Stone says:

          Same thing happened with a Recruit we picked up during some time in 2nd or 3rd Phase. He was an odd fellow, but set the Series Range Record. Night before graduation, Senior DI found out that his father was a Master Gunnery Sergeant. “WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOUR FATHER IS A MASTER GUNNERY SERGEANT?!!!” The kid replied “He’s retired. I didn’t think it mattered.”

        • Ret_25X says:

          My kids had to deal with the E9 dad in BCT and AIT…I told them to keep their mouths shut.

          Graduation was a hoot.

          When I reclassed from Infantry to Signal, no one seemed to notice I had the same name as a street on Fort Gordon.

          But in BNCOC, we went to the museum and I was standing next to a picture of the individual the street is named for…it was then that the CSM of the NCO Academy noticed. “He looks like he could be your grandfather!”…”Great grandfather, actually, CSM” “Let’s keep this our little secret…life is tough enough without name association to a deceased hero of the Regiment”…Got a good laugh out of that one.

          In truth, I never knew him, never heard anyone in the family talk about him, and didn’t really know I was related until my father told the story of how he ran off to enlist in Union Army and never came home to the farm….an unpardonable sin, I guess…

          Now, 20+ years later, I made my own name in the Signal Corps…and retired and moved on. Still get invites to all of the events, though.

          smh…

  14. Daisy Cutter says:

    Sometimes you just have to stay in your lane.

    Life may appear better in the fast lane but many times it does not work out for you.

    Agne should have slammed on the brakes when the company used his feel-good story for marketing purposes.

    Hope you all enjoyed my truck driving metaphors.

  15. IS1 (SW) says:

    This is the Julius Caesar of buttplugs.

    Cocksucker.

  16. Jay says:

    Dear Lord….I have NEVER heard of a retired Gunny still referring to themselves as “Gunny” in the civilian life. As a retired GySgt myself, this offends me. Also given the fact this dude looks like a stick of fucking melted butter, he is not exactly a ringing endorsement of the blue benefit tag of Physical Fitness.

    A little Google Research shows me a whopping SEVEN women have ever held the general grade of officer in the Corps. 2 are still active, so that wipes them out. Mutter and Wilson retired as 3-stars…so nope. Which leaves Angela Salinas and Tracy Garrett. Given he was born in round about…..67 or so….that would make the both of them too young to be mommy dearest.

    In summation, the guy is an asshole. I’d say fuck him, but with that come hither smile, he might enjoy it too much.

    • Hack Stone says:

      As a retired GySgt, Hack Stone never refers to himself as Gunny. He is too busy referring to himself in the third person. Hack Stone also likes Kung Pao spicy.

    • McNasty says:

      I was TAD to Guam from my DC HQ, and was working in the Navy Emergency Operations Center. The EOC Manager (mid grade GS type) says “Everyone just calls me Top. You know, it was my Army rank”. I said, “Uhhhh, do you want to call me Senior Chief?”. I don’t get it.

  17. Keepin' It Real says:

    Ange’s only “Ride of Pride” going forward will be on a metaphorical Barbed Cock of Satan or Bubba’s Johnson.

  18. Steve Balm says:

    I don’t think he should lose his job.

    I think they should make him drive around in a truck with the huge letters spelling out “I LIED ABOUT MY MILITARY SERVICE” and “I LIED ABOUT MY MOM’S MILITARY SERVICE.”

    • MarineDad61 says:

      Steve Balm,
      And/Or, a standard orange Schneider truck
      with:
      Marine Veteran – 3 years 5 months.
      That way, all the other truckers can ask the obvious.
      🙂

    • Mason says:

      If people are losing their jobs over rants about face masks that don’t even tangentially involve their work, then this neckbeard should be on the breadline.

  19. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    That grabasstic disorganized walking gob of used fry grease looks like he never met an all you can eat buffet he never liked. When I was over the road, the word “Schneider” was considered German for “JB Hunt”

  20. OWB says:

    What a lying PoS. While there are various legitimate reasons to change a name, there is no good reason for so many AKAs. Obviously hiding stuff he is.

    And if you are hiding yourself and/or your past, wouldn’t keep a slightly lower profile? Well, sane people would but most of those same sane people wouldn’t tell such tall tales.

    • Hack Stone says:

      He sure gets around a lot. With all of those relocations, you would think that he was dodging creditors, probation officers, and child support subpoenas.

