John David Guess; phony USMC General
Dave Hardin wrote about John David Guess back in January when he was pretending to be a Marine Corps colonel. I guess that Guess promoted himself to General, at least at USAA, and he’s still at it, according to witnesses;
He claims that he retired after 35 years, but the Marine Corps just could not do without him, so they called him back to duty earlier this year. He also told folks that he has, not one, but three Navy Crosses for his duty in the GWOT, along with three Purple Hearts. Someone should tell the Defense Department;
He was a corporal in the USMC Reserves way back in the early 80s with active duty only for training, the rest of his time was spent at his Reserve unit on weekends;
The only medal he earned was the Organized Marine Corps Reserve Medal for four years of service in the Reserves. I guess that’s as good as being a general and three Navy Crosses.
Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures
What not enough Medals to go over your shoulder and onto your back.
Half Assed. If you are going to look like a NORK General then go all the way.
Retired General driving 10-15 year old Toyota’s. Yeah, right. (And not EVEN going to ask how you got the copy of the statement).
I could put General on MY USAA car insurance page as well (since they require nothing but your word), but for the fact that I’m not a douche like this guy.
When I got promoted to E8, USAA started addressing my mail to MG! Took about four calls to fix that.
Though I doubt that is the case here.
Cocksukcing assclown = JOHN DAVID GUESS.
My guess is he promoted himself rather than learn how to wear those eagle properly. Cockeyed stars are a little less obvious to the casual observer.
Oh FFS; not this guy again.
I just took a closer look at the photo posted above. He’s wearing Naval Aviator wings and an Air Medal with Combat ‘V’, and it looks like there may also be a Distinguished Flying Cross with Combat ‘V’ underneath the left collar point of his Navy-issue khaki shirt just above that bogus Purple Heart with Gold Star.
I would like to know what type/model/series of Marine Corps aircraft this turd claims to have flown. I could use a good laugh today.
What an assclown.
And you gotta love the co sunglasses!!!!
Eagles should face forward… not like he couldn’t get two opposed ones, but he’s got ’em reversed.
He also has those eagles oriented on his collar like a Navy Captain.
Geez, Chesty set the bar at five – this clown needs to step his game up…
A General ???
He’d better go back to “Mind Flo Ness” with the lizard…
What a clown. I would be totally convinced with his story if not for the Fleet Marine Force Ribbon (only awarded to Sailors) and the Marine Corps Reserve Ribbon (which stopped being awarded in 1965) that he’s wearing.
That FMF ribbon is also sporting a star or some device…no devices are authorized on an FMF ribbon.
Probably the Fleet Marine Force Combat Operation Insignia, another device awarded only to Sailors. He likely assumed that the insignia and the ribbon must be connected.
yeah, I sported a couple of those…looked kinda shiny for that.
That one can be tricky, it’s authorized for certain campaign medals and the AFEM, but not the Navy Expeditionary Medal, ever…had to correct a few of my Sailors on that before.
Spread rumor that USAA is going to apply surcharge commensurate with rank, much like service birthday balls….he’ll be back to corporal ASAP
Not being a Marine, I can only get out of the way of the thundering herd of real Marines wanting to pound this guy, but for Pete’s sake, does he really have to be such an obnoxious wad of drek?
Just askin’. I will never understand these people, but they are on the same level of attention whores that HWSNBNd occupies.
Wearing such a costume I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t apply for an NEA grant to support his pursuit of the performing arts.
But can he also sing and dance?
well…the NEA has given grants to “Performance Artists” that simply shit on stage, so I don’t think song and dance are actually a requirement.
The NEA should be gone by now. How long has Donald been in office?
I’m surprised that this fine outstanding individual didn’t go with this insurance company that is more befitting of his rank. (/s)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bppVAcAiOEY
Isn’t he also missing a “continued on other side” plaque above his medals? I heard they just got a new shipment of them in at Medals Of America.
This guy is apparently running for Soup Sandwich’s now vacant position. What a ribbon train wreck!
His one man chain of command was evidently grossly inefficient.
Finally some moron one upped the other assholes and promoted himself to general. Wonder what took so long.
I just compared my USAA statement to this finery. The fonts don’t match. This looks forged. USAA’s statements use a darker and more bolder font on the address field than what this statement has.
I’m not so sure. I just looked at my latest USAA insurance statement and the font for my name and address is almost identical – maybe a tiny bit darker but that could be a normal variation.
Hmmm.
He has a credit on his car insurance, so that’s probably the only thing he has going for him. At least he’s paying his bills.
Beyond that…
In light of this new development, I propose that the full Wall O’ Insults be deployed.
Second!
I vote “yay” and recommend the motion be passed.
Alrighty I have been preempted and I’m not even North Korea but I’ll have to lay down an unexpected first strike. Per the Roberts Rules of TAH, a request for the Wall of Insults®™ has been received (as opposed to my initiating the request.) We already have IDC SARC Seconding the motion and then not specifically, USMCMSgt (Ret), voted “Yay” and concurs that they motion be passed, (Which I’ll allow as an “AYE” vote and only one is needed so…… NOTING that John David Guess has appeared at TAH twice and John David Guess is a complete phony and GOOGLE will love John David Guess AND the beginings of the “Baby” Wall of Insults®™ was deployed in February, BUT since John David Guess has decided to go FULL SHITBAG, we will deploy the NEW and IMPROVED Wall of Insults®™ II for John David Guess BEND OVER YOU LYING SACK OF AIDS MONKEY RECTAL DRIPPINGS Wall of Insults®™ FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!! TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!! DANGER CLOSE!!!! MOPP LEVEL 4!!! TAKE COVER!!!!! John David Guess, is NOT a Marine General, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken fucker, moral equivalent of pond scum, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spoo Sampler, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, tit, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should… Read more »
BOOM!
