A Fake Captain

No, no, no… that that *kind* of captain. This is a *real* fake captain.

Internet sensation ‘Big Balls’ has nothing on this guy. He steals both a ship and the *entire* crew, although they did turn him in when they sensed something was suspicious… you know, as in he wasn’t their regular captain.

Fake captain steals $8 million fishing vessel
by Carli Stewart | News West Coast & Pacific | 26 Feb 2025

In a bizarre turn of events, an imposter managed to steal an 80-foot commercial fishing vessel while the crew was still on board.

According to the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife (WDFW) Police, the unauthorized skipper took command of the Jamie Marie, an $8 million groundfish vessel, and set off into the Grays Harbor bar before the crew caught on to his deception.

WDFW Sergent Alexander was on patrol in Westport when he overheard a radio call about a “vehicle theft” that was in progress. However, it wasn’t a stolen car or motorcycle, it was a full-scale vessel heist. The suspect has reportedly boarded the Jamie Marie, woken up the crew, and informed them they needed to get underway. For the newer crew members, unfamiliar with the real captain, there wasn’t an immediate cause for suspicion. According to KIRO 7, they assumed he was either an alternate captain or someone sent by the real captain.

It didn’t take long for the imposter to raise red flags. While he “surely acted the part” of a seasoned skipper, according to the police, his conversation gave him away. Instead of discussing fishing plans or routes, he spoke about meeting a so-called “Chinese Mothership.” It made enough fuss for the crew to call their real captain and expose the imposter.

The suspect eventually turned the vessel back to port, where he was met by the Westport police and promptly taken into custody. Authorities found $4000 in cash and a large quantity of individually weighed and packaged marijuana in his possession.

As the investigation unfolded, police discovered that wasn’t his first attempt. Earlier that morning, he had boarded another large vessel, managed to start the main engines, and attempted to convince the crew to head to sea. That attempt ended with the crew running him off the boat, though they didn’t report the incident until after news of the Jamie Marie theft spread.

The suspect was booked by the Westport Police Department on multiple charges, including theft, stolen property, vehicle prowling, and drug-related offenses.

A false rumor has it that he yelled out at the height of theft climax: “Who’s the captain of your ship? Say it! Say my name!”

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