  21. Ex-PH2 says:

    “He was badly injured in combat…”

    … in combat with his flashlight acting as a light sabre when he fell on the mirror he’d hung in the garage.
    … in combat with someone at Walmart, fighting over that last chuck roast in the meat bin, marked down from $2.24/lb to $2.23/lb. Dammit, he was gonna have and not let that old gasbag take it home!

    … in combat with the squirrels in his neighborhood throwing things at him and stealing his three tomatoes on that pathetic plant next to the front door.

  22. sbalm says:

    Anyone have an opinion on the “Less than 100%” Stolen Valor blogs?

    This is the best that can be done in the age of COVID-19 – a collection of circumstantial facts to create a preponderance of the evidence.

    It’s messy, but the burden is to produce enough evidence that is persuasive enough to establish a fact pattern that demonstrates inconsistencies in the story.

    The door has to be left open for the person to be given some benefit of the doubt. At some point, there is enough doubt generated that the person should answer some questions about their military service claims.

    Ultimately, time will tell once the backlog at NPRC starts to flow again.

    • 5th/77th FA says:

      Bring ’em. Takes some of the edge off during the drought. The attention to detail to nail down the phoniness and have the indisputable evidence for their asshattery is appreciated. The ones you have brought forward of late has enough evidence to prove the embellishment of service which, in my opinion, is worse than outright stolen Valor.

      Keep up the good work, we’ll be right here.

      • sbalm says:

        Thanks for the input. The side effect is the blogs would tend to be longer to build up the case and there can be no definitive statements pending getting the actual service records.

    • OWB says:

      Good enough in a case such as this one. Understandable that many you would not want to post prematurely.

      We can live with it either way. Mostly, just protect your backsides. Maybe you could have some almost publishable but waiting for the final bit of evidence to confirm what is already known?

      Do whacha gotta.

    • Mason says:

      Keep it coming. The light of day is the only way to keep the cockroaches from hiding.

  23. More names than Carter has Liver pills.

  24. JarHead Pat says:

    I stopped reading after seeing the words Scout/Sniper and or Recon..sigh

  25. Daisy Cutter says:

    Rumor has it that Ange’s nickname changed from “Gunny” to “Diesel Weasel” after the blow back.

  26. A Proud Infidel®™ says:

    I heard rumor that his account at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the rear) has been turned over to a collection agency.

  27. Carlton G Long says:

    Looks like he changed his motto to “Semper Fudge.” And while I would never disparage an honest job, the veterans I know who got into OTR trucking snicker at the mention of anyone driving for Schneider.

    Great beard, though.

  28. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    Looks like his next job will be as a Junior Associate Apprentice Towel Fluffer over at Brucies Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).

    Dude is fucked up worse than a soup sandwich…

  29. IDC SARC says:

    Bitch

  30. Skippy says:

    Idiot and a fuking Moron
    Enjoy your fame turd

  31. HMC(FMF)Ret_87-10 says:

    1) In addition to the already mentioned DOMESTIC VIOLENCE charges out of Arizona, I pulled these gems:

    a.) Minnesota
    GM INTENT TO ESCAPE TAX – Convicted
    UNAUTH USE # PLATE STICKER – Dismissed
    MISD DRIVING AFTER REVOCATION – Dismissed
    MISD DRIVING AFTER SUSPENSION – Dismissed
    MISD FAIL PROD PROOF INSURANCE – Dismissed
    MISD TRAFFIC CONTROL/ SIGNAL VIOLATION – Dismissed
    MISD EXP REG – Dismissed
    MISD DRIVING AFTER SUSPENSION – Guilty
    MISD NON-OWNER OPERATING W/O INSURANCE – Dismissed
    MISD DRIVING AFTER SUSPENSION M – VOP – Guilty

    b.) Iowa:
    THEFT 5TH DEGREE, UNDER $50.00 (BAD CHECK) – GUILTY PLEA
    PASSING NEAR BRIDGE, INTERSECTION OR RR CROSSING – GUILTY PLEA

    2) I also found addresses from 1988/ 89 to all be in MN and nothing that would support active duty USMC bases/ units.

    3) If he loses his trucking gig, I wonder how he will get his fill of Lady-Boy Lot Lizards? Oh well….there’s always an opening out back of the Bath House!

  32. DukeYukon says:

    Wow. To bring your own deceased mom in on the lies…