God I luv the smell of smoldering poser in the morning. It reminds me of victory.
Damn! That’s gonna leave a bruise!
“AYE” (fuggin’ spellcheck got me).
Hey ChipNASA, you forgot “Nut Jam Connoisseur”!
That is one nicely tailored blouse.
It’s also Navy-issue.
It’s not a USMC Summer Service ‘C’ shirt.
He’s an assclown through-and-through.
O6 to O10. Now that’s high speed low drag esp considering the Marines don’t have that many O10 billets.
That’s all it take? Hell, if I’d known that I’d have gotten out after my first enlistment and then promoted myself to MSgt instead of doing it the hard, and long way. (Maybe even MGySgt)
You son of a bitch…
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Shack!
I’m guessing this guy is a psychiatric case.
I wonder if he’s receiving mental health treatment at his local Department of Veterans Affairs Medical Center?
Isn’t impersonating a military officer a federal felony?
If so, isn’t that sufficient justification to have this guy (and others like him) arrested and involuntarily committed by a court for mental health treatment?
Mattis, just for his own amusement, should recall this guy to be his aide…
Wow, enough time to get a GCM with a silver star AND still made it to General. Impressive!
Asshole.
Highway Rest Stop Men’s Room Toe-tapper…
Gee Willikers, he looks like a General Disaster with all that stuff on. By the way, I don’t see the little “RUPTURED DUCK” like my Dad wore on his uniform when he was separated from Batt. I, 245 Coast Arty. when WW2 ended.
I could see him working at the reception desk at All-Points Logistics.
kinda dressed up to be the doorman.
Position previously held by General Ballduster McSoulpatch.
Is there a Poser-Con held anywhere….kinda heelarious to think of all these a-holes gathered up together out-posering each other.
So, all it takes is a statement from USAA to become a General? That sounds easy enough…
Pasty-Face Spit Licker.
“Better get Geico.”
They’ll screw you without regard to rank.
Or all those other things we’re all supposed to disregard these days.
He not even old enough moron-to much few good men!
Oh by the way that is a major cover- 05 and 06 wear silver scrambled eggs.
Not in the Marine Corps.
Marine Corps field grade and general officers have gold ‘scrambled eggs’ on the visors of their dress and service covers.
He looks like the type that enjoys tasting flesh pickles in his spare time.
These jackwaggons aren’t even trying anymore. I’ve decided if I ever try to steal valor I’m thinking outside the box.
Commodore in the Swiss Navy sounds pretty good.
jack Nicholson’s son maybe
This guy’s uniform is jacked up.
Appears as a USMC 0-6 he wears USN Officer Fleet Marine Qualification. That is for USN officers ONLY who are assigned to and in direct support of USMC command (FMFQO Policy Oct 2005). Enlisted have same, EEFMFWS (2010) but it is pewter. This Warfare pin is difficult to attain with lengthy didactic, USMC PRT and oral boards it is worn proudly.
He seems also to have the Fleet Marine Forces ribbon.It was to recognize Navy personnel serving with USMC (1984-2006),but the requirements & policy were different. It was discontinued with the FMF Warfare Pin arrival. Some older types will wear both as the two were earned sometimes 10-20 yrs apart.
His eagles are collar worn Navy style (Surface, Sub, Air and Staff) BUT they are dicked up. They are going “outboard” (beak towards shoulders) while they are to be worn “inboard”.
He must have watched “Winds of War” to learn about uniform regs. CAPT Bones USN (ret)
I’m one of the OGs that had the FMF ribbon and pin and was one of the first FMF warfare qualifiers appointed in Lejeune.
Looks like NFO wings to me and a first class dive bubble…the anchor on the FMF breast insignia has the flukes facing the other direction, also no waves and rifles from what I can see when I enlarge the pic.Even the FMF chaps have waves but no rifles.
but… if we wanna cite the deficiencies on that uniform, Jonn’s gonna need more band width.
I say the time is better spent splicing the mainbrace.
found a better pic…but not much better…the stock is straight up so it can’t be NFO..might just be aviator wings, but the flukes seem offset to me..fakk I lose the resolution when I get it just about where I need it.
yeah, the flukes are touching the wings right where they should and the stocks are straight up…my money is on Naval Aviator Wings.
is it obvious I’m wasting time when I should be doing homework? faaaaakkkk
John, PLZ remove the “(2010”) after EEFMFWS.
Wrong date
yeah the E’s had it for years before the O’s and I was signing PQSs about a decade before 2010
I hope I run into this “hero”.
I’ll clue him in to what an ass kicking is.
He looks Transginger??
badum-tssssss
Today on the news here in Austin was a pic of chelsea, manning, or whatever his name is now.
The worst part was his shirt was open and he showed off his fake tit…
I damn near barfed a big one out…
disgusting and of course the media played it out like ti was a big deal him coming our for some thing or other…
CLICK !!!!
Just nasty…
EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW…………
Easy there, big fella. Just spend some time with a nice, friendly beverage and a good listener, pour your heart out and emit a few manly tears, and you’ll feel a lot better.
Feelz are always in order after a supreme shock like that. I feelz for you.
This guy’s shadow box had to be delivered with a forklift.
Ballduster’s long-lost gyrene brother…birds of a feather FOGO